Am I being manipulative?

Unless it’s in your custody agreement or he has him more than 50% of the time he can’t claim him.

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He just wants a tax deduction. He is required to give 50% of the child’s

care to take him as a deduction . Since he
doesn’t, he can’t take him. Why should he be able to take your refund? You need that money for your son. File day so the IRS has your claim first.

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Quite the opposite, you’re being manipulated. He wants the tax benefits, but doesn’t want to be bothered with the child. Why would you let him claim the child if you have/take care of the child the majority of the time? You deserve that tax benefit to help you raise your child. Why didn’t he make the move if he wanted to see his son more? Again, perhaps because he doesn’t.

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Why would you let him claim your son…if you are the one that takes care of him the majority of the time.You ARE being manipulated.

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If that kid lives with you then you claim him. He is being manipulative by trying to get the money you need to support your son

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Gurl do what u feel is right!! But if u want to be safe & secure on both sides take him to court that way they can’t say u ain’t doing sh$t right!!! JS!!

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Don’t let him claim him- simple. He has him less than a week every month. That money is meant for you and your kid. Don’t let him have your sons ss number!

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Hes trying to use him to get more money. If he lives with you, he should not be claiming him on his taxes. Any stimulous check would go to him.

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Do not let him claim your son. Fuck that.

If you ex claims your son on his taxes, its going to mess your taxes up if you claim him as well. Your the primary caregiver, you should be the one claiming him, not your ex.

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Is he paying support? Do you have a legal visitation through the court? If not get a legal agreement. It’s important in many ways. For now let him keep his visitation. Making sure your child is okay and don’t use him. He needs both parents.

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Don’t let that man claim the child on taxes, you are the primary custodial parent and more than likely pay for most, if not all of his needs. If he can’t be more active in the child’s life why should he get any money from him? That’s crazy imo, no offense.
You can’t force someone to be in your child’s life who doesn’t really put forth any effort or want to be. It sucks but it’s true. You are the one being manipulated here not the so called father. If that man doesn’t have your child ss# don’t give it to him.

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Claim thqt baby today, beforenhe does… hes not entitles to claim him … he doesnt have him enough

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Unless you have other children to claim or you don’t work how is this even a question? Claim your son because honestly he doesn’t have a right to. If he pays child support then he can claim that as a deduction but nothing more. Don’t be manipulated!

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He doesn’t see him enough to claim him on taxes

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Ummm you are not wrong. He has no right to claim him on his taxes. You can get on the irs website and print off or screenshot the rules for claiming kids and give it to him. You will meet the requirements. He won’t.

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I’m stuck on why you moved from Texas to Arizona for a every other weekend father. He doesn’t appear interested in anything more than possible financial benefits. How about you out you and your son first and let his father make some effort. You provide , you claim.

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Dont let him claim your child he wants it for the tax return . That money belongs to you

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You are being reasonable, too reasonable even. If he is inconsistent and only sees the child 4 days a month WHY should he be claiming him. Does he pay for at least 51% of the child needs? Probably not. Sounds like they are using you, and the child.

Thats a big nope for me.

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My son lives with me he is 10 and I support him probably 90 percent. I always claim him on my taxes because I use that money on him throughout the year. If we were 50/50 then I would alternate years on claiming. But of course if you don’t work so you don’t file then I would let him use him.

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Does he pay support!? IF not, nope. :-1: and your taking care of him full time. 4 times a month doesn’t add up to claiming him, unless you got it like that, and can let him just have your tax credit you worked hard to support!

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Nope i wouldnt. You claim him, hes with you and im sure you pay for childcare, clothes… the list goes on and on. If you wanted to you could give the dad a small portion of it. Also if he claims him and doesnt have him full time i think you can report it to the irs.

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Um hell to the no you don’t let him claim him in his taxes, imo that’s the dumbest thing you could do. Just sayin! Tell him to step up and be more confident in his sons life. In my opinion him picking up his son for 2 days here and there isn’t contributing 50% to his well being so why in the world would you even entertain that idea? No way!

You’re not being manipulative you’re being manipulated!!!

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If he only gets him every other wknd, for two days…he doesn’t neef to claim him. Unless your willing. Personally i wouldn’t.

No whoever has the child over 50% of the time should claim the child on taxes

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Ummm if you have your son most of the time then you should be claiming him!

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I’d consult a lawyer. Is it stipulated in your divorce papers who gets to claim him? It was in mine. Hopefully you have his SS# written down somewhere. Try to file your taxes first and claim your son. The IRS will be able to tell if hes already been claimed. I believe, typically, the parent who has the child the majority of the time claims the child unless stipulated in the papers. Parents who have equal time often do every other year.

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You’re too nice! You keep doing you…

Even if he did spend more time with him, do not let him claim him, you should be doing that, you have custody of your child

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Kaela N Tim Howard are correct. Go with your gut instincts, they’re usually right. You moved so your son could be closer to his daddy, you’ve done nothing wrong.

Do you guys have a court agreement?

Jynelle Coronado Exactly! 100%!!

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Absolutely not. My husband and I would never claim our step son on taxes. His mother has SS full time and has every right to claim him on her taxes.
You are not manipulating your ex, you are being manipulated and gaslighted/ taken advantage of.

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Not wrong or manipulative. Most likely he knows that he doesn’t see his child enough or do enough to support him to be allowed to claim him, he just can admit that he should see him more. Can’t actually admit that’s the truth. He needs there to be a reason and it sounds like unfortunately to quote hoobastank, the reason is you. Stick to your guns. It’s not about who’s being manipulated, it’s about facts and taking care of the child.

All he wants is that extra money for that child benefit thing. Don’t let him use you and your son like that.

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Unless it is in court documents, he can’t claim him. As far as seeing his son, you can’t force it, but your having a desire for your son to have a real relationship with his father is normal.
With all the new child tax credits, he’s just trying to make money he does not deserve. He is the one who is manipulating you.

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He lives with you more than six months out of the year then you claim him!!!

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Uh yeah definitely do not let him claim him. I feel that’s also super sketchy of him to even bring up? Is that a perk or something? He lives with you end of story. It’s not manipulative for you to want your child to have a solid father figure in their life.

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Don’t understand why families can’t be like it was in pass where raising kids isn’t all about money. Like House on pairre show.

You… dont let him claim him &… cant force a relationship. Keep it as is.

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The IRS is vlear on how your vhildten are claimed unless the custodial parent agrees to allow the other to claim and it is not simply, just claiming them. There is a specific form that must be attached to the non-custodial parents tax return each year the child is claimed. Just seeing him every other weekend is not grounds for a tax break.

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One thing I have learned from attempting to coparent with a toxic narcissistic ex whom I moved 750 miles away from home so he could have a relationship with his children and still chose not to is that if you have to ask if you are manipulative or narcissistic, the answer is no. People who do crap like that already know what they are doing and their intentions. There is no reason he should get to claim him if he is only doing 10% of the work. Real dad’s and men would want their children to have that rather than have it for themselves and also wouldn’t need you to request they spend more time with them. Period. One thing my last judge said to me is “you can’t make him be something he doesn’t want to be even if you have the best of intentions behind it”. Tell him no and don’t cater to his and his girlfriends games.

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He doesn’t have your son enough to claim him on taxes. The law is he has to have him more than half a year in his household. As far as the whole the whole manipulation thing they are idiots.

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He has to have him half the year or full time to claim him. You tell him he can’t or the IRS will charge him. Only you can claim him on your taxes. 48 days a year does not cut it. They are trying to manipulate you. Not the other way around.

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First, you should be claiming your child on your taxes not him. Second, you can’t force someone to be a parent. My son’s father barely gets him and when he does all he does is spend time in his room all weekend with no interaction with his dad. So I definitely don’t force the issue about him seeing him more because he doesn’t actually spend time with him.

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I wouldn’t let him file him cause after he files and gets that :moneybag: back he will stop seeing him the same way just on his time… no he wouldn’t file my child!

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No you’re not in the wrong. If he’s only getting your son every other weekend, he shouldn’t be claiming him on taxes. You’re not doing anything wrong. YOU support him day in and day out. The tax break is for YOU

No. He can’t legally anyway. To claim a child on taxes you have to pay most of his expenses during the past year! And you would likely not get a tax return. Tell him to stop trying to manipulate the system for money

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A parent who does not want to see their kids everyday, let alone a few days a week, are pieces of :poop:
You did nothing wrong but want a father and son to spend time together… you are being a great mom.

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You literally moved states so no that’s not asking a lot !

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For starters, you shouldn’t be asking his father to spend more time with him. You moved across the country so he can see him. If he wants to see him let him, but don’t force it. Document everything that they’re saying on top of how many times he actually takes him. I don’t think he’ll even be entitled to put your child on his tax papers. He doesn’t see him enough to claim him.

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He’s just wanting the tax money from him without the responsibility that comes with it. Don’t let him claim him on his taxes by law he can’t unless the child has lived with him at least 6 months out of the year or he is paying child support. I went through the same thing with ex husband and he has 2 other kids with his new wife.

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Yeah, no. He’s not legally allowed to claim the child. Kid must live with whichever parent is claiming them at least 6 months out of the year. You are under no obligation, unless legally documented otherwise, to let your child be claimed by his father. And as to your question about being manipulative? Hell no. Asking for the father to spend more time with the child is not manipulation.

If your son lives with you, you get to claim him. Sounds like your ex is only after money

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It comes across (I’m not saying you are) like you’re saying that he has to “buy” the ability to claim the child by taking the child off your hands more…Which in itself does sound manipulative.
Now I realize that’s not exactly what you meant, but that is how it comes across.

These should have been two separate conversations.
Unless there’s a court order in place that dictates otherwise, you need to claim the child because the child lives with you and you’ve provided for the child’s needs for more than 6 months of the year.

Putting stipulations on him claiming your child (again not court ordered), is just going to hurt your child.
Yeah. Maybe he’ll spend more time with him for a while…then he won’t until tax time rolls around again.
Trust me. My dad only wanted me because he was ordered to pay child support. Not because he really wanted me. That kinda stuff really screws with kids once they’re old enough to realize what’s going on. I was 8 by the way.
You want this man to just want to spend more time with his child because he wants to. Not because that’ll get him 3000 extra.

No you claim that child…he’s with you more…

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No way would be let him file your son on taxes. He doesn’t even see your son 50% of the time. Just a few weekends. And the gf needs to mind her business

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You aren’t in the wrong, whoever has him more claims him!

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He’s supposed to be at least responsible for at least half of all expenses spent on the child for him to actually be his dependent

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Even if it’s a court ordered thing there are stipulations and federal tax laws trump the courts.

No! You are trying to better their relationship. However since you have your son most of the time you are supposed to claim him, especially if you provide him insurance, and everything he needs. They just want to take the money and run.

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You literally moved states…. You’re not asking too much and if you have your son the majority of the time you should be claiming him on taxes.

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Uh do not let him claim on taxes. He’s trying to collect while doing the minimum.

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Do you work file taxes? If so screw him I’d claim my child and the relationship with his dad would be on the dad. I wouldn’t have moved for the dad’s benefit of seeing his son. He made the choice. The girlfriend needs to keep her nose out of it! Move back home let him figure out how important his son is.

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Let them figure out their own taxes! No I wud not let them use my kid to get money,sorry.

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U are custodial parent u claim and he doesn’t see all the time if he was seeing like u maybe like u one year him one year. But you should be doing taxes with your child. My ex did 1 year of taxes and I did rest from 26 yr old daughter

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Don’t let him claim him. You’re the custodial parent.

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Every other weekend is 4 days out of the month and they have a problem with more
No way would I let him claim my child

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Sounds to me like youve moved for your ex’s benefit…youve allowed him to come and go as he pleases in the childs life…youre now letting him claim the child on taxes when he isnt the custodial parent. Youre not manipulative. Youre a pushover and your ex is taking advantage of you. Are you still in love with the guy or what?

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Why would you let him claim him on his taxes ? I mean , seriously

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You have the kid more. You should claim him. It is not a hard ask to spend more time with your child. He Just wants the $$.

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1st if u are custodian u claim him u are raising him

  1. Why in the hell would u move for an x believe he moved he should make arrangements

  2. Move back to were u came from bet u have family and friends there don’t walk run away

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When my ex-husband asked the judge if he could claim my daughter on his taxes the judge responded with WHO DOES THE CHILD LIVE WITH. and dummy replied with well with her. The judge replied THEN NO SHE GETS TO CLAIM THE CHILD ON THE TAXES ALWAYS END OF STORY DO NOT ASK AGAIN!!!

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Don’t allow him to claim him

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Do NOT let him claim your son. He goes there maybe every other weekend…if that…

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Get in writing even if y’all on mediction

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He cannot legally claim him on his taxes let him have his time when he wants it become a problem if you try to force it

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Do NOT let him claim him. He legally can’t even claim him if he doesn’t have him half of the time or doesn’t pay more than half of his expenses

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Nope.you claim him…period

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Disregard the GF–– You might hear/read her words but don’t process, retain or care her attempts of gaslighting you. Her opinion is as irrelevant as a stranger’s.
It’s a hard “no” on the taxes––I might laugh, at least to myself, and say that’s funny.
Don’t cater to a very part-time father doing the bare minimum. He sees his son exactly as often as he wants.
Just enjoy your baby boy. Heck, move back home, or where you want to be––it’s your life too. Don’t be a doormat. By your brief story, you don’t sound like you’re being manipulative at all. Don’t allow others to manipulate YOU. :blue_heart:

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Absolutely do not let him claim him on taxes, unless y’all have 50/50 custody then he doesn’t need to be claiming him, it will open up a whole new problem and he will push to claim him or just try to claim him before you each year, that money is for your baby not them. They are gaslighting you to get their way, I’d retaliate with a child support order :joy:

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The parent who has the kid more claims the child. It is a child tax credit for the person who takes care of, houses, feeds, pays for things for the child. They’re being manipulative and just trying to get money for a kid they don’t take cate of.

Tell him no. I always say yes to my ex. I’ve given in to every demand. Holidays, child support, time with him, and I let him (illegally) claim one of our daughters on taxes. Bc he’s mean and I don’t want to fight. Bc I used to be so scared all the time that I was ruining their lives or that I wasn’t doing enough. Whatever dumb reason I have always had to give in. And he still attacks me any time he feels like it (years later.) So just don’t. Just tell him no. No more visitation, no on taxes. Don’t keep accommodating him, especially if that’s his reaction to your request. As much as people will tell you a child needs their father, if he’s a jerk to you he’ll likely eventually be a jerk to your child.

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I wouldn’t let my ex claim him on taxes if I were you. You’re with your son all the time. Why should he get the privilege to claim him?

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I don’t know your state law but being through this personally- whomever has the child more than 50% of the time then that parent gets to claim the children. However, you can always work out a different arrange that u feel comfortable with. I allowed the boys dad to claim them every other year as he helped out with clothes cars and other things. Be creative and think of an alternative plan. If you feel you are being fair and they think you are not well their loss as far as social media. Who cares- surround yourself with people who inspire you to be a better person😉 Do what’s right for you and your son. They are watching out for themselves and it’s clear by his dad not taking your son more especially as a father to a son. They r the selfish ones. Stand your ground! YOU GOT THIS!

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Disclaimer: I’m not a lawyer, but I recommend that you call one. The initial consultation is usually free. Based on your post, you were never married to your ex, so there’s no custody agreement. Depending on state laws, this could mean that he can pick up his son at any time.

Ignore his girlfriend; she has no jurisdiction here. Even if they marry, stepparents in most states have no legal rights. It’s time for a more formal custody agreement, for your sake and for your son’s. As he gets older, he’ll have activities after-school, he’ll spend more time with his friends, etc, and the current ad hoc arrangement won’t work as well. You’ve sacrificed a lot to move to another state so your son can have his father in his life. Young children like structure. They may fight it, but they feel more secure with it. Best wishes.

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Personally, I wouldn’t force ANYone to spend time with my kid. If they’re not doing it out of love or kindness of their heart then forget them. It sucks obviously because it’s his dad but screw him and his gf. Especially if he’s only doing things to get some tax money and not because it’s his son? Claim your son on taxes, if dad pays child support I would give him back what he paid and be done with it. And that’s being nice. Also I wouldn’t do anything else to accommodate him if he’s not even trying to be a good dad.

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If he doesn’t provide over 50 percent of the child’s financial support , he can’t claim him .
You should be .
Letting him do that he’s getting money back that’s owed to you . Don’t let him take money out of his child’s home . Your son needs that .
And you’re asking too much ???
He is a father . He needs to step up

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they want to claim him without doing any of the time , don’t feel manitpulative , feel being used

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They are gaslighting you . Don’t fall into that !

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Definitely not in the wrong. If he isn’t supporting him financially half the time and seeing him half the time you are his provider and need to claim him every year

If u have custody u claim him. No u are doing fine.

I guess I have a different perspective. My ex spent every other weekend, holidays, extra time in the summer, did I have our daughter more, yes.
With that said, we took turns claiming her, per our court order. He would buy her clothes, take her places, help pay for extra things. I didn’t mind because he did what he could and was a good dad.
But…I am confused why he would be so against spending additional time with his son, you shouldn’t force it, but why is he acting like you cut his right arm off?
I would try to brush off his behavior and maybe get a court order to clear up confusion about taxes moving forward.

This is a prickly subject with me. I raised my stepsons children and we really struggled financially to do it, which I didn’t mind. But what I really resented was my husband would never claim them on our taxes, because my stepson was! My stepson was on drugs as well as the baby mama which is why I took them to start with. The babies were ages 6 mo’s, 2 yrs and 3yrs old and we’re really neglected. I raised them all through high school and until they were situated on their own. My stepson never bought as much as a loaf of bread or gal of milk for them let alone a present or card for Birthday or Christmas. We weren’t young, and had raised 5 of our 6 children and our youngest was 11, so we were looking forward to spending time for us after our youngest was gone from the nest. The baby mama never Once called or come to see them!

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They’re playing you.

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That’s absolutely not manipulation that’s literally common sense. Why would he get to claim him on taxes when he’s barely in the picture? If anything their response to you was manipulation at it’s finest.

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Don’t let him claim him if barely sees the kid? What the heck? That’s YOU getting taken advantage of and being manipulated. Absolutely not. You are that child sole care taker. Tell him maybe next year IF he steps up to the plate. Don’t let yourself get walked all over momma.

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Nope if he doesn’t support him more than 50% of the time he shouldn’t claim him! Do your taxes before he does his !

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Dude it your the parent that takes care of him more then 50% fuck that don’t let your baby daddy play you if he can’t agree don’t let him clam him bet the next year will be different. And for the girlfriend tell her to sit down and shut up she only gets an opinion when they get married. Just how it is .

When you file taxes they’ll ask if the child has lived with you more then 50% of the year and receive majority of his support from you. If so you have the rights to claim him. There’s a small space to claim other income for child support. Tell them to F@ck off.

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