So I’m an FTM unfortunately rather young I’m 15 & my child’s father is 18. We never really had fully committed serious relationship but that’s cause nobody really knew about us just recently when I had my daughter I figured we would get serious cause we let everyone know the birth of our kid I want a family & he doesn’t want the title " in a relationship" but every time we’re around each other we seem like the perfect family I try to do my best to keep him happy in the hope of becoming a family. My heart is tired of being confused, but I don’t see myself with anybody else but him should I just give up? How?
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Hes not worth it trust me dear
Focus on you and your baby. He wants whatever you can give him, and still have his freedom. It doesn’t work like that.
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There is a reason he wont commit id sit down and have serious talk. But personally id leave it usually never gets better.
You need to focus on that baby and not your man child.
Since you are young, focus on you and baby. Focus on finishing school, focus on providing for baby.
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I was 15 when i had my oldest son. I’m 22 now. Its up to you honey. I was with someone that i thought would always be with and couldnt see myself without. He was a nightmare.
Do what your heart tells you.
Im happy now with my new husband and we have 3 amazing boys.
If you ever need to talk dont hesitate to text me love. I’m always here
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Just focus on you and your baby girl, shes all that matters 
Girl you shouldnt have to beg anyone to be with you. Let go and Let God.
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You need to focus on you and your child. If he cared about you or loved you at all he’d want to be with you.
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Take care of you and that baby. If he hasn’t stepped up to the plate by now then chances are he’s not going to. Just focus on you, baby and school. I had my first at 16 so i understand where you are right now… But i promise you walking across that stage to get your diploma will be the most amazing thing ever! You can do this with or without him in the picture. Have faith. You got this.
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Focus on you and your baby.
And to be honest, he’s 18. Legally an adult, you’re 15 legally a child. He could potentially get in a lot of trouble for that. So I can kind of understand not wanting to make it “official”
But also, you’re both so young, just because you have a child together doesn’t mean you need to settle down together. As long has he’s helping with the baby don’t push it. You’ll find someone right for you. 
Go to your court house and seek out the office that helps you with the parenting plan process. Look up options and advice as how to fill one out so your rights are protected. Ask him to sign it or file it with the court without his signature and have the judge rule on it. Trust me, you don’t want to play with parents who are wushu washy
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You’re 15. You’re still figuring your life out. Focus on you and baby and if he doesn’t want to be in a relationship that’s okay.
Usually when a guy doesnt want the label of in a relationship it is because they want to still mess around. Forget about him, I know easier said than done. Your best bet would be focusing on your baby and finding someone who cares about you and only wants to be with you
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Maybe he’s not as mature and ready for commitment as you? Maybe you can back up a bit and just be close taking care of your child together and he may change his mind later. Or you may change yours. Don’t push it. That won’t work. Never use your child against him. Good luck to you.
Your 15. He’s 18, if he wanted people to know about you he would of told them. Stop focusing on him and focus on your baby and school. If he wanted to be a family with you, he would have, you wouldn’t be wondering. Sounds to me like he wanted 1 thing from you and he got it. If he has a job go after him for child support. Your baby is your family.
Give him up, it may work out in a few years. The age is probably a big problem. You’re too young to waste your heart on boys - I’m speaking from experience. This will feel like your world right now but as you get older you’ll realise and hate how you wasted time on him. I can’t make you listen but I wasted 14-18 on my first boyfriend, we nearly had a baby together but it didn’t work out. Just concentrate on you and baby, have a good life together…get an education, a job, a home.
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Focus on the baby and you. Dont worry about him.
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Usually when someone in the relationship doesn’t want the title it’s because they want the freedom to do what they want/when they want to however you are expected to only be with him. He will try to use excuses like he isnt ready for a relationship but if he truly wanted to be with you he wouldnt put you in a position where he could lose you to someone else. It’s very controlling and toxic. You need to leave and focus on doing better for yourself and your baby. Think of how you would feel if it were your daughter in this situation. I know it’s difficult to face but you have to be a role model for your daughter and realize that you deserve so much better.
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From experience, save yourself the heart ache. Let him be a dad. But he isn’t ready for the family title. I was 15 when i had my oldest. His dad and I tried, and it ended horribly. Focus on being the best mom you can be and take carr yourself and your kiddo. Dont stress over him. He’s not worth it.
Congrats FTM! Just Focus on you and your baby and finishing school.
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You’re young, so I know it’s hard. He’s not trying to be “tied down” I guess. But. I would let go. Focus on your and your baby. Maybe he’ll come around and maybe he won’t. You’re 15. You do not need a man. I promise you one day you’ll find someone who will fix your heart that he didn’t brake and love your child that he didn’t make. You have way to much time to be wasting on an 18 year old that is acting like a child. Sounds like you’ve grown way past him.
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He doesn’t want titles because he doesn’t want to be together. Focus on you and that baby.
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Put your baby and yourself first! Allow him to be there but don’t put so much effort into worrying about him. U guys are really young and unfortunately for him he has some growing up to do. Enjoy being a mother and love that baby! U never know maybe one day you two will be together again or maybe u will grow up even more and realize u want more in a man and want someone else. Regardless be happy and love that baby! Congrats!
Wow! I advise you think of going back to school.
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Ooh girl… I remember when i was 15 and i thought my world revolved around my ex. That he was who i was meant to be with and i didn’t even have a child with him, thank god. Let me just say, if you have his baby and hes not already wanting to be in a relationship then he wont. You deserve so much better, and the thought of being without him is scary but it’ll be better for you in the long run. I felt like my world ended when i broke up with my ex finally at 17 but it’s been 5 years since that awful time and im with someone who i love more than i thought possible. So just give it time and move on with your baby.
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I was a mom at 15, and i tried so hard to make it work with my son’s dad that i lost myself. If he loves you and wants a family his actions will prove that. Follow your gut instincts. Best of luck to you
It’s already hard being a young mother. This dude sounds like a child wich is why he likes to get with children. Focus on that baby because one day your child’s going to wonder why you picked unhappiness with a man over your child’s happiness. Also I would really watch out with him around the baby if it’s a girl. The fact that he went for a 15 year old got her pregnant then don’t want to settle and take care of fam just shows the kind of man he is.
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Finish school so you can provide for your daughter. File for child support ASAP if you haven’t already. Also, as the saying goes “they call back when you fall back”. Don’t chase him.
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I was 17 when i had my first child… Just focus on u and the baby, that is most important your baby and finishing your education please continue with your education…
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Just let him go. I know it’s hard but it will be better were you and for your baby. If he wants to be in the babies life let him but don’t wait for him don’t think he’s going to change he’s not he’ll never change he’ll never be faithful you’ll never be in a committed relationship because he just doesn’t want it and he told you that sorry I know that hurts but sometimes it’s better to hurt now then wait for years down the road and be hurting for a very long time. Good luck young lady sound like a good person hang in there if you don’t have no one to talk to talk to God.
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No bashing…but honey, have a solid talk with him and find out where his head is at. There is no such thing as a family of convenience…if he doesn’t want a relationship where he can fully commit to you, then it’s ok for you to co-parent as friends. You deserve to enjoy raising your baby and feel comfortable with your relationship, and that means accepting what he says. You can’t live with half way or maybe…you deserve to be happy, and that means reconciling this and possibly moving on to a relationship where you are appreciated.
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Getting pregnant & having his kid doesn’t keep or make a man. You’re not committed bc he doesn’t want to be committed. Men don’t let go of females they want. Yes, you should give up & move on. Work on taking care of your baby & doing well in school so you can provide for your kid. Work on seeing the value in yourself so you can see the douchebags for what they are.
When you blast someone on Facebook you are stooping to their level and it shows what kind person you are. You are better that don’t let him or her get to you.
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You’re 15, he’s 18. He obviously doesn’t want a family with you. Let that dream go, girl. It’s not gonna happen with him, he’s not ready. I got pregnant at 18 and was a single mom for 4-5 years. I’m 26 now and I’ve been with my husband for almost two years. You’re so young, focus on school, get an education, get a career. Focus on you and your baby. These boys and men really don’t give a fuck.
Been there done that, he doesn’t commit to you because he doesn’t want to. I would advise you to worry about supporting the baby in the future.
Not to bash at all. But you both are still kids. An 18 boys don’t always settle down at 18
You need to focus on you and your child. You don’t need a relationship or a boyfriend or a husband at this point in your life. What matters is your child. Finish school and work and make a life for you and your kid. Men come and go. But that baby is forever.
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You’re 15 he’s 18 you’re both still growing up to be adults, just because you have a child does not make you a grown up have fun grow up together and raise this baby together he’s probably scared just like any other young man would be. I know you were scared to death when you found out you was pregnant everybody handles it differently. I would say keep your relationship just the way it is doesn’t matter if you’re being labeled as in a relationship girlfriend, boyfriend whatever none of that matters just continue to grow and if he wants to be there with you that’s great you both can grow together and raise that baby. don’t worry about labels titles and pieces of paper. Let God handle it he makes no mistakes…
Just focus on the baby and forget about him. It’s going to be hard but you deserve to be happy and need to be able to give that baby a future with or without him.
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He’s not interested in u, he just wants to play house. Go back to School
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When people tell you who they are listen and believe them
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Focus on your daughter and NOT on a relationship… the fact he doesn’t want a title is your number one red flag…
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First things first, take care of you, be concerned with your and baby’s needs only. Seems he doesn’t want to commit and there’s nothing you can do to change that, he has to want that. This will be very hard but stay focused on your goals and make sure he stays accountable with child support. Try your best to separate yourself from him, I’m sure he will try hard to be with you when he wants but you must stay firm. This is a long haul Mama but you can succeed just don’t give up on living the good life and having the love you deserve from a good intention person.
Your young don’t wait for him just think bout you and your baby…
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You’re soo young. focus on you and the baby. Stay in school. You will meet some one who wants to love you and your child, not have too. in the future Find love , a family not one select it out if convenience. You have your whole lives ahead of you.
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Girl we have all had that relationship that we wanted so badly but the other didnt want to commit. You focus on you and that baby and the right one will come along. I know you want a happy family…but if he isn’t ready you cant make it happen. No matter how hard you try. Boys dont mature as fast as we do…it takes them longer to want what your wanting. Just be there for your baby and never speak badly of him. Your kid will need both of you but it doesn’t mean you have to be together. Ypu can love him as the father of your child. It will be difficult but know you are young and you will find the ONE that wants to be there for you and your baby! Dont force it…he will run. Keep your head up for that baby!!!
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i would let it go and move on with your life, yous can still co-parent. you shouldnt need to wait around for him if he wanted to be with you he would. i had my daughter at 15 raised her on my own. shes now 9! 
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In all honesty I wouldn’t stress about a relationship. Focus on her and your future. If he wants anything to do with her or you he will, dont force it. Trust me and all these other ladies, you can’t force a boy to do anything they dont want. It just hurts you and your baby in the long run. Don’t fall into the stigma of typical teen moms and become a statistic. Stay in school and make a good life for you and that baby girl.
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Hes too young honey… Ik its hard but if you push it on him then you will push him away. I had my oldest son when i was 15 an his dad was 17 almost 18. Girl long story short, i went thru hell , married the man an had two more kids an Now im 29 divorced single mom. Yall both will change as yall get older an want diffrent things. It sucks but boys take for ever to mature
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A man that wants to be in a dedicated relationship will never make you doubt it, will never make you question it, and will never reject accepting “relationship labels”. I imagine he is also young so you need to talk with him, tell him that you deserve a commitment from him. If he still is uncomfortable with it then just focus on you and your baby and dont expect anything relationship wise from him.
Well, that’s statutory… So
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You’re too young. Focus on you and the baby now it’s not about you anymore.
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You will hopefully learn to make yourself happy. Life is too short to let him decide.
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Focus on your baby. It doesnt sound like he wants the same things as you. Let him go and wrk on being mom.
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You’re young and have a whole life ahead of you! Dont waste it on an 18 yr old that still acts like a 5yr old. Been there done that. Dont waste your time. Not worth it.
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He may not want to be in a relationship because you are underage. He should have never slept with a child. If you were my daughter he’d be going to jail.
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People are going to judge you no matter what you do. I had my daughter at 16 and I’m 24 now but people still look at me sideways when I tell them how old she is. But it’s whatever. You are 15 so it’s kind of sad to hear you’re in the kind of situation. The main thing you need to know is that you cannot beg someone to love you and appreciate you. He’s 18 and hasn’t gone through his hoe phase yet. So he wants to be a hoe so to speak. He doesn’t want the title in a relationship because he wants to be a kid still. Yeah it sucks because YOU are still a kid and just gave birth. But you aren’t going to get him to change or be ready for the things you are ready for… But whether he is a family with you or not you have a child to look after now you can’t chase him down and beg him to be a father or a boyfriend. Focus on your baby and do right by your baby. If he comes around then so be it but it’s only going to cause you stress and drama and negative energy if he’s around when he doesn’t want to be.
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Finish school, focus on bettering YOU and YOUR life so you can give that baby a good one. You started young, but that should give you incentive. You haven’t screwed up yet. Don’t hang your hopes on some guy or you’ll wind up 30, with more kids than you can afford and no job history because you wanted a family so bad you never worried about what would happen otherwise. Please.
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First loves are forever in your mind and heart but rarely ever last. He told you he wasn’t interested and it’s about that baby now. Seek other help- get in school and college and be a badass single momma. Your heart will heal I promise but it can’t heal until you take away what keeps breaking it. Reaching out is always a good thing!
You’re 15 and he’s 18. Stop worrying about him and worry about your baby. Your baby is number 1. If he doesn’t want to be in a relationship you can’t really make him. With that being said all you’re going to do is stress yourself out.
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You are so young. Focus on yourself and finish school. Worry about becoming someone that’s able to provide for her daughter. Think of your future that’s what is important. Believe me 5 years from now that will be what matter not this decision about the baby daddy. You are going to be forever changing, growing, and learning❤
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I thought I’d never get over my first love as a teen, but you do, you’ll find someone better, you just need to realise your worth.
For now, focus on you and your baby - a crappy relationship won’t be a good environment to raise a baby and it won’t show your baby what a good, loving relationship should be.
Move on. If he was going to get serious a kid isn’t the way to get there.
focus on your child when your with him… and just live your life if it happens with him it does if you find someone else you find someone else… but just focus on the baby for now and trying to co parent … other things will fall in place where they are supposed to when the time is right…
He can go to jail if you guys were in a relationship.
No matter if it was consensual sex you are underage.
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He can actually get in a lot of trouble your not at the age of consent. So that is probably why.
Your young of course you only see yourself with him. The truth is he doesn’t want a “title” because he wants to freely see other people if and when he pleases. We have all be there he is your boyfriend but not your boyfriend kind of thing it sucks and can be heartbreaking. Don’t keep your daughter from him but maybe it is time to stop pushing the relationship and just focus on you. You need to get your education and make a life for you and your child if he decides he want to be in that life with he then give it a try but odds are against you being with him forever. I cannot stress enough to let him be in the childs life if he wants to don’t force it but let him be there it is only to benefit your baby.
I became a mother at 15 also and I’m now 31. So my advice would be to leave him and focus on yourself and your baby! Its going to be super hard but it’s worth it. Hes not worth it and at 18 he should have known better!
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I agree with others…just keep yourself busy with you and your child. Men come and go…you and baby are forever. Prove everyone wrong by doing your best to make sure you and your child’s life are successful.
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If possible, focus entirely on your baby. If this young man doesn’t love and respect you for being a good mom, let him go. Don’t think about making him happy…make your baby and you happy.
Hard to believe, I know, but you will get over him and be happier in the long run if you don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t love you equally. Trust me, I’m old. Been there.
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May I ask why neither of you were using birth control? Please do so in the future.
See if you can get some counseling to help you cope with the hard road you have ahead of you.
I’m sorry this happened, but focus on getting a good education and making plans for supporting yourself and your baby. Chances are baby daddy is not going to make great choices and be a good provider with mandated child support.
Being so young may give you a special bond with your child, so that’s the good news.
If baby daddy steps up and puts in the time and effort to be a father, great. If he ghosts for many months, you may want to look into going to court and declaring abandonment so you can get sole custody so you never have to see him again, though you would lose child support.
Bring as many loving and helpful people into your lives as possible. It truly DOES take a village to raise a child.
Best of luck. All us moms are rooting for you!
You’re young, you have so much more life to live & time to find the right man. As hard as it is just focus on that babygirl & school, keep your head up! Congratulations mama:heart: If you ever need someone to talk to you can always reach out:smiling_face:
Maybe because he should be in jail for sleeping with a child so doesnt wnat to risk it. You need to focus on your self and that child. Either way he isn’t ready to step up so let him step out. Time to be a mom and do what’s right for little one. Focus on baby,school, work etc .
Worrying about boys landed you where you are. Time to stop worrying about boys. No more sex. You can get all the love and validation you clearly seek from that sweet baby. You can worry about dating in 5 or 10 years when you’ve had time to develop and reach non-boy, non-family goals.
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Don’t stress, just let it be. If he wants to be a partner, he will. I was pregnant at 17, gave birth at 18 and fully expected the father would run. But here we are 10yrs and 3 kids later and still together. You don’t know what’s going to happen. Only time will tell. Just keep focus on your daughter and keep your head up
I had my first child at 15 as well and honestly I have not heard from the child’s father since. It took my son contacting him after he turned 21 and they still have no relationship. Concentrate on raising yourself and that baby cause you yourself still have a lot of growing to do yourself.I am 42 and still learning everyday
Girl I was in your shoes. Focus on you and the baby. Don’t waste time and energy on him. I know how bad you want it to work but don’t waste years of your life for him to turn around and be a man to someone else after you molded him into it. It sucks and crushes you.
Move on,if he doesn’t want to commit,you can’t make him. It will just hurt you more in the long run to keep going through the same thing over and over.
Why are you focusing on making him happy and not focusing on You?.
He is not going to commit lovely. It will hurt and hurt bad but you will get through it.
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Trust me no judgement i was 14 when i had my daughter. He doesnt want to be tied down but loves the family role when your around to make you think that it will happen. I would bet hes seeing other girls. Focus on school and your baby girl trust me the right man will come when time is right. I know its lonely but i promise its so much better in the end.
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Some of you all just need to stop. She asked a question.
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Focus on your baby…if he doesn’t want to “have a title” on the relationship but act like your in a relationship when family is around then there’s probably a not so good reason why. He doesn’t want to put a title on it for a reason… If I were you I’d back away from this “relationship” and focus on yourself and your baby…maybe he’ll change his mind…maybe he won’t. You both are pretty young so I really wouldn’t hold my breath on everything ever being perfect. unfortunately he’s most likely not your person…you still have alot to learn and you’ll find someone eventually that will WANT to shout to the world that he is in a relationship w you…I know you want it to be him but he’s playing games w you. Goodluck w everything girl…hope it works out for ya
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You have your entire life ahead of you still. Some people never grow up. As stated … just focus on you and your baby. ‘You can’t pour from an empty cup’ - your happiness is important. Don’t let any man steal it. Father of your child or not. He isn’t worth it.
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Don’t let him be the source of happiness. Focus on you and your child.
Him hiding you away isn’t a good sign. Don’t waste time worrying about him, you will meet the right man who will love both you and your child.
Don’t let anyone stop you from being happy
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Remember … 2 happy homes… is Always better then one unhappy home.
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Learn to love you, love it kid, life the loser, finish school and move on with life
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You’re so young, focus on you and baby and when it’s time the right guy will come into your life and want the family but for right now you are still growing and so is dad and it’s not likely that it would work out long term. Finish school and take care of baby, you don’t need the extra distractions of a can’t commit boy showing you down.
You need to worry more about your baby and yourself. If he won’t commit to you then you need to move on
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Your young not stupid, if he’s not ready- half ready or whatever. Your there and that baby is concern # 1,
You know him and sounding pretty confused and frustrated about him, the baby’s his also and he has rights
along with obligations, if he makes the choice of being in his child’s life with you, good if not you can’t make him ( pay only) so learn from it and move on. You and baby deserve better, a happy loving mother will raise a happier person.
First of all any 18 year old man who thinks it’s okay to date and have sex with a 15 year old girl is a Pedophile and pervert. He will never mature. Focus on yourself and your baby. He’s a loser.
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Believe me when i say,chances arw you havent even met the “longterm love of your life”. And trust me,youll have your dream family someday, but rn you have your baby and he is your family❤ hang in there, plenty if time still.
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Don’t give up. Let things calm down a bit. Continue to have baby daddy come see the baby & be as hands on as he can. Keep it friendly without expectation & see what happens.
My heart is sad for you. Move on as hard as it may be. Focus on bettering your life for your child. Focus on goals and not a man. You got this!!!
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Your young with a full life in front of you… Concentrate on your baby and getting your education. Co parenting is your best option. He doesnt want a relationship. You do whats best for you and the baby. Good luck
Nobody knew about you two because you both knew your relationship was inappropriate. If I was your mom I’d report this dude to the cops.
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Focus on your child… PERIOD
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Well, you’re young and you’re learning some life lessons early on. You need to give up on him for the sake of yourself and your child. It’s possible for him to be a good dad and for you to be a good mom and be single. Babies are a blessing, your life has changed for the better, but it’s going to be more challenging than your non-parent peers.
You do not need a man. Focus on school. Focus on getting an education so you can adequately support your child and yourself. That’s the best gift you can give to your child. Learn to be a stable mother and give up on the idea that an 18 year old boy who clearly states that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship will suddenly change his mind. He won’t. If he does, he won’t honour you, and you’ll set yourself up for years of heartbreak.
This is one of those adult lessons, but now that you’re a parent, you don’t get to be a child anymore.
Create goals. Actively take small steps to achieve your goals. Focus on being a good mother and a good student so you can get an education.
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Let. Him. Go. Stop trying to control the situation, and focus on yourself and your baby. This guy is very young and probably has no idea what he even wants. Unfortunately, you can’t make someone care about you or your child. Not even the father.
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