Separate or together whatever works for yall. Neither is right or wrong. What IS wrong is that he isnt helping with the bills. I would NOT stand for that. He gets a free ride while you pay for it all no no. Yall need to have a long talk about how you need him to pitch in. dont push for a shared account, push to have him help more.
Every relationship has a differnet and personal dynamic, one couple may be happy with one bank account for the rest of their life, others may need their own accounts and other may each have their own account as well as a family or house account (which sounds like an option that you should offer him, so much of your money and so much of his money into one family account for family/household/domestic/relationship finances-hey it would be a start…
I have been married for 53 years. We have always had a joint account. The issues here feels to me that he wants you to pay for things while he saves for an escape. It doesn’t feel as if he’s in this for the long run.
A spouse that wants to join everything shows they trust you and wish to be with you in every manner. Do you own a home together or is it just in his/your name? What about vehicles? Both names or just one?
You both need to sit down and discuss why he feels it necessary to only have his name on the bank accounts. (To me ((my opinion)) it’s trust issues and escape monies.) If something happens to him what happens to his accounts?
Bonnie: I so agree with you! Fifty three years married here. You are a team. Unless there’s a good reason NOT to trust her with a joint account he should be acting as her partner.
My husband and I both have separate accounts and split the bills evenly.
I give him my share as he has the bills come right out if his account.
We’ve been together 17 years and this works for beautifully for us.
No money issues or arguments, it’s wonderful.
Your husband needs to be fair and put in his fair share if he doesn’t want a joint account.
Good luck!!