A daycare worker was letting babies cry while she rocked her own child: Advice?

I went to pick my son up from daycare and I found a new teacher in the room with him that I have not met…the other two teachers who are normally there were on breaks so it was just her…this is the room that is 1 and under…she was rocking what appeared to be a 7 month old, while two other babies were screaming on the top of their lungs…come to find out the baby she was rocking ( who was not upset in any single way) was her OWN child and now I feel some type of way…i feel like she was straight up ignoring the babies who had clearly been crying for a while and now i dont know if i should bring it up to someone at the daycare…it made me a little upset and now I am concerned for my chils care…

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. A daycare worker was letting babies cry while she rocked her own child: Advice? - Mamas Uncut

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Definitely bring your concerns up with someone.

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Did u help her since there was no1 else? Common-sense… also I would alert hradoffice

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Absolutely bring it up. How are they to know this is a problem if they are not made aware of the problem itself? I would be nervous sending my baby there if that is what is happening. Especially if her baby wasn’t even upset, why would someone do that and be okay with 2 other little babies crying. It’s so sad. I hate how some people don’t seem to understand that babies only way of communicating is through crying. Ugh

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I mean you don’t know if that baby was upset before you walked in. Maybe it was and just calmed down. Maybe she just finished feeding it. There could be a lot of reasons. I’d keep it in the back of your mind and if you see it again then I’d say something but right now that’s not much to go off of. 1 person can’t help all the babies that are crying. I can’t imagine she likes to hear them scream.

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Bring it up, firm but Nicely. Continue to pop in unannounced and unexpectedly!

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I would def talk with head office, director, whoever in charge. That’s a concern to say the least

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Do some more pop up visits and definitely address it this is your child’s wellbeing

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I would say something I’d be pissed if I came in and it was my child , but I would also let it be known that there should never be only on teacher in a 1 and under class

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I would definitely express your concerns with everyone you can and I’d also if it happens again pull out your phone discreetly and record and I personally would see about maybe waiting for those kids parents to show up and I’d tell them and show them the video multiple voices on the issue will definitely get more attention

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Bring your concerns up…

This could easily have been a coincidence to be honest. But worth mentioning just in case. I wouldn’t just 100 percent jump to the conclusion though.

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I have gotten so much grief for not putting my kids in daycare but this is one of the many reasons I don’t cause I would snap

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I will definitely talk to a supervisor about it, it’s unacceptable and a conflict of interest situation. Her baby should not be in the room she is assigned to work .

And 3 infants should not be watching by one person.

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Yes bring it up… and maybe her child was crying and she picked him up and he stopped… so many questions here BUT yes let someone know that having only 1 percent in the room is a problem.I.

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Good question! You should absolutely bring it up to the manager! Those poor babies

I worked in a daycare with my baby I wasn’t allowed to be my son while I worked there just because of this reason. But I wouldn’t do that I’d care for all the babies. That’s your job. Oh that’s not ok. She needs to be something else done.

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Umm I would be more concerned why there was only worker. Typically 1 and under are a one worker to 3 or so kids

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As a mother, who doesn’t say something right then, if it was as dramatic as you’re making it out to be? Why didn’t you ask “do you need some help?” Or “should I get someone to help you?” ORRRR “is this a normal situation?” Speak up in the moment. If it’s that off putting… idk that doesn’t make sense, or add up to me.

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Thought there was supposed to be at least two in the room at one time though

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Say something!!!

Those are someone’s babies
If my baby was crying cuz their hungry, needs a diaper or in pain and was being ignored and someone saw this
I hope they do the right thing and say something
Thank god a baby wasn’t in trouble and needed help

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I’d say something but her child could have been upset before the other 2 children. You never know what you missed before you came in

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Absolutely that needs to be addressed but it means new teacher not warning she already showed signs of neglect to children who know what she would do if she was had vengeance on her mind :persevere: people are just evil these days if you could hear or see babies crying for a long period of time you are morally required to say something not only for child but for the other babies well being as well :pensive:

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As an infant teacher, our ratio is 1:5 and it is very difficult to get to each baby at once. Maybe her child had been fussy, you can only calm one baby at a time when they get like that…HOWEVER! At my job they do not allow teachers to work in the same room as their child if it can at all be helped. For sure voice your concerns and let the director handle the situation or be a mediator.

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The only reason I sent my daughter to day care is because the place have cameras and I can see her anytime I want .

Definitely tell the director

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I also disliked daycare especially for babies everytime I would go tour all kids would be screaming

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I would absolutely email the director and tell them what you observed. Ask that that woman not be around your child without others being there.
Im so thankful I had the opportunity to not put my baby in Daycare.

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100% say something. Start recording if you see it again.

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I’d mention it to whoever runs the daycare and let them look into it. you have a right to voice your concerns you pay for their services and they should know things like that. you might be wrong but maybe you’re not wrong so I would at least voice those concerns to whoever runs the daycare so that they can look into it. The last thing they need is a daycare worker who is not doing her job correctly. Because it looks bad on them as a daycare in the business.

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So what do you suggest she out her baby down and rock your baby. You need to take your concerns to the head director and find out why they have one person with so many babies. Personally I would find a daycare with better ratios per child.

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The other child might have been upset before. I think the bigger issue here is why were two other workers on break at the same time? Someone should have been helping her… 3 babies & 1 adult, yeah, someone’s going to be crying… that’s just common sense.

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Bring it up!!! There’s also usually cameras in the classrooms now, so if it was the case, they will know!

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Definitely say something that’s unacceptable

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I would rock my own child too she can’t carry 3 all on her own give her a break

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A conversation with this teacher would clear this up. Communication is key

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Once you feel uncertain, take your son out of that daycare and place him in better care…

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It’s not possible to tend to multiple screaming babies. Some babies will scream just because they aren’t being held

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As a director I did not allow my teachers own children to be in the same room.

This is neglect. Talk to the Director asap.

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The one I worked at typically 1 teacher in each room…

If I needed one i waited till nap time so someone could watch…

Everyone napped at the same time so that wasn’t hard to get a break…

Maybe the law is different with more than 1 person definitely been a longtime since then…

I wouldn’t stress nor say anything might be how they run things around there…

I’ve been known to have 3 one year olds at the same time crying at the same time…

All needing something different…

I typically rock 1 crying while leaving the other two playing then switch out babies…

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So if it wasn’t her child it would be fine?

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i owned a day care center for over 30 years and if a worker had her child in my day care i would have that worker be in charge of a different age group, i would have a talk with the owner if i was you and if you still feel uncertain remove your child from the center

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Some babies cry themselves to sleep some mums don’t like thier babies rocked to sleep

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As someone who has worked in a 50+ kid daycare I can say that employees who had their own children enrolled were ALWAYS a problem. If their child is in another age group its less of a problem, but we would still have an issue where the mom would come into the room constantly & check on the child or step in to discipline because they don’t want another teacher to do so. I would talk to the director & let them know how you feel & see if this teacher could be moved to another age group that her child is not in. That’s usually what’s best for everyone involved because, like i said, its always an issue.

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Maybe she wasn’t on shift? Maybe you don’t have the exact facts. Perhaps ask some questions first.

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My opinion. No. Bc one you can’t prove it so it’s your word against here and 2 she will have am excuse of why she did it. It wouldn’t change anything.

This is usually what happens when employees have their own children there they care for them 1st

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Her child may have been screaming and needed nursing and maybe she was doing that before you walked in. Sounds to me like they are understaffed and overwhelmed. Maybe talk to the owner or director. Times are tough right now. There should be more than one person in a group of that age for sure. You can’t carry 3 screaming babies at once. Like I said, maybe she was trying to soothe her baby and feed it and the others started crying and she was trying to attend to hers so she could attend to the others who were crying and needed attention and just didn’t want her baby screaming along with the others.

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Babies shouldnot be left to cry EVER, once I had one child and two babies crying so I literally swapped them around so they all got a minute of cuddles each until another staff could be found to help me.
I obviously was soothing ALL the children at once.
Even if baby WASNT the carer own child I would be upset to see two babies crying and no one tending to them.

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If you’re concerned for your child’s care there, why wouldn’t you speak up? :thinking:

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Absolutely bring it up and let them know that it made you uncomfortable. If they do nothing, I would look for a new child care facility.

Protest the daycare and demand they fire her. Omg it was one incident maybe you should have offered advice in that very moment the amount of ppl who want to see others in trouble is crazy. Especially if it was only one time. How did you know her child wasn’t crying harder prior to her rocking. It’s easy to walk in and judge a situation most daycares have cameras ask them to check footage sheesh.

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I was in picking up my boys things one day and I had a new Montessori school teacher tell me that my boy frustrated her. He was in the class that wasn’t potty trained yet so under 2. I asked her if my boy frustrates her how is she around many children? I spoke to the school and they let her go. I paid way to much money for my kid to be unsafe.

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As a person that was in childcare for 9 years that’s the reason your not suppose to be in the same class as your child

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I don’t think 2 teachers taking a break and leaving a new hire in a one and under group was the wisest of choices either. You really need to speak to the director, in my opinion.

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Would you have felt some type of way if it wasn’t her kid??? Tff

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Do you honestly have to ask? TELL THE DIRECTOR ASAP!!! My question would be if they all act in this behavior!

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Definitely bring it up. It could be nothing but it could also be a reoccurring problem that they thought they dealt with. You never know until you ask. Hopefully it’s a miss understanding. BUT with this world the way it is and the headlines in news articles lately. I wouldn’t just shrug it off. It will drive you crazy. Trust me.

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Tell her boss. I hope they have cameras.

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I know taking care of children is her job ,but how you going to drop your kids of to people then complain about how you feel mistreated because she was taking care of her baby maybe if you were taking care of you OWN baby your baby probably wouldn’t be crying am the only one that thinks it’s weird that new borns go to day care ??

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:warning: if you feel that way you need to tell the office or them about this situation!!!:warning:

Maybe her child WAS crying and she was soothing it :woman_shrugging:
She can’t man 3 crying babies all at the same time
Is she supposed to ignore her child and tend to the others first?
Absolutely not
And honestly I wouldn’t want someone I’ve never seen before watching my child PERIOD

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Absolutely bring it up! You are your child’s advocate.

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File a complaint with management

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STAY home or have family keep your small children under the age of 3. THEY need their family… family takes the best care of them!

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You absolutely need to bring it to their attention

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Say something…YOUR PAYING FOR SOMETHING YOUR NOT GETTING…CHILD CARE!!!

Definitely say something

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Oh yes you should bring it up might be explanation but hers wasn’t crying. she should’ve been trying to console other two or ask for help , as new mom she wouldn’t want that done to hers . So yes that’s an issue.

As both a childcare educator and a mother with one of my children in the same room as me, and another in the room above, I can understand your concern, but want to say the situation may not be what you think it is. If you are genuinely concerned, mention it to the director. It is very common for educators to favour their own children if they work in the same room, however, it may simply be that all 3 children were screaming and she knew she could settle her own child quickly before being able to comfort the other 2, which may take a little longer. The other 2 may be crying if they weren’t familiar with her and didn’t want to be comforted by her. There are so so so many different possibilities of what could have gone on in the 30 seconds lead up before you walked in the room.
Like I said, if you are genuinely concerned, mention it to the director. But please don’t assume she was just completely ignoring and not caring about the other children because her child was there.

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I to am conflicted of a some what do similar situation. A few times I’ve picked her up and she’s had food in her hair… She quite isn’t herself at times as well… Especially the way the try and use laymen terms of how "she is ““acting out”” but not in them words they use. Idk if I’m overthinking the situations or not. Being with a majority of the time I know how she is when something doesn’t go right for her. Who knows what goes on at her daycare right…

I wasn’t even to sure if should’ve shared such information…

Sometimes it’s a tricky situation as you only see a snapshot of what is happening in that moment. I agree sending 2 people on a Break at once is not ideal however maybe she was the break cover person and the breaks have to be done in a certain time. If they are within ratio then it’s hard for 1 teacher to deal with 3 children who are upset at the same time. Just query it to management in a respectful way (hopefully you have a good relationship with the centre where your concerns are heard and respected) and see what the reasoning may be. It may have been a legitimate situation or just an assumption of an small moment in time

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They shouldn’t have left her alone. Maybe her child was crying but maybe not. One child would still be left crying cause she is only one person and can only pick up one at a time.

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I can relate to what your saying about the provider holding her own child etc, but that’s exactly what assistants are for. There’s no way for her to soothe 3 children at once although technically we as providers can care for many children at one time. As long as the children are safe & insight, if they are crying it is ok. Sometimes children cannot be calmed or soothed, so they have to self soothe at some point. Who knows maybe she tried everything she could. Another point is that the other workers were not going to be on break forever.

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Day care provider only has two hands…and they were busy…the problem is letting two go on break at the same time here…at least she wasn’t out side smoking a cigarette when you arrived… letting the whole room cry in vain…

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Please say something

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I would have brought it up with the owner and jump down the ladies throat

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If something is on your mind especially about your kid, always bring it up

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If she new why was she allowed to he alone. I have worked and many daycares and you need clearance that’s takes months before you can be alone w babies! And my so also going to the daycare and I don’t go in his room for this reason and if I need to I don’t favor him at all. That’s not right!

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I would bring it to you their attention when I was volunteering in the daycare they told me I couldn’t even have my own children in the same room because it’s distracting to both parents and child

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You walked In and saw one moment In time, you don’t know that she consoled her baby who had just calmed down and yours and the other weren’t fine until just before you walked in.
Obviously if
You have concerns bring it up but unless you see it on a regular I’d be careful jumping down throats or accusing anything

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I worked in the infant room of a daycare and all the babies were fed and changed and played with on a schedule and there was no comforting unless one got hurt or something. It was really robotic and it felt unnatural to me so I quit.

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BRING THAT SHIT UP!! Shit I’d wait outside till I found the parents and tell them what I saw. Those poor babies

Dhr has really strict rules for that age group. But just because the child wasn’t crying when you walked in doesn’t mean the baby wasn’t before. They can’t have more than 3 babies per worker though. It’s still worth a discussion. Maybe there was an explanation or maybe not. Still bring it up to the owner of the day care! They take rules seriously

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Her one could of been screaming and probably just settled down as you were walking in maybe she was about to put her one down to attend to the other 2, farout don’t jump to conclusions

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I would say something… because no baby should be ignored and crying. Be a voice for those babies. They shouldn’t be taking breaks at the same time if there’s more babies then one person can handle.

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Unpopular opinion is that teachers kids should be at different schools. The teachers natural instinct is always to favour their own kids. It is a natural thing. In my personal experience, kids who were at the same day care, schools and high school as their parents were the naughtiest, brattiest of the kids. Friends whose parents taught at other schools were better behaved.
I even recall being in the 3rd grade and having a teachers kid tell me she would get me expelled for something I didn’t do.

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Like I’d just ask her. Right then and there. You don’t have to jump down her throat or anything. You saw one moment in time when you walked in. Don’t assume before you have all the facts first, mama. But I’d definitely try to find someway to check up on this.

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Most centers don’t let parents work their child’s room for this reason.

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Not to be rude but first you need to find out why both employees were both on a break. She could’ve been ask to come in to let them go on break. Are only one was supposed to be on break an the other just left the room. The new gril could’ve been on break. She could’ve came to see her baby. It’s alot of answers that need to be answered. If your used to seeing the 2 others employees in there then you need to see why both weren’t in there.

As someone who has worked in childcare, babies cried a lot for various reasons and often you are unable to console them all at the same time. There is a chance she was rocking her child to put him asleep for a nap and she tried to calm the others first but they just wanted to be held as well.
I’m sure if you didn’t know she was holding her own child you wouldn’t have put a second thought to it. Usually it is 4 babies to one person and it is pretty rare they are all perfectly happy at the same time. Honestly I don’t think you can entirely prove the worker did anything wrong. That’s my least favorite part of putting your baby in the hands of childcare because it is 4 hungry sleepy wet diapered children to one worker. Like having quadruplets in a way. Childcare workers don’t get enough credit for sure

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You seriously here saying that !?
If I had witnessed that I would have recorded and said something ASAP ! I wouldn’t have left y til the director was involved.
Nuhh uhh . She should be fired .

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Of course you should report to the daycare director and to DHS.

I would definitely say something. Even just to the effect of her working in the room with her own child. Most daycares don’t allow that.

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What if all 3 kids were crying at the same time? And she grabbed hers first to stop him from crying. She only has 2 hands, you can’t console 3 babies at the same time. Maybe she knew her baby would stop crying quick since that’s mom. And then she was going to grab another baby once one of them stopped crying? We really can’t judge what we don’t know.

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You are assuming that was her child and baby could have settled right before you got there

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I’d be more concerned with the fact that the other two workers for the infant room went to break together at the same time and left just one new worker by herself with all the babies!

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Yeah you should’ve spoke up for those babies

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Bring it up. If your gut is saying something is wrong then speak up. We are our childrens voices until they can express for themselves.

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