I am a hard working woman, I work from home full time, and then side Hussle in photography that seems almost full time. I work sometimes 7 days a week, my partner is a gamer…literally all he does is game. He trys to tell me what to do, for example… got dinner last nigh, I wanted to get fries with my chicken…WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO GET SOMETHING ELSE? He acts like we do not have money, when I am the one who brings all the extra cash in. I make up to 2k a month in shoots alone, my full time job is great . I always feel like when he comes home, I’m walking on eggshells, house is always clean…but one thing can trigger him. He is a great dad, he never has a wondering eye…he has so many wonderful traits. but I cant STAND when he is controlling…he doesn’t even know it…He spends 40 hours a week on his game, and one hour spent with family I can tell he is just over it. I hate walking on eggshells, I hate that he never appreciates all the work I o and $$ I bring… I hate that he wears the pants in the family, when i am the one to do all the extra work just to be told what to do.
Not cheating is the bottom of the barrel, like its just a relationship standard, and he doesn’t seem like that great of a dad if he can’t stand to be around them. To me, I’d put my foot down and tell him to stop telling you what to do, that you’re interested in a partnership. If he has a problem with that, then take yourself elsewhere. You sound like you have it together already and you deserve better than baseline. You don’t need someone like that holding you and your kids down.
You don’t need to be with someone who is controlling. He doesn’t even do the bare min to be a good partner nor parent. He doesn’t cheat… great bare minimum. He’s controlling so whatever positive he does is gone. Be free in a better environment with your kids. Where you can get fries and not be guilted or ridiculed over it.
How much of a good dad and partner can he be if he’s only spending an hour a day with you guys and being controlling in that space of time too? What kind of role model is he to your child when this is the standard you have to deal with? Mum works hard to support her family and dad sits on his game then tells everyone how to act. I hate to be so blunt but if someone you love told you this same story, what would you tell them… that they deserve better? Likely, because it’s the truth.
Tell him the honest truth about all of it and set your standards higher hun. See what happens…he will either shape up or you’ll ship him out
He doesn’t sound like he’s contributing in any way no money, no house/yard work, and no help with the kids. What are losing by telling him to shape up or get out. Better without him than the anxiety you have dealing with him
He is cheating on you with a game. He is cheating you and your children out a happy relationship. No one should have to walk on eggshells in their own home. If he can’t put the game down and be the man he should be why be with him
Suspend his internet!
That’s abuse… you should never have to walk on eggshells around your s/o in a healthy relationship…
Be done. Leave with the kid(s). How can he be such a ‘great dad’ working full time then gaming 40 hours my man is a gamer, not controlling, will pause or drop the game when I speak and surely doesn’t spend that much time gaming.
Put your foot down. Tell him to unplug at certain scheduled times for dinner and family time, there will be no more condescending and controlling comments about your food. He either learn to be a proper partner who is caring and supportive or you are done. Set up expectations, house duties and such and give him clear consequences. Stick to them. Get some savings going so you have some cushion and less worry… then execute. Men appreciate direct communication. They don’t do well with suggestions
Does he not work at all? I don’t think I could tolerate that honestly. That’s financial and emotional abuse.
Being a good dad and not cheating are things that should be a given already. You make all this extra money and work just as much as him if not more. He needs to help you. Be honest with him. Tell him everything you just posted. If he wants to get hostile with you and think and deny controlling you, you need to leave
Sounds like it’s time for some changes. Your peace is worth everything. If he’s only spending an hour with family you won’t be missing anything except the lack of peace.
You sound miserable in your own home! I hate that feeling and believe me I know it well, you should consider having an open and honest conversation with him and if it doesn’t work, move on also the children see and feel the same thing you do
He’s cheating with his controller he chooses that over you and the family!
Is that his job a gamer?
You allow him to wear the pants! Set your boundaries and stick to them. Why are you walking in egg shells like you said you earn more so you don’t need him for financial reasons?
Not cheating doesn’t mean he should be rewarded for that, that’s just decent behaviour! He needs to grow up.
He treats you how you allow. Seems you are more than financially capable of taking care of you and your kids. Make it simple. Explain not only is his attitude out of line with the financial role he plays in the family but is just out of line end of story. Thank him for making you see the success you can have without his help and then let him know he has 14 days to begin noticeable changes or you’ll do the solo thing where all your money is then yours.
He’s treating you how you let him treat you!! Find your voice and tell him to drink a cup of act right or get to stepping!!
He doesn’t sound great at all. He’s modeling very poor behavior for the kids and treats you poorly. He’s always gaming. What does he do for the kids? Play video games with them?
Change the way you allow him to treat you. Set financial and emotional boundaries. This situation is unhealthy for everyone.
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. Say you want to have 3 bank accounts Yours , His , shared . You both put in the shared act whater you have worked out for Bill’s and kids then you each have your own act .
I left my ex for his gaming problem and many other things. Best thing I ever did
Time he grows up and puts the game down . Family 1st if he can’t stop playing the game he needs help.
Eventually I got to the point where I said “If I am going to do everything myself. I may as well just do everything by myself.”
Try to talk to them first. If they are not receptive. Don’t waste your time. It’s so not worth running your self ragged over… Trust me.
You need to have an adult conversation with your House mate….
Open your eyes. See the audacity
Does he work? Even if he does, please leave. He has an addition.
I’m going to be very blunt because I was married to someone exactly like this. It took so much of a toll on me,￼ I almost had a nervous break down. ￼
You need to understand that he’s￼ not a great dad if he treats you and/or speaks to you that way. Even if this only went on when the kids weren’t around, the fact that you’re walking on eggshells alone let’s me know that you’ve already started to alter your personality so as not to set him off. Since there’s no rhyme or reason to what sets him off, it doesn’t matter how clean you keep the house or how many meals you cook or how much money you make, he will always find a reason to be pissed off and verbally abusive.
It’s never about what he says it is. It’s about control.
It’s always about control. ￼
I don’t know how old your children are but eventually,￼they’re going to be preteens and teenagers. On the off chance he’s not already treating them this way, believe me, he will.
If you have a daughter, you’re pretty much guaranteeing that she’ll look for a partner who treats her the way her father treated her mother and your son will wind up treating his partner that way too. So if you think you’re doing your kids a favor by staying together, trust me, you’re not.
This is not a partnership nor is it a healthy relationship. Eventually, your children will mirror￼ that.
Take all of the money you’re making from your side gig, and put it into an account for a good attorney.
Protect your kids;
Protect your money; and
Again, I’m sorry I was harsh especially since I don’t know you but like I said, I know this guy.
I wish you the best.
Well the macho man who likes to play his games more than being a family man needs a wake up call… if he wants be in control you move out with the kids and leave him to it.take all what’s yours get your own place and enjoy your life. He knows you love him so he wants to be the kid as well was that in your marriage vows .obviously you are showing that your independent of him so he needs to say something… don’t for God sake let him control your money cos girl you have lost your independence…so sad that men need to be in charge of everything then whinge later about things. Marriage is a shared responsibility especially with developing children who by the way will be taking in what’s happening with you two. Think about them.
He’s a great dad but spends one hour a week with his family:thinking: ok
You just need to tell him straight, either you’re in charge or you leave
Sounds like you already know the answer to your problem… You don’t need a bunch of random people to justify it for you. Best of luck
Sometimes I refuse to believe these posts are serious.
Mine was like that and still
Is and was cheating ea with someone on game
Sit down and have a conversation with him about how u feel. No one in particular should wear the pants in any relationship or marriage regardless of who brings the income into the house. U shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells either. I worked full time for years until I became disabled in 2017 and my husband was a stay at home dad he spent many hours gaming. I would come home eat dinner and then either I sat down and gamed with him because kids were already asleep or if I didn’t want to I let him get to a save point and then he would get off the game and spend a little time with me before we went to bed for the night. Now my husband works full time and I’m a stay at home mom. Now I cant do much around the house as I can barely walk or grip/hold things so my poor hubby not only works full time but he comes home and cooks dinner and also cleans house but our kids have chores so they help keep house clean also while I feel useless as a mother and wife. My hubby considers me taking care of the house bills and handling our finances from our joint account as me contributing to our house it just hits different with me. My husband has never once questioned me getting anything as far as food because he has always loved the fact I eat instead of saying oh ill just have a salad lol. The only thing my husband will question sometimes is when he asks what im getting from a restaurant and I tell him he will say are u sure u want to do that because uk it messes with ur stomach most of the time and I dont want u to feel miserable for eating that but if ur sure u want to eat that then go ahead and get it. Sometimes I rethink it and change it because I’m like ya know he’s right I don’t want to feel miserable from eating that when ik it makes me feel that way lol and other times I decide yes thats what I want its been awhile but the misery is worth it this time lol. My point is sit and have a conversation telling him how u feel, how he’s making u feel, and how it seems like he’s checking out of the marriage because of what he’s doing. Talk about making changes and seeing if he can do better and put more effort in instead of gaming more than spending time with family. Uk tell him u don’t mind him gaming but u would like him to spend more than just an hour with family see if u can compromise it and get more instead of him being just stuck in gaming just don’t aggressively approach it because u don’t want to make him feel like ur attacking him over it because it could go wrong super quick approaching it aggressively and in an attacking way. U want to try and diffuse and improve with better results than make things worse. If u can’t agree or things don’t get better then maybe reconsider that ur marriage is probably at a point where u just go separate ways if hes not checked in anymore. Gaming does reduce stress and get things out as well as helps them clear their head. I used to be a gamer too so I understand that but excessively is too much especially when u do that over spending anytime with family. Like I said maybe join him and play too or come to an agreement with it somehow where he can still play but he’s off it when u get off work or getting him to understand he can still play but he needs to give more time with family than he does the game. Good luck with this!
As one of my best friends told me you can only let someone treat you as bad as you let them!!
Run!!! Like ever before
Don’t put up with it.you deserve better xx
How do you call someone like that a wonderful dad? Marriage is a 50/50 partnership. Dont you think you and your kid deserve better?
Take your kids and get out of there. You’re basically a single mom anyway, it will be much better for all of you if you go your seperate ways and co-parent. Staying together for the kids does more harm than good. You’re worth so much more than this.
Does he watch the kids while you work fulltime? Does he make money from gaming? If he sits at home just gaming and nothing else than he has NO say in what you do with YOUR income, as long as bills and kids come first…
Almost sounds like you have a foot out the door. Obviously, you can support your family. Maybe it’s time to stand up for yourself. By yourself
Take his game away
Sit him down and express how you feel and if he can’t understand how you feel then think about your options
Leave him. Right now he’s nothing but extra baggage. U can leave him, and him still be a good dad to the kids.
Stand your ground with him, or leave…
Tell him what you just told us. If nothing changes, take out the trash and wash your hands.
As long as you allow it this is your life. If you are married to him and you have allowed him to not work and game all day for years on end and you divorce you are going to have to pay him. You decide how you want to live.
That’s your own fault for letting him take advantage of you. He only thinks of himself. Sounds narcissistic as well and is gaslighting you. What do you actually need him for? Like keeping a tumor on purpose.
I can’t believe how many women have losers like this aaaand think it’s a good idea to breed with these wastes of air.
Where has common sense gone?
Get legal opinion. Shake the tree.
Sounds like he is insecure
Girl put your foot down if you are the one who makes all the money stop paying for games and stop paying for his online subscription. Then he wont be able to play his games. Once that is done sit his ass down and tell him how it’s going be from now on
He is a narcissist. Boot his butt to the kerb.
Stand up for yourself, And don’t let him control you or you will be extremely sorry. You need to set an example for your children to show them exactly how they need to be treated.
Get rid of him.
Why are you still with him?
You sound miserable and like you are doing it as a single mom. If he makes you be a single mom while he sits like furniture on the game you may as well leave and save way more money and he can learn to get up and make money and get off the game.
Why would he work and be the breadwinner when you do everything. You’ve spoilt him. He is accustomed to this lifestyle. Put him out on his ass and he may behave better
Why is he a stay at home dad?
Dump the dead weight partner.
Ewwwww get rid of the leech
He’s not wearing any pants he’s shitting in a depend while he sits on his ass trying to tell you what to do. Stand up for yourself and tell him to man up or move out.
Communicate these grievances with him.
If he sees no issue/ doesn’t want to change: leave.
No-one should ever feel like they’re being controlled by their partner.
The fact that he doesn’t cheat isn’t a redeeming quality, that’s just something that should be standard in a committed relationship. It seems a though you’re grasping at straws to find good qualities about him.
Dump his ass and the right man will come along and appreciate all your hard work and match you step by step.
When he comes home from where?
Also if you are the only one making money stop paying for his gaming and everything else
No income means no luxuries
He only wears the pants because YOU LET HIM