You are nor alone 
my daughter is 4 and we are going through the same. She is an amazing child. I can confidently say she is not a naughty child, she is so loving and caring. But lately the tantrums are so real and embarrassing. I have sat her down and these are a results of her dad not being here at the moment, she speaks to him daily but it has been a very long time since he was home. We feel like the only one it’s happening too but your definitely not alone. My daughter is not bothered by a smack, I can place her in her room, remove the iPad and other treats and she is not bothered, I am at a loss and also have no idea what to do.
A good old fashioned swat on her behind will show her that behavior is not going to be tolerated at all.
I had 3 boys that are now 23, 21, and 16.
for the most part they were great. they behaved and were very respectful to others even at the young ages of 2, 3, 4, etc.
but there were only a handful of times where their behavior was beyond giving them a timeout or warning.
examples were hitting each other or me, throwing items that could hurt someone, or not listening when it came to a dangerous situation like running toward cars or the road.
I never beat them. I did smack their hand or gave them one swat on their butt. now these situations mostly happened when they were still in diapers so the swat on their butts didn’t hurt at all but the sound of the diaper getting the swat got their attention.
I would swat them and make them sit down for a minute and I would sit with them and I would talk to them. I would tell them why they got the swat and ask them to tell me why they thought I did it. even at 2 they would explain it the best way they could for their age. and they never repeated the action they got the swat for.
it only took the one time.
and I would take them all to stores with me alone and before we got out of the car I would tell them, ok we are getting this stuff at this store, we are not getting any toys or candy and we are not running around right? and they would agree
we all went in the store they would help pick out their snacks and if they could reach them on the shelves I’d let them get them and hand them to me to put in the cart until they were big enough to be able to put the stuff in the carts.
I would also tell them ok in this store you can pick out one toy, book, etc…but only if you behave until I’m done with my stuff first.
I very rarely had any issues with them and was always complimented about how well my boys acted.
they even held doors and helped others if they dropped something or still to this day say bless you to anyone they hear sneeze.
I used age appropriate language when they were little but I made sure they understood the reason things happened.
this whole you can’t discipline you kids, you just have to reason with them is not the way to go. we have seen a whole generation of those who essentially babied the whole time they grew up and the vast majority of them are not fully functional adults, they are the ones who feel entitled to everything and that rules shouldn’t apply to them.
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When your child tells you they hate you, you know you’re parenting right!! 
I have a 5 & 6 yr olds 
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Normally I’d say nothing to worry about. But a few things have me wondering if this is worth a trip to a doctor. Her age, it’s not out of the realm of possibility, but it seems a bit old to me just start having full on tantrums. From my understanding they are usually do to trouble communicating. unless there is an underlying cause. It’s a new behavior. And it lasted all the way home.
I am wondering if there’s been any changes in her life?
As for how you handled it… we have all been there and you just try your best. Stay calm. Talk them through the emotions. I usually tell my son, what hes feeling will be over soon and we can talk about it. I take deep breaths with him. Sometimes he will let me hold him. Sometimes I give him space.
She definitely needs a way to express her frustration that is appropriate. Her feelings are fine. But tantrums won’t work and won’t help.
My son threw a tantrum at the shop once i whooped his ass, he never did it again he’s 7 now and I always get told he has great manners
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Give her ass a could smack ?
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Spank. That. Butt. 
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no advice but I wanted to say that I hope you’re ok
its so hard when they do things like this. Just know you’re not alone and I’m sure you’re doing a great job
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My 4 year old son is the same and we’ve noticed it’s always when there’s a change (E.g telling him he’s going to be a big brother, me being off work all of a sudden). Shouting and the ‘naughty’ step doesn’t work. I’ve now started rewarding his good behaviour, we found a small jar and bought some little Pom poms and every time he does something good (could be something so minor like switching the telly off when told) he gets a Pom Pom in his jar and when the jar is full we go and get a treat! I’ve also found giving him more responsibilities helpful e.g having his own kids trolley when shopping, helping mummy put the dirty washing in the washing machine. Don’t get me wrong there are times I lose it with him, it’s hard when they lash out!!
My son still hits, kicks, pokes and pinches me but I also think it’s a lack of communication thing as well as his speech isn’t perfect! Have you heard of portage? We’ve just been referred to them to help with his emotional and social behaviours- hoping it helps🤞
I hope you’re okay, it won’t last forever even though it may seem it! You’ve got this❤️
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Disgusting how many people still want to hit their kids 
christ.
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Start having a tantrum your self. It socks they socks off a little one. Time out not work as by the time you get back home the child has forgotten why time out is needed
I know you really want that toy and you feel really mad that you can not have it. And that I said you can not have it.
Calm voice even if your child is screaming and crying. You will be very surprised at the response you will get from her if she knows that you understand how she is feeling. You have to be with their feelings or else you will get no where with them.
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Step away from it. Why are you humiliated and embaressed? It wasn’t you who had a tantrum. Stop projecting your social feelings onto her. I would have put her into the car by herself and stood outside of the car and allowed her space to calm down. Then explain to her that her behaviour is absolutely not acceptable. You understand she’s frustrated but violence is not acceptable. Ironic when most of the people on here and telling you to smack her when your frustrated with her but it’s totally disgusting for her to hit you when she’s frustrated 
laughable.
Children can’t be negotiated with when they are in that mood. You are the adult you did the right thing removing her from the situation. Don’t react. You are upset understandably so, use that. You’ve really upset mummy by hurting her and behaving like that. Why do you feel so cross? Remove things she likes. Any screen time whatever it is. If you behave like that again then there will be consequences.
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Next time your frustrated and angry and stropping around the house your husband should give you a good smack. Nope… Because its illegal. Don’t raise kids who want to smack emotions away. Stop smacking kids for having emotions. They haven’t navigated successful calming down methods yet. That’s our job.
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You got this Mama. People in the store will stare and only pay attention for a while you don’t take them home with you. Life with a young child can be hard as it is without people having to stare. 
Don’t beat yourself out you doing a great job one day at the time will get you there.
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No hitting ppl! Just tell the little monster they can stay in store till they calm down and you will maybe come back to bring them home. That will make them quiet immediately! If that dont work tell them its the last time they will go to the store! It works and noone is humiliated.
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I’m signed up to a parents parenting advice from my children’s school and I get sent emails every week. How I can deal with hard situations as I hit this point. I didn’t know what to do and since getting the help off tips etc my kids are slowly changing and getting better. For this week is about emotional support. I’m not sure if this will help. But it helped me. Whoever is this post. Feel free to inbox me and I can send some emails to yourself so you can also benefit off it. not every parent gets this help which is abit crap but I’m happy to share any advice I’m given too.
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Mine started that around 3. I stopped taking her. Found a way. Almost a year. She was always a fit thrower at home though. The only thing you can do in the moment is try talking. It’s ok to be mad, but it’s not ok to______. I understand that you wanted the book, but this is what we can do next time,_______. You are not going to be able to go to the store if this is how you act. These were some of my talks. I also use in my class if 1-3 year olds. Sorry you went through that. Hope it was an isolated incident. Y’all got this!
My 3 year old son acts this way sometimes and my approach was usually to hell and to be agressive and now I find that being calm and asking what’s wrong and reassuring him that everything will be ok he will be 4 in November just talk to her! And tell her everything will be ok. Reassure her. Their are many other ways to calm her down.
Toddlers are just frustrated little people, sometimes they cant communicate whats really wrong. It so hard to stay calm when theyre doing this i know (mom of 3 here, soon to be 4) my eldest is 9 and has ODD. Sometimes talking with them can calm them down if you stay calm and sometimes its just not going to work. Its a juggling act for sure. But ive found distraction is key! My current 2 year old can be sweet as pie or a scratching kicking nightmare, when the latter comes i simply distract her with something else, something i know she likes, she adores Elmo rn and so Ill sing the elmo song or play it on my phone for her to listen to. Even just being too tired can cause these emotional outbursts in toddlers…being a mama requires so much patience. She scratched me last night on my belly and it hurt so bad but instead of yell i said “no scratching” she proceeded to scream at me in her 2 yr old vocab so i said, bedtime? She stopped instantly. Find what works best and use it mama, god speed.
A good f spanking does not hurt a kid,you don’t have to beat them,but on the other side you don’t have to reward them every time they smile at you either.!!!
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Pinching works to remind a child that mommy is in charge. A well placed pinch on the ear or the underside of their arm near the armpit works best.
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For those who say hit your child when they act up…how about when your having an attitude…bad day…off day…or feeling shitty cause you can’t express your self I’ll smack you around until you change your tone ? Smh 
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Oh man us too, he is gonna start kindergarten soon and I’m so scared. He got kicked out of 8 daycares due to behavior. Hes in therapy now but he still acts that way. I just get away from him when hes hurting me. Send him to his room.
First of all DONT be embarassed! Ive carried my son out of the store like a football a couple of times because he was having a total melt down. Focus on your daughter, not others (they will forget all about you in less than 5 minutes and move on with their day). Tantrums and fits will happen with toddlers because they cant control their emotions. Please dont beat yourself up.
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I had this happen all bc I told her she couldn’t touch anything when we were checking out. But it seemed out of the blue she threw a fit kicking and screaming and I was trying to push my cart and hold her sideways while she was kicking me and screaming. Then this woman walked up to me and said “do you want me help you to your car? We have all been there.” From that moment on I felt ok bc I just have to get thru it and I avoided if possible taking her shopping with me except the grocery store. You will get thru this until the next phase…
She needs her butt whipped, not abused or beat, but disciplined. Parents need to stop feeling guilty for having to discipline their children. My children are from 6-21 yrs old, I can count on one hand how many times they caught a spanking, that’s one hand for all of them together, once they know that a spanking is a consequence, then they will be quicker to obey. It’s not wrong to discipline by a spanking, as long as it’s not abuse, it truly does hurt us more than them, because no good parent WANTS to have to resort to that. If these tantrums aren’t dealt with seriously & quickly, they will last a long time. She’s old enough to understand.
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Do not EVER give in after you have given them an answer…. You said no…it’s a definite no.
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I would make sure my daughter was safe and let her have at it until she was done.
A one time good old fashioned whooping, should solve this. Sounds like you and hubby have given your authority over to her.
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My son did this when he turned 3. I took away every single toy and hid them for a full week. He had nothing but books. No TV no nothing… he never ever did that again… whatver u decide DO NOT give in. That’s the worst thing u can do. I said I would do it if he wasn’t behaving and I did.
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Mama she is testing the waters, I know it’s hard but don’t cry, remember she’s 4 and completely dependent on you for survival. She wants to see what she can get away with. Once you got home do a time out for 4 min, and then she’s grounded and or looses privileges. Once the screaming has stopped sit her down and talk to her about how we’re not gonna do that anymore and do not be afraid to use a stern voice. After give hugs and drop it completely. As for being embarrassed girl let it go ,… there’s gonna be many times moving forward that you’re gonna be embarrassed, ignore people, they don’t have your child, and If they judge literally throw something at them because that’s bullshit and all kids do this. And to ease your embarrassment
One time I had to take my son into the fitting room with me when he was younger and he decided halfway through while I was changing my top that he was going to crawl out underneath the door and take off like lightning McQueen, I instinctively ran after him because one he wasn’t wearing pants because we were also trying pants on him and two didn’t realize and I never put my shirt back on and I was most definitely in my bra so it gets better you’ll learn to laugh about it I promise
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Spanking doesn’t work on all children. Kids are like migraines. There’s no one reason or cause for their behavior and there’s no one way to get them to stop. You have to try different things to see what works for you. Spanking, taking things away, talking to her, handing out punishments etc didn’t work for my child… ever. I grew up getting my ass torn out the frame if I misbehaved ANYWHERE… but that didn’t work for my child. Whatever you decide, it’s YOUR way. And please be consistent between you and your husband. Don’t be embarrassed…ppl who have children understand, and those who don’t, eventually will.
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When any of my sons tried to throw a tantrum i usually ignore them. Or the y get taken out of the store. But at home they go to their room and sit until they decide they can be reasonable.
What ever you do, ensure your daughter understand that is the only 1 time she can behave like that…i think most parents would have gotten the 'I hate you, wish you we werent my mom ’ dnt rest on that… Be the parent… she will apprecite you in the long run…
Stay strong, keep firm… make the consequences of your actions count…
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If it’s not her norm and the first time she behaved this way maybe she was tired and emotional? Maybe something else is bothering her?
You did the right thing by making her go right to the car with that behavior and not giving in.
If it’s a new, progressive behavior. She’s learned somewhere that she can get her way if she behaves a certain way.
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Don’t be humiliated . Every child will test thier parent, stay calm, in control . Not all children respond to ass whooping, she will need to stay home if she chooses to have a hissy, then go with out her
my 3 year old doesnt have tantrums very often but when she does i ly down on the floor with her and kick my legs just like her a scream. She was so in shock she got straight up and stopped😅 hasn’t happened since
I would not drag my son , but “usher“ him to a bench outside the store or mall. I would then tell him this…”let me know when you’re done”. Usually 5-10 minutes tantrum would be over
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Get on her level and talk to her. Young kids have a hard time expressing themselves and will lash out in negative ways. My daughter is 2.5 years old and has done this and I ask her if shes had a bad day or not at daycare and sometimes her answer is “yes”. Things in the store could of also overwhelmed her, the amount of people for example. Reinforce to her that it’s okay to have a bad day, but it’s not okay to lash out at you the way she did, which in turn caused her to get punished example such as her favorite toy being taken. Reinforce positive behavior.
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My son acted like this when he was 3, I bought a bean bag, and whenever he had an episode I would put him on the bean bag and make him stay there, everytime he got up.i would put him back on it, after a few weeks his tantrums stopped, just keep focus momma it will all turn out ok, he’s 12 now and a very well behaved preteen!
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You was doing the right thing by taking her out of the store.
Im so sorry to hear that. Maybe trying to see what May have triggered her acting up. Something that was done different in her routine. Sometimes the slightest change in their schedule can trigger such behavior.
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Every child is different girl… It depends on what they respond to! You have to find what works for your child. And it may be a spanking or it may be getting down on their level and trying to talk to them or maybe it’s timeouts. Regardless it’s up to you as parents to find out what works for your child as an individual! Children respond to punishments differently. Good luck on figuring it out though! I have raised 4 ( 3rd one just graduated so I have only one more at home 
) and the punishment was different for all of them. You will figure it out
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My grandkids did this with me. Yep they got a spanking right there in the store. Spare the rod spoil the child. They haven’t done it again. Nip in the butt at the time as its happening.
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Its the unpopular opinion, but WOOP HER ASS. My boys both have had their butts spanked, but I also use timeout and quiet time. But they have only pulled a stunt like that once and that was enough.
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Maybe she is tired? Had a long day? Had a bad day? Kids have emotions too and sometimes don’t know how to express them and can over react to small things like that. When I sit down to see what’s really wrong and try to talk to them, they will tell me that they are tired or whatever they are really upset about. It helps a lot and they calm down after getting it off their chest. It helps with me anyway. They have grown and not acted like that very much because we have an open dialog about our emotions.
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I had one of mine do this so I waited next time I reversed it an i threw the tantrum then questioned now didn’t mommy look silly? Did it work and I got what I wanted? Did you notice other people doing it or were they staring? How could this been avoided and explain how we think we could have gotten a/the reward. 
Be more conscious of how you’re speaking with her before you even arrive at the store. Be clear of your goals. Tell her what you’re shopping for today and could she help you choose what to pick out please ( we need apples next, should we choose the red or the green?)
By giving her jobs, and choices to make that seem important, you’re keeping her engaged and making her feel important.
At the end of shopping you can tell her she did a great job helping and if she would like to pick something for herself from the items YOU choose as appropriate, then she may.
It may take time. She may continue with the tantrums until she’s learned how to behave appropriately to get what she wants.
If she does throw another tantrum, do not engage the behavior. Take her out to the car and let her cry it out there. Stand outside the car and don’t engage the behavior. When she’s finally calm again, ask her if she’s ready to finish shopping. If she says no, and seems agitated, give her another few minutes. Tell her that’s fine, you can both wait here until she is ready to act appropriately in the store. And then don’t engage. See the pattern?
At home maybe during dessert, start conversations about how we act when we’re out with mommy. Be cheerful, fun, but clear. Use shorter sentences, easy to understand language. Make eye contact. Be loving.
Then when you go out next, drop cheerful reminders before exiting the vehicle.
Good luck.
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It’s not the 80’s anymore, do what you see fit now days
Could be autism meltdown
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Stick to what you say don’t fold and hold your ground your the boss mumma not her you got this and if that don’t work woop her butt
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Sounds like she is used to getting her way and when she did not this is the result. Expectations & basic rules should be started at a young age. You raise a child with zero expectations-of behavior that acceptable - you will get this result.
If you don’t have control at 5 you will never have it, so what they say handle it now…good old fashion spanking works wonders for changing an attitude…I raised 2 good boys, on my own after their dad left…and I have 8 grandkids, mostly boys…they don’t test me even at 18 and 6’2…good luck but do it fast.
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no offense but i would whoop her ass… And after she calms down from her whooping i will let her know if i say no its no…
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You created the monster. It should only take one or 2 tantrums for a child even at 4 to realize that is unacceptable behavior. Parenting need to own up to their parenting flaws. This talk to them softly, get on their level, they are overly sensitized, let them express themselves, is just malarkey.
Now there’s behavior where grace needs to be shown ( sick, overly tired, etc) but a trantrum bc they were told no is unacceptable and most often bc the parents said yes too many times.
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My sis did it best at the first sign of the tantrum she gave the mom look and sternly said do you honestly think that behavior will work? When the 3rd came around one time…her two older kids said do you really think that will work? No issues.
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She needs a spanking
She literally threw the biggest fit bc she couldn’t get her way and have a book. I’m assuming you explained to her why she couldn’t have the book and she still chose to throw a fit.
Trust me, she knew what she was doing.
You need to toughen up and spank her.
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Read the book How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen. Lots of good techniques in there to diffuse situations or prevent them from starting. Best guess, she was tired or hungry or just had too much that day. All we can control is our reaction (and that is hard!). It makes all the difference in the world how you react. Every technique I’ve used from that book has worked.
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I have a 4 and 5 year old. My 5 year old is the one who has melt downs in the store. Even before we go into the store I remind them what we are going for. Usally turns into full on screaming melt down over some toy she wants. I carry on and ignore the behavior, people can look at me all they want but I’m not embarrassed we have all been there. I remind my daughter that everyone is watching her and that usually brings her back down . I dont have the choice to drag her out to the car every time so i Ignore the bad behavior
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Figure out any underlying issue is she tired, overstimulated, hungry etc if none of that is the issue try to understand she had an explanation and it didn’t happen and she doesn’t know how to express those feelings. Is this the first time you told her no. Try sitting and talking with her my son waited until he was 6 and I blame myself for spoiling him and sometimes they both get a spanking because I don’t want disrespectful spoiled kids. Hang in there mom you will get through this we’ve all been there. She just needs to learn that’s not acceptable behavior
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My son is almost 2 and hits his head on the nearest hard object when he’s angry. He will try to hit the cats or dogs when he’s angry. I talked to his doctor about it and she told me that he doesn’t know how to express his anger so he just lashes out. She told me to stay as calm as possible and talk to him, and try to help him find another outlet for his anger. It’s really hard sometimes.
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We’ve all been there! Don’t beat yourself up. You know your child best, so maybe some of these suggestions will hold water and some won’t. Was your daughter super hungry/tired? Was she WAY over stimulated? Has she been through a lot of change lately? I try to remember that the Covid world has been like 50% of what she remembers of life, so really going to the store etc is probably a little foreign to her, maybe? Just follow through again and again and it will suck, but it will be worth it.
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First of all don’t take those aggression targetted towards you. It’s a sign of trust. My son has had bad meltdowns too. It’s hard for young children to deal with their emotions. Usually when my son acts up It’s because there is something else going on (tired, hungry, bored etc). I usually try to talk to him when that happens. Let him know it wasn’t nice and see what he wants. I think you did the right thing by removing her from the store. You are doing good
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It’s a stage. Be firm. When she says awful things, tell her that makes you sad.
The best way to diffuse this behavior, once home is to isolate her in her room and until she calms down.
When she’s reentered the rational world, ask her what happened and explain how that behavior won’t be tolerated.
Help her w coping skills when she’s very upset or angry.
Good luck
Better get her to the doctor right away.
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That has happened to me. Take them out of the store right away. Stay consistent.
What you need to do is find a Mexican friend that you trust and let your child go over that will straighten them up real quick my grandparents would have never let us get away with that hell all you really need to do is take them to the restroom and say when we get home you are in trouble and be stern
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We’re all human, when you have a bad day and maybe you’re a bit stroppy with your husband or you take something out on him does he respond physically?! We don’t need to spank or be physical with our child we need to educate them however that takes time. Believe me they push us to the brink of insanity at times but they won’t learn not to be a brat or to handle their emotions and reactions in the way we want them to by having a lesson taught like that, they will just become harder and generation repeated itself to their kids, would you like to see your child strike their kid one day.
She’s of an age where she understands so you have to stand firm you are boss and you take control and you can discipline her, but not by her overpowering you and you breaking down in the situation and in front of her (appreciate it’s hard but try to let it out when she’s in bed) and not be hitting her (I know you didn’t).
Sounds like she’s starting a phase that needs you to stand strong battle of the wills and discipline, and get your husband involved too with the discipline or telling her that she doesn’t treat you that way and why etc.
Remember it’s all a phase they go through so many
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Hear me out. You can also debrief with her and let her know she is entitled to her feelings its how she expressed it that’s the issue. Actions have to have consequences and even if it’s time out at home or removal of her favorite things. Just be consistent bc you set the standard not her
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Keep up your good parenting. She is simply testing you. Don’t give in. Do not cry in front of her. Give her consequences for her behavior. It will take time but I guarantee her behavior will improve once she sees your not giving in.
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The key is for you the parent to remain as calm as possible because getting frustrated over your toddler having a tantrum like that is only going to make the tantrum worse than what it already is. My almost 4 year old tells me he hates me when he throws a tantrum often and I try to stay as calm as possible about it even though the words themselves hurt. I then sit him down when he’s calm enough and tell him that he can’t say stuff like that because it hurts people’s feelings and that instead of screaming and throwing a tantrum he just needs to sit down by himself and calm down by doing something that distracts him from throwing a bigger tantrum.
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You all do realize there is a difference between spanking on the butt and beating your children?
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My 4yr old does the same thing, and this is because of Autism and he has meltdowns that just like that. He had one on 7/12 and on 7/13. The outcome is u basically take the beating while u talk to them without raising ur hand to discipline them because they don’t understand.
Ugh my two year has started to do this lately. And it’s hard because he is speech delayed so he can not tell me what’s wrong. He does this in every store now. But we went to Walmart and I literally heard someone say “shut your f***ing kid up!” 
I was so upset that day. 
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I tell my little man before we go into the shop if he cries for anything or acts silly we will go to the car and he will never come with to the shop again. If he behaves he can have a sucker and it has worked this far. Mommy don’t worry it happens to everyone don’t feel embarrassed we only human
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Prayers for you mama. I know it’s hard but it does get easier. She’s testing you. Stick to your boundaries.
One piece of advice is don’t physically engage your daughter while she is tantruming if you don’t have to for your safety. I deal with this a lot with my neurodivergent child.
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I have no idea what to do and I am just waiting for my 4 year old to do the same. Like your little one he is always good when he do anything. I struggle with the spanking thing. It my eyes it’s difficult to tell a child to stop hitting you and you stand there and hit them. The 80s style parenting many of us had is not always the best. I have not had this situation but how I have avoided it is getting down on my knees at that moment and telling him to take 3 deep breaths and tell him I understand how he is feeling but we do not act this way especially in public. If that does not work I quickly remove him til he calms down then talks.
U don’t even want to know how I would handle that!!!
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Ride it out outburst are going to happen it’s not the last 1 keep your head up mama💪
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I know the feeling… i have a son ,he is almost 3 years old
Almost everytime we go out he does this to his dad ,it was me at first
I’ve learned that its useless beating yourself up because of it… its feels bad yes ,i hate it when it comes to dragging my son out while everyone is looking at u like ure a bad mother , dont worry about them ,everyone is going through some kind of storm with there toddlers it wil get beter , and i dont think she means what she says ,stil to young to understand the word hate
U doing great !!
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Co regulate your kids emotions! Physical discipline is disgusting
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I’m signed up to a parents parenting advice from my children’s school and I get sent emails every week. How I can deal with hard situations as I hit this point. I didn’t know what to do and since getting the help off tips etc my kids are slowly changing and getting better. For this week is about emotional support. I’m not sure if this will help. But it helped me. Whoever is this post. Feel free to inbox me and I can send some emails to yourself so you can also benefit off it. not every parent gets this help which is abit crap but I’m happy to share any advice I’m given too.
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I can’t really help too much but…I’m the type of mom u act out or how bad u act out u may or may not get the toy etc now if I was in that situation…honey …when we got to the car I’d whoop that ass …then talk to her after she calmed down n explain that’s not how we act at the store
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This is a completely appropriate time to place the child in the car and lock the doors and let them hash it out themselves.
Keep your keys in hand and remove any spillables/breakables, crack the window and let them rip. That way you save yourself the embarrassment, they cant run out from you and get hurt, and they bring themselves back down to earth.
You did very well don’t worry if your kids tell you that they hate you then you’re doing good …p. s. That’s not the only time that you are going to hear that sweetheart it does get better
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My thing is my son throws tantrums in almost every store or restaurant and people look at me like I’m crazy and then when I yell or smack him they look at me even more stupid like okay mind your business then next time 
Hell no. Why I will not have anymore kids. I’d beat the breaks out of them acting that way. But if my son does that, he will learn that day. Good luck.
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My daughter Queen of tantrums at that age. Took about 5 times of leaving store and once a restaurant with her and she figured it out. Also anytime she said I hate you I just responded with that’s ok because I love you enough for both of us
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Why be humiliated? You aren’t going to see those people again. And most every child does it at some time. But you did right. If she throws a fit, take her home. When she is calm, explain you understand she is disappointed, but throwing a fit is not how to handle her emotions. Small bodies, with big feelings are hard to deal with. So tell her how she can express her disappointment. You might also try telling her before you go in whether she will get something. Today we are just getting groceries, you aren’t getting anything extra. Today, you can have a book. Then stick to it. You are setting her expectations.
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OUUU NO. Not hitting you and pulling your hair. Nope.
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The first time my son ever acted up in a store I told him that kids who act like that in the store don’t get to go back… And also didn’t let him play any of his games for 2 days because of how he acted and also did NOT take him back to the store anytime soon… And now anytime I do take him with me to the store I give him a lecture on how he needs to act and that he needs to hold my hand and how we are only getting certain things and that if he’s good ill let him pick out something for himself (a piece of candy or toy) at the end when we go to pay for everything… This works with him. He’s 5.
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- she isn’t a toddler 2) Talk to her. Find out what the real issue is bc something is bothering her.
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She’s only 4, that’s a really hard age for kids. They want to be independent but they are still too little, they have big feelings they have no idea how to handle or work through in a healthy way. I know tantrums are the MOST frustrating but its our job to show them how to work through these emotions in a way we want them to model. Give her words for her emotions “I know you were very sad and angry that we couldn’t get a book today.” Be calm and remove her from the situation like you did. Stay near but don’t let her hurt you. Keep telling her “I know you are so mad but it isn’t okay for you to hurt me and there are only certain places we should scream. I’ll be right here if you need a hug or want to talk, but I can’t let you hurt me.”
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I remember mine once had a temper tantrum in the check out of dollar tree. She wanted a stuffed bunny. I just ignored her and occasionally told her to stop. (I would have left but I needed what I was getting and didn’t have time to come back) It was so bad that a homeless man who solicits outside ask if he could buy it for her. I kindly thanked him, but said I don’t reward bad behavior. She was two. I explained that she wasn’t getting what she wanted because of how she was acting. That is the only tantrum I can remember from her… My oldest fell out in the floor one day, I walked away. I could see her, but she couldn’t see me. It scared her and she never did it again… I never entertained tantrums. I would talk to them and let them know that was they opposite way to get what they wanted from me. Never give in and get what they want to shut them up! It will only get worse.
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Ughhhhmmm spank that ass!!
Walk away from her and let her continue to throw her self. She will get up and follow you and explain I’m going to keep walking away because I will not let you embarrass me you can embarrassed yourself!
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