A girl my husband dated in highschool dragged him for years: Advice?

I’ve been with my husband for 12 almost 13 years. A girl that he dated briefly in high-school had a child not too long after they broke up, hes 11 now. To make a long story short, there was never a DNA test done back then but she did tell him she knew who the child’s father was. They both knew he wasn’t the father as they hadn’t been together for months when she got pregnant. He was also in the hospital during this time for almost 6 months when she conceived. She stalked me for years, and a couple years back said she filed for a DNA test to be done. We never received papers and never heard from her again. She moved and remarried. About 2 years after that, we randomly received the papers in the mail for the test to be done. My husband tried for years to do the DNA for her to leave him alone, but she would never approve it. And they said without the mothers consent it couldn’t be done. He did the swab and a couple weeks later the results showed that he was not the father. Which he knew all along, and so did she. She even admitted it to me. But she said that she would not apologize as he should have taken the DNA test years ago, and it baffled me because he TRIED. AITA for being upset that she has lied to her new husband about all this and bashed my husband’s name for years. Made our lives miserable. I’ve tried to move on but it still bothers me. Not to mention what she’s done to her child and his biological father. I’ve probably missed a few details but this is short and sweet. Opinions?


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. A girl my husband dated in highschool dragged him for years: Advice?

Why sit and stew about it? It’s over. He’s not the father. It doesn’t matter what she tells her husband. And unless people are literally seeing your husband walk down the street and yelling out “that’s the dude that wouldn’t take a DNA test for years!”, then I’m sure no one cares what she has to say about the issue.


You need to move on. Don’t participate in her drama anymore. Think about how this will affect the child, who is older now.


Don’t be company to her misery. Move on and let it go.


Went through something similar. I posted the truth publicly up on FB with all the evidence and documentation so anyone who ever wants to know, can find it. She can’t stand it. If she’d stop lying to everyone, I wouldn’t have felt it necessary to leave up.


I would wanna be petty and drag her thru the mud too. However at the end of the day she isn’t worth it. Dont waste your energy on someone like that. Block her and move on


You can be mad but what good does it do honestly? Think about that. Does it change anything has happened all these years? No it doesn’t. It’s time for y’all to completely block her on everything and if she tries to contact you guys again then it’s time to have cops give her a little call and tell her if she doesn’t stop harassing you guys then they will charge her with harassment etc. it’s time to move on from this and not sit there and replaying it in your head daily anymore. If you can’t move on from it then I suggest you seek out therapy honestly


You need to move on as it’s only ruling your life nobody else’s. There is no need for contact or communication with her so block her


Just move on with your life. What else can you really do? Now that the test has been done make sure she is blocked from all phone numbers and social media accounts. Celebrate that her toxic behavior is behind you!


NTA but for real, get over it and move on. It’s her problem. Quit dwelling on it. You dwelling on it is keeping it fresh. And as for why yall finally received papers is that her husband is demanding she collect child support or she’s applied for state assistance so they require info to know who the dad is so she probably gave your husband’s to get them off her back. If he’s the 2nd person that’s been tested then more than likely she KNOWS who the dad is and is purposely not having him tested because he will try and take the child.


It’s ok to be frustrated but it’s time to move on. The test is done and you don’t have to have any contact with her any more.


Bluntly put - move on.

It’s over. It’s not your issue to deal with anymore and dishing out revenge isn’t going to make you feel as good as you think it will. You’ll become the problem.


Don’t give her another minute of your energy.


Block her, change your numbers, get a restraining order and stop being a party to her drama. HER DRAMA, not yours or your husbands. What we allow is what will continue. If you keep this back and forth and back and forth for ever she’ll keep it up.


Block her, ask your husband to block her on everything. There’s no point in giving her drama energy. Pray for her. She needs mental help.


Block her on everything. He did the test proving he’s not the father, no need to dwell in it.


Eww why don’t u guys just stop talking to her? Who cares what she says to her new husband (?? Am I missing something?) let her…


I’d just move on and be done with it. Who cares what her husband thinks. Your husband wasn’t providing for the child, hadn’t bonded with the child thinking it was his or anything of that nature so I wouldn’t worry about it. Her husband is nobody to you so it shouldn’t matter what she tells him.
She sounds like she has some issues and I feel bad for the child because I doubt he knows his real father but that’s something she has to deal with.


Chances are since she already knew the truth and chose to slam him for years anyways she’s not going to let it go I don’t like people here saying just give up move on no she harassed these people for 11 years. Now I wouldn’t go for eye for eye pettiness I’d go for a restraining order and sue for slander because that’s exactly what it is. Rumours hurt people your reputation was damaged. Make sure she doesn’t do this again


Well it’s over now right? I’d say let the past go, it’s a complete waste of energy. She should have absolutely no reason to contact you guys anymore going forward so just let it go and move on. If she contacts either of you again file harassment charges


I think there are bigger things to worry about. It is not your concern about the relationship between the child and the biological father of the child. It’s over. Move on. Don’t live the past


Sure, you can feel any way that you want about it but what good is it going to do? It’s the past and there’s nothing you can do to change it. It happened. Block her and move on with your life. Don’t sweat the petty stuff.


There comes a time when you need to relinquish such things from your life and now is the time to drop and block this woman from having any more “control” over your and your husband’s lives. She doesn’t deserve any of your energy that you could be putting towards more productive things.


She’s clearly TA.
You don’t need her apology; she’s not sorry.
She’s just finally decided it was worth more to her to have the “should have done it years ago” talking point since she wasn’t getting mileage out of “deadbeat dad” with you guys anymore…
Thank heaven it’s not his kid…that poor baby, though…

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Sounds like it’s a done deal. Either way, the test was taken, he’s not the father, and there’s no further need for contact. You need to move on with your life, because the issue is resolved and there’s no need making yourself miserable staying in the past when there’s absolutely no reason for it


You’re valid to be frustrated, pissed off and irritated but it really serves you no purpose when all is said and done… let it go, the truth has been proven, move on with your lives


she sounds toxic… best to keep it moving and leave her in the past.


Of course you’re in the right for being mad but don’t let her control ya’lls life. She’s toxic and psychotic.

Your best bet is to block her on absolutely EVERY platform, block her number(s), and be thankful she moved away.

If she ever attempts to make your guys lives a living hell or bothers you in any fashion you can take legal action.

Sounds like time to try and find your peace.


Not the asshole to be angry but… at this point you need to make peace with it and let it go. Move on… don’t let this consume you. Pray for the child and just move on. There will always be someone who will look at you as a villain.

Move on with your life… You are stressing yourself out over nothing you can control. It’s done and over.

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Only hurting your self Let it go

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Not the ahole, but just move on and let it go.

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Cut her off completely and stop giving her any attention.

There is zero reason she has to be involved with your husband at this point.

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You can now move on finally and block her on everything. Anyone close to you guys know the truth.

If she ever contacts you dont reply or send her a copy of the dna results everytime :rofl:

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Who are you trying to prove your NTA to tho? You get to chose what you do with your energy. If you wanna dwell on something and waste more of your life on her thats your choice but there are prolly better things that will make you happier

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Tell her to fk off & go on with life - don’t waste energy …

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Currently dealing with the same thing

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Been there.

  1. the girl admitted to us as well she just wanted to try to break us up. We ended up changing our numbers, emails, and even moved so we could escape her craziness.
  2. misery loves company so just feel bad for her and move on
  3. I really wanted revenge in some way as well, but karma got to her and her family. You have to remember as much as you want to put the truth out there yourself, there will still be people who don’t believe you and it’s just not even worth it. Those who know his character know the truth and that’s all that matters
  4. crazy ex girlfriends will try anything to regain what they know they lost. You have to let it go. Karma. Always. Wins.
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Just let it go and try to heal and move on

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Block the woman and move on.

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It doesn’t make you an ass, it just makes you not able to move on. Simply create a no contact order, make social media private, friends only and block her. Problem solved. Whooooo cares she trashed his name, the truth is out there. It’s not worth putting proof on social media because that could impact the kid. SHE is obsessed, not you. Let it stay that way.
It was hard not to move on for me when a woman my ex husband put my kids in danger and did some foul crap… I told her it would be hands on sight (separate states) …. I haven’t spoken to either one of them in years and my GAWDDDD it is wonderful! I don’t even feel totally mad anymore. Can’t say my reaction in person but I have NO reason to travel across the country so she can just kick rocks. Karma is a bishhhhh! Trust me. Someone I know who did some foul stuff to us, their lives are falling apart and now they have a serious back injury and is getting in trouble with the law :grimacing::grimacing::woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging: oh well! Let the other people sit and wonder if you will retaliate and such, that drives them nutty

Get over it, live your life

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She’s miserable. Block her, move on and be happy.


You can be upset, but it just hurts you. She is who and what she is. Everyone has proof now. Try to move on.

I’d move on it’s over annoying yes but it’s now in the past leave it there and move on.

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Block her. Let go of her power over your emotions. This chapter is over. Your relationship will improve. Holding onto anger is never good.

This issue is done move on and thank the heavens its NOT his kid . :pray:

Just move on and block her in every aspect. If she continues to be an issue now that it’s settled and she has no reason to contact either of you call the police to find out what you can do.


You’re NTA for feeling this way. She’s being petty and stupid. Yall need to block her everywhere and have your family and his block her if they’re her friends and set yalls stuff to private. Change numbers and if you get any mail from her (unless it is something to do legal which you’ll know the difference) and rip it up. Ignore her as well as your husband. The more you don’t let her antics bother you the easier life will be and you’ll realize how pathetic she’s being. Also, she may have signed up for state help and in some states, they have to know who the father is and request her to get paternity if she has any inkling on who it is

Just keep copy’s of all paper work and if anyone asks show them he’s not the father and tell them to move on .

You CAN be upset, but honestly, where’s it gonna get you? Be happy it’s finally over and move on in peace.

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With that much nightmare goin on you should insure that your genetic information that you gave up for her charade hasnt been shared and was destroyed after the test, there is no limit to the evil things people can do with your DNA samples including incrimination

Honestly, it’s done and over with.
Hanging onto that anger and that negativity isn’t good.
Let it go.

Just be supperrrr thankful it’s not his kid and now finally move on block her and get away from that physcopath

Welp now its out and she can move on

If you’re looking for an apology from someone like that you’ll never get one. Save yourself the time and move on


Just be happy the nightmare is over and move on. more important thing’s in life to worry about

Thank the lord your hubby is not the daddy and move on! Karma will take care of things

Move on. You have the answer you already knew anyway. Just move on. Don’t engage with her or with people that bring it up. Just move in. Not worth it to give her more of your time even just thinking about it.

I’d just be happy its on paper and she is out of your lives for good! no point in dwelling on it, only hurts you! Just close that bad chapter and be happy you no longer need to deal with it!

it won’t change her from being the trifflin baby momma that she is. she is toxic and evil and you cant fix that. move on and be happy and block her.

I would feel relief then bothered by all of this. If it doesnt bother your husband any longer then why is bothering you. She knew he wasnt the father already but probably wanted to prove a point to somebody else. Im sure she once wanted him back and the real father wasnt in the picture and she was hoping he was

You keep talking about how this ex girlfriend should have moved on for years and how she has dragged this out. So why now that you have the DNA tests and it’s over finally, are you still thinking about it and needing attention or reassurances.?
The ex is sad and pathetic. Ty he best revenge is being happy and living a good life. Be done. Move on.

Just be glad your not married to her

Let it go and block her.

Let it go…. None of this is your issue!!!Dont make it yours!!! too much unnecessary drama

How long ago did he take the test? Boy is 11 now. According to your post, she got the test done when boy was two? So you are letting her live rent-free in your head after all that time?

It’s over now. The best things everyone can do is let it go and move on. No sense in letting something you can’t do anything else about fester in your mind. It’s bad for your mental health.

Let it go……he’s not the father so you don’t need to even think about her ……don’t let her take up space in your head

Just stop letting her live rent free in your head.

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Move on. It’s time to put the past behind you and move forward. What good does it do anyone to hold a grudge?

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#admin. Please remove Marlon Carlos…

Not your drama anymore. Move on. You’re adults. She is not your issue anymore.
Move on. Who cares what people say about you or him? Do they pay your bills?
One more thing-move on.

Move on sweetie or she’s still winning.

Let it goooo. You’re only causing your self unnecessary unpleasantness.

I can’t like women who stalk and you have the right to be mad

If she’s doing it on social media have your husband post the DNA test that proves he’s not the father.

Well it’s over now and there is nothing you can do but put it behind you. Obviously she didn’t know for absolutely sure or the other guy(s) didn’t match so she decided to be sure. What’s done is done so move on now. :woman_shrugging:t3:

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Let. It. Go.

This woman sounds unbalanced and unhinged. Yes, the whole situation sucks, but your husband knew he wasn’t the father. There is zero reason for him or you to have had any kind of contact with this woman over the years.

Had she thought the child was his and attempted to file for support, a court would have ordered paternity testing and it would have settled there.

This woman has gotten to you and your husband because you two have allowed it. I can’t see any reason at all for either of you to have contact with her.

Beat thing you can do is just move on and accept the fact that some people are just crazy and miserable

Don’t worry about it. She looks dumb af now so that’s enough punishment on her :rofl:

I’m not sure what your asking because it is over.
Break all ties
Don’t respond to anything she does and don’t even discuss it with anyone.
Your husband the same thing.
Let it go
You are keeping it going
She harasses you don’t respond but call the police and let them deal with it.

let it go, It’s not yours or your husbands problem.

Well his ex is an Ass. Don’t give her any attention. Cut ties and b done

Stay far away. Thank your lucky stars it’s not y’all’s problem anymore.

Ain’t his kid, ain’t your guys problem, be glad it’s over and just block her in the past. Now anything that happens is just straight out harassment, it will always bother you, but now you have the power to leave it in the past where it belongs. 

Maybe it’s time to ask a lawyer for advice

You proved he isn’t the father move on and cut all contact

Nah she’s not worth another second of your time now it’s on paper litter Facebook with it if it helps but she needs to stay where she belongs in the past…

Let it go. Not worth it!

Move on and let it go.

She’s nuts, just move on.

Let it go and move on. Everyone has their answers, it’s time to let it go.


She sounds like a crackpot.

Gerl….move on.
You are giving her and her drama too much energy.
Don’t stoop


Do we know who dad is?

Not she’s a complete POS who gives good women a bad name.

It’s over with. So move on

Tell her ass if she wasn’t being a THOT then she wouldn’t have to chase guys to get a DNA test done knowing the fact that he wasn’t the father in the first place