Yelling does not help !!! Consistency and kneeling down on her level and explaining that you will listen to her words but she needs to calm down and stop the tantrum because mommy can’t understand her when she is fussing!! If that fails and there is sassing then time out !!! She’s 4 so 4 minutes even if she gets up put her back and go about your business!! It will take time but eventually she will learn to calm down !! And have talks about fibbing but also make sure that your not just miss understanding i mean She’s 4 and she in her head just knows you said no to going back to the park she doesn’t know to explain it all !! Good luck💖
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Sounds like she may be having trouble dealing with the transition and acting out.
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She’s spoiled at that house, yes?
MIL gives her attention while you’re tending to the 2 year old, yes?
She’s playing the role of 4 year old who is literally testing her boundaries. Do not tell her cross the boundaries.
Politely explain to MIL what happened at the park… after daughter is asleep. Explain to MIL what she’s doing… if MIL was a good mother to her son… she’ll know, and get on board with you in keeping those boundaries and asking daughter questions to keep her in line and call her out when she’s lying. Hell, record daughter playing next time while at the park… then if she lies again, pull out the video and be like… oh, what’s this awesome video? 
she’ll get curious, show her, and be like 
Is that you playing at the park? Look grandma, she was playing at the park today. She must’ve forgot because she’s tired…
Do not let her cross boundaries.
Also… setting rules for lying would help too.
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So your child start acting like it takes control and correct the kid
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Or your house so they assume not your rules …. Put your foot down and explain that just because your on someone’s else’s house doesn’t mean they don’t have to listen to you anymore .
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Needs a whipping take away things that she loves I bet this wood take care of her problem the best thing whip her little ass this little girl belongs to you guys not your inlaw take some displene
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If you have to resort to smacking a child of any age , you need to look at your parenting and develop some skills your sadly lacking.
Yes I have 2 sets of twins & never ever had to hit them , all amazing adults niw who also do not resort to smacking their kids
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Our daughter was a nightmare at 4. Our sweet little baby girl was making me crazy. Back talk, throwing fits, and we tried everything from changing her diet, removing screen time, more fresh air, more one on one time with books and snuggles and honestly nothing worked but time. She grew out of it shortly before she turned 5. We did talk to our doctor and he recommended extremely low dose of melatonin and we found a great vitamin online that was a low dose of melatonin and chamomile and they would calm her down without making her sleepy. Our doctor said that when kids brains are developing they go through stages where they feel out of control in their thinking but can’t express it verbally so they act out of control. Slowing her down with these vitamins would help her process all her big emotions without acting out. We didn’t use them every day but on the extremely bad days they were a great solution. I would have never considered it but my doctor was right and now she is our sweet silly girl again and she only needed the vitamins for a few months. It was slowing down her rapid thoughts put her back in control and she was able to be herself again.
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Sounds like she’s taking advantage of having grandma around. Gotta stay consistent and also have a meeting with grandma about who her parents are. But also, it’s important to catch her doing something good. When she’s good, don’t just let sleeping dogs lie. Make a big deal, give positive reinforcement. Many kids feel like they only get recognized when they’re “bad”. When I started showering my daughter with compliments and ooohs and aaaahhhs when she did something right, her whole demeanor changed.
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It sounds like she’s just testing the boundaries now there’s other adults in the mix. It’s a little bit like ‘divide and conquer’ if you’re not on the same page with your in-laws.
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MIL needs to back the parents up and stay out of it.
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Shes seeing how far she can push you. CAUSE grandmas spoil them and they they can’t get in trouble because your at grandma. Punish her like you normally would and let her know she can’t get away with acting like that
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It sounds like you guys and your mother-in-law need to sit down and have a long discussion. She needs to get on board with what you guys are doing and on the same page. She’s old enough to realize that kids will test boundaries and try to manipulate and lie to get their way. If that doesn’t work, then you may have to find a way to move in order to get your sanity back and to get your 4 year old back on track. I know that’s not easy and sometimes not even affordable. Just do your best to try to save up so you can do it as soon as possible. I’m a single mom of three so I’ve been there.
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Consistent timeout and firm boundaries will go a LONG way. It will take a little time for her to realize you’re serious and stop pushing. Also cut back the yelling as much as you can. Ask, warning, follow through with consequence. It doesn’t have to be anything harsh. 1 minute of timeout per year of age, so she would get 4 minutes. Or a logical or natural consequence. She’s pushing boundaries in a new setting so she knows what she can get away with. It friggin sucks lol but you’re doing a good job and this too shall pass.
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Sounds like she’s stressed from move…human nature is getting what we need. That said quickly turns to what we want. As a grandparent my grandchildren run to me to be heard even in their babble. She needs one on one and you being able to understand her level. So soon she be grown and these times lost for society will take over with the feeling no one listens therefore cares.
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- Please stop yelling. It only adds to the chaos and heightened out of control emotions.
- Repeat yourself if you need to a few times when you calmly tell her what to do and what is happening. After that, ask her if she remembers what you said. Coax it out of her. Teach her. Praise her. Teach her to be calm. I know it’s hard. But stop yelling.
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Maybe quit yelling at her 🤷
Talk to her like she’s a child learning things. Teach her how to behave, use an indoor voice, express her anger in positive ways.
This child needs structure & apparently doesn’t feel she has that. So provide it. Get her on a schedule & stick to it. Interact with her, play with her, & act like she’s your child that you love and adore.
She’s feeding off your bad energy, so change it. Treat your child how you want to be treated 
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She is sooooo playing all of you! MIL needs to recognize this she had children once!!! It won’t improve until everyone is on the same page about discipline and boundaries. Have a VERY frank talk with MIL.
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Put your foot down. You discipline the way you know how. Just because you live there, doesn’t mean they get to tell you how to raise your kids. They are not the parents.
I’ve been there too. Stand up for yourselves.
Sounds like the MIL needs to butt out of it and let you both parent as you need to. Your child is playing you all off, kids are good at doing that. Consistency is key.
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It’s because children sense the chain of command. I know it sounds silly but whenever I loved with my parents my daughter was a nightmare and when I moved out she was awesome. This will continue until you get your own place. Js. People who have children shouldn’t live with their parents because of this example. Trust me it’s happened to ALOT of people I know. Until you move out nothing can be done. Spanking of course, but I’m going to assume yall get in fights with your mil if you do right? Yea…yall are adults, move out
I’ve been there (living with mil) and it’s not easy. Do your best to ignore them while at the same time respecting their rules but stand firm on your parental choices. Explain to them that shes 4 and is testing her surroundings and people. Shes realized she can “work” the sides against each other because grandma takes her side right or wrong.
Grandma should know better that this is a common act of a toddler to test their limits and try to get away with things, even down to telling lies.
Mil gives her her way and u should move out that’s ur child mil had her children to raise n she sees mil talking w u guys n getting upset so she’s seeing what is going on
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If she sees your MIL giving you shit or taking her side it will only encourage the behaviour… hard spot when you living with her but I would have a sit down with your MiL and your child separate and talk to each and maybe have your MIL reinforce the fact that YOU ARE THE PARENT and what you say goes
They don’t call em “f you fours” for no reason…thats a testy age…that being said, you need to have a sit down with everyone in the house for some ground rules. Grandma cant be going against what mom and dad say.
Maybe it’s just a grandparents thing, my kids still do this sometimes and they’re 9-7&5. The older two don’t completely spazz out but their mouths never stop. But my 5 yr old has been on this whole I’m going to wig out over everything stage, sometimes I try to ignore it because I know she’s doing it for attention, but other times it gets me to the yelling point which doesn’t help either but man. Idk I guess what I’m trying to say is you’re not alone and sometimes kids are just sasshole.
My kids grandparents are the same way. They always tell my oldest I favor my youngest because my oldest gets on trouble more. And they are only 13 months apart so it’s not a big age gap at all but she’s done this since my kid could talk. And I’ve told him it’s they way you act because you think you can do whatever you want because you’re grandmother said so when she’s not you’re mother. And it’s always well he he he I always tell him he didn’t do anything so no he’s not getting in trouble or it’s why doesn’t he get in trouble ummm because he barely does anything and when he does he gets in trouble for it. I’ve told stop listening to you’re grandmother or you’re great grandmother because they have no say in what I do and make stuff up just to put you against me.
It maybe hard but the adults should always back the other adults up. The in- laws should understand this. I sometimes jokingly tell my grandbaby “momma ain’t whooping my butt!”
Playing One Against The Other To Get What She Wants…Time For Everyone To Sitdown And Talk And Make Rules. …
She senses a higher authority from your MIL, you need to get your own place. You shouldn’t be living with her.
I’ve been here, we moved with my now ex mil, my youngest used to scream in the middle of the night he was around 10 months old had been previously sleeping right through no issues. Kids shared her room due to space and she worked nights. When she was home she would get up during the night and attempt to settle him despite being told by health professionals that he should be ignored and was doing it for attention. While she worked I established that routine and it settled for it to be ruins on her days off. She would have him outside singing at 3am…… nothing changed until I moved out, ended up causing massive issues with me and hubby so we separated for a while and I went with the kids to live with my mum till I got my own place then we got back together. Xx
Stay firm and consistent on your answers. Speak to your inlaws in private without the four year old present. She is definitely testing boundaries and playing the grandparents into the mix.
Be aware - watch her carefully and encourage her to
Express herself. she may be giving caution signals of some sort.
Pop her lil ass and let ur MIL kno thats ur child ur rules cut her bk on how much time she’s spending with them bc there spoiling her after y’all r making her mind if u say no and she goes to them and they give it to her then there’s where ur problems lie. When she lies make her do a.chore sumthin she hates the most n take her games the fun stuff put ur foot down asap talk with MIL 1st then go from there
It might be trying to get grandma attention and it might just be her age. I’m sure grandma believes you over the kid.
Why would you ever yell at a 4 year old…that only teaches her to yell…
Stop blaming the grandmother. Do you think she really needs the chaos. Why are you living with her? Put children in day care. Get a job or go to school. Plan to move out. Not a healthy situation for all.
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Well since she lied about not going to the park I wouldn’t be going today. She lies about something take that away, shes playing you against grandma and grandma is allowing it
I’m 54 yrs old, and when I was a little guy if I tried that when I was a kid I would have probably got my ass spanked, but that’s frowned upon nowadays so if you don’t nip it in the bud now, buckle up because you’re in for a bumpy ride for years to come
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I mean this as no disrespect, but it might be a good idea to get in touch with a counselor.
A dramatic change just happened. You may have moved a lot, but everything she ever knew got flipped and she might be acting out to try to keep some control of the variables surrounding her.
I moved around as a kid a LOT, and it was out of my control. Thats a pretty spiraling feeling of endless chaos to just uproot, and they just might not know how to process/express these new feelings because… They’re 4.
Idk. Above my pay grade (which has nothing to do with child psychology), but I think finding a root cause and addressing it always the right answer.
Your child needs more positive attention. Completely ignore the tantrums, they’ll get worse before they get better.
Adopt a super chipper attitude and say something like “Oh! I forgot to fold that towel! Imma go do that!” And do not make any eye contact. Catch her being good 10 times a day for the first few weeks. Every so often sit with her and play for 10 minutes or ask her about what she’s watching.
It seems like there isn’t enough time in the day until I turned my phone off for a full 24 hours and realized how much time I actually do have.
Honestly, I couldn’t deal with that nonsense as a grandma. I’d tell ya to get your own place. That being said, your mil needs to understand that she has to have your back and stop enabling.
Mil hiding in the kitchen ???
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Get your own place nobody spanks grandma
Who’s the parent? Time for a butt whoopin!
Sounds like your daughter needs an ass whoopen!
Pretty normal for that age. It will pass.
Whoop her butt!!!
Parents she not get invoked when trying to correct your child period do what’s right
I def wouldn’t take her to the park the following day after that and explain why
People, stop telling her to move out, it’s not that easy for everyone.a lot of folks have fallen on hard times, and maybe they have moved there for a good reason. She didn’t ask for advice about where she lives
I’d spank her butt and tell her when she got home tattling and lying I’d spank her again and stick to your words. Either let her be a brat or straighten her up. If MIL don’t like it remind her that you’re trying to raise a respectable child. If you don’t want to spank her, put her in her bedroom without toys til she decides to be nice. You’ve got to get control…you are the parent. I could bout bet money that the grandmother is not liking nothing about the whole thing. I couldn’t take that crying and tattling. Id be ready to bust all your butts. 
If my child did that he/she would receive a spanking. It didn’t kill me and it won’t kill my kids.
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I’d spank her if my child acted that way.
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