This is going to be long but I am desperate. Please read… My boyfriend & I have been together for almost 3 years, September is our anniversary. Our son turns 2 in August. We’ve known eachother our whole lives, if that even matters. Before I got pregnant, I worked at a nursing home & I loved it but then I got put on restrictions & they couldn’t accommodate me. Then I got a summer job at the amusement park until I was put on bed rest at 35 weeks. After my son was born, we said that I would get a job after 6 months. What we didn’t plan for was postpartum depression to hit me as hard as it did & I ended up having suicidal ideation, I thought I was going crazy so I wasn’t ready. He was not nice about it, he did not support me emotionally at all. Instead he hounded me for not getting a job, he stopped spending time with me & when I asked why his response would always be about me not having a job, which would start a fight cause I didn’t understand. So he changed his shift to swing, 2-10 for awhile. Then he quit his job & got a job working for Amazon. Since I had started therapy & gotten on medication for my anxiety & depression, I said I was ready to start working again. But his schedule wouldn’t allow that with him being gone from 8 am till 8 pm, sometimes later. & he still couldn’t really support us, we were always asking people for help getting food & diapers & wipes & baby clothes. I felt like a failure. I tried to talk to him about things but he’s so hard to talk to, he always gets defensive. Then he got tired of Amazon. Because of the lack of communication, lack of support in almost every way, the fighting & arguing. I couldn’t do it so I went to stay with a friend. He refused to accept that I left, he insisted we could work on things & that he was changing, he got into therapy & everything so I said we could work on things. I shouldn’t have said that because then he started finding excuses to come over daily, blew my phone up 24/7 & if i didn’t respond, 5 more texts would get sent. He got super clingy & jealous & needy, no matter how many times I said I needed space, he would make me feel bad about it & I’d end up caving. I got a job & I LOVED it, I was making my own money & felt great finally. He started working for the SAME COMPANY but a different location. Him coming over so much started to cause problems with my friend I was staying with, she wasn’t really supportive & instead kicked me out. I was forced to move back in with my boyfriend. Since I’ve been back, the sweet clingy stuff has stopped. We’re right back to where we were. I had to quit my job because of the location, it was a 40 minute drive & too much for me, I would have transfered but because he worked for the company at the closer location, I didnt wanna do that. I haven’t worked ever since (2 months) because he was fired from that company for failing a drug test when he tried to get certified for forklifts (that wasn’t even needed or worth the risk). He told me that when he got fired I could get a job & then he would get something to work around my hours. I got a job & just needed to wait 2 days for my background check & then could start. In that 2 days he managed to get a job that completely stomped all over the job I got, the hours would have been impossible to work with because of childcare. So I had to pass on the job, which I was super excited about. Now we’re right back to where we were before I left, the same situation & all. A friend of mine said this is abuse, she said that he did it on purpose because he knows that I’ll feel good having a job & he didn’t like that because then it means I don’t need him. Even though he’s not supporting me or our son.
Leave him, he’s abusive and very scary behavior.