AITA? I don’t know it that’s even the word for this. I need to see if I’m being crazy or not here. My wedding was yesterday. My first, my husbands second. I spent hours getting ready, had a gorgeous dress, and spent so much time and effort being the most beautiful bride I could be. I work in construction and look like most of the time, so this was a huge change of pace. My husband didn’t cry when he saw me walk down the aisle. Under normal circumstances I think I would be slightly disappointed but the problem is he bawled like a baby when his ex wife walked down the aisle to him and I can’t shake the doubt, sadness, etc. I talked to him about it and he tried to reassure me but also got really frustrated with me over it and I just can’t really feel out of I’m crazy or not for being upset about this. I’m feeling really vulnerable at the moment but I don’t know where else to turn. I don’t want my friends knowing about this and judging him.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. AITA for being upset that my husband didn't cry when I walked down the aisle?
I mean I’d be jealous he cried for her but not me. But if I was wife one and bud didn’t cry that’d be fine
Can someone please tell me what AITA stands for? Thanks!
You cannot control other people’s emotions.
I told my fiancé if he doesn’t cry, imma turn around and we’ll try again lol
Y’all get upset over some of the most stupid shit on this page.
You need to figure out your life because this is stupid but you’re asking
Maybe he cried cuz he knew he was making a big ass mistake and with you he doesn’t see that so he ain’t cry LMFAOOOOO
You can’t really control other peoples emotions. Just because he didn’t cry doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. He still married you right?￼
I don’t even know what to say to this I’m just floored that this is even an issue. I am going to say this to all people. It takes years to come to terms with this. Expectations are our own ways of hurting ourselves. We put much thought on a lot of things and depend heavily on someone else to meet expectations we set forth WITHOUT even communicating it. Imagine if we were held to the same extreme ladies. Imagine if our spouses preset expectations about our own individual feelings and how we choose to independently express it. Those feeling which are OURS and ours alone are the source of our spouses “disappointment.” Imagine being crucified for not feeling some form of way during a certain point in life. It’s not normal to me. This is nuts to say the least.
It’s prob more that he’s been married before and knows what to expect than being less emotional over it. Men are wired totally differently, don’t forget that. NTA but he isn’t either
Did he tell you he cried like a baby? How do you know this?
Divorce him right now
He was younger and had different emotions, maybe he cried because the moment he saw her he knew his life was over. It obviously didn’t work out no matter how dramatic his cry was.
Maybe he was crying for her because it didn’t feel right. ESP being a man’s first time around. I think they have more doubts and mature late in the marriage part. Maybe this go around he was confident and happy with the woman he chose. It’s all about perspective.
That’s a pretty resentful way to start a marriage…
Maybe he cried the first time because he knew it wasn’t a good idea and he was right, the first marriage for him didn’t work out. Maybe this time he was feeling more confident? Ooooor you can ask him instead of all of us on Facebook only speculating.
I don’t think YTA but I think you ARE making something out of nothing. You JUST got married and you just have to find something to complain about already!? Yikes! Maybe he was crying when she walked down the aisle because deep down inside he was UNhappy, did you ever consider that? Emotions are weird and we don’t always express them in the same ways throughout our lives… otherwise we would all be running around throwing temper tantrums like toddlers.
Marriages aren’t about the big opomp and circumstance but about the union between two people.
Maybe he cried for her cause his grandma just died or something.He probably was just very emotional then getting married and all is a lot of stress.
Try it like this…he didn’t cry because he knew, he knew this was the one. That you are his forever everything from that day forward. And he bawled last time cause oops this isn’t right…try that on for size for a minute?
I would feel the same way lol aka petty and overthinking - just how I roll I guess . We can’t control others emotions and it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you or anything but I totally get it lol he’s also been married before and knows what to expect I spose
I think it’s more offensive that your online complaining about your husband the day after your wedding.
He’s already been there once before, already had that “shock factor”.
I wouldn’t call you an A hole, nope.
Insecure & jealous yes.
Really? My husband didn’t cry at our wedding either. Me, I bawled like a baby. We’ve been married 8 years. Maybe he cried at the first wife’s wedding because he was scared haha. I mean she is he ex wife right.
But did he smile???
Maybe he cried the first time because he had his doubts about the marriage?
You’ve been married for like 10 seconds and you’re butthurt that he didnt meat your expectations,
That sounds like you’re off to an amazing start
You can’t control other people’s emotions. Sounds like he already had big wedding beforehand and is less emotional over being married now. It sucks, but….
You’re being ridiculous
Yeah I think if I were in your position I’d feel some type of way. I can definitely understand your feeling. But bottom line is do you believe him when he was reassuring you? He did marry you so it’s probably not something major.
He cried for the woman he divorced? Perhaps that signaled the beginning of their problems.
Is all seriousness, you’re not the a-hole. You can feel how you feel but I would look at this as a man better able to be in control of his emotions. I doubt he’d be marrying you if he didn’t love you. But ultimately, your wedding day is just a day. It bears no significance on the rest of your life (my husband and I have been together for 22 years). What’s important is how he treats you every day, not whether or not he cried on your wedding day.
He’s older now and that could be one reason why, legitimately.
And for all you know he was crying bc he knew the first one was a mistake lol.
Yes. You’re over reacting. Enjoy being a newly Wed. Did he tell you you’re beautiful and all that? I imagine so.
Lmao smh ya I think ur a lil crazy for being so upset about this he married you yesterday(or whatever day it actually was) not his ex-wife. Congratulations by the way
I didn’t know happiness in a relationship/ marriage was determined by the groom crying at the altar
He may have been crying out of fear the first time around relax you have the rest of your life to make him cry
You married for the wrong reasons. Just cuz you see all of these videos on social media of the groom crying doesn’t mean it’s going to happen to you. People get so fixated on the idea of the wedding that they forget what the marriage is about. Get over yourself. You are not the a-hole, you’re just a brat.
Yes. Yes you are the ah.
He has an ex wife. can you not see how he might be disillusioned to the idea of marriage. He’s likely dialing way back in case you end up being an ex wife, also. It’s also really weird and controlling to demand a particular emotional response in order to validate you. his not sobbing does not mean he isn’t happy or in love with you. But your attitude towards him isn’t indicative of real love either.
Maybe he was crying because he was regretting it the first time I would imagine that because he knew what to expect, he was less nervous. Maybe just bring more calm helped him enjoy it more and control his emotions. Also, how old was he? I wouldn’t beat him or yourself up. I always think how I’d feel if my husband was mad at me for something like this. Usually that’s what makes me realize that something is dumb.
Girrrll! Stop it . People change how they present emotions. Being hurt/ mad/ sad is ridiculous.
Wow. That’s all I have to say.
I told my husband if he didn’t cry I was turning around and guna walk again till he got it right he told
Me he doesn’t cry so he won’t cry but he was crying all before I even walked it was great he cried a little when I walked down the isle and he bawled when he read his vows and as I read mine which I bawled too and he also had written vows to my children and read it to them which was a surprise for me and he bawled I bawled everyone bawled so I was thankful cause this was my second time getting married and never had that or even an actual wedding before and it’s his first but he’s not an emotional guy… I completely understand where you’re coming from I would of been extremely upset and doubting it if he hadn’t cried and been showing how happy he was for us to be getting married and how beautiful I looked cause I normally don’t get dolled up and that was a first for me as well
Well I mean your not his first.
Doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you if he proposed.
Seriously your married now I’d say you got what you wanted.
Why even marry if your gonna make him do theatrics for you.
Can’t even be happy after spending so much money.
Are you being ridiculous? YES
She is his ex. What emotions made him cry may not be the ones you really want in a marriage. Mine was smiling so wide I thought his face would crack. He was excited and happy and thought I looked beautiful. I was also smiling and happy. Your husband has probably just grown up a bit and is more excited and happy than deeply emotional. Far better way to be. Whatever made him cry is probably the same volatility that made them break up!
Really, your upset cause he didn’t cry. Get over it. He married you and cause he didn’t cry it doesn’t mean anything, your making it seem like if he doesn’t cry he doesn’t care. Remember he has done this once already and people also go with time, just like a bride will cry at her first wedding but not the second doesn’t mean she doesn’t love this person as much. Grow up and enjoy being married
How you know he bawled like a baby? Were you at his 1st wedding??? If the answer is yes, then there’s so many questions after that…
Are you gonna continually compare his first marriage to the one he has with you? If yes, you are going to be unhappy a lot.
I wasn’t expecting my husband to cry at all but he did. But even if he hadn’t I was prepared anyway. Are there other things about him that make you feel insecure? This might not be the only issue…
Wow there are a lot of judge’s people in here
Is he usually a crier? Or just at his last wedding? I wouldn’t over think it too much
He might just be a lot happier with his choice this time. Congratulations
You know, on all these wedding videos on tik tok and everywhere, the man cries when he sees his bride. It’s the thing to do. And now you’re wondering what your friends must think. You need to drop this from your mind. He wouldn’t have pledged to be with you the rest of his life if he wasn’t madly in love with you. Stop comparing yourself with his ex. Doubting his love will cause problems and shouldn’t happen. Did it ever occur to you that he was so happy when he saw you, so his love was shown with a smile?
I’m over here rolling:stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
My husband didn’t cry. is it like…he got married young - in his 20s- and married you a bit older- in y’all’s 30s?
We both didn’t cry we was just happy it shouldn’t matter he wasn’t crying
People have to stop comparing themselves and their relationships with their partners ex lol you are literally driving yourself crazy and your partner. So he didn’t cry, who cares??
Ya let it go…maybe you are making something into nothing and besides he’s married to you not the EX…Let go of the past, look to the future…
What a weird thing to be upset about.
Jesus child!!! Why just why
Not all men cry, most of them are good at hiding emotions. He may have cried the first time, but I’m sure he was younger, and probably a little more innocent. Does he treat you good, do you have any doubts that he loves you? I don’t cry at everything, and I’m a girl. I don’t think I’ve ever cried at a wedding. Some people are just built different
I would rather see a smile than a cry
If he divorced the one he cried over, you should be thankful he didn’t cry with you. You sound very insecure. My husband didn’t cry when he watched me walk down the isle. We’ve been married for 23 years and together for 30+.
Hey maybe he balled his eyes out with his ex cause he new he was making a mistake? jk lol
This is a silly thing to be upset over. Therefore, I do think you’re being the AH. Different people at different points of life. Not all grooms cry. Did he smile at you? Did his eyes twinkle when he saw you? That’s what important. That moment however it played out. It was probably an insanely beautiful moment. Don’t let your insecurities and jealousy already ruin your marriage.
Idk, do you give him reason to cry? If not, don’t worry about it.
Honestly… don’t be ridiculous… He is probably more mature now.
Just enjoy. You are a newlywed! Stop wasting your time and energy in nonsense
Don’t compare your story to his prior story. AITA… no… are you setting yourself up for failure if you continue down this path? Yes. Be happy, be in love and move on.
First world problems…
So a good and happy marriage is determined by the groom not crying. Get over yourself love
And why are you nit picking the day after your wedding??? Damn did you even start your honeymoon yet? Girl stop playing with that man and suck him off before he has wife #3
Are you going to constantly compare your marriage to his old marriage I mean if so you might as well get divorced now because I mean that’s what happened in his last marriage
Maybe he cried because he felt like he was at his own funeral and the grim reaper was coming near him and all he feels for you is butterflies and smiles.
Me or hubby didn’t cry. I did get choked up saying our vowels, but didn’t cry. He was so happy though. I could feel his happiness girl you need to chill the F out. A lot of different emotions happen and at different times. If he’s a good man and is faithful, then be happy. Let it go
Don’t worry about that enjoy each other
People change esp after a divorce. I’d cry if I ever had to get married again
He had no idea what to expect from marriage his first wedding. That probably has something to do with it.
Lmao I’ll never understand this mentality. I didn’t even cry during my wedding. Would’ve been weird to see my hubby crying. He was notably happy though it was all over his face, why’s that not enough?!
Maybe he cried because he was thinking about the alimony he’d be dealing with a few years later .
But to directly answer your question, yes you’re being the A*. It’s unfair to put that on him. Now I think what’s actually happened is that you had a picture in your mind of how he’d respond and what the moment would be like, etc and that didn’t happen. Which is unfair to him because you’re basically dictating his emotional response and then getting upset when he doesn’t conform with your ideas.
Speaking with a counselor may help you to work through and understand why you are feeling this way. I know it’s hard not to compare.
That’s so insecure lol
First stop comparing yourself to his ex wife. She is an ex for a reason. And also not everyone cries during happy moments.
If your comparing on day one to another, you have failed at the most important job you were just given!
I don’t think it would be him getting judged why would you expect him to cry just cause he did with his first? And why do you care so much that he did with his ex. His ex is irelevant. ￼￼
Already comparing 2 completely different situations…absolutely ridiculous!
You’re being a little insecure on this. He married you. Don’t compare your wedding to his first wedding. You’re setting yourself up to base your marriage of his first marriage. Two different relationships. So apples and oranges.
My husband bawled like a baby and I didn’t shed one tear the whole day of our wedding. He’s my absolute everything and best friend.
Your husband is a different person now that’s he’s with you and that’s a good thing! Don’t compare, you’ll drive yourself nuts.
Plus maybe he was crying because he knew she wasn’t the one? Hahaha
You don’t sound emotionally mature enough to get married. I hope you have some sort of therapist.
He has also grown up more and can probably hide his emotions better
Y’all got married yesterday and you’re on the internet the next day complaining? Annulment. You’re not mature enough to be married.
And yall only been married one day? Sheesh😅
So his old marriage didn’t work out. Good thing he did different this time
He’s older and wiser now. He was probably crying on the inside. He married you. That’s all the security you need.
Oh nooooo. I’d lose my shit too
Comparison is the thief of joy……who cares what he did or didn’t do at his first wedding. Don’t ruin what should have been an awesome day for both of you over something so petty
He probably cried with her because he realized he’s doomed and making a mistake tears of sadness and felt too late to back out, that’s why she’s an Ex! Also stop comparing his other marriage to yours!
No worries about your friends judging him, you seem to be judging him enough for everyone. The difference of his marriages at the alter shouldnt be held against him, the difference between then and now, is how he looks into the future. Emotional or rock steady?
I can completely understand where those emotions are coming from because I feel like I would react the same way. I don’t think YTA, and I don’t think people should be being as mean as they are considering you can’t control how something makes you feel. But I also think you’re probably looking too hard into it (which as I said, I would too initially). If you think he loves you and you’re both happy the not crying is a small thing. Once you’re able to get over the initial way it made you feel in the moment I think you’ll agree.
He cried over her, he also divorced her. Don’t compare your experience to hers.
Also, not trying to be an asshole here but if this kind of small thing is going to create emotions this big in you, you likely need some therapy and preemptive marriage counseling because it will be a long and hard road for both of you if this continues. There will be so many BIG things thrown at you during marriage. If something this small is upsetting you, imagine something huge…it’s not a healthy way to live in a marriage to walk on eggshells and tiptoe.
I wouldn’t take that one action and make anything out of it. There could be a million reasons why. Maybe when his ex was walking down the isle he realized he made a mistake subconsciously. The second time getting married is quite different from the first.