How can I increase my sex drive?

Please go and see a dr…it just might be your hormones are out of wack.

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A doctor is the place to start. Once determined no physical issue, set one evening or day a week for date night. It doesn’t need to be costly. One on one time away from the toddler.

Sounds like your testosterone is low.

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  1. I don’t feel like being intimate if I’m asked every single day… it gets annoying
  2. You may have a chemical imbalance
  3. It could be an emotional thing as well… usually women pull away when they’re dealing w emotional issues…
  4. There isn’t a pill that’ll fix you like there is for a man with ED.
  5. Talk to your doctor and be honest w how you’re feeling, if you’re having bad thoughts, if you’re bored w the husband…if there’s been abuse in the past or neglect and now you’re just shut off
  6. One on one time without the kids is very important in a relationship

Best wishes and good luck

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If you’re on birth control that could be why

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Pls don’t beat urself up over it. U are probably exhausted daily from all the work that raising a child takes, and perhaps a job, and other life stresses. And I would guess u don’t want to just be intimate and “go through the motions,” as that may feel fake and ur partner might pick up on that. Maybe speak with ur doctor to see if they can do blood work. That doesn’t mean anything is “wrong” with u. Is there any way of having a date night alone, without children, at least once or twice a month? That may help rekindle some interest. I would try relaying what uv told us, to ur husband, if u haven’t already. Ask him to pls be patient, reassure him that u love him and some reasons u think he’s great, and that u hope to get some blood work perhaps to make sure everything is ok, and that u would love to try and have time together (minus the children) a few times a month. Maybe suggest that it would be nice to do nice things for one another, with no expectations of anything in return. Also if he could perhaps not ask for sex for a bit, until u can try and get things figured out, that would be helpful and appreciated. I know it is hard to get in the mood when ur exhausted and little ears may be close by as well. That, on top of always giving selflessly to others, often putting urself last, and sapping ur energy. So, pls cut urself some slack. Maybe if u both ease off of different things for a bit, u can both someday be back in each other’s arms. But, for now, one step at a time. I wish u luck.

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Antidepressants will lower your libido

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Not your fault at all, he needs to be patient with you. It could be as simple as not being felt pushed to do it or it could be hormonal issues.

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Go on a nice little mini vacation just the two of you! Try some new stuff, pamper yourself so you’re feeling yourself and you can always make a doctor appointment if you think it’s something that needs help like hormones. Nothing to be ashamed of

I don’t think anyone on here is in a position to tell you what’s wrong and you need to see a Dr.

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Naturopath! To balance hormones :slightly_smiling_face:

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I lost my sex drive going through menopause. I started naturally at 39 and completed it at 42, now I have zero drive.
Go see your doctor maybe have your FSH levels checked.

Get your thyroid hormone checked at the doctors and maybe plan a weekend away for you and hubby

try the herb Damiana and ask your Dr for a temporary priscription for hormone replacement

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Definitely might be a hormone issue. I’d recommend seeing an integrative medicine doctor who utilizes traditional and non-traditional treatments to adjust any imbalances in your hormones. It’s a little pricey, because insurance may not cover it, but it might at least be worth looking into. :slight_smile:

Being tired really messes with us moms even if we don’t notice it. Start asking your bf to do more. Sometimes I just want help with getting the kids to brush their teeth before bed
Also, pick a day you are feeling good and just think about it throughout the day. Kinda prep yourself for it.
Don’t beat yourself up. I get the same way, especially when I have a lot going on with family or friends. Maybe let your bf see these responses so he knows it’s not just you. Hugs mama!

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It could be hormonal. Go see your doctor

Maybe if he marries you

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I had a similar issue a n.v d I saw a doctor and found out I had major hormonal issues, might be worth looking into for yourself!

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See a medical professional. A woman who listen & do the necessary testing.

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I am on certain medications. That has taken away any kind of sex drive for many years. I have talked to multiple doctors, and they told me I could go on male hormone drugs. I told them yeah but no. I do not need to grow a beard or have my voice changed to a man.

Go to obgyn it’s your hormones, it not your fault

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Maca root or Ashwaghanda, both adaptogenic and balance hormones. Maca is best for sex drive. Both at whole foods or natural foods stores.

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Go see your doctor and get a blood test to see what your testosterone levels are ( yes girls we have it to) because that’s what gives us sex drive.

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Maca will also cause weight gain. I tried Maca root for 6 months and it didn’t seem to work for me. I just gained weight

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I increase my sex drive? - Mamas Uncut

First of all, are you on any antidepressants? Several things could cause this. Talk to your dr. :blush:

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I suggest going to the doctor you could be low on certain vitamins or maybe even need some hormones!

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Stevie Vela can you give some advice??

This happened to me back in my 40’s. The male gynecologist I went to told me to think about sex 10 minutes a day​:woman_facepalming::woman_shrugging:

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Birth control pills can affect your sex drive. Maybe it’s not pills but talk to a doctor, it could be hormonal.

See an alternative type Dr. He can check out hormone levels
Even women depend on testosterone for their sex drive. You can want to have sex drive all you want but if hormones are off…if the estrogen to high, which can push down testosterone… can make a world of difference…

You could have a deficiency. But also I’ve found that my spouse "trying everyday " actually hinders things. It takes away from the heat/romance of it.

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Sounds to me like you guys need a romantic reminder towards each other. See if you can take a weekend, have family watch your daughter, and the two of you take time to spend with each other and reconnect. I went through this with my husband after having my twins and it all boiled down to me feeling unattractive which led me to lose my confidence in myself. Without that confidence I could not give in to his advances. We went away for a weekend and spent an amazing 3 days just hanging out, going to dinner, and watching the sunset together. He then tried something new in bed and it drove me insane. Now I’m practically begging for his time.

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Talking to eachother is a huge step and really concentrate on foreplay, take things slow, love and appreciate eachother, even if its just date night with a takeaway and a drink that ends up with you both spooning, if that doesn’t help then speak to your gp, but don’t shut him out, work through this as a team! Good luck

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HSDD can be caused by anything. Mental issues to stress to medicstions like anti-depressants or Blood pressure pills. Best to see your doctor because for women there really isnt a cure for all for this. You may get it back tomorrow or you may get it back never.

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Watch porn and buy some oils and just do it… don’t be afraid to tell him what you want him to do to you.

Its common in women. Talk to your doctor about a hormone shot. After you have kids sometimes your levels fluctuate causing no sex drive. I have this too. Best of luck!

Learning your partners love language definitely helps and of course him learning yours. It is not always a sexual turn on. My husband and I entered counseling for this reason and we both learned many things we could do to positively affect our intimacy.

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Watch some porn together. Maybe that will help.
Also I seen a comment about him trying to everyday is annoying. I agree. I got annoyed when that ws all my SO would wanna do.

Seek out a dr. Advice from fb isn’t the way to go about it

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Firstly, slow down Mama! You are not at fault! Do not, I repeat do not start pinning this on you. It will only escalate the problem adding pressure.

It is completely normal within the first 5 years following baby!!! That’s Chemistry.

That doesn’t mean you can’t or won’t rekindle that flame. It’ll take a certain mood, or stars aligning to kick start it.

I recommend seeing a doctor to rule out hormone imbalances. There’s that awful chemistry again :confused:

Otherwise you’ll need an assessment. I’d begin by asking questions like “Is my disinterest related to a wandering mind?” Or “Might there just not be enough energy or time to get this right?”

Sometimes it’s just the right amount of together time mixed with tone and mood. Other times it’s a bit more cryptic, have you tried massage?

You’ll need lots of time. Time alone, time together. Something you just won’t get alot of until wee one is a bit older :slight_smile:

Hang in there Mama! You’re on the right track. Don’t be so hard on yourself

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I’ve noticed when I’m eating poorly my drive goes down but when I’m eating healthier my sex drive goes up, especially when I drink alot of water, I have no sex drive if I’m dehydrated

Following. I have the desire in my mind and heart, but i have fibromyalgia and am always in pain, which makes it really hard to even be touched sometimes​:sob::sob: good luck to you, maybe someone will have some good advice!

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Talk with your doctor

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I am on the DEPO shot and it makes me have a super low sex drive!

Talk to your Dr…very likely a hormonal issue or something that may have an easy fix.

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Hormones, stress can be contributing. Have hormone level checked and practice self care and/or eliminate stressors

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First of all it’s not your fault!! There is no fault to be had. Becoming a mother does a lot to your hormones and being a mother is exhausting! Take the pressure off and let it be something you want because it will feel good and make you happy. Try to find ways to get yourself excited separately, try a vibratory or watching porn or something that excites you. Spend some time with yourself quietly and ask yourself, what do I want? What turns me on? Who am I as a woman besides a mother and wife or partner? Try to find a way to make it enjoyable and exciting not guilt ridden. You’ve got this! You deserve love and patience and pleasure and you’ll find it :kissing_heart:

Well first of all, and I can’t believe it hasn’t been said yet, it is not your fault and there is nothing wrong with you. It happens after having a baby. It happens for many reasons. Try speaking with your gynocologist. It could be a hormonal issue. If u have a reg dr speak with him or her as well. And if that doesn’t get u the answers u need, speak with a therapist. There are so many things it could be. I wouldn’t worry so much with planning weekends away or a night without your baby right now because that puts the pressure on you to have to have sex and when u don’t feel up for it or can’t then you’ll be that much harder on yourself. Speak with your husband, tell him there’s something wrong there and you don’t understand what it could be. That you love him and are attracted to him but your drive is gone. Make sure to love on him, hug him.

I personally recognize as asexual, so I understand none-low sex drives.
I have honest communication with my partner and he understands and doesn’t pressure me.
Like others said, learn each other’s love language. There’s more than sex to be intimate with each other.

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For me it was same with my husband when I finally decided to leave for other reasons that came up after it suddenly came back :flushed:

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Tell him to do more chores lol then you’ll have time and energy to do it. If your on birth control that could be it too

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Putting the kids to bed early. Bathing, cuddling, toys, music, massage. Fruit and chocolate. Every couple (with kids) has gone through these things. Make time for you to relax every afternoon. It will enhance your personal life.

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Hormonal imbalance. Talk to your doctor.

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Have you had your thyroid checked?? That is one of the biggest reasons we lose our sex drive after having babies. I didn’t know mine was off til my oldest son was 2. Within about two years it had regulated again and I was able to stop taking the meds. My sex drive has never been better. Check into it, it could be a game changer for you.

Fake it like the rest of us do. :rofl:

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If your a certain age it could be hormonal changes.

It could be your meds if your on any

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I have zero sex drive but committed (to myself) not to ever turn my husband down (unless there was a real reason to do so). Ultimately I end up satisfied and glad that we did have sex. If it were up to me to initiate, based on my drive we may never have sex again.

I was told with having haemochromatosis my sex drive would be like this. But I must have passed it onto my husband instead :joy:

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See your doctor. There is help

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It’s a question for your doctor because while it’s possible it could be hormone related , it could also mean something more serious health wise . This question needs to be addressed with a physician . Your primary can refer you to a gynecologist

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Just do it a few times and maybe it’ll get you more in the mood to do it more often. Talk to him about and request that he does something(s) you enjoy to help get you in that state of intimacy

Come join the Coochie Crew of Queens of Yoni Detox she’ll get you together hunny

That happened to me too. After we split up I met a new man who treats me well and makes me feel appreciated, doesn’t lie to me and guess what, my sex drive came back. I realized I lost desire for my ex because he was so hurtful to me.

I highly recommend reading “come as you are” by Nagoski

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Fake it…give him what he wants…:woman_shrugging:t3::woman_facepalming:t3: jus saying…you want to keep him??? You could also go to your doc but what’s a little faking going to hurt :peace_symbol::heart:

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Get some blood work done. Talk to a doc for sure :slight_smile: and try and get some one on one time with your husband as much as possible! we get so busy with kids and life in general our relationship gets put on the back burner! Lots of good books and challenges you guys can read and do together as well that can rekindle the spark.

I can relate. I have ZERO drive. I feel so bad for him and idk how to get it back

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Go see a doctor,you might need hormons

First off, you’re more than likely HIGHLY stressed as well as sleep deprived. That right there will kill it.

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Look, let’s get real. It gets old. And no matter how hard they try, some partners just don’t speak the same sex language we do. Take some time alone and scroll through xvideos.com, or whatever other site floats your boat, for stuff you just dream about and LET GO. Get yourself in the mood first and then surprise HIM. Or just take care of yourself and chill out. That’s how you last through the decades! If you’re not in the mood, give him a free BJ and call it a day. This way he doesn’t suffer and you’re off the hook for a couple of days lol. REAL TALK

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A few years back I had this same conversation with my physician and he said your sex drive is like a muscle you have to exercise it. Just like working out you don’t want to but you have to push through sometimes and just do it, and just like working out after a bit you start to see the results and you want to do it more.

There are ads all over here for that new med Addiy. A little “pink pill” for exactly this problem for women. Talk to your Dr. Couldn’t hurt.

Have a few glasses of wine. Relax and put no pressure on yourself.

Sometimes hidden depression can affect libido! Happened to my cousin

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I had this same problem after having my daughter. I just felt absolutely ugly & hideous. I was not comfortable showing or looking at my body for the longest. My husband was so sweet & would remind me all the time that I was even more beautiful now because I was a mother​:heart: We didn’t do anything for months I just wasn’t comfortable. Over time & working on feeling normal again I decided I was ready to make love again & let’s just say it was one of the best times we’ve had!!:heart: It was definitely worth the wait! Do not blame yourself momma! It is completely okay to feel however you are feeling. Your husband sounds likes he is just trying to create a spark and might not see it’s making you feel bad. Communication is key. Be raw & real with him. And like others suggested taking a date night for just you two may help with figuring out the issues!!:heart::heart:

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Same!I have been with my partner for 14 years we have four kids together and honestly sex feels like a chore I have no sex drive no want to cuddle kiss anything like that by the end of the day I’m just drained and he tries all the time to initiate it but I’m just not into it

Check out Hormone Pellet therapy, It works amazing for both Men and Women. Prayers and Blessings <3

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Are you on birth control? It can kill off any desire you have long term. Just a thought

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Are you on any birth control? If not you need to let your gyno know cause your body may either be producing too much or not enough of something

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I was in the same boat and had hormone levels checked. Now I use a low dose testosterone cream.

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Smoke something … lol Actually see the OBGYN or ask your Endocrinologist to do blood work. Probably just a hormone thing. Don’t suffer like I did … see a doctor … it is soooooo worth it. Do it for yourself … sex isn’t just for pleasing him … it’s for you also. :two_hearts:

I would get a check up with labs. Hormones could be the problem.
Also relationship are very hard work and every aspect of the relationship has to be nurtured to grow. I’ve been married 32 years and had a time in my relationship where it took a lot of effort to get things going but once they did i very much enjoyed it. so i would focus on how much I enjoyed it that last time and it was a lot easier to get started the next time

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I never read comments above! But I think u should start dating him again. Go on dates make time for each other once a week! Kids go to bed it’s your guys time. Take a bath together watch a movie!! Hope that helps best of luck girl :two_hearts:

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Go to the doctor. Sounds like a hormonal imbalance.

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I’m 28, my husband is 34, and we’ve been married for 11 years. Our son is 9 almost 10 and I’ve had almost zero sex drive since then. I finally broke down and went to the doctor and found out I have PCOS along with Thyroid issues. They put me on medicine and I’m not kidding you, in the last 3 weeks we’ve done the deed every single day multiple times a day :joy: I’d get my thyroid tested if I were you. It can throw everything off!

Oh honey there is nothing “wrong” with you. You are still going through the motions of early childhood, and child bearing has such an incredible effect on our bodies and our mind. It all takes time. Some more than others but you will get there. Asking advice is always the first step.

You could talk to a dr about any medical causes or possibly a therapist who can help you figure out where the issue lies if not medically. Another thing is our hormones change throughout our lives and it could be a passing phase. And sometimes sex can feel like it’s another chore. While it is annoying, frustrating, and depressing, you can overcome it!!

A nice getaway is always a good idea if it’s been a while.
Is sex quality good? Are you fulfilled? Could it use some exploring to make things spicy again? Talking to a dr is all and well but conversations with your S/O are incredibly important as well! Express to him how you’re feeling and together come up with ideas on how to improve the situation bc it is not your fault. This is life and these things happen but working together will always get you through♥️

Talk to your doctor. It could be a hormonal thing.

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Contact your gynecologist or primary physician. Could definitely be hormone related especially after having a little one.

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Little pink pill!!!

1 go to he doctor and get your hormone levels checked 2 relax 3 do daily affirmations 4 if you arent getting yourself ready and doing self care like your hair and stuff to make yourself feel good do that make yourself feel good and tell yourself you look good like before you had kids you know when you were getting ready to go out with your man. 5 is he getting you ready to get busy is there foreplay? You know the flirting the kisses etc? Cus you may just need the extras

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Stop your birth control if u are on it

So I was the general manager of 2 sexual health and wellness boutiques for 8 years. We had lots of options for women with a low sex drive. There are lots of safe, herbal supplements that increase blood flow, especially to your erogenous zones like the clitoris, the vaginal opening, nipples etc… the increased blood flow will stimulate those areas and cause them to be much more sensitive to touch. They also work by increasing libido, and increasing vaginal lubrication. I know there are a lot of them out there and it may seem overwhelming, but one in particular that I can personally vouch for and can say that we have sold a ton of is kangaroo for women. There is a pink pill, and a purple pill and the only difference between the two that I have seen is that the purple pill is three times stronger than the pink. These are safe as long as you don’t have a heart condition which is only something that they say to be extra careful for liability reasons because of the increased blood flow. There is also Spanish fly, which does roughly the same thing but is a little more difficult to figure out the dosing. There is also clit stimulating gel & G-Spot stimulating gel that are topical solutions which can be used with or without the pills. This will stimulate those areas and increase sexual drive by causing such stimulation. Another thing I recommend is if you are a social drinker, have a glass of wine or two, lower your inhibitions a little bit and get yourself out of your mind. Allow yourself to relax and just enjoy the moment. Sometimes we may not initially be in the mood, but if we allow our body to respond to the pleasure, our mind will catch up to it. I definitely suggest you have an open and honest conversation with your partner about it and explain to him that it has absolutely nothing to do with him but that you are trying things to correct the situation. Perhaps suggest going to a sexual wellness store and picking out a few items to try together. Make it a fun adult night. get a babysitter, maybe go out to dinner and hand him the remote to a vibrating panty and give him the control. They make really good options now that can clip right into your own panties so you don’t have to worry about them coming with these ridiculous little lace panties that tie up that only fit extremely petite women. California Exotics offers a ton of really great internal and external remote panty vibes. Maybe after dinner you go home, light a few candles, set the mood, get into some sexy lingerie, pour a few glasses of wine for you and your partner, start with an erotic massage and then work your way into foreplay… so much of it is just letting go and being in the moment. Try to do whatever you can to get out of your head and let your body do the thinking. What you’re going through is completely normal, but it will take work on your behalf and your partner’s behalf to get you to a place where you are back to where you once were. I have found that clean eating and regular exercise really helps do wonders for depression and anxiety and an added benefit is that it will help you drop any extra baby weight you may be carrying and boost your confidence. Just know that you are not alone, and that there are ways to fix this issue. You just have to have an open mind and be willing to step outside of your comfort zone a little bit.

It could be ppd talk to your dr about it.

Nothings ‘wrong’ w you. Agree get hormones checked. Allow someone to babysit if you’re a stay at home mom. Have date nights to dress up and feel sexy. Your child is 2 you may just be seeing yourself through the lens of mom and not sexy wife. Talk to people. Don’t shut him out. Take care of him in other ways if not the whole experience :wink:. Hang in there!!!

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Very common!! You are not alone!

Almost half of all US women have low libido or no libido-sex drive.
Message me for info and tips to help.
Patty Marmann,RN
Pure Romance by Patty Marmann

I feel this so much; I just wanted to let you know that your not alone xx

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