Maybe let your mother in law do a party to celebrate the announcement of this baby, gender, play some of the same baby related games. You will still need some things for this baby. What baby doesn’t need basic things,. Let people know what you have in big stuff. Let her plan it or at least help.
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I say if something wants to throw a shower for the baby let them. Free stuff lol
Talk to his mom and whoever about it
It’s not fair to his mom it is his first child if not for you do it for grandma 
she has to be excited 
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Have the shower. Return, exchang or even sell the things you don’t want or need. Let people love you. Enjoy some company, eat some food. You can keep it small. Babies are definitely worth the celebration! Best of Luck 
Maybe ask his mother if she would like the oppurtunity to host it. Being her first grandchild, you have a whole new side of family I bet would love to participate and if anyone who has come to your other showers feels that way, they don’t have to come.
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I would talk to your mother-in-law and see what she says. It’s her first grandchild. She might be looking forward to it as part of the baby experience. If you prefer you can have guests donate the money they would spend on gifts to the charity of your choice. That would handle your feelings of guilt over getting items you can afford yourself and maybe your guests can’t with the economy being what it is. You could still play the baby shower games, have refreshments, and talk and gab and laugh and have fun. It’s a thought….
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Ask his family! Have a casual shower and don’t make a big deal about and you both will be fun. Ideas, diaper shower, have each one bring a book and sign the back of the book for the new baby. Just make it a fun day
For his side of the family I think you should let them at the very least throw him one, if you don’t want one.
What about just having a bbq or get together and register. If people want to buy things, let them but tell them it isn’t necessary
If his mother wanted one it would be kind to have one but if neither of you two actually having the baby wants a shower, then don’t throw one.
I wouldn’t plan one for myself, but if someone offered or wanted to do a “surprise” one I wouldn’t mind so he can have the experience
I’d say ask his mom. Maybe she will want it and it could just be the final part of baby showers!
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Maybe just do a very small family dinner/shower
I would have one if they wanted to or have a diaper shower.
Have a “sprinkle” instead of a shower
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I think if it’s his first child, allow his family to throw a shower
Maybe just invite his family to celebrate your pregnancy…
HAVE THE BABY SHOWER! Never worry what someone else thinks. Maybe it’s his mother and his family the reigns to plan and prepare. Enjoy your third pregnancy and baby as if it were the first 
good luck momma
It is my understanding baby showers are only supposed to happen with first baby’s.
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You could do a Baby Sprinkle since it seems really important to your mom to just celebrate the baby.
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I would ask HIS mother what she wants to do. Express how you feel, but offer her the opportunity to do something.
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Do a gender reveal or a baby Q just to celebrate
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I would have one as it’s his moms first grandchild! & that’s a huge thing. Let’s them have all those first that you had the pleasure of having already. Every baby deserves to be celebrated.
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Naw do it cuz it his first baby and his mom’s first grand baby
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If his family wants a baby shower to celebrate, then have his family throw him a diaper party. Diapers are always a great thing to have…
Have a BBQ and just request guest bring diapers and wipes, and if they bring anything else for the baby that’s on them because you didn’t request it. Still play the basic baby shower games and have cake so it’s like a mini shower.
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Girl have a baby shower. Celebrate the baby. Alspnthe financial situation could cha get really quick
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I think you should go with what you and your boyfriend want,I feel thats what matter. If anyone wants to buy a Gift for baby they can drop it off to you…do what makes you comfortable…most will understand
So talk to his mom and see if she was looking forward to one or not. You can also just do small gifts like clothes or diapers and not cribs and car seats so everyone gets the experience but isn’t paying a bunch for the stuff for baby
Just have a get together to celebrate, a baby spinkle, do some baby games, but let everyone know gifts aren’t expected, but if they want to just get diapers. Celebrate the new baby. You don’t gotta go all out
just because your financially stable doesn’t mean you HAVE to buy everything… I just had my second baby in October of 2021, and my husband and I were and are financially stable and we’re able to buy what ever we needed but people still want to buy stuff … have a baby sprinkle, so for an example you buy the big stuff, like car seat stroller crib stuff like that and let people buy diapers wipes cloths bottles stuff like that … a baby shower isn’t just about you it’s also about the little baby your growing
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Men don’t go to baby showers.
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I would say if it’s important to your boyfriends family/mom then they can throw one for you.
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Do a co-ed baby sprinkle! Celebrate the baby! A lot has changed in 3 years for baby stuff
No shower unless just for his side…
Have one for the Women in His family ! It’s His Mothers 1st Grandchild from Him… Sisters, Aunts, Cousins… it’s the Right thing to do… for them 🖒😊
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Why not just ask both of them then decide. Personally, baby showers feel like a lot of stress. Plus they can be expensive by today’s standard of expectations of attendees.
How can you not enjoy a baby shower? Definitely think you should allow his family the opportunity to have one.
You’re not supposed to throw your own baby shower. So sit back and relax and stop worrying about it. If it’s important to him, his mom or his family, they will throw a shower. If it’s not, you won’t have one.
On a side note, you can have as many showers as you want. Ignore what anyone else says. I had a huge shower for my first pregnancy (twins). Both were girls. Five years later, I had another shower, for my son. A lot of people didn’t come to that one and I heard “didn’t she save stuff from the first one?” No, I didn’t. It was 5 years later, my first pregnancy was two girls, my second one was a boy. The ones that came, came. The ones that didn’t, didn’t. Either way, I enjoyed the day with the ones that did show up to celebrate the baby.
Please note this is her frist grandchild. This is a child that will hold a spot in her heart your other kids can’t.
Please remember this if she slips and shows a little extra love . I know you want them all treated equally but it just doesn’t happen .
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I am 18 weeks pregnant with my second and my husband’s third…its our first together so we are having a baby shower. Well a BabyQ but will still have baby shower games.
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I think talk to his mom since it is her first grandchild. See what she says. We also did a couples thing women and men it was fun
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Every baby is worth celebrating
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Have a shower. The people who have been there before… don’t hold it against them if they don’t come. Embrace his family make it a jack and jill and enjoy them welcoming the new baby!
Ask his mom how she feels 
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Have a baby sprinkle (not a full blown shower just a get together) if his mother wants to be included.
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I would have one just so his family can have that experience as well. I think they would appreciate it. Maybe talk to his mother and ask her how she feels about it, but I really think it wouldn’t be a bad idea. It gives everyone a chance to buy something special that the baby will have. I have kept every stuffed animal, book and card that was given to my children during their baby showers and I tell them who they are from😊
I would have the shower. Get what you can get for the baby and let his family celebrate the new baby. Maybe his mom would like to put it together, since you aren’t picky this pregnancy.
Taking away the fun for his mother is what I see if you don’t have one for his baby.
I didn’t have a baby shower after my first child. I basically got everything I needed and passed it down to the other 3 as they came along… we did welcome home parties for the other 3 instead and if people insisted on bringing gifts, we asked for larger sizes or savings bonds…
Consider having a diaper party. It’s more laid back. Get a few small gifts together and raffle them off. Anyone who brings a box of diapers is entered in the raffle… make a baby registry in case anyone wants to get something else. Just do a cookout and enjoy some family time
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I agree with your Mom. Have a shower for the sake of all the “first time”.
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Have a shower it is his moms first grandchild
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I would think if his side of the family wanted you to have one, they would plan it. Both baby showers I had were planned by other people.
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I would talk to his mom if she wants you to have one then let her plan and do one
Well if she wants a baby shower that bad especially after y’all talked it over, maybe tell her she can throw one for y’all🤷🏻♀️
Have a shower but request no gifts, that their attendance would be a gift in itself! Play some games, have some yummy food, and enjoy some relaxing time with family and friends before the new addition. 
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His fam needs it ; )
When in doubt just ask your boyfriend’s mom what her thoughts are and go from there.
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Yes his family needs to have that experience
Why not have a family shower something baby and something for family.
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Ask his mom h he ow she feels and go from that.
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Let his mama throw you a shower. Different people and it will be fun for all.
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You’re being selfish
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I had one for all of mine and it turned out just fine for all
Ask his mother,aunt,sister etc…have a shower, not over the top.just to celebrate the baby and you and blending of this family.
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Talk to his mom about it…
Take her feeling in to consideration…
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Just have one. Its a time for everyone together. Don’t stress about it.
Make it a co-ed babyshower/ cook out. Have food and games and if they wanna bring a gift they can, if they dont they dont.
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Have the shower!!! Every baby should be celebrated. I have a friend that had her 7th baby we did a diaper party. 10 yrs from now you will love looking back at the pictures and remembering the love from your new in-laws
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Or I would have one love espec if 1 st bubby for boyfriend and his family you will love when u have it xx
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Ask his Mother and that side of the family, they may just have one for them.
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I love your outlook, because really, I don’t believe women should keep getting baby showers… however, in this case one for his family would be nice. You can always include your friends and family with the explanation that you won’t be offended if they don’t join (but then of course you can’t be) or maybe invite previous invited guests with the stipulation that no present required just a book signed by the giver for your family library. Your SO mother and family would probably enjoy a baby shower, and if that’s the case, enjoy being the center of attention for that day with your newest additions to your growing family
Talk to him mom mention you were thinking of just having like a small party or diaper party. I me I feel like any party for a baby would work because you are still celebrating a baby coming into the world. I had a shower with my 1st…nobody really knew I was even pregnant with my 2nd then with my 3rd I was gonna do a diaper party but it was a rough pregnancy so it didn’t end up happening
Ask his Mom what she would like since you don’t care. It may be a reason to have a party and get the family together to celebrate. We didn’t “need” others to buy baby items either so I asked everyone to bring a book instead of a card. At almost 4 yrs old, we are still enjoying all the books that were brought. Have a BBQ and cake and family time 
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No you are not being selfish. I say if someone else wants to throw you a shower then let them, but don’t plan one yourself. Tell your mom that if she wants to throw one for you that’s one thing but you are not going to do one yourself…
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It is not selfish is including this new child in your life and there lives so just welcome them into your life not excluding as a grandparent you want to be apart of there lives I had a friend that a baby shower was given for the grandmother it was awesome the baby and mother were not there but grandmother so please include them in your life
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Have a baby shower every little one should be celebrated. Talk to his mom about it and see what she would like to do and if she would like to plan it.also would be great to have photos taken for memories of you and bump with people y’all care about.
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If she wants you to have one, she can throw it and you can just shut up and enjoy the fact that they want to celebrate the little blessing
You shouldn’t have a baby shower for yourself. Someone should be hosting it in your behalf. But if you don’t want one don’t do it. Nothing says you have to have a baby shower
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Why not just do a small gathering with his family. Dont need to label it an official shower. Have him ask his mom what her thoughts are on it. Communication here is key!
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I always thought that one only has a shower for their first child. So no I would say you are definitely not being selfish
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I say have a sprinkle a mini shower. Where I am all babies should be celebrated. It’s up to you and your husband though.
As someone who just had one and had 35+people say they would be there only for no one but myself and my host(my grandma) show up they aren’t worth it at all. They are a disappointment and depressing
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Do a book and diaper party
Have a small one and make it traditional then. Just the women. Traditionally a aunt or a cousin throws one for you. He sounded like he wasn’t worried about it either way.
Should ask his mom and see how she feels since it is her sons baby and if she feels she would like that experience and if so since you said you all can afford the stuff for your baby then just let the guest know you don’t need presents just come for the party
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Have you thought about talking to his mum yourself? Chances are shes so thrilled with the thought of becomming a grandmother a baby showers not important to her either.
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Have one for his side of the family. Maybe someone on his side will offer to throw it for you. If not don’t worry about it.
I never had one with my first and second but with my 3rd I did and it needed up being on zoom because of covid
How does his mom feel? Go with what she wants
No 1st times matter trust me …have the baby shower…maybe his mother will even want to throw it
Can you ask his mother how she feels?
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Let her plan it and enjoy it
You could have a small one with your mother and mother in law. Play a few games. But if use don’t want one then its your choice. At this point you’d just do it for them really x
Baby showers are normally not for men (though I prefer coed ones) and he won’t care at all if there’s no baby shower. It sounds like your mother wants one.
I’m 30 weeks with #4. I’m having a baby shower. It’s more for others I think. They wanna help and be involved.
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It doesn’t really matter what EVERYONE else wants…what do you and your significant other want?
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Yes have a baby shower…
Im pregnant with #4. This is my husband’s 1st child and him and his family are extremely excited. Have the baby shower boo. People will talk no matter what.