A bit of advice would be greatly appreciated

My fiance and I have been together for almost 4 years. We have a son together. We are not perfect but overall, we have a happy relationship. His family is extremely toxic. I found out his mother has been telling him to hide money from me. She’s telling him that my brother shouldn’t be around my son because he called a daycare to complain about mask mandate - which resulted in him being expelled. Apparently that means he’s a short fuse. Shes so toxic and always turns it around on me. I love my fiance but when is that not enough?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. A bit of advice would be greatly appreciated

First its your brother will it be your father your child shouldn’t see next? Ur bro had an right to express himself it didn’t go well but that has nothing to do with who he is as an individual. I just worry this is the start of what’s to come. Hiding money that’s a big no no.

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Um your brother did what?? :eyes: sounds like both sides have issues

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It’s best to cut out the toxic people as soon as possible. I know it’s easier said than done but you and your man need to sit down and discuss some boundaries. My husband’s family is a breed of their own and we’ve had to set some pretty harsh boundaries. It helps that my husband and I are on the same page with all of it. Good luck, I wish you the best in all of this.

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Why would your bro be doing that is my quest?? Sounds like boundaries need to be set both sides in this situation

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My question would be what does your fiance say to defend you? Or does he listen to his mom on these things? My future MIL doesn’t like me because she’s full of drama and acts like a teenager. But my fiance will also not stand by if she tries to shit talk me or anything.

You need to get away from the toxic relationship. Choose someone that will be good to you and your son. It sounds like like hes a mommy’s boy. It won’t get any better, It will get alot worse. Find someone that will be good to you and your son.

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Is he putting him mother before the well-being of his child and partner? Is he actually hiding money from you? Have you discussed this with him and he’s blowing up on you? I need more info on whether this is just an in-laws issue or if you have a partner issue. Be a grey rock to her. Def don’t let kiddo alone with her esp since her intent is causing the child’s family issues.

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Um… Looks like your MIL and your brother need to mind their business.

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Sounds like both sides have issues. I’d cut both out and just focus on your own family. So I suggest you both talk about doing that

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My husband is afraid of his mom. So I told her off myself. Our relationship has never been better :woman_shrugging:

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My mother in law was toxic as well and her behavior is one of my biggest reasons for separating from my ex. They both fed into one another and I no longer felt safe. Be wary of the family you marry into.

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Sounds like the mother in law and brother both need help.

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If u have to ask,u already know the answer follow your heeart

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Your soon to be husband needs to act like he got a pair and set some boundaries. 4 years and engaged and with a child and he still hasn’t MARRIED you yet??? :unamused:oh boy :boy:but anyway dude needs to man up for real and put people in their place QUICK!!!

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ok… boundaries are important. In all honesty I think how much money you spend is relevant. It is her son! Of course she is going to care about his financial well being. Also that business with your brother is toxic. Your brother should never do that. Masks are great… making a child a tool in one’s political playing field is imo toxic by nature. I’m going to say you need to analyze your boundaries, be honest with yourself about everything and have an earnest family discussion or two. One that includes your potential MIL.

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No need to deal with her

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That’s very hard. Can your fiancé not speak with her about it? It sounds like a heavy conversation that needs to happen. My bfs mom is awful to him. He’s tried talking to her but she will not listen. It’s to the point he’s trying to seek counselling regarding it. Just because they are family doesn’t mean they should be in your life.

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Im lucky in that my husband came with little to no family, its my family thats toxic but ive cut those ones out and never allow any toxic behaviour to my husband from them anyways

Enough is now. If you don’t want to tell her to butt out of your relationship then your fiancé should. Nothing worse that a toxic MIL. Nip it in the bud before you get married or she’ll be a torn in your relationship forever :woman_shrugging:t3:

Your browser and your MIL need to mind their own business. And you and your fiance need to be a united front against them both.

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Yeah I noticed a lot of these type of letters on this news feed and now I’m wondering if they are fabricated by the author of this site :roll_eyes: just to get likes and followers

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You’re not married but want married status. I would instruct my children to not disclose every penny they have either. The brother sounds more toxic then the mama.

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I made a support group for survivors of DV and those who are still going through it as well if anyone is interested in joining.

Cut his mother off. Your dating him not his family. Tell him he can do what he wants but you and your children won’t be apart of it. My husband has a sister I haven’t spoken to in years bc I don’t like her.

His mom his problem. :scissors:

She is irrelevant in your relationship. Call her out on her shit then cut her off