AITA for thinking my parents should want to babysit?

My man and I want to go out every other weekend to get away from the kids and focus on just us…the issue is neither of our parents wants to babysit every other friday night and i think its BS…they say its not their job to watch my kid over night all the time and I need to stay home with him more…am i the one in the wrong about this? I feel like they should want to spend time with their grandchild


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. AITA for thinking my parents should want to babysit?

They’re right. You and your spouse made the decision to have children it’s your responsibility to take care of them. If weekends out every other week are that important then perhaps hire a babysitter. Your parents job was to raise you. And that job ended when you became an adult.


These comments are so sad…

My parents were overjoyed to take on that job when my son was born. They watched him 1-2 nights a week for my husband and I and they wouldn’t have traded that time for the world. Now they’re both dead and I am so thankful they got as much time as they did before they died. Now my mother in law lives with us (rent free) and in exchange my hubby and I get to go out on whatever dates and things we want and she loves her grandson and happily watches him.

I definitely think they should take one weekend a month. Can you force them to? No…and honestly if they don’t want to it’s their loss.


It isnt their job🫣

Honestly- I would just pay a babysitter every other weekend. If grandparents offer to watch: show gratitude. But don’t make them feel like its their obligation.They are your kids💕


If they don’t want to, then you need to respect that and hire *pay a sitter.


Really… :roll_eyes: pay a baby sitter if you want that kind of freedom… god some people act so entitled… its not their job to babysit your kids.


Some parents - like myself - can’t get enough of their grandchildren. My daughter knows I will babysit whenever she asks as I love spending time with my grandson.

She’s appreciative and actually doesn’t ask often. Your sense of entitlement is the issue - you’re demanding their time; where do you get the idea that they have to babysit for you? Their time and energy is not your right!


This generation thinks they are so entitled. Grandparents have no obligation. They have raised there kids. Grandparents should he able to spend time with grandkids on there terms. Not to be forced into it. They have raised there kids now its time for you to grow up and do the same


Yeah it’s not their problem. Some grandparents want to spend more time with their grandchildren but not all of them do. And while it would be nice if they did you shouldn’t expect them to do it.


“You feel like they should want to spend time with thier grandkids” spending time and being your weekly babysitter is two different things!!
PAY a babysitter and or maybe only make it a once a month date night they are YOUR kids. Also how nice to expect every other Friday and for over night too🤦‍♀️


First off, I know how hard it is to not have anyone who would offer to watch them just because they want too, every-time I ask someone it always feels like a burden and a hassle… and I don’t ask much unless it is important simply because no one has ever offered. Some people don’t understand how exhausting it can be having to be with them 24/7 and how it can deeply affect relationships. Just because we chose to be parents doesn’t mean we don’t deserve a break sometimes. I would just try to find a reliable and trustworthy babysitter and leave them be about it :confused:


Maybe it’s the keeping overnight that they don’t want to do. If they’re elderly grandparents it may be more than they can handle.


Should they want to spend time with they’re grandchildren? Yes, but it’s not they’re responsibility so no they don’t have to. Your kids will grow up and learn who was there and who wasn’t. My mom will take my daughter almost any time I ask and they have the best bond. The other grandparents aren’t so giving and that’s okay. My daughter will grow up and see how she was treated and who was there for her. You shouldn’t have to force people to want to be in your kids life.


I love my grandchildren more than. LIFE! Adopted 3 of them I am now raising 4 greatgrandsons from birth. They live with me. Wouldn’t trade my life for anyone’s. They are GOD’S gift to us. I cannot understand ANY grandparent NOT wanting to spend time with their grandchildren. ??? Especially when it’s not even often. MY feelings. Someday they will regret this. Or perhaps they don’t have any LOVE to give. Strange.


It’s not their job to babysit. If they do great if they don’t oh well. If you want a guaranteed babysitter every other weekend you need to hire one. Your parents have done their job by raising you now it’s time for you to do your job. Some grandparents love watching their grandchildren and some don’t.


As a parent I would never expect anyone to watch my child every weekend to go out grow up you decided to have kids deal a night here and there is completely different but every weekend is a bit much


You just sound immature. We’d all love to have a healthy amount of time away from the kids and have adult only time, but the fact that you expect it from your parents and then pouting about not getting your way speaks volumes.


Lmfao… The entitlement in you!


Overnight twice a month is a luxury many parents don’t have. My own parents have been gone for over a decade (and I just became a parent 10 months ago). My husband’s parents love spending time with our baby but draw the line at watching her overnight…and I get it, because they’re retired and she’s still a lot of work at night lol.
We do have a night alone about once a month, though. My best friend/her godmother started keeping her at 4 months old. We appreciate it so much and bend over backwards to make it as easy for her as possible…and we honestly have only used it to go out once lol. The rest of the times have been used to deep clean and get some real sleep.


Sense of,entitlement must irritate these,grandparents so,much. Look after your kids


Every other weekend? Very unrealistic expectations to start with. Not wanting to “babysit” every other Friday does not in any way, shape or form mean they love their grandchild any less and I hope y’all aren’t portraying that to your kid. It’s important to date your partner, yes but y’all also decided to be parents so it’s just as important to spend time with your kid. If date nights are that important, y’all should invest in a babysitter


In short… YES.
How dare you even have the nerve to be pissed that someone who did not create those children should be obligated to care for them. Maybe if you didn’t stomp your feet and pitch a fit they’d have been more willing to volunteer given the opportunity


They’re not wrong though are they, you had the kids not either of your parents, I mean couldn’t you ask for them to have them once a month rather than every other Friday night, that does seem a bit excessive tbh, my mum loves spending time with her grandchildren but she’d draw the line at babysitting every other Friday! She’s done her time why should she have to change her plans to suit her kids when they’re grown up! There’s a difference between them spending time together and you using them as glorified babysitters. We’re all entitled to our own time away from the kids of course but what you’re asking is a bit too much in my opinion


You are one entitled brat. I’d say the other b word but fb won’t let me :woman_shrugging:t4:


They all raised you want should they have to help you raise yours. I am a grandparent yes I would babysit if they needed me to so both could work but not so they could go out. Find a sitter.


They should want to but you’re not asking them to spend time with their grand baby, essentially what you are asking of them is to enter into a Visitation schedule. My ex takes the kids every other weekend for 1 night.
Maybe they feel like you’re forcing it on them and you’re asking them to make no plans every other Friday so you guys can go do what you want. Working on your relationship after you have a baby is truly important (well done for recognising that) so it’s ok to ask if someone will watch your child OCASSIONALLY!!! If you want a set roster, then pay someone. Coz im assuming you’re expecting your parents to do it for free. I don’t think I’d bond well with someone if they were forced upon me and I HAD to have them every other weekend. Your kid, your responsibility. Can’t expect others to put their lives on hold to help you forever


Yes you wrong!!! It’s not as easy going out on the Weekend after having kids. So get over the BS and stay home


I feel like you’re in the wrong here! Of course they should want to watch their grandchildren… but when they want to not forced upon… kids are hard work! And as you get older it’s harder especially at night time to look after them.
My mum and MIL watch my kids for me willingly every week as I work overnight, but its way easier for my mil as she has support to help her and for my mum it’s harder as its her by herself and she can struggle when they have a bad night. You should never expect anyone to watch your kids


Once in a while, Im sure theyd be willing to but every other weekend is abit much to expect of them or anyone you’re not paying.


You shouldn’t expect anyone to do anything for you, your setting yourself up for heartache. BUT for each set of them to babysit once a month, if it’s every other week & swap grandparents each time should be reasonable as active/healthy grandparents, who want to spend time with said kid. Possibly not have your children stay the night so it’s not overwhelming.


I am a grandparent and my husband and I are thrilled to get my grandkids anytime we can. I value my time with them so much. Even though they are only 1 and 2 now, I hope they look back on their time with us and remember it fondly.


Yes…you are wrong! Get a baby sitter you trust! :roll_eyes:


The day I gave birth to my premature son my mum and dad went on holiday…the first one without us kids…I told to enjoy themselves I will be fine…and I was…I didn’t have children for them to look after…you shouldn’t expect them to want to have them overnight…pay a babysitter… and why overnight ? you had the kids not them…they have done thier bit bringing up thier own kids…put yourself in thier shoes…:woman_facepalming::england:

After like the first two years. My mother in law wanted her all weekend. So we got to have a little of fun. Now she’s 16 and my 36. So just hang out at home. But his mother-in-law has taken her all over the country with her!! Memories they will never forget. Lucky all my daughters grandparents want her around and do a lot for her!


It isn’t their job. But you can’t make people want to be around your kids regardless of relationship to them. I’ve never expected grandparents to keep my kids. My dad just kept my two oldest overnight for the first time and they are 7 & 5 :flushed:. And he probably won’t do it again until next summer and I’m okay with that because their mine. Just get a babysitter for a few hours to go out, why does it have to be over night.


I live for my grandchildren I love it when they come to stay with me sometimes when they were real little it used to get stressful but I always took my grandkids every time my daughters would ask now my grandchildren are practically growing up the youngest one is going to be 10 the oldest one just turned 18 I really miss them being little I wish they were that small again they don’t spend as much time with me now because they’re older they’re teenagers they have friends but I love them to pieces and I live my life for them and they know it


I must have had the greatest parents ever , they adored all their grandkids and couldn’t spend enough time with them , I’m so glad they did , my parents have been gone over 20 years now but the grandkids still talk about the memories they have

I think it’s kind of bS that they say you’re not with them enough when you’re going out once every 2 weeks. Unless you’re not with them at all during the week and you left that part out. Plus If the parents alternate they each only have to do it once a month. I’m blessed with my MIL who takes my kids all the time haha. I would find some trustworthy babysitters and just don’t ask your parents anymore. Sorry :disappointed:

Well let me hop into this. You are not entitled to their time. They raised their kids. My parents had my daughter 1 time over night in 6 yrs because I went into labor. Other then that unless they ask I do not ask them. They took 18yrs to raise me. My children are mine to take care of. If me and hubby wanna go out yes we ask but if they have plans we work around them or change our plans. It’s selfish of you to feel like this. My parents adore our children but they have boundaries and limits too. Again they already raised their own children.

Wish I had a babysitter at all I gave birth to our last two children 2/3 by myself bcuz we had no one here I even drove myself to the hospital in labor like (12hrs into labor) by myself bcuz we had no one. I was worried my 3 ur old wold see me In pain so I tried to hold in back
I wish my mom ect was here if u do have that b so very thankful and take whatever they r happy with giving you
It’s not there place to watch kids but if they can or will it’s a blessing
Some of us have no one to help

Lol I’m 21, and if my mom can’t babysit then I respect that. And I sure as hell don’t ask her to babysit every other weekend.
They raised their kids, now it’s your turn. They should help every once in a while but not every other weekend.


No one wants to be granny and pawpaw anymore. Everyone lives like they’re still young these days. Families use to help each other and give the married parents a chance to still date and keep their marriage fresh. I wonder if these are both sets of actual grand parents? If grandmas are remarried it could explain why grandkids can’t stay over. A lot of men don’t like to feed and house what’s not theirs. Jmo

I am a grandparent and I watch my grandchildren when I want to watch my grandchildren.


Personally this generation of grandparents kinda suck. They NEVER watch there grandkids.

With that being said. YES your are the ahole

  1. i feel thats asking to much. Maybe once a month?

2)how you want to have it every other weekend. Is honestly a luxurious. Find and pay a babysitter for that.

Man if y’all wanna go out every other weekend y’all need to hire babysitters then. Your guys parents aren’t build in babysitters. And obviously you going out more than you saying if y’all parents say you need to be home with him more. They probably do want to spend time with their grandchild but not as a babysitter. So if y’all wanna go out then you guys need to do what other parents do which is find a babysitter and pay the babysitter

I have 3 kids 1 grandson and 1 grandchild on the way I’m sorry I love my kids love my grandson, but I work I like weekends too and every other weekend thats the arrangement my parents had when they split up, pay a babysitter. Sorry

As a grandmother myself,I love my grandbaby with all my heart, but if I was asked to do an overnight every Friday or every other,I would have to say no as well. I’m keeping mine this Saturday night, and I’m happy to do so, but I work and here recently, Saturday night is my only free non work night for the weekend. Your parents love your kids, but you must remember that they also have lives of their own and that’s quite a bit of time you are asking for. They are right that it’s not their job to do that, I’m sure they don’t mind to do it sometimes, but not all the time.

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Not every weekend maybe once a month. They raised you there time is done. I do believe grandparents aren’t what they use to be either. But in reality every weekend is asking alot. We are lucky for one overnight a year!

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Yes they should want to spend more time with him but when they want to. They raised their kids, it’s their turn to live a little as well. Grow up and take care of your responsibilities. If you want a night out ask them if they say no they say no but they may say yes every once in a while. It shouldn’t be expected of them tho

I find it weird they don’t want to babysit because mine are overjoyed but I also hardly ask…. but in the end they are right. It’s bs you expect someone to want to do that. Especially if they work. And over night. Kids aren’t easy and as you get older that gets harder.

I think if you want to have time to yourselves that grandparents should want to help I know they have raised their children they say but grandchildren are wonderful

You are absolutely!!! They are not obligated to babysit your kids,do you want to get out …. Get a babysitter

I understand that it’s not their responsibility… but I would love to have that time with my grandkids … esp knowing that I’m helping the parents marriage!

Pay a babysitter! They probably have been keeping them for years already

It isn’t their job… it’s yours. :woozy_face: They can decide whether they want to or not but they are not obligated to.

It’s not that world anymore. Not all Grandparents do what previous grandparents did.

It’s not their responsibility to babysit. Pay a babysitter.


It isn’t there job it’s yours. That’s your problem for wanting to go out every weekend like you stated. Maybe do some family time with your child lmao.
Yeah it’s nice if they want to be involved & help out but they should never feel obligated to.
You laid down & made that baby, your responsibility nobody else’s. family or not.

The amount of people in these comments who don’t know the difference between there and their is alarming.

entitled much? yes youre wrong. your children are not theirs. They did their time caring for their own kids. YOUR kids are YOUR responsibility. Not theirs. You want that time out, pay a babysitter. But its neither your parents or his parents job to take care of your kids like that.

your attitude, probably has a lot to do with it too.


Yes you’re 100% the AH. It’s not their job to babysit. You had the kid, he’s you’re responsibility. Partying every weekend is over. Grow up.

There is a reason why your parents don’t want to “babysit” I think you need to look at the big picture here .you didn’t give enough information .is your child uncontrollable? Are your parents elderly ,sick or something that would cause them to not want to be left alone with your child ? There has to be more to this story than them not wanting to spend time .

By your tone, I can see why your parents don’t want to help you out. You sound exhausting….


Yes you are wrong!! Not their job to babysit your kids.  Get a babysitter.


As much as it sucks its their choice. My boys grandparent doesn’t allow kids to stay the night and that’s her boundary. She barely spends time with them anyway. But there will come a time when they wish they had a relationship with their grandkids and look back on their choice wondering why they won’t/don’t come around…


My mom is passed and my father is an convince father. My ex husband’s family lives in another country. They are right and it’s not their job. But have you thought of switching daycare services with a friend or another family member?

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Yes they should spend time with the grandkids but not so you can go out on the drink
I’d say there’s more to this story than we are being told


They are right! You are a spoiler brat! The last time My man & I got on a ‘date’ was in 2019! :joy::joy: we choose our kids not our parents.

I think Ur right wanting to spend time as couple it destroys relationships sometimes, if they don’t want over night why not suggest few hours so still get out even if walk together or quick tea and if problem maybe babysitter u trust or a friend n u can return the favour for them. Xx

I have mine almost every weekend and I love having them with me! I would much rather have them with me than someone that would hurt them.

Lmao they are not your personal baby sitters and it’s sad you expect them to be. You both need to grow up. Y’all decided to have this child now be parents! if you want so many nights out, hire a damn baby sitter and stop treating your parents that way. Shame on you…

So each grandparent would babysit once a month for y’all to go out every other Friday and they can’t make that happen? That’s wild. Today’s family dynamics suck lol. Get ya a babysitter. It is what it is girl.

Ok, accept their decision.

Remember this behavior when they need your help.

As they age they will need you and I would let them figure it out on their own

Don’t lift a finger for them.

Do only what works for you.

You sound entitled and your really not, these are YOUR children not theirs… yes it would be nice for them to babysit, but they most certainly do not have too. You should of thought about that before having children. So I wouldnt really say its BS

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Not their job to babysit every time you want to go out. Just hire a sitter.

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Is this a serious question? You can’t force them to watch the children you chose to have! My parents love to watch my kid, and once a week we go out so they get alone time with her, but if they said no we would take her with us.


It’s technically not their job and they shouldn’t be expected to do it BUT that’s ridiculous imo. If it’s only every other weekend and only 1 weekend night then that means each set of grandparents would only have to watch them 1 night a month. Unless your kids are undisciplined aholes I don’t understand why the grandparents wouldn’t want them once a month. There’s gotta be more to this if neither set of grandparents want them. Do you have like 8 kids who cry n yell n spit n fight all the time or something?

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“AITA for thinking my parents should want to babysit?”. Why yes. Yes you are. I can’t even believe this is a legit post. You sound beyond entitled.

They don’t have to do anything, they raised their kids, now this one is yours. Pay for a babysitter, you should not expect them to just want to do it because you want to go out, what if they want to go o ya t, I mean they have no responsibilities :person_facepalming::person_shrugging::person_shrugging::person_tipping_hand:

they don’t HAVE to do anything.

You can all get babysitting. My dad the same will not look after my kids but I know why that all good . I have 2 babysitting I call if I need help . Find good babysitting that you know . Good luck :+1:

Honestly just give up asking. It’ll never change been there done that already look for pId help. Ideally grandparents wouldn’t mind taking their grand kids overnight once a week if their work schedule allowed. IDEALLY. but we do not live if an ideal world.

They should but they don’t. Don’t have to like it but it is what it is.

The entitlement is real. Yes you are the real a##hole.

You, my friend, are ABSOLUTELY the asshole!! :woman_shrugging:t2::woman_shrugging:t2::woman_shrugging:t2:

You’re wrong. That kid is yours not theirs. Hire a babysitter.

Put the kids to bed, have a movie night , cook a meal together. You don’t have to go out on the town.
Your children are not your parents responsibility. 2x a month is a lot to expect from them , they can spend time with your kids on their terms . They already raised their kids .


I’m a grandparent and love being with my grandsons. That said it’s not my job to watch them I’ve raised my kids and if I wanted some time alone with my husband I hired a sitter. I never asked nor expected my parents to watch my kids. I would wait for them to ask me to have them overnight. They have their life too.


I try and keep my grandson one night a month. I still work full time and have other other kids in school. I do it because I want to, and when I have the extra time. My son has never asked me to keep him and he is 1. Maybe change you approach to it. You sound entitled to it, your not.


Every other weekend is a big commitment. Not every grandparent is okay with signing up for over night every other weekend. Sooo I’d say ur in the wrong for assuming they should :eyes:


Though my parents jump at the chance to watch my little man, I think you’re taking advantage. In the 3 years I’ve had my son I’ve asked my parents to watch my kiddo a handful of times. They spend plenty of time with him though. If you are wanting something so frequent, you should hire someone :relieved:


I think it’s wrong to expect anyone to watch your kids, even more so with that frequency. We have an AMAZING support system :heart: I try to limit them watching the kids, to when we really need help, doctors appointments, school obligations, and things that can’t be avoided. They’re always willing to help and try their best but they have their own lives too. We have 3 Littles (3,2, and 9 months) in all of that time, my husband and I have only had them watch kids a few times, for date nights. Anything else has been needed. Even more so with covid, and usually it’s only a few hours. They LOVE have the Littles, but it’s a lot and we understand that. We give as much notice as possible for medical or dental or other mandatory things. And if they say no, I’ve got a friend or two where we will trade off if we can. But date nights that don’t involve our Littles are hard to come by, even our anniversary trips we take our Littles. We like it that way, so that works for us.

For example my 3 year old has an appointment, they won’t let my 2 year old attend. So she will be spending a couple hours with grandma.


You have to respect their decision. But I understand your frustration. I remember spending every weekend all weekend plus some weekdays with my grandparents. Luckily my mom will watch them for me whenever she can if I need her to but she’s the only one. My husbands parents arent like that and my other side isn’t either. I feel like a lot of grandparents or family in general these days aren’t as involved with kids as they should be.

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Wow… expecting your parents ts to babysit at all is AH entitlement. You chose to have kids. You parents and his did their jobs already. I get wanting g to go out, but EXPECTING the grandparents to babysit and getting pissy because they don’t want to makes you an AH. If you want to go out, pay for a babysitter.

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They are absolutely right. Once a month maybe or once every couple of months I could understand. They did their part by raising you and your husbands parents raising him. If you want to go out that much hire a babysitter to go out for dinner and come home.

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I have four kids ranging from 23 years old to 10 years. My youngest was a late in life baby and is special needs. One of my teenagers has mental health issues. I’m exhausted 90% of the time myself. While I will be glad to watch any grandchildren, it won’t be all the time!! I love my kids and I will love my grandkids, but I look forward to the day when I can have time for myself!!

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Yes they should spend time w the grandkids but no you shouldn’t think they are obligated to do it every other weekend. They also have lives. You chose to have kids now grow up and deal w watching them ot get a babysitter. It’s not their responsibility and that’s what you are assuming


How old are these kids? It’s not easy watching little ones when your older. When I raised my kids their grandparents didn’t take them for whole weekends, they would have been completely exhausted after the first day. They loved their grandchildren and did things with them often but that’s a lot to expect!! You are in the wrong with your mindset.

Weather they should or shouldn’t, I would not want anyone that doesn’t want to babysit take care of my kids . I mean not like they will abuse them but just the energy of not being really wanted . Find a good sitter pay them well and have cameras.