not sure who else to ask. My husband is the bread winner in this household. I cook and clean and take care of our son. We are okay with that. What I’m not really sure about is my husband has a work friend that keeps asking to set up playdates with our son. With just HER and her daughter. Normally my husband texts me when he’s off work and heading home. Which is 8:30-8:45 pm. Lately it’s been 9:00 pm before he gets home and when asked what took so long he says he got to talking with her in the parking lot. She has made the comment that she wishes she could find a guy like him. I am conflicted on what to feel. If it is something I need to worry about. I don’t even know what I could do. No bad things about him. He is a wonderful person.
I would make it clear to him this is getting inappropriate and it’s time to set a boundary. So you’d appreciate it if he’d start making that effort to keep it professional only, or there’s going to start being some issues. He’s can include you with the play dates, or it can stay professional. But if you’re not comfortable with that, you don’t have to offer that
If he was a wonderful person he would have already made it clear to her (and you) to that nothing is going to happen, not make you feel insecure to the point that you are now posting on social media asking for advice about it.
Your husband is being truthful with you set up a playdate and go with your husband trust is so very important. In a marriage, and whilst on the play date make it clear to her nicely that the three of you come as a unit big hugs
I would speak your feelings, but really all that matters is how he responds to her. If he makes it clear that he has you and such like that, then I’d take a deep breath. If you trust him, then no worries
What you should do is sit down and have a conversation with your husband about how you feel about his coworker , the playdates, her comments etc etc. if you don’t tell him he won’t know. You should lay it all out on the table and talk about it. one of two things will happen you’ll resolve the issue , or you’ll come to realize that there’s an issue.
This is how it begins. Be watchful.
If he’s a wonderful person then you have nothing to worry about
I’d be in the parking lot when he got off. I definitely think he’s entertaining her, and if not doing more already. Sorry but definitely getting the vibes that he’s cheating.
Also he can’t go on a ply date with a single female Evan if platonic on his part mite lead her to think ah this is nice an step it up , by all means 3 of u go , an he’s also telling u about her so that seems to be good thing for now , x
Is she requesting playdates without you, or is she just requesting playdates with someone who has made themselves available as her friend without making any attempt to bring you into the situation?
If she’s coming onto him he’s not being firm with his boundaries, an is letting her think could be a chance , fair enove every so often have a chat catch up but not everyday , he mite start think grass is greener of course he’d regret it an run bk but damage is done , however nice he is he still has a duck an that has brain of its own sometimes , xx
He sounds honest for the most part. I’d trust him until he proves that you can’t. Her on the other hand… she’s making moves.
You need to say no to okay dates if your not their and tell him how you feel. Xx
Definitely no play dates without you their. What is he doing talking to her all the time after work? Red flags
He needs to shut that down. He’s not that good if he hasn’t already shut it down. It’s not your place to have to do it. If he respects you and your relationship he wouldn’t of let it happen
Tell him that it bothers you. I would be there when he got off, too.
NO!! ABSOLUTELY NOT! AND HE needs to shut her down. Period.
You just need to tell him how you feel. Having a female coworker is absolutely normal and a professional relationship isn’t an issue but you’re not comfortable with him having a personal relationship with her. I’d ask him to leave “her” at work. Some people see a new friendship with the opposite sex as no issue but when he’s putting himself in that situation it’s a big risk that extra feelings will develop on at least one side spending close alone time with someone new. Best to avoid it in my opinion.
She’s flirting and he either likes it and she knows this or he’s too polite to put her in her place and say it’s not happening. He needs to stop encouraging her, even if he doesn’t think he is and is just being polite
This is wrong. If she wants play dates then you should both be invited if you’re both available. I feel like she has feelings for him and making moves if he’s staying late chatting and if he’s accepting these play dates then he is making himself available to someone he knows has feelings for him which in my opinion the first step before cheating.
The whole situation is inappropriate. If it’s making you uncomfortable trust your gut. Talk to him and have him shut this down like today. Set boundaries or else this is going to get worse. He’s not respecting you by being a nice guy to her. Play dates, whaaaa!? He needs to change his job if he can’t get it together and put her straight. Sorry this is happening to you. It’s also a good idea to try to work and make your own money just in case.
Is she in a relationship??? Yeah nah wouldn’t sit well with me at all to be honest
No play dates, and no more staying late to chat/flirt. He should he making the effort to come home earlier, not later, and especially not because he’s enjoying the attention from a girl that’s clearly crushing on him, and trying to insert herself into his life. It’s called respect.
You’re feelings are there for a reason. Ask him to set up the playmate buy be very clear you will be attending. I thinknits fine for males and females to be friends. It’s not ok for their partners to be excluded on purpose.
He’s telling you about the offer for a playdate and chatting outside of work, that deserves some trust IMO. It seems he is just trying to be supportive but that’s a slippery slope that could quickly become something he may have no intentions of right now. I dont think her intentions are pure. Talk with your husband. Explain how this makes you feel. He’s allowed to have friends but they need to respect him and your marriage.
Our rule has always been you are either friends with both of us or none of us. Before I came along my husband had an extensive past. He’s gifted and picked up a lot of skills. And he’s very attractive. He also has autism so he can’t tell when they are flirting with him. We are very close. He has all he needs with me and when he figures out what they are doing he gets really pissed. Once at an event one came up and just started stroking his back. I waltzed over. I said oh no! Something is wrong with your arm! She said oh ! What. And I said it’s attached to MY husband. She hasn’t bothered him since. Lol.
If it smells like fish it’s fishy!
Your here… the problem is already there… the boundaries of respect are already being crossed and he clearly doesn’t really care which is sad …
She defo trying to get with him, think it’s a good thing tho he’s telling you all this and that he was late cause was talking to her it’s when he gets silent and stops telling you of worry
This is on him he needs to tell her you handle the play dates ask to give you a call. He being extra nice to her and she might be taking it the wrong way.
That would be no , sounds like he is already spending enough alone time with her . Soon it will get longer . And what do you think they will be up to while the kids play .
She wants to find a man like him ? Wait… what ? To me… that means she wants to move in on your man but at the same time… why is he entertaining that? I get that work is work and conversating with other co workers is inevitable. Average shifts are 5 to 8 hours … They had all that time to talk . Why is there a need to be chit chatting in the parking lot after ? For example… My shifts end at 8 pm and after a long day of work … the last thing I wanna do is stay in a parking lot with my co worker/s! Hope you know that your feelings are super valid and you need to have a conversation with your husband about how you feel. I wish you the best of luck
That’s red flags all the way I’ve never had anyone ask for a playdate and only my husband come to them it’s always been a playdate that I can attend to it’s kind of weird that she only wants him to bring your child to a playdate
He’s enabling her by not putting a stop to that kind of talk between them
He is obviously been honest with you telling you so dont think you should worry about it just yet x
Sounds sketchy to me. I wouldn’t like another woman asking to have play dates with my husband and my daughter without me. That’s a big no no and disrespect to YOU as his WIFE. That shouldn’t even be of talks. Period.
If he’s any kind of man/husband he would make the date and ONLY you and child go…him stay home… any friendship that you aren’t in is not ok
no play dates alone. They will start having their own. Sounds like you have to have a woman too woman talk with her. I would
Where there is smoke,there is fire. She is trying to get your husband for herself. Absolutely no out of office association is need,including playdates!
I would have been like ima drop you off and we can both set boundaries with her. The fact that he’s telling you says a lot & if he wanted he could lie bout staying OT or something but he’s telling you the truth so tell him to put her in her place or you will.
She trying to move in on yo man!
Absolutely NO PLAY DATES! And he needs to come straight home!
Trying to get your partner alone by using your child,red flag major time,tell hubby to say no
He needs to fix it now.
Hes entertaining it.
If he comes back with " your paranoid, your crazy, dont be so sensitive, stop being jealous" any of that
It says it all.
He needs to shut it down.
I would tell him how you feel and if he loves you he will ditch the bimbo
So from a males perspective, he is treading in dangerous territory since she is clearly in to him, it would be totally inappropriate for him to have a play date with her and her kid. If that was to happen I would let him know that you would be coming along maybe even be friends with her. Not saying your husband would take her up on the offer of crossing boundaries but only you can make that decision
No play dates , no chatting. It ends now . Her number is blocked and deleted out of phone: if he’s so wonderful he will do this and go as far as going to HR
sounds like she is trying it on with your man . the Playdates as she keeps calling them should be all of you not just him and her . trust your gut he sounds trustworthy but she does not .
I can’t tell ya what I’d do to this woman on facebook. But you could bet I would be in that parking lot when he got off work.
He’s cheating. Good men still cheat bc deep down they lack all empathy and are only wanting to magnify what they receive for their real or perceived needs, i would show up there and bring him lunch. Bring the son at lunch time. Make a point to try and befriend this other woman, she can’t be trusted either and if this stuff continues after you insert your face into her brain and she and he still entertaining each other without you walk away or let him off his leash bc this whole situationahip between them should have not been slept on when it started the boundaries needed to exist. He shouldn’t be getting close to other women, he doesn’t need chick friends, out of respect for YOU
No way is that ok! With you or not happening
Me I would take up your husband lunch to him at work as a surprise visit or meet him after work for a surprise visit intent to just meet her be like oh your the one that wants to do the play date with my son and your daughter well I need to check my schedule but we’re all really booked up and don’t I have the best husband in the whole world I love him so much he the best and I heard you wish to have a man like him good luck finding one and glare at Hera’s you kiss your husband but that me
No bad things about him? Honey he is entertaining her….they both are being sketchy as hell and nothing about this is ok….you need to have a serious talk with him and if he even gives you any issues about her you have your answer…
Girl you ain’t stupid trust your gut hun. None of that sounds right to me.
Wow 15 minutes 8:45 to 9:00. He’s telling you everything and not keeping secrets from your post. Get worried when he start hiding ish until then take a chill pill. Another thing stop listening to these bitter Bettys on the internet’s they will have you all ucked up.
She’s trying to bang ya man. Tell him to knock off after work chit chats and there will not be play dates. Some women have no shame SMH
Nah, that’s disrespectful. If there’s nothing to hide there’s no reason you can’t be there.
That would be a big helllll no for me!
Both they asses!
I think I would have to be waiting in the parking lot after work and put her in her place real fast. I would also let your husband know in front of her it is no more talking going to be going on between them .
She’s clearly on cheap drugs…like wow playdates with the mom being there
SET YOUR BOUNDARIES ON THE ISSUE AT HAND NOW!!! TELL HIM! If you feel bad or uncomfortable, tell him, shit, TELL HER!!!
She’s trying to move in on him. It doesn’t sound like cheating but he either likes the attention or doesn’t want to be mean to her, but either way it needs to be nipped in the bud. Play dates include you or they don’t happen & no chit chatting after work. Whatever they didn’t talk about during work hours can wait until the next day.
All you can do is tell him how you feel and be honest. The fact that he’s telling you doesn’t mean anything because he’s the only narrator. He’s entertaining it and it could lead to something else. What is troubling is that it’s even a conversation. It should be an automatic no.
Plant drugs under her car call in and leave a anonymous tip then sit back and watch the chaos.
She can come over YOUR home for a playdate! See how that goes bc this is on a bad track to mistakes and irreversible damage
I’d be pissed if my husband spent 15 minutes talking in the parking lot with her often I’d set boundaries and no way I’d let my little one with her without me
I’m a strong believer in following your gut instinct. He may be a lovely guy, but if you’re not happy you need to talk to him about this! I personally wouldn’t be very happy in that situation! It’s just weird how she doesn’t want tou there… and doesn’t seem to have any issues with making that clear!
Show up when they get off work to introduce yourself! You can check out their vibes for yourself and maybe it is truly harmless. But also just have a sit down discussion with your husband about how it’s making you feel.
How do you know she isn’t inviting you to join? Like what is she saying to your husband? Let’s have a Play date but don’t bring your wife?
I would tell him to invite her over for the play date. Get a real feeling for this person’s intentions. Watch them interact. If he’s not willing to be social with her in front of you then there is something else happening. Wonderful men, are still men.
I’d get a part time job, make new friends, and stay later than I need to.
Uhg. I was going to say it’s likely platonic until she said “I wish I could find a guy like you.”
He’s honest and telling you everything, tell him how this makes you feel?
I’d tell him what it sounds like to you. Just because he wouldn’t do anything doesn’t mean she wouldn’t try it. I definitely wouldn’t be doing play dates without me there either
Mr. Wonderful should know better and put you and your feelings first. He wouldn’t want you to do this to him I’m sure.
I say you let him schedule that play date and you just go with him. lol
Invite her over. Meet her. See how he treats her with you in the same room.
Be honest. Tell him how you feel. Definitely don’t get bulldozed tho. Don’t let him make you feel ridiculous because your jealous and concerned. If he just brushes off your feelings then speak up against that too. You are allowed to have feelings. He is your partner he needs to respect you and you’re marriage.
Hope she is in this mommas group and reads this! So, she sees how wrong she is
He’s not wonderful if she feels comfortable saying that to him.
How would he like it if you wanted playmates with another man ?
You need to tell your husband how you feel. Tell him that you don’t like that he’s chatting with her after work. Play dates without you are a definite no, and their relationship needs to be 100% only about work.
Remind him that if the tables were turned, he wouldn’t like that. If he’s such a great guy, he’d understand your boundaries.
I’d be setting in the parking lot when he got off to watch what really happens while they out there!!
A woman knows. Follow your instincts. …
He is being honest with you. He needs to know it is upsetting you, as it should! He also needs to set boundaries with her. Work is work, out of work he needs no interaction with her
SET THE TONE GIRL SET THE TONE!!
She’s playing you for a straight fool!
Intimacy starts in the brain for everyone. I would make it a point to let them go for a play date and show up uninvited. Feel it out.
Ma’am, he is your husband…not her. He has to protect that vow he made. If he is entertaining a woman, you should focus on him and what he is seeking. Talk to your husband and let him know how you feel. If he continues to make excuses as to why he chooses to spend time with her and NOT you. Then you have to make the best decision for you. He has already seen this woman 8 hours. That is plenty. Maybe self- evaluate as to why he may not be in a rush to get home
Men are not very bright sometimes…this woman sees him as a challenge…the hunt is ON! And she may even think it’s funny to get another woman’s husband…take the man from his little stay at home wife! Red flag, sweetie. She is flirting with him, after work and during work. He may…just may be reciprocating. She’s feeding his ego and he likes it, or it wouldn’t be happening every day after work. She is making her moves on your man.
He needs to read all of these posts!!!
I hang out with my co worker and his kids. And we are just friends. We have been friends for 5 years. I know his wife finds it hard sometimes. But there is really nothing going on besides friendship. I’m friends with her to now. Took awhile though.
Nice guy or not,he’s a grown man he knows what appropriate and what isn’t,sounds like hes getting his ego stroked and he’s enjoying it
The stage has been set
The real problem here is him. He’s the one thats in the relationship with you. He should set boundaries without you having to tell him. If he’s not doing that, your feelings are because of him not her. She would stop if he made it clear. Staying in the parking lot to talk is entertaining him. Meaning getting home to you sooner comes second to her.
Coming home to his family should be the only priority after work. Time for a conversation and communicating about how this is making you feel. Your feelings should come first, no matter! If that doesn’t work- set up in the parking lot and observe!
Make some excuse of some kind and meet him when he is getting off… maybe pretend somehow you were close by , be there to surprise him … and her and present your alpha personality in a confident way and go eat out somewhere … some men ( please don’t take this the wrong way ) need that extra attention … and she may be giving him 15 mins of that as they walk to their car … don’t allow her to do that and absolutely No f#$king playmates with her … tell her to get her own life … GOOD LUCK and you got this !
Nip it in the bud or it will grow!!
I was going with platonic until she said she wants a guy like him … talk to your husband put the shoe on the other foot if it was you how would he feel … woman can trust there man it’s not always the man and he is coming and telling you these things so I’d talk to him flip it and see what he thinks … if he gets all defensive about her and her comments and play dates … then my love you have a problem and she needs to go! Best of luck there’s nothing worse then the unknown
He wouldn’t want a playdate between you and another male. Same thing. And you need to let him know, that she likes him, and that he needs to set it straight before boundaries are crossed and it never goes back.
If he’s going to cheat you can’t stop him and maybe she’s not comfortable with you because she does not know you.
If you trust him and want your kid socialized let him go. The more you jump and nag the more he will start hiding things.
Well first of all, any problems within your marriage need to be resolved with the person you married. So a conversation needs to be had with your husband.
Secondly, men truly have no idea what’s going on half the time and only know things when we flat out spoon feed it to them.
And finally, after speaking with your husband and discussing it, reach out to the woman so she gets the point. If your husband tells her while still maintaining professional since it’s a place of work, she may not get the point. Some women are not women’s women, if that makes sense. Lol. She clearly knows he’s married and she may not be respecting that boundary. On the other hand, maybe she is actually a good person and just doesn’t realize what she’s doing.
Either way, this starts with you and your husband. If he can hear you out without getting hostile and also respectfully have this particular conversation with the other woman, I can assume there was never an issue to start with. But, his reaction will also be based on how you approach him. Don’t blame, don’t assume. Be calm. Remember this is not you versus your husband. Marriage is you and your husband versus the problem. Act as a team.