Don’t be scared to leave because of your kids, you need to leave because of them. They do not be growing up in that setting, the weed isn’t that much of a big deal honestly because I know many parents that do smoke, but he does handle it irresponsibly. its also not okay to talk to you like that & it’s not okay to make one child feel more important then the others. & why can’t your kids have their own space when they’re there full time?? Makes no sense. He needs to grow up. I would leave honestly.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Advice needed. Long but please bare with me - Mamas Uncut
Since you’re doing everything, why keep him around. Show his a** the door asap. Just another kid for sure.
You wait until he threatens you or the baby and you go and get a restraining order. It will get him out of the house and keep you safe. Depending on where you are, it will make it harder for him to get custody. You keep the RO on and don’t take it off for any reason. This saved my butt in court and I now have full custody. Start preparing now. Or call the police next time he is “suicidal” aka control tactic and have him committed or removed from the home.
Don’t let him sign the new babies birth certificate. Especially if he uses taking custody from you if you leave him.
They already live in a broken home! They are living with fear and anxiety and you are showing them that this is alright. If it is your home then he goes!! He has no respect for himself or you. God Bless
I would run , you’re already doing it by yourself , the stress will be non existent once he’s gone . Will be hard but you will get into a routine. I would not want to be in that relationship, you deserve so much more , a man that actually wants to be involved and cares and appreciates what your doing .
Girl hes living in your house, you pay the bills and provide for HIM. There is no judge in their right mind that is ever going to give him custody so unless he has some serious connections in serious places you have nothing to worry about. Kick the bum to the curb and see how much better yours and your babies lives get without the extra stress
If he’s gonna do things for his child from a previous relationship in your home but not the child y’all had together then he’s not worth it at all and you should kick his ass out the door. Sounds like he’s using you to make sure he has a place to stay for his other child to come visit.
You don’t want to live in a broken home. Sorry to say but you’re already living in a broken home. Your kids will soon feel the weight of all that you have to endure just to be able to say your kids have both parents. Your happiness matters and you’ve described nothing but toxicity. Kick his ass out! You will feel much happier and your kids will too!
Get a legal eviction started- since you’re doing everything anyhow there’s no point in keeping this fool around. If he wants to threaten suicide let him—- he won’t get custody — I wouldn’t worry about that
Kick his ass out he’s trash
Your saying you can deal with it but don’t want your kids to have to deal with it but your kids are dealing with it since your letting this bump boy act like that. It’s going to make those kids nervous and scared. Kick him out ASAP
It’ll be better for them to be somewhere they’re loved and stable and see you being happy. Talk to a domestic violence shelter, they have resources and experience helping women cover all their bases in these kind of situations. Once you’re out of that environment you’ll feel so much better.
Seems like your jealous of his first child thinking he does more for his child then yours.
Kick him out, get away from him asap and don’t go back. He can threaten going for custody all he wants, he’s just trying to control you.
Start eviction process on him seriously. Get a protection order cause I bet there’s more than verbal and mental and gaslighting abuse going on which is one reason why you won’t let him be alone with your child cause of his temper.
Steps to take:
Get protection order
File an eviction on him
File for custody and if judge wants dad in picture then request drug tests a psychological test and supervised visits
You cannot stay in this environment at all especially since there’s kids involved and it’s a safety risk at this point for you n the kids.
Start eviction process on him seriously. Get a protection order cause I bet there’s more than verbal and mental and gaslighting abuse going on which is one reason why you won’t let him be alone with your child cause of his temper.
Steps to take:
Get protection order
File an eviction on him
File for custody and if judge wants dad in picture then request drug tests a psychological test and supervised visits
You cannot stay in this environment at all especially since there’s kids involved and it’s a safety risk at this point for you n the kids.
I mean, the decision to have one kid with him is questionable, why tf would you go for a second?! Smh Move on, find some peace for you & your kids, period!
Detaching from him will help growth for you & your babies, be strong it’s clear you already are so use your strengths & wisdom…his mind games is draining & unhealthy for all involved,leave him honey💪
You’re already a single parent, time to make it official.
I have to ask what’s keeping you there? Honestly. My advice is to leave as soon as possible or have him removed from your home.
Get some therapy asap.
You are doing everything by yourself anyways. Kick his 
out and continue to do it on your own with less stress.
File a restraining order against him and kick him out. He sounds very abusive!
You are already in a broken home and your child is going to be emotionally stunted from you not leaving sooner
Go now before more harm is done.
Kick him out of the house ASAP. Your already doing everything yourself so you’re ready to be a single parent. You don’t need him in your life with him stressing you out by threatening to commit suicide, his temper and him not helping you with your all’s child as well.
He sounds like a complete FLOG!..kick his arse out and do those rooms up for your babies…you will be so much better off and happier, and your babies need you to be happy so get rid of him…
Seek legal aid…talk to a lawyer see what you need for your kids to show in court that he is unfit. Lawyer is your best bet and I wouldn’t have him sign the birth certificates at this point, he would need to pay for the paternity test and everything to establish custody first of all…at least in my state. Check your state laws but again best bet is a lawyer. You pay for mainly everything get receipts printed out showing you are the main provider and honestly get him out of that house, give your baby that room because it’s you and your kids, he’s done nothing from what it seems. Start calling cops whenever he starts screaming at you, leave a paper trail for courts.
Be scared if you stay not leave !!! 
Girl!!! Get it together!! you already told everyone you have been doing everything on your own raising your child while pregnant with the other. What more do you need?!? You already know what you have to do !! Kick him the fuck out your life!! GET CUSTODY OF YOUR KIDS and continue to take care of them. YES IT IS GOING TO SUCK, but do you really want to continue having your peace and your child peace messed up by a loser, low life of a man that can’t even help you in anyway at all? You are a mother first and your job is to protect your child including your unborn child from bull shit. So, just start making moves. No point to talk to his dumb ass. Go to court while he is gone and start making changes. Then when the time is right change the locks on your house and kick him the hell out. I rather be a single mother taking care of my kids alone then put up with a man and his bull shit. Especially while I’m pregnant!! Hell Naw… stress kills and he can end up killing you and your unborn child. Then what!!! What is going to happen to your other child if, you dead? Like it sucks but you going to have to make a decision. Your children or the man! And it alreadsy sounds like you tired of his no good lazy deadbeat ass.
Leave, as for him going for custody lol he signed 1 away he won’t get anything close to it, maybe visitation if he’s as pleasant as you say. And if that teen is harming the toddler I wouldn’t allow him there especially sleeping in the same room….walk hun , don’t walk
Get rid!! Kick him out and change the locks. He’s taking you for a free ride and enough is enough. If you feel it’ll get volitile then call the local police station, explain what he’s like and what you’re going to do because you’ll be calling them if he starts causing trouble.
Start the process of kicking him out it sounds like you’d be better off without him and the children would be because once they get older they’re going to start seeing it.
You said that you don’t want a broken home. Reread your post, its broken in every way. You can’t change someone else so its time to leave. Be strong, and maybe find a good therapist for you.
Throw the whole toxic man away what does he actually do for you or your child other then cause stress & problems imagine a happy life not having to deal with him at all call the cops on him the next time he does something then it’s documented & you can get a restraining order boom he’s out of your house
You need to stop being his meal ticket, if he can afford pot and buy his 13 year old child Christmas presents and, he can afford to spend time with that child he can be a father to your little one and the one on the way , stop putting up with his grap, he needs to grow up ,and he won’t if you put up with this ,it will be yours and your children’s life,and no way would he get custody so don’t think he will
You are already doing it on your own anyways, might as well get rid of the useless excess baggage.
You allowing yourself to be mistreated. Please change your circumstances asap. Get him out
Kick him to the curb he’s a USER!!
Kick him out block his number and keep him away from your kids (I never say that as truly believe a child needs mum and dad) but this man is a Donner not a father he doesn’t provide, has an addiction and temper issues. If he does push custody fight for supervised visitation only, then he will be seen for the person he is. Protect those kids and your own health.
You’re still with this guy? Honey, kick him out and kiss the past goodbye. It’s the best thing you can do for your children and yourself 
Kick him out! You’d be better off without him. If he isn’t on the birth certificate, then he has no right to your child, and legally he doesn’t belong to him. If you’re in the US. You have full custody, he would have to take you to court. And from the sounds of it, he wouldn’t even bother to take you, sadly it sounds like he would sign over his rights. I promise, you’ll be happier later in life if you leave. It’ll take a while for you to get over him, but you’ll be happy. It’s time for him to leave. Get a restraining order. It’ll be the fastest way to kick him out.
Kick his butt out of your house like right now. You can do bad all by yourself.
Why continue to have sex and make another baby with him ? I think some of you like getting dogged out 
btw he sounds like a real winner 
Please leave. This isnt a good place or situation for kids to grow up in …
If you have the messages of him saying he’s buying a gun I would just go ahead and kick him out. Wait for him to apply for custody so he is the one to pay then show up with all your evidence. You don’t need that in your life.
He won’t take those kids from you. He won’t even get his lazy ass down there to sign a birth certificate. He won’t file a thing! It’s all talk!! He’s all talk and no action!! You are way more stable than him. No judge would give him kids. I’d leave!
I didn’t even read the full post…you are being a MUG… Jesus why woman have to write a post about this is beyond me… your doing everything urself… ur letting ur child grow up seeing his dad provide for his brother/sister but not him… that’s not good for ur child to see. It’s a no brainer… get rid.
Please please remove him from your life…I sense you are actually scared of him…I hope you can find the courage to face the truth of your situation, and find someone(s) who will help…Very best wishes for a better future fir you and your babies.
He’s a loser & deadbeat. End it yesterday!!!
Put police on speed dial. Call every time he gets nasty and loses his temper.
Get info on eviction & get the ball rolling.
Call a women’s center for advice & lawyer referrals.
See if you can get a restraining order. Safety for you and the child & the one on the way is paramount. Follow advice from the women’s center or Domestic Violence hotline even if you don’t think you’re in danger. Better safe than sorry.
You may want to consider selling/breaking the lease and cutting contact with him to prevent retaliation/stalking. Check with women’s center, DV hotline, police. If you stay, get a security system & change the locks as soon as he’s out.
Up to you whether or not you want to go for child support and supervised visits with drug testing, or just cut ties entirely and have him sign away his rights. It might not even be needed if he’s not on the birth certificate/s. Ask your lawyer. Does he even have a job? I’m guessing he’d be delinquent with child support anyway and you’d never see a cent even if he goes to jail. I’d make a clean break.
Keep a record of outbursts, verbal—like the FU B****—and any other abuse, drug/alcohol use and abuse, police records, etc. with dates and times as close as you can recall. Make a copy to keep someplace safe out of the house.
Does he have access to your bank account? Have your own account he can’t access & hoard your money. You may want to get a P.O. Box so he doesn’t get tipped off by info from lawyers, police, etc.
Does he have a doctor? If so call & tell her/him about the guy’s threatening suicide. Every time. I’m guessing he’s bluffing to control you, but you’d have evidence that he made the threat and a record of reporting it to his doctor.
Ask friends and family and anyone else you’ve spoken to about this if they would testify on your behalf about what you said or anything they directly heard or witnessed, if needed.
His behavior does not bode well for custody. He’d have to pay for a DNA test & show up to court to plead for even visitation, and he seems to not pay for or show up for anything! He’s already signed away his rights to one child, and with a history of drug use and violence he wouldn’t stand a chance at custody.
You will be amazed at how much better you will feel once you’ve rid yourself of that so-called man & his son who abuses your toddler. Your babies will be better too.
Find other moms, family and friends who will support you and your family, someone to be your birthing partner, look out for you. He sounds too lazy to take any action against you; he just likes to scream and complain.
Not sure what you ever saw in him, but he sure sounds like a mean a-hole & waste of space.
Good luck. Once you are out from under all this get therapy for you and your little one. You may both have PTSD. Find out why you put up with this D-bag in the first place.
Make a wonderful and peaceful life for you and your children and live happily ever after.
You clearly know he’s not going to change. You need to go while you can!
The suicidal threats are to make you stay and I wouldn’t do it. Leave his ass and be done. I think I would have left after we had our first child and he didn’t help with anything. I wouldn’t get pregnant again. He obviously doesn’t care about you or the children he helped make. Why is his oldest favored? Does he miss the mother? Trying to impress her or what?
There’s no point in a child having a whole room to themself when they aren’t even there all the time. Your children need a room and space to live!
Leave and let him TRY to take you to court. Everything you have just said does NOT favor him in any way. You need to stand up and be strong. Fight the battle and do what you need to do for those babies.
Kick him out. He just wants a free ride. He’s not helping with anything so there is no loss. As for custody he has no chance, you can show after all this time he has never put any thought into signing the birth certificate and has no place to live or can afford it. As soon child support is mentioned he will run.
I dont understand why you would have a baby with this guy, let alone 2! They dont change if they dont want to. Get out and concentrate on your 2 babies
Why is this even a question? Leave. Why have one kid, let alone two with him?
Kick him to the curb and save yourself and your kids from the unnecessary stress has adding to your lives. If you’re doing it all by yourself, you may as well be by yourself. U stress this all the time to my daughters ( they’re adults) you will be amazed how how much of a relief it is to not have to deal with him. As far as him threatening suicide, it’s just that. A threat to manipulate you. So is the custody threats. If he doesn’t participate in taking care of his baby that yall have now, he doesn’t want to without you. It’s just another way to manipulate you. Been there, done that. Was much better off without him or the added stress and I had three kids four and under.
You don’t want a ‘broken home’ for your kids…but you ARE living in a broken home already. This is not a safe place for your babies, or you. Get him out of there. Pack his stuff up, place them outside, change your locks and turn on your cameras. Be ready to call the police as well.
Gosh I could have written this! Take your babies and leave! Worse case scenario set up parenting plan!
If it’s your house, kick him out and change the locks. Don’t bother engaging with the emotional manipulation bulls**t. Bye, loser. What’s he going to do? He’s not even on the birth certificate.
If you care about your kids as much as you claim to, he’d already be gone
He sounds a lot like my ex. At one point he wanted me to sleep downstairs on the couch with our newborn baby so he could get a decent nights sleep! I think you already know the answer, you just need help to pluck up the courage to leave him, like I did. Have you got any close family or friends you can ask to help you? I literally write down what I needed to say and took the piece of paper with me. Before anything else you need to make sure that you and your children are safe, cos right now it doesn’t sound like you are. You can do this.
Kick his sorry ass to the kerb, broken homes are only broken wen u live like this xx
You’re already paying the bills? So what is his contribution? He’s not on the birth certificate or married to you so as of rn he has zero right to your kids. Make him take you to court on his dime. Kick his ass out. Call the cops and have him removed when he starts cussing you like that. Fuck these dudes fr you don’t need him.
You need to kick him for you and your children. You deserve so much better!
Leave its Just Empty threats if he doesn’t have money for diapers and he doesn’t have money for a lawyer To try and get custody of them.He is just using you.
Like, I literally can’t even with this …. You had one child with this child and then choose to have another after all of it? LITERALLY, this is ridiculous and like… oh and also, the weed thing? He’s not acting like a jack a$$ because of that… I’d do some digging and odds are you’re gonna find out he’s “addicted” to something much worse. The fact this loser isn’t in the bc is a good thing, don’t add him to the next one either.
Call his bluff. Let him leave or kick him out… You won’t be any worse off then than you are now. Then file for custody of your kids, and ask for supervised visitation only for him until he is able to be sober and drug free. Clearly he has some growing up left to do. And make that room the baby’s room. When you kick him out, his kid won’t be needing it anyways. You have to protect your kids. That needs to be your first priority.
I dont understand why you would want to even have a second baby for this guy. And why are you still with him? I am sorry but its sad and I hate to see some woman out there like you doing things like that… I would of done left him and move on with my life.
If you stay then you are an abuser to your children and yourself. You are very clear in your mind what’s happening… you literally have no excuse to stay and put your kids through a life like this or you. Call cps on him call the cops on him do whatever you have to do but he needs to go like yesterday.
At this point … kick him out … he’s goin to fight u over custody w what $$. Emotional abuse is still abuse. If he doesn’t leave start an eviction on him … you said it’s your home he hardly pays towards rent.
It’s your house. Kick him out. Also why are women still having more kids with losers? Seriously!
If he’s not helping now, he definitely won’t fight for custody.
Kids would rather come from a broken than to live in a broken home. Speaking from experience.
Set up the baby nursery asap, I guarantee that loser will not leave, why would he when you provide for your household as well as his child from previous relationship. I would NOT put twin bed in nursery you have no idea what he may do to newborn. Let him/her sleep on the sofa since he/she is there every other weekend. Stop providing for him and his child set some rules and boundaries in your home and tell him he needs to contribute to household and children’s expenses and if he doesn’t he will need to move out. His ex got rid of him for a reason. You are already doing it alone you and your children don’t need that deadbeat sorry excuse for a man in your lives. Will all the proof you have you will not have to worry about custody and when you apply for child support he will disappear in the blink of an eye. Good luck
He is using you for sex and a place to live. He is providing nothing to you or your family kick him out, you are already proving you can do it without him. Pack his shit, put it outside and change the locks.
Yet you got pregnant by him again 
I mean this is just sort of ridiculous to read…does he bring ANYTHING to the table? What is the point in continuing this relationship.
And yet, you are having a SECOND child with him!! What is wrong with you?!
Sounds like you have plenty of evidence to take to a court if he does file for custody. But I don’t think he will. Sounds like he doesn’t want anything to do with them. You definitely shouldn’t stay. He’s verbally abusing you in front of your child and using drugs. If CPS got wind of it the kids could be taken from both of you. You need to kick him out and file a restraining order. It’s much better for kids to grow up in a broken home than a dysfunctional one.
Babe I only read half he sounds like a dropkick and a deadbeat dad you don’t need a half time dad or no time dad you need a full dad have full-time partner get rid of him just throw him out you don’t need him you can do it yourself
Sounds like hes got more baggage then what benefits he brings to the table. It’s your house, tell him he can leave willing or you can go sign an eviction notice. As far as custody, just tell him you will see him in court. He will pay if he takes you to court though so it’s probably not in his best interest I’d tell him.
Leave while you can. He doesn’t care enough to try to get custody which the judge would eat him alive if he did try. You have nothing to worry about. You are already on your own you just have deadweight dragging you down.
Time to make a choice him or your kids. I personally would send his a** packing.
Put his stuff outside and change the locks. Don’t say anything at all. Just do what needs to be done. If he shows up threatening you, call 911. Get a restraining order. It should be easy to obtain one if you have all the documentation you say you do. Tell them you live in fear (it’s not really a lie). Focus on you and your babies and have a good friend or family member beside you for support. Your kids are young, they will get through this. They won’t miss anything because you already said he doesn’t do anything anyway. No more hanging on to empty promises. He is NOT going to change. If he gave up rights to one kid, he will sure as hell do it again. Get out of that situation before it gets really ugly.
I can’t stand woman on here bashing other’s it’s absolutely ridiculous. She is here for help not shit talking! Grow up.
Being in a relationship like this is very difficult. Speaking from experience I’m sure he pulls the manipulation cards when he sees you are fed up. Been there done a relationship a lot like this. You do not need to stay with him because you have children together and this is not love. I’m sure you love him and that is why it is hard to leave. But at the end of the day you have to think about you and your babies. When he is gone pack his belongings put them out side and change your locks. Sounds like he doesn’t have bills there he’s not on the lease so there is nothing he can do. When he contacts you tell him to keep it about the children not you and him. Set boundaries and stick to them. Be STRONG for yourself and those kids. You got this you know what needs to happen but only you can make it happen. And trust me, it will be a huge weight lifted and you and you child will be much happier and it will be much better on you and your pregnancy. STAY STRONG
He’s not going to change. And he won’t bother fighting for custody or even visitation. Get yourself and your babies out of this situation.
Tldr Get rid! Why get pregnant by him again if he was so useless the first time round?
And screaming “FU b*tch” is not gaslighting. It’s straight up abuse.
Get a parenting plan in place before you do anything. Than leave him he cant take your babies you will have papers in place if he didnt sign the birth certificate he will have to step up if he want visits
Nope is this the life you want to live?? Would you be ok with your children being in a relationship like this? Children learn from their parents relationship and how the dynamic is. Straight up abusive and toxic. If you’re doing it all on your own his name isn’t on anything I’d straight up get the locks changed:woman_shrugging:t2: give your baby the 2nd bedroom and live a life you and your baby’s deserve.
I stopped reading halfway through… why would you have another child with a man that doesn’t take care of the first two he has?!? I’ve always been a strong believer that if you’re gonna do it on your own, you might as well be on your own. Leave this loser, file for custody and child support and focus on yourself and your children until the time a man comes along that will love and treat you and those kids like y’all are the only ones on earth!
Kick him out. But if for some reason you don’t, don’t take the kids room, a baby and a two year old can share… It’s not his other kids fault he’s a dick bag.
All that from the first and you’re still there…just stfu and keep accepting it till he leaves you. We all know that’s what’s gonna happen.
Kick him to the curb, cut your losses. Make this a learning experience for the boys-men you want for future.
Your just hurting yourself and the kids if you don’t get out. Sign up for wic and food stamps to help. Also if you have family ask for help.
I don’t even need to finish reading the situation I got through maybe the first what would be paragraph, to know you need to walk away. Pregnant or not, you need to walk away. Get them out of your home and the relationship and be done with it. But make sure during the course of everything you’re doing you have proof of everything so make sure you buy like a portable little spy camera something and record everything as much as you possibly can if you’re not home and he’s home by himself make sure you have cameras we can’t see it so you can watch what’s going on in your home. It’s time for you to step up to the plate and take charge of your life because he sure as hell isn’t going to help you do anything if he did with the first kid he’s not going to with the second. Don’t let him continue to use and abuse you but take care of his first kid, that’s not how it works. It’s time for you to walk away.
He’s been using you for 2 years for a place to stay and a warm body. Pack his stuff up and tell him to kick rocks and get yourself to the nearest court room for support. It is time he goes.
You teach people how to treat you. Sounds like you like it if you had another kid after learning how he was. You expect him to change? Naw sis this is on YOU.