Am I a bad wife for not liking my husbands sister?

I need advice. Am I a bad wife cause I don’t like my husband’s sister? He was in the Military, so we stay about 20 hours from his family. I’ve only been around his sister three times. Before I met her, she would talk to me on Facebook a lot, then I met her, and she didn’t say one word to me at all. My husband wanted to take her kids to school one morning, and she has to be there, which was fine. It was only me, my husband, her, and her daughter, and his truck is a five-seater. Well, she has me stay at her house alone while they took her daughter to school. I’m not a house sitter, and I felt very unwelcome. My husband and I went back home a few weeks later we found out I was pregnant and then I lost the baby. Two months later, my husband and I got married, and she was so upset about it and told him he shouldn’t do it since I lost the baby. I was upset. Felt like she was saying since I couldn’t carry my baby to term, I wouldn’t be able to be a good wife. I let it slide. Fast forward a few months this, and I get pregnant again. I lost that baby as well, and she told my husband I shouldn’t even tell anyone when I get pregnant cause it doesn’t last. I’m sorry, but it doesn’t matter if my pregnancy lasts or not. That was MY baby. My babies matter to me, and I refuse to let someone make me feel bad that I was pregnant. We’re visiting his family now, and we met up with his sister and her kids at the park. Again she ignored me and acted like I wasn’t there. Well, tomorrow he wants to go to her house and see her for a little while, so I told him to go ahead, but I’m not going. He kind of got upset and says he’s not going to go now cause I’m not going. I kind of feel bad cause I know he hardly ever gets to see his family, but at the same time, I’m not going to go somewhere and feel uncomfortable or disrespected. To add both times, she told him that stuff he hasn’t said anything to her about being disrespectful. I feel like my feelings don’t really matter, and if I don’t go, he’ll make me feel guilty about it.


His sister is very disrespectful also callous.anytime you lose a baby that was going to be welcomed it is heartbreaking. She should have been more sensitive of you feelings . you have a right to feel the way you do . hubby needs to talk to sissy and set her straight

What your husband is NOT doing is concerning. How is it that he does not defend his wife? He should be grateful that you are being the bigger person and bowing out but giving him the opportunity for him to spend time with his sister. If he can’t do that then you guys need to have a different conversation.

He should be putting his foot down when it comes to the way his sister treats you. You are one, and are a reflection of each other. She don’t respect you means she don’t respect him. Have a conversation with him and let him know how you feel.


No don’t feel bad about not getting along with his sister! I don’t get along with my husbands sister, she think she’s the head of everything! My husband is now deceased & yes they straightened out their differences but her & I have not! Your marriage is between you & your husband nothing to do with her!


Let him know how you feel and how his sister treats you that last few times.
Now that he is aware he can look for this treatment she does and since he witnesses it ask him to speak up and defend you.
After that he can understand why you don’t want to go anymore

Maybe she’s just protective of her brother. Show kindness. Go with him to his sister’s (I’m sure he wants to see his niece/nephew) and strike up convo with the SIL. Maybe there’s some misunderstanding. Maybe hubby can hang with kids while y’all grab a cup of coffee somewhere. Make an effort then you’ll have no regrets in the end if she still turns a cold shoulder.


You didn’t marry the family! I don’t care what anyone says… if they make you feel disrespected then by no means do you owe them any of your time. Especially since she has proven your presence doesn’t mean anything to her. I don’t play that mess! I don’t need them anymore than they need me and you can love and adore your husband without his sister being in your life

I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Do you have it in you to try to be the better person? Ask her what has happened between the two of you & except her response. If you can’t or her response is not acceptable to you explain your feelings to your husband and tell him you are not going. Then if it where my husband I would add you are more than welcome to go yourself and I hope you enjoy your time with your family but I am not going and if you choose to stay home it’s not on me. Good luck.


First off I’m so sorry you lost your babies !!! I lost my 3 week old to SIDS …however no matter the stage losing a child is never easy…that being said your husband needs to put his foot down with his sister…there is no reason for her to disrespect you like that…my father told me that it was my fault my daughter died because of how bad of a person I am ( fyi he’s a meth addict) but just that I haven’t seen or talked to him or my mother for allowing him to say that to me…I’ll be praying for u …


That’s not good. My husband aint bout to sit back and let anyone disrespect me

If you havent said anything to him about saying something to her, then you should. He needs to give you your place. I do not like my sister in law either, but I’ve had to put her where she belongs myself until he realized that she would try to cause problems. It may take a while they will think the sister is right or not doing it at first.

Seems like you’ve extended the olive branch numerous times. I wouldn’t beg anyone to be my friend, not even my mans sister. Hopefully he understands, and takes your side. You should now be the number one woman in his life, not his sister anymore. I just recently lost my baby too and we had already told everyone. We found out a couple days before thanksgiving and it was so painful. I’m so sorry for your loss and it’s not your fault for the miscarriage. If you need someone to talk to, DM me and we can chat! Keep your head up, seems like you’re a strong chick!


You’re married. You are his priority. You’re business is just that- between he and you. Is there any way to simply ask her if there is something specific that you’ve done to upset her? I mean, what could it hurt? Maybe clear the air… put that ball in her court. If she’s gonna be mean, let her. Not really knowing what is going on for real is stressful.


I get the same treatment!! He was married before and they blame me for them not getting back together! He would let them talk about me ans never said a word until I threatened to take the kids and leave. I got really sick of it. She even went as low as to invite his ex to a family reunion! He refused to go. Who does that?? Good luck. I do know you have to speak up to him and her!

My husband has a half sister and when I met him she had not talked to him in years than his father passed and we had to contact her because she was in the will. She then came to thanksgiving Christmas and visited a couple times over the next year. As soon as she got her inheritance we have not had a visit since. She did contact him and asked for money once after she got a very nice inheritance so I said okay cause she said she would pay it back. Well she didn’t pay it back so I told him no more. Now he says hi here and there on Facebook and she will respond but she never reaches out or makes an effort to see him and that really pisses me off and I let him know it. I took it as she only wanted to have a relationship with him when she knew she would be getting money. So yes voice your opinion on the situation. It is his sister so I don’t tell him not to talk to her but I will not have anything to do with her.

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Don’t feel bad I’m in the same boat I have a sister in law that hates me for a reason I don’t know why. I don’t go around my husband’s family I stay away from them way too much trouble for me. Finally after 13 years I stood up for myself after I found out that she was going around telling people that I’m sickly and that I’m dying. I went off on her said some pretty bad things and have never looked back. His family is not welcomed in our home and his dad is just like his sister.

Sorry you lost your babies. His sister is trash. Please tell him to go visit his sister’s. You do not like her she don’t like you!! So why force it!!! Tell him you love him. And go on somewhere

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You gave it many chances. You have every right not to go around. I’ve seen a quote multiple times that really always stands out to me “Yes the family they came from is important, but the one you’re building should be your top priority” don’t beat yourself up, you don’t have to go around if you aren’t comfortable :heart::heart:

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So sorry for your losses. You need to get up in her face and ask her,“did I do or say something to offend you?” Get it out there. Maybe it’s a misunderstanding or miscommunication but get it out there.


Well u tried and she is rude to u and all no respect or support after u lose your babies wow thats wrong . It’s like she’s jelouse of you and her brother.

Nope, don’t feel bad. You have tried. Why put yourself in an uncomfortable situation. He should understand, if you have explained things to him and how you feel. You definitely aren’t a bad wife!

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It won’t ever change. Ever. Decide now if you can be happy with exactly the way things are. If your honest answer is no, walk away now while you can. I’m not trying to sound cold. I am still 14 years in dealing with this crap. And I could tell you some very hurtful and ugly things that have been done and said to me, never not once to be stood up for by my husband. And he never will.


I’ve been married 6years and I’m almost in same predicament but I’m not pregnant and he puts his family first ahead of me so my advice find some one else that treats you better just shop around and keep your self pure good luck and put God first

I’ve seen a few comments saying your hubby needs to grow a pair and I couldn’t agree more!! Your SIL is over stepping her boundaries with her comments…and needs to be checked! I’m sure it’s uncomfortable for your husband but you two are married which makes you the priority. When you are disrespected he is also; he may just not see it that way.
I’ve learned in laws will NEVER change. I’ve grown VERY thick skin for mine and don’t allow comments to bother me. But it does bother me when my husband doesn’t check his family. Its def a tension driver… good luck and pray on it.
Ps: so sorry you’ve suffered losses… I understand that also. Best wishes to you in the future


Dont go!!
And if he chooses not to then he made the right decision! He should put you before everyone with God being the only exception🤷‍♀️

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I married into a weird family they weren’t tight but hated outsiders. I am 5 years older than my husband and I had a kid. I was the perfect example of what they did not want for their brother/son. Fast forward 12 years and he still chooses me.


My husband walked away from his whole family for 5 years because they thought I was a high nosed city girl just because I was raised in Miami Florida and he was raise in a back woods southern town. After we left from there and came back they took the time to really get to know me. So he really needs to put his sister in her place and if he doesn’t it’s time for you to walk away before there are children involved.

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Your husband needs to address this. What does his mom say?

My sister in law hates me too! She said a lot of mean things I just try to not let it bother me and be the bigger person and show her I’m not the things she said about me

I wouldn’t go either and my hubby and I would be having words for him not telling his sister to stfu and keep me and my babies out of her mouth.

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I would confront her. Don’t leave it up to your husband. He may not want to get involved, because he doesn’t want to hurt either one of you. Or doesn’t know how to approach the situation. Stand up for yourself and see what she has to say. Maybe you both can clear the air and start fresh. Remember no one is a mind reader. If you don’t tell her how you feel and ask her what the issue is you won’t be able to move on. If you can work it out, then great if not then at least you made your peace. Also, let your husband know that you will be opening up to her that if she is not willing to meet half way, then its on her and you will not visit again.

I hate my boyfriends mom because she is controlling, I don’t see anything wrong with it as long as you have logical reasoning which sounds like you do

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Not liking your husbands family member doesn’t make you a bad wife. Cheating, lying, not contributing to the marriage along with other things makes someone a bad spouse.

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Why does your husband tell you what she says? He should probably keep that to himself if he isn’t willing to stick up for you. I would probably stay home because it is not worth the stress. If he wants to go let him go but tell him why you don’t want to go. Because at this point the sister and I would have a talk if I went.

A lot of people don’t tell others they are pregnant until after the first trimester so I don’t see a problem with that. Maybe she asked him if he wanted to get married because she thought he was marrying you because you were pregnant ? I think you are being sensitive and why is he telling you these things his sister said?

No this is not a perfect world but be respectful for your husband’s sake

You are nicer than me. I had one person say something about my angels and I LOST it. Fuck her. And he can get with the program or get off it.

Well hunny than I’m a bad wife too. Lmao. I hate my husbands brother and sister n law. As a matter of fact I hate his whole family. Except momma and daddy. His whole family is nothing but drama and rats. I hate them.

This is between you and your husband, noone else. Losing babys is a very difficult thing. Talk to your obgyn and see if you can use testosterone suppositories. Thats what I had to do and I was able to carry all 4 to term. Big healthy kuds now in their 20’s no side effects.

your hubbt should tell his sis to shut up or he will not visit

He needs to stick up for you and tell her that you are his wife and always will be whether she likes it or not and that she needs to respect you and keep her mouth shut.

I put up with my husbands 4 narcissistic sisters fir years trying to have them accept me. They ere the evil twisted people and we walked away. Best day of our lives. You deserve better and YOU ARE HIS WIFE!!!

Tell him 2 go but tell him how u feel u cant keep it in bc then itll just bottle up

He should stand up for you. You are his wife

Better grow a backbone honey. If you don’t like the way your husband’s sister behaves tel her so in a way that you feel is “respectful”. She’ll either comply or not. You are obviously hypersensitive. By the way, the babies are also your husband’s You don’t seem to be very interested in his feelings about anything.


Have you told him how she makes you feel?And no you are not being a bad wife,if you dont explain to your husband it will just get worse.


If you don’t want to go, then don’t. If he chooses not to go, that’s on him.


I’m going through the same thing with my husband’s sister. She moved in with his ex wife and thinks I’m supposed to be okay with that. She’s always making comments about the ex wife to me and blaming me for my husband and his son not having a good relationship because of me. I hate her and I will never get over that and I don’t care how he feels about it.

If not liking your husband’s sister(s) is wrong, then I’m the champion of wrong.


It’s hard when you don’t get along well with the in laws, but I don’t have too say life does get better trust me after, not getting along with in-laws after 10 years of marriage too me and my husband we now get along very well it does get better try too be the better person and talk even when Boone’s listening and be nice

Nope, you shouldn’t feel bad at all, & if your husband won’t speak up, then you definitely should.

I cant stand one of my SO sister and the other one I adore

I completely understand your position. I would not go either.

This happens with alot of Families
especially with In Laws.Be Yourself
If They don’t Talk to you it’s on them.

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I dont like my SIL either sometimes lol

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Some in laws just suck.
My husband don’t talk to his mom or sisters anymore.

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No! You are not a bad wife!

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I don’t like mine’s mom

No the hell u aren’t u can like and dislike whoever the hell u want to

Hate and discontent benefit nobody! Be the bigger person!

U married him not his family.


I wouldn’t go either, and the next time she tries to invite herself over, I’d tell her straight up to keep her ass at home.

And if your husband wants to get slick about it, he can sleep on HER couch.


To thine own self be true

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Jennifer Melton first sentence I thought of you :rofl:

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she’s evil
Keep your precious self safe :pray:t4::pray:t4::pray:t4:

My husband family treats me the same way the only time l see them is Christmas and l set by my self no one cares really that l am there and l would do anything for them so l just stay at home and he goes to see them plus l am a Christian Women and most of them dont believe in God and they laugh at me about that.

Sometimes you have to just be The Bitch… get your point across that you dont have to put up with Bs or her drama. Sounds like shes a jealous person. I would let him know how you feel but also let him know you wont be treated like that. He needs to see her treat you bad and then say something about it to her. Hr needs to know how you feel though.

Maybe you need to sit down with this woman over coffee and have a frank talk. Let your husband know what your going to say and let him know you expect his full support. Bluntly tell her your feelings and let her know how her actions are making you and your husband feel. Not going to see someone is hard on everyone. Maybe she could at least put on her big girl panties and be cordial to you at family get togethers for your husband as nd sake.

Some of y’all sticking up for the evil sister in law must be the evil sister in law because that bitch should be put in check. You never talk about a person’s child…ever. And not for nothing the brother should’ve smacked her in the mouth for that bullshit as an insult to him as those were his children too. Idk I don’t deal with that shit and at this point don’t even give a fuck about her. Tell your husband to see his family by him damn self. If he wants you to go as his support he needs to be a better support and defend you. It’s sickening how the husband’s family is allowed to mistreat the wife while the wife’s family treats the husband like a guest. It’s disgusting. It should be equal.

You dont marry the in laws u married him. If she can’t except it then brush it off. Kill her with kindness.

I think it’s straight up B.S. that she’s treated you like this and your husband hasn’t said anything. He should ALWAYS stand up for you!!! And it is not your fault your babies became angels! She is a disgusting human being for even saying that. I wouldn’t want anything to do with her either. She obviously has nothing of value to give you so don’t see her anymore!! Your husband can either have his wifes back or he can go without you! Stay strong girl! Don’t let her toxicity affect your life! She’s not worth a second of your time.

You’re not bad. She’s being a petty bi*"#. Her brother should put her in her place. YOU come first…

Don’t put yourself in the situation,he should actually stand up for you regarding his bitch sister and understand how you feel. Don’t waste your time being miserable about her, she sounds like a loser to begin with

Wow! I’m so sorry for your losses, first of all. I know how traumatizing it is to go through even without horrible comments like that being made. I would sit your husband down and tell him exactly how you feel if you haven’t already and that I’d he expects you to be around his sister then he needs to have a talk with her about being respectful. If she’s not I would honestly just be blunt straight to her face that she shouldn’t talk to you that way.

I think u should have a talk with her and ask her why she’s treating u bad, you dont have to like each other but u should be able to be nice when u together out of respect for her brother and u husband.

First and foremost, your feelings are valid and your babies did/do matter!
Secondly, you told him you didn’t want to go see her but did you tell him WHY? Did you sit him down, face to face, and calmly explain why you don’t want to see her and why you feel this way? Not an in passing conversation, a real and honest conversation…? He might think you’re trivializing something bc he doesn’t see/remember all the past times she’s been rude/mean/disrespectful. Guys aren’t the smartest sometimes when it comes to feelings. Lol.
Also, have you asked her if she has an issue with you? Have you asked your husband if his sister has an issue with you? I feel like a lot of this can be solved by better communication. Good luck!


If you don’t want to go, then don’t go. Sounds like she treats you like crap. I wouldn’t want to be around her either. If your husband gets mad at you then he needs to get his priorities straight because you and your feelings should always come first before anyone else’s. I read a post a week or so ago that said “you deserve a partner who isn’t afraid to hurt other people’s feelings to protect yours” and I think that’s very true.

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You don’t have to like your husband’s family. I’m only tolerated because I have his kid and I have no issues letting them know the feeling is mutual when they get snippy about it.

She was rude and insensitive. If your husband tries to guilt you over not getting along with her, remind him if what she’s said and done. It honestly sounds like he’s taking your side by deciding not to go if you aren’t comfortable, but I’m not there and tone changes everything.


Stand up for yourself. Tell her. Then let her go… You are worthy and enough.

I don’t like my husbands sister cuz she stays on dope and offers it to him. So she isnt allowed around. Ur sis in law sounds like she has a problem. Address it. Try to work it out. If she doesnt wanna, cut her off if u want. Just my opinion.

Fuck that, she sounds miserable. Do not ever go somewhere that makes you feel unwanted, regardless of who it is. He can go visit her on his own. If he can’t understand why you don’t want to go than he can have his own pity party. You do not need that kind of negativity in your life. Don’t fight about it just explain how terrible her presence makes you feel. I am terribly sorry for you loss. Keep your head up moms and protect your energy.

I absolutely hate my fiances little sister and dont give a single fuck who knows or has an opinion on the matter. Shes toxic to him and I made it very clear she was not allowed around our children. We are getting married and shes not invited.

You should never apologize for how someone makes you feel. Your feelings are your right.

It sounds that the siblings were tight at one time and and he probably did alot for her…but now that he married she can’t get it her way no more…when she ask u to stay housesitting and u said no and ur husband back u up she lost control…as long as ur husband got u :100: don’t worry…he said if u don’t go I’m not going…be proud…anyway if she keeps it up…u may have to give her a code red…lol ask your husband he’ll know what that is… good luck

Nope, I don’t like my sister in law

I wouldn’t go and I would also make it very plain that I felt disrespected

He shouldn’t be letting his sister talk shit about you. Period.

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He can’t blame you for his choice not to go. If he can’t stand up for you, the children you both have lost and your marriage then I feel you’re going nowhere fast.

There’s no marriage if you hold no value in his eyes .

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I would just ask her point blank in front of your husband as to why she feels the ways she does.


I haven’t spoke to my own brother for almost 10years because of the comments he made during one of my miscarriages. Totally disrespectful. You dont have to “like” anyone they arent a post on facebook.

Wow she is very insensitive, you have every reason not to like her. I’m so sorry for your loss shes a pos

My husband I have been together for 8 years in June, married 3 in March. We started hanging out when I was 15 and he was 16.5, didn’t start dating until the following summer. His mom never cared for me but he wanted to be around me so he spent most of his time at my house. When he was a senior in high school he though about applying to the military. I told him he couldn’t go because I couldn’t be away from him. He decided not to because he didn’t want to lose me. His mom told me I was the reason he’d never have a good life. She’s always been super judgy but that’s just how she is. If his family is rude or makes me feel uncomfortable he’ll bitch at them. He doesn’t put up with it and he sets them straight on his wife and daughter(and any future babies) come first no matter what. I would ask your husband to talk to his sister about it. I’m sorry to hear about you losing your babies. I couldn’t even imagine. It sounds like your SIL is a bitch and needs to be set straight. Cuz that’s pretty messed up she’d say something like that when you lost your babies.