Has anyone else’s five years old developed a real attitude problem? If so, what have you found to help?
65 Likes
Consistent consequences for negative behavior goes hand in hand with rewards for good behavior.
1 Like
My 3 yr old is FULL attitdue
1 Like
Early bed and no tv. Works for 6yr old…
All I could say is welcome to parent hood . I have 2 aged 5 and 7 plus have sisters who are 13 and from my experience the attitude gets worse as they get older. is grounding , time outs etc is what I do in my household.
2 Likes
Good luck welcome to parenthood 
all kids got attitude n best believe the older they get the worst it gets … but grounding taking electronics tv extra chores helps to an extent.
My 5 year old gets grounded from all screens/electronics and if it continues he is grounded from outside with his buddies as well.
My youngest was so bad I took him to see his doctor after he had flipped out on his teacher an he was diagnosed with ADHD ab put on meds
Don’t respond to the additude. Hard I know. It can be infuriating. But they do it for the attention. Give lots of attention when they do & act as they should.
2 Likes
It’s all about which type of behavior is getting the most attention. No, I’m not saying you dont pay attention or anything. Let me explain.
Of course we praise good behavior like were bringing in the new year BUT…
When reprimanding, do you tend to get loud? Constantly reacting to unwanted behavior? It can be a huge factor in behavior.
Children will go for whichever gets them the most attention, aka if bad behavior gets loud words and constant frustration as a reaction, they’ll keep on as long as you react to whatever it is they’re not supposed to do.
No shit, try ignoring an unharmful negative behavior, like a temper tantrum. As soon as it starts, give a simple ‘I dont care dude’ and walk away. Give the bare minimum when you do discipline: not loud, no aggression, all seriousness. That way your reaction isnt sending the wrong signals. You’d be surprised how our reactions can determine behavior in the end.
My 3 and 6 yr olds are full of attitude. We called them Sassy and Mouthy. They totally get it from me, which makes it like 20x harder to deal with them
1 Like
If you keep them on track early it won’t happen.
5 Likes
Going through the same thing with my 6 and 4 year old boys. Currently waiting to see a pediatrician and child development for behavior issues. 4 yr old is learning from.his older brother which makes it all the worse. We’ve all been there mama. Goodluck and keep your head up.
More freedoms/choices. Children want to feel included and most often it’s hey eat this, wear that, do this. Give clothing options, offer different lunch options, ask before you do something that’s effecting your child. “Can I help you with your shoes buckle or do you want a minute to keep trying?”
2 Likes
My 2 year old has the attitude of a little bad ass
My mother cured my attitude problems with a quick slap up beside the head.
Just take away thier fav things every time they have a attitude problem and they will soon change thier and attitude’ it’s that simple am a mom with children with attitude amd worked with other peoples children that had attitudes’ keep telling them bad behavior doesn’t get your reward but a good attitude and good behaviour does
I call my 4 year old a sasshole…so 🤷
When are some of you “new parents” going to learn that old school works the best. I was raised that way by my wonderful parents and I grew up to be respectful and hard working. I see too many parents coddling their children when a good smack on the ass is all it takes.
171 Likes
Depends on the child. Some respond best to time outs, grounding, or just explaining. Sometimes that doesn’t work and they respond to getting their butt spanked. You just have to figure out the disapline that works for your child. Also always remember to reward good behavior with verbal praise.
11 Likes
My 6yo daughter is doing the same with attitude. I restricted the stuff in parental control on Netflix I think it’s the no structure of school schedule or having people her age to hang with
15 Likes
My 6 yo doesn’t notice her attitude a lot of the time. I make her say it again until there’s no more attitude. I try to point out to her when she’s using it, so that maybe she’ll check her tone before she speaks. It works pretty well.
14 Likes
All of my kids (14, 10 & 7) have been slinging attitude recently!! When I say down with them one on one they all said it’s partly because they have been stuck at home… missing their friends… missing school… missing their regular lives!!
Kids listen to everything even when us adults don’t think they are listening… covid has changed the world and how our kids look at things!!
8 Likes
Our 5 year olds attitude is influenced by an older cousin. We limit their playtime to an hour or so every other day, and take things away if it doesn’t improve after talking to him. Then if that doesn’t work we try other forms of discipline
4 Likes
Around age 5 children go through hormone change as their bodies grow much like what happens in the early stages of age 3 & again around age 10
Attitude is usually what parents notice about this change. It’s usually accompanied by a change in sleep habbits, appotite & a “growth spurt”. It can be an upsetting time for parents and teachers but its definitely normal and a good time for the adults in their life to practice being paitent with the child.
This is also a good time to start teaching them that their actions have consequences & allowing them to have me time.
Something that works well in my experience is giving them a notebook and pen and have them “Journal” through pictures for 5-10min. Ask them to draw how they are feeling and then discuss with the child how their attitude affects you.
11 Likes
Everyone has moods., even adults Give you child a chance to express himself, say for 3 minutes (0 minutes in public). There tell him it is time to get over it and move on. Be as firm as you need to be.
Just keep in mind they do grow up! My youngest girl, now 20, was the most stubborn child! She even refused to say please do she could have an ice cream cone! I’d tell her I wanted her to grow up to be a strong woman but I was not the one to push! You have to be persistent and strong. As much as it breaks your heart!! Reassure them you love them but you make the rules until they grow up. If they insist that they are in charge then give them an opportunity to try! Tell them they have to clean the house and make dinner!
2 Likes
Reading and playing together helps too… you can also let them work for their privilege… every child is different 
wish you best. Parenting is challenging…
I actually recorded her attitude and made her watch it with her dad when he got home. It helped A LOT
14 Likes
Depends what attitdude and why- if she’s refusing to obey discipline
Talking back first try talking to her. If that doesn’t work have her think about how she talked to you in room
Angry maybe cause of stress of today
We’ve tried the whole grounding and everything. Didn’t really work well. We’ve taken it upon ourselves to tap onto what our drill sergeants did in basic and trashed their room over and over again given a time limit, which they wouldn’t meet and once they got the message then they had ample amount of time to put their room back together. No toes outta line anymore. No yelling, no spanking. Worked liked a charm!!
Hitting isnt always the answer. This a stage every kid goes thru. Ground or take something away. Mostly pick your arguements. Some things let slide. Total disrespect deserves a walk on the butt and grounding
Start actually disciplining your kids as I have a 6 yr old and a 2 yr old. They have been disciplined for their actions since they could walk. I don’t have these problems. Too many “new parents” don’t discipline or follow thru when disciplining. They are more worried about being their friend then being their parent.
11 Likes
My daughter gets an attitude from time to time, she’s 6. I tell her to talk to me when she is ready to talk, not whine, be rude, fresh, etc. sometimes it isn’t that they purposely have an attitude but that they don’t realize the way they’re talking is rude.
I totally agree William.We all got a leather razor strap around our backsides for being disrespectful.These days kids are too spoilt and have no respect for anyone or anything.
1 Like
I think it’s pretty typical for the age really. Just be consistent and don’t give in when it comes to punishment. Even if it takes awhile, take your emotion out of it. Rules are rules.
3 Likes
Parenthood is hard! I made many mistakes but my children knew I loved them unconditionally. Young children need boundaries and consistent expectation of appropriate behavior. As they grow, don’t try to be friends; be a good role model and supportive parent. Take them to church and show up for the activities that interest them. Friendship will come when they are grown, having made and learned from their own mistakes. Adjust your methods as they age and they will respect you for your discipline, loyalty and understanding. (My daughter approved this message.) LOL
Yea that’s about the age my daughter started with it. Corner or quiet time in her room or no playing outside for the day. She’s pretty easy to correct. My son however is 3 and snappy! He takes a much firmer hand to correct. Toys get taken away, spanking, ignoring the fits he throws in his room. Just keep on it, don’t let it slide or it’ll only get worse.
1 Like
What gets through to most children like mine I take the item they love the most until I see improvement . Children these day’s have much more than I had as a child . They’ll learn I have to staighten up or I’ll loss this or I can’t do that like going to a birthday party . You have to do everything you threaten or you’ll get no where .
it is called get tough It worked for us kids growing up When my mom and dad said dont or told us to listen we knew to listen Today parents are to busy trying to reason with them
Along the way I have found that attitude changes from my daughter are usually attributed to learning them from somewhere. Whether it be a friend and adults or the way her parents are acting periodically. Usually identifying the source helps correct the problem. For example my brother has found that his outbursts when in a stressful situation per se were directly related to his sons outbursts an attitude when he didn’t get his way. Sometimes we are looking at a reflection of ourselves. That doesn’t mean it’s OK for the five-year-old. Consistency seems to be key with the boys. Timeouts and restrictions or losing things they want when they’re not acting appropriately has seem to of helped. With my daughter I found that pointing out other children having temper tantrum‘s or acting inappropriately and letting her view how that look to her and whether she thought that was appropriate seem to drive it home that it was inappropriate for her to act that way . On occasion being sent to your room to stare at the walls and think about what you did and why it’s inappropriate and that you can’t speak that way to adults has also worked. Each child is different I hope you find your way
1 Like
- Lead by example. Do you have an attitude problem? Does your daughter see you acting rude or disrespectful to others?
- When you say “attitude problem” what exactly do you mean? At 5 kids are learning and every time they make a mistake we have an opportunity to redirect them and encourage better behaviors. Is she talking back? Hitting people? Cussing?
- Some mental health/developmental disorders can cause abnormal behavior.
- The best thing you can do is reinforce positive behaviors and set clear and consistent boundaries and behavioral expectations a
4 Likes
Stop hanging with the wrong kids in kindergarten!but start taking stuff away or if they watch tv don’t let them watch their fave show!!!
Consistency very important!
If its your kid? The good OldFashion ways work best n its proven look at who gt smacked n who did not so spare me the BS! Some of us grew up work hard n respect ppl bcuz thats how it was taught a good smacking on the ass works!!
2 Likes
You dont give them attitude to mimic…You give them a firm and loving tone with strong direction and discipline suitable to each situation.
Reading Leman’s parenting book on strong willed children. Its alot about setting boundaries and not budging while theyre young.
I think, in general, that many people of all ages have a lot of “attitude” these days. Children learn what they see. If you have attitude, so will they. Bad attitudes are not okay for adults. Act around your children the way you want them to act.
Maintain strict rules and consequences . Have a 5 year old that all you have to do is say “excuse me?” . Instant change … because we maintain the rules on manners and behavior .
1 Like
I take everything away and if they get mouthy a bar of dial soap for 1 min never killed anyone. Grounding for a day won’t hurt and then timeout 1 min for age until they hit 10. By that time more than a day grounding works wonders.
I have a 6 year old he used to be a love but semi demon he was omg, but I tried to talk first then smack his butt old school and seem it didn’t work so I started to tell him everyday I lift my fingers countdown and he knows to stop listen and follow directions or he will be on his knees and looking at a wall for 20 mins and lately he has been more calm
Nothing. I have a 7, 4, & 3 year old…they all have attitudes. It’s hard to punish the me out of them lol
2 Likes
Kids watch and learn whats allowed at young age. Always start by age 2 to fix these issues because if not makes it harder to fix when they get older. I would be consistent about it and corner time and taking away favorite toys.
They go thru phases. Breath. Don’t freak out. Explain its wrong. Explain what you expect. Walk away. Teach them to make choices. Good or bad. They will.learn.
It helps to remember that some animals eat their offspring
1 Like
Nip the behaviour in the bud by giving choices. Take this or that, no other offer on the table. Make that clear. Kids this age need matter of fact choices, let them take autonomy and make a decision on their own. Give alternatives and consequences. Do not reward or cave to behaviours. Good luck!
Yup its hard. Lots of hugs and trying to understand the needs.
Kids aren’t bad, there are underlying needs to the behavior.
Remember it’s easier to be bad then good… bad behavior is so fun with all the attention it gets. My kids used to be shits when I was on the phone so i made a shoe box and left it on the top of refrigerator called the phone box with fun stuff to play with only if mom was on the phone. Also if they were shits while I was driving I’d pull over and say nothing. They would be like mom what are you doing? I said waiting for you so mom and drive. Struggling times. I empathize. Positive wins good luck
not sure how to deal with it in this day and age… when i was a kid if you got an ‘attitude’ problem, you got a willow switch to the rear end, lol.
1 Like
Is it possible that the attitude is due to all the recent changes?
Even my sweet, always kind and patient 7.5 year old has had a few moments of attitude lately.
Summer vacation was just being at home and the backyard constantly.
He’s use to us going to the park constantly, going on trips , movies and such.
I had a talk with him last week when he had a day of attitude, he ended up telling me he was just tired of quarantine. Tired of not seeing friends and family. Tired of not being able to do all the fun stuff we had planned.
5 years old is old enough to get some kind of response of what going on in their little head.
Also, is there a chance that it’s something they’re being exposed to?
Parents sometimes forget that kids pay more attention to our own actions and tone than the words we say.
As a mom of 11 my oldest son being 24 and my youngest being 5 weeks… I have found the best method is jumping in front of the problem… I ground my kids to me!! For example I make them spend time doing what I want to do… they hate it but I create memories and they drop the attitude fast lol… pick things you know you love but your child may not like gardening for example
1 Like
If you have a boy, he more then likely gets it from a older sibling if he isn’t the only kid. I have a 10 year old daughter who acts like she’s a adult with her attitude and my 5 year old son copies. He tells me “no, make me” “kiss me white hairy butt” and the new one “ don’t be a pain in my butt
What really workd is starting when they are younger not to dote on them so when they get older they use you to do more!
…it will end in 13 to 16 years 
but don’t act like its fine either reprmand him/her if hes being disrespectful… how? You know your kid better then we… consequences! You only have to suffer through them with him/her a few times before they get the point
It gets worse. I have tried everything. Spankings work the immediate but aren’t in long term. I take things away but it is continuing. 
Exercise. 100% I make my kids run, do push ups, sit up, jumping jacks, and wall sits. I have 5 kids. Its good for them and helps them in the long run
Mine does that spanking ,yelling does not work I dont condone unless they bully another mid or something. I have found though manual labor humbles them you cant work them to death but a pile of rocks takes a while to move without shovels
First off you don’t give in to it cause that will just reenforce it, second if it persists give them an attitude adjustment. Works Everytime.
What about talking with the child. Telll him::her that he will receive a reward when he follows the rules.
Gotta start younger than 5. If it’s a “new” attitude, correct it immediately and be consistent!
One good whoopin will work wonders unless you want bubba in prison to do it
Go outside, find a tree, tear off a branch as big around as a pencil. Go back in the house and bust their little asses. The first time may not do it, but the second time will.
Take DEEP BREATHS Mama! Be constant in your choice of discipline. Don’t back down; the world will thank you later!
Love them through it. Just ignore or use time out .spanking means it’s okay to hit and then when they start hitting you, explain that one.
I suggest speaking to the child and showing them how their behavior effects others.
When I count and get to 3 it’s a wrap. I also believe in the power of the belt. 50cent said it best…get the strap
It only gets worst. My 8 year old is omgosh
Follow through!!
Boundaries
Limited choices (ex: you do this, this happens vice versa then say…make a good choice)
Punishment need to fit the crime… don’t take the tablet AND the video games AND the…because they threw a fit in public.
Remember… they’re 5, been on earth for 5yrs, minimal understanding they’re living thru pure emotions and basic needs.
Point out their good behavior as much as bad…“you were really good in the store today, thank you”(no treat! For good behavior you know why)
Mine is about to be 13 amd has one
My 7 year old son was the same…hates me, hates himself, hates his favorite toy, wants me to die, wants himself to die, etc…it was REALLY tough when those words would come out of his mouth and he would throw stuff, kick me, etc…I would be stern with him and then let him cry it out/be angry about it and then once both he and I had calmed down a bit I would talk to him about his feelings being perfectly normal. Everyone has the feelings he’s going through and that’s OK…I would say what’s NOT ok is not talking to me about those feelings…after several painful years of this behavior we are FINALLY at a tipping point! No more throwing things/hitting/kicking, he no longer screams at me or says the hurtful things he used to say…now when he gets mad he goes to his room for a few minutes and then comes out to say he loves me and we move on after talking about it a little . I feel you’re pain but pain ends eventually…it’s all about asserting your dominance while not belittling their feelings…balance.
Children live in a hypnotic state until approx 7 years old. Has he had any adverce childhood experiences? Has something happened to him that you don’t know about?
I call it the Kindergarten attitude I don’t know what happens then but something in that brains fires off out the mouth LOL
I have a 6-year-old nonverbal Deaf/Autistic daughter with an attitude and tantrums/meltdowns from hell.
I have tried spanking. From a very young age… it wasnt necessary… but as she gets older and more strong-willed, it just does not work. She behaves well for her father but if it is just her and I on our own she takes full advantage and acts out terribly. It was just recommended to me that if you have a special needs child, (or kids with severe behavior and communication problems) a “calming corner” may be more effective than physical punishment.
Basically you get a bean bag or soft chair with pillows and sensory items for them to redirect themselves… then when they have cooled off, it is easier to talk things out and acknowledge feelings.
I have recorded my child’s rages so she can watch them later and it helps her to acknowledge her feelings… describe her behavior and we can talk about how this is not an acceptable way to act.
I have yet to test out the corner… but I’m willing to try anything at this point.
If you do not know how to control a 5 year old, how are you going to control a 12 or 15 y.o. You do not ask;you demand. Break out the whoop ass if necessary.
Good ass whooping and some tough love. Be a parent not a friend…
3 Likes
I’m struggling with my 6 year old daughter’s attitude, she hates me she doesn’t like me not want to live with me because her dad has put loads off rubbish in her head. Gets me so upset… 
Advice would be much appreciated too!!
3 Likes
Give some control/options and a count down so they know what is coming vs just taking a toy away/turning the tv, it made a huge difference for us. We did a lot of m&m candy rewards for small things things when one of ours with a temper displayed good behavior. Lots of hugs when they was angry helped or after being punished. I also say yes more to them. Not to be a push over tho. If anything, I’ve learned to go with the flow and relax.
These pages helped me. Take a look if you have time.
Nose pressed against the wall for as many minutes as how old they are
Spanking
Making them throw a toy in the garbage
Wait till they are teenagers
3 Likes
Treat them politely, respect them. They’ll follow your example
I’ve preached to my kids since they could talk that it’s rude to act that way. Princesses/ super heros don’t act that way. And now most of the time all I have to say is don’t be rude and they stop, of course there’s the occasional outburst that warrants a butt whooping or atleast some time in their room to cool off. It really depends on the reason for the attitude and the severity of it. If they’re having a bad day and I can tell I normally just send them to their room for some down time, if it continues or they’re just being out right brats I’ll spank them.
2 Likes
Parenting with love and logic. I’m a HUGE fan.
IMO if its a boy, he’ll straighten up in a few years, if its a girl, its only the beginning.
1 Like
All y’all are good my grandparents made me go pick my switch and it better have been a good one I learned real quick how to act right
My 5 year old thinks he is 15
If you find out let me know 
going on 12 years of attitude
Spanking works real well.
Start takin things away n punish her for more than 10 min so it sticks
My kids got a whipping.
1 Like
Spanking is the way to go
Get a water bottle & spray them like you would a naughty a cat:woman_shrugging:t4: just a suggestion… my kids thought it was hilarious