Me and my partner have been together for 16 years 4 kids, 2 oldest arent his but his treated them like his since i met him…their dads arent in their lives. Questions is am i too sensitive over him being quick to grab his phone off me when i pick it up to have a look at what’s on it he wrestles me for it…
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. https://answers.mamasuncut.com/t/am-i-being-sensitive/17506
Could be any numbers of reasons, do not jump to conclusions just be an adult and ask him.
He’s hiding something.
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Def something he dont want you to find
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Ask him why. I would definitely be suspicious.
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When my husband did this he was cheating
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Doesn’t mean he’s cheating necessarily but could mean there’s something in there he doesn’t want you to see
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My question is, why do you want to look at his phone? I would never think of looking at my husband’s. I actually never thought of the need to. I have been married 26 years almost 27.
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From experience, he is hiding something. But don’t just jump to conclusions. Ask him about it first.
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I’d definitely ask him WTF is his problem. what is he hiding
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Wrestling you for it? Yes he talking to someone else, I bet a buck on it!
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Maybe he is watching porn and is embarrassed about it. Regardless I’m not hiding anything but I deserve privacy. Like my girl friends message me stuff that is between just us and is none of his business 
I like how people say just ask him… you can ask and I’m sure he’s going to admit to cheating. 
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That’s real iffy to me 
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Ummmmmm. If you have to ask a bunch of strangers youre prob 100% correct and need to trust your gut more. Red flags a flyin!
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People who have nothing to hide wouldn’t behave that way?. Even if it goes against their feelings about privacy they’d let you see there’s nothing to hide and then have a talk about it.
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Maybe ask? If he doesnt want to show then dont ask. I dont want my husband knowing exactly how much i spend on Ebay…lol.
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Swear, Every woman in history that’s said what you have just now, always ends in the man’ was in fact cheating.
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Definetly something he does not want u to see !
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This is an issue for sure. That kind of reaction is sus.
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Is this strictly a mom’s group? There’s a Michael Fountain laughing at comments. Quite rude and should gtfo
Why do women do this. I never look at my husband’s phone 20 years. Not healthy
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Just ask him. If you have to go thru someone’s phone then you already don’t trust him so.
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Does he reach for your phone to look at it? Doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together or how many kids you have, everyone deserves a little privacy. It’s rude to reach for his phone.
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This happened to me and yes he was seeing someone he met on tiktok and denied it for weeks until every one of their followers knew about it and someone ended up sending me a video of them new years.
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If my SO couldn’t let me loose with his phone for the day, I don’t want him. People that say why would you are probably getting cheated on.
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Girl he’s hiding something duh. If he acts like that over you simply looking or having it in your possession then there’s definitely something in there he’s hiding.
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First….you picking it up to go through it is stuff we did in high school.
Second…him freaking is a red flag because there should be no reason to freak.
It shows you don’t trust.
Oooooo red flag hell no he’s hiding something
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2 things. 1, Why do you need to check, and 2, if he’s that protective, separate
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If it bothers you tell him. If he doesn’t comply leave. It’s that easy.
Why do you want to know what’s on his phone?
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If you don’t have trust you don’t have anything! If you are wrestling to get his phone, you don’t trust him!
So, its a no win. You answered your own Question
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Yes. Would you like it being done to you?
what made you feel like you need to check his phone in the first place?
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Not at all,mine does the same thing,if nothing else it makes ponder
He is definately hiding something.
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It’s obvious you don’t trust him and it’s obvious he’s doing something he probably shouldn’t be doing.
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Ur gut is telling u to check it. Trust your gut…
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Some people just don’t like people going through their stuff … I have nothing to hide but that is my personal phone / space. Why do you need to look through the phone
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No need to ask him. If he’s cheating he’s not going to admit to it anyway. Catch the phone when he walks off and it’s still on. If you don’t trust him then there must be a reason
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He’s obviously hiding something.
Why do u need to go through his phone all the time??
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I’m not cheating n I would do the same bc wtf, don’t snatch my shit.
I’m like that with my phone because… it’s mine. If you suspect something, talk about it.
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If you feel it’s an issue talk to him.
Would you like for him to be going through your phone? Seriously, some people just value privacy. It doesn’t mean they’re cheating.
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I don’t like anyone in my phone. Doesn’t mean I have anything to hide because if I’m cheating I’m damn sure not going to leave any evidence in my phone 
.
He’s hiding something.
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From a married guy with kids, that’s a red flag. If my wife want to look through my phone, I could care less.
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After 16yrs and you have to do that for one shows you don’t trust him but also two he should have no reason to freak out. My husband and I have been together 21yrs and we don’t care. We answer each other’s phone calls and texts. Be honest with him instead of just grabbing his phone. Maybe it is just porn he doesn’t want you to see he has viewed or feels privacy is being violated… you never know until communication between you both happens.
I bet he is sexting someone and does not want you to see it OR he is getting nude pics
If you feel the need to look thru his phone yall have other issues going on.
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Why are you with someone who you feel the need to snoop on anyway?
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When you start wrestling foe yoe fones…oh man…
I totally get valuing privacy… But to damn near fight you? Come on…
Yeah but do you eventually get it and read it?? And what’s on it?? Is he just messing with you kind of kidding?? Hopefully you’re winning the wrestling match😁
My phone and my husbands are completely open all the time. Nothing too hide then he won’t have a problem.
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I have nothing to hide on my phone but it’s always been an issue with me since I was a teenager. It’s my personal space. If he is cheating then time will tell, it always comes out one way or another
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Do you really think he would tell you if he was cheating anyways? Like going through it ALL the time or occasionally without permission isn’t right. If you have doubts about something ask him and see how he reacts
It’s called privacy! If you don’t trust him, leave
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Yes he’s hiding something
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Oh that’s a huge red flag with sirens blaring I can pick up my husbands phone and go through it if I wanted to. And same to him
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My husband and I both have locks on our phones because we have a 4 year old who loves to get into them, so she can access to snap pics but that’s it. However, I can never remember his password and he doesn’t know mine for the same reason- neither are numbers that the other would know. BUT I would unlock and let him go through my phone if he ever felt the need and I know he would do the same. Without having to do the whole “hold on let me do something real quick” (aka delete what they don’t want you seeing). If he’s fighting you over it that’s not a good sign
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If someone picked up my phone with full on intentions of going through it, I’d be snatching it back too. Tf.
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I would question that for sure
- The fact that you feel the need to go through his phone at all
- He would very much rather not have you look through his phone.
- he would seriously wrestle you?? Just so you don’t go through his phone?? Serious Red Flag
There are more issues if you feel the need to go through his phone
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I personally don’t think it’s right for you have to go through his phone. I personally keep my phone with a lock screen because I don’t want kids getting into my phone. I use to have sexy pictures of me that I had taken before I got with my current boyfriend (I have deleted them as far as I can find but that doesn’t mean anything) plus my phone is my personal space that I shouldn’t have to share. I don’t go through my boyfriend’s phone and he doesn’t need to go through mine. I also feel if my phone was unlocked my boyfriend probably be going through it to cause some kind of fight because every now and then he thinks I’m cheating on him even thou I’m home all day (I’m a stay home mom) I don’t have a vehicle.
He’s hiding something, That would make me think he was cheating.Id check when he’s asleep or something. For sure I’d want to know if I’m waisting my life on a cheater .
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Well, it is his phone. What do you expect him to do?
Why are you grabbing his phone to look at what’s on it?
That’s where I would start first.
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I mean has he ever given you a reason not to trust him? Cheated on you? Messaging other women? Flirting with other women? If he hasn’t given you any reasons not to trust him, why look at his phone? Everyone is entitled to their privacy…unless you don’t trust him
If I can’t trust my husband and feel the need to go through his phone I just wouldn’t want him. Trust is everything once you have trust issues the trust will never come back.
Well…. I think he’s reacting to how you’re doing it. Why are you grabbing anything to snoop instead of just talking to him . You should trust your partner 
which it doesn’t sound like you do. Has he done something that makes you question him or is it your own insecurities. I have nothing to hide but I myself nor
My husband would just go grab each others shit without asking first. We have nothing to hide and if he asked I would have said yes and vs versa. If my husband did try some shit like that I absolutely would be ripping it right back out of his hand and giving him a
Mouth full. I just think it’s how you did it. You didn’t respect him or his privacy. So I do think you are being sensitive.
He’s protecting his mommas recipes
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Wrestling you over it instead of just talking to you about why you need his phone would concern me.who does something like that unless there’s a reason.
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He’s trying to hide something it maybe emotional cheating or sexual cheating but he’s hiding something.
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I don’t think there should be secrets in a relationship. I have no reason to look at my partners phone, but if i were to pick it up to hand it to him, I would not expect a reaction other than “thanks babe.” Him freaking out tells me one thing/he’s hiding something. It could be cheating but could also be some sort of surprise he has in store. In my experience, more often than not it’s that they’re doing something wrong…but there’s always a chance it’s something innocent. If he gets super defensive when approaching him about it, that’s an issue.
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If your name is on cell phone acct, you can get the list of numbers text. Thats a start. Honestly if he wont let you see, hes up to no good. My ex done that to me all the time. I never asked to go thru his phone but he always made damn good & sure that I never had the chance. Lucky for me, I caught him lying and then listened to my gut. He was still having a relationship with his ex wife. The way your husband acted is a huge red flag.
Why do you feel the need to go thru his phone anyways?
Does he get to go thru yours?
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What makes you think its ok to go through his phone in the first place? Maybe he should be questioning you.
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You’re not entitled to go through his phone idc if you’ve been together 50 yrs
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By grabbing and looking at his phone, what were you hoping to find? Do you have reason to suspect he is cheating, hiding something, etc? Maybe he feels you are being disrespectful by just grabbing his phone. You are two grown adults who have build a life together, you should be able to have a conversation.
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A relationship with out trust is like a car with no gas… you can stay in it, but it won’t take you anywhere…
Two issues… one, you don’t trust him, feeling the need to look ahows distrust, and number two, he has something to hide because people who have nothing to hide don’t hide things. It’s really that simple. If he had nothing to hide, he’d let you look to prove you wrong and then let you see you’re behavior is out of line.
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I mean I have pictures on my phone that I’d rather my children or strangers not to see so it’s locked, but if my husband wanted to use it or see it He can, he knows my code.
He wrestles you for the phone?
I have never gone through any man’s phone
Wouldn’t a lot of stress and relationships be saved if we never had these ridiculous devices…said Nana
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If y’all are on the same phone bill, just pull the calls and text! Simple, sounds as if there maybe something he is hiding.
If he’s going after it that aggressively he probably has something to hide. Or you’re just super annoying for touching his property. I can see both sides. He might just be really agitated you’re touching his stuff.
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It comes down to why you felt the need to go thru it to begin with
He’s definitely hiding something but I wouldn’t go straight to cheating. My man acted the same way when I was trying to go thru his. It caused an argument and he said f it and let me go thru it… he was trying to plan a surprise for me and didn’t want me seeing.
Not everything is around infidelity
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You’re an adult acting like a teenager phone grabbing and stuffs. I have nothing to hide but I find it childish, disrespectful, and nasty to grab my phone off of me. Grow up. A guy who’s has been with you for 16 ain’t playing around. When does trust issues stops? I guess never. Be an example to your kids
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Some of yall are absolutely ridiculous talking about you have no right to look at his phone. Wtf? Who even cares. We don’t go through each other’s phones but we both can if we want to. Just looking at your bus phone doesn’t make someone a bad person. If you’re in a relationship you don’t have any reason to be hiding you’re phone or whatever you’re doing on. If you’re hiding something on you’re phone it’s because you know you shouldn’t be doing it or that it would hurt your spouse or that you’re lying about something. And then yes she has every right to look at his phone because he’s lying to her and she wants to get the truth. What do you think she should just accept his lies and go on letting him make a fool of her? Yeah ok. If you think it’s OK to lock your phone to keep your partner out of it that’s a little bit ridiculous and a huge red flag. If it would make my husband feel better I would NEVER tell him he can’t look at my phone. Grow up.
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Suspicious mind! Why?
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I personally would maybe talk to him n tell him how u feel. I how ever been with my boyfriend n he has a password on his phone but I have never in the past 9months of us being together been on his phone he told me that I could anytime and he’d unlock it but I have no reason to. Tbh if there going to cheat there going to cheat u can not stop that. N ppl have very good ways hiding it. But maybe try n talk to him
I barely go on my phone bc of my partner, just don’t need it as much when I could be spending time with him instead:smiling_face_with_three_hearts: but if he needs to use it, it’s right there:woman_shrugging:
My phone and my tablet lay on the table all the time. My wife has the password for both. She’s welcome to pick up either one at any time. When I’m driving, I hand her my phone if I get a call or a message. Being a guy, he’s hiding something. You are not wrong.
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