Am I doing the right thing by walking away from my marriage?

My husband of 17 years (with kids) has been acting shady the last few months. We’ve had problems in our relationship for a couple years and it’s worse than it’s ever been. He says he wants to fix it but he’s talking with girls on FB he went to school with and ex’s and deleting the messages. I always knew his passcode to his phone and he changed it. He’s not one to cheat and still today says he never has. He’s commenting how gorgeous they are and I already expressed I don’t like that and he still does it. My family is on life 360 because we want to keep an eye on my daughter but it also allows me to see where he is as well. Something told me to check where he was while he was supposed to be at work and I noticed he was at someone’s house. I looked up the address online and found out a girl he went to school with who he’s friends with on FB lives there. He wouldnt answer my texts or phone calls and finally he picks up and makes up an excuse he was visiting his coworkers new baby. I caught him in the biggest lie and when I told him I knew where he was he told me he was there to help with her pool and that her BF was there with the kids. Now I know what’s going on here. I just need the reassurance from you ladies that when I end this 17 year marriage that I’m doing the right thing. He always accused me of cheating when I wasn’t. I have been completely faithful to him. I can’t stand liars and cheaters. That’s a huge thing I can’t come back from.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I doing the right thing by walking away from my marriage?

Yes. You are doing the right thing. Go reclaim your happy

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You are the only one who knows if it’s the right thing for you to move on.
He’s disrespecting you on so many levels.

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leave, anyone who repeatedly accuses someone of cheating when there is no basis for the accusations is ALWAYS the one cheating!

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Leave and enjoy life by yourself. When you have to play detective in a relationship it’s time to end it.

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Definitely doing the right thing. Move on!

No you are not doing the right thing by walking away! YOU NEED TO RUN!

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Document everything and protect yourself.

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Leave …and fast life is too short

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You’re doing the right thing. If you’re thinking of the kids (I didn’t see ages so I’m not sure if they’re adults or not), it’s better that they see you happy rather than in an unhappy relationship.

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Nope. Leave him. Get away now. If u stay you are allowing the behavior. U deserve better.

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Walk away, you deserve so much more! You deserve to be happy and wasting time being faithful and giving your all to someone who can’t do the same isn’t worth it! You have one life, make the most of it :white_heart:

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I would be leaving without a doubt

In my own opinion
I don’t blame you for wanting to leave.
If you have used every resource to try an save your marriage and he’s not putting in any work to make the marriage work then it’s best you leave so you can be happy and he can figure out his life :slight_smile:
Im praying for the best for u :slight_smile:

you know what needs to be done :heavy_check_mark:

Leave. He’s hindered your happiness too long as it is. He should be 100 percent concerned with you and your needs. Not giving another woman an ounce of his attention let alone ALL the other things :disappointed: you deserve better

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You already know your boundaries. If you let this go, you know you’ll regret it.

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Yes, leaving is not wrong when he’s not being honest and faithful to you!

He accused you of cheating to deflect attention from his own infidelity. You said he’s not the type to cheat, but you’ve caught him cheating. You caught him at some girls house, in a lie. You’ve expressed how the things he does hurts you and he continues to do those things with no regard for your wishes or feelings.

You are doing the right thing!

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First of all. Yes. He’s clearly been cheating. You know it, he knows it so do what you must. You’ve already said it’s a deal breaker. You just want permission. Give yourself that and move on to a life that you and your children deserve. Time to move on hun. It’s ok. You’ll be alright and frankly, take it from someone who wasted 10 years on someone, you can never get those years back. Move forward with confidence.

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Time for you to be happy in your life and you will be once you’re away from your husband. He doesn’t deserve you and you will be happier without him!!

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Leave him! You deserve more respect than that! 17 years of your life you give to this man, and this is how he treats you! Naw! Leave him

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Run fast and don’t look back

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Leave. You’ll never trust him again. You will both be miserable. Have respect for yourself. You have everything you need.

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Really think this through. Marriages that last 50-60 years are messy. No one speaks about that at their 50th anniversary. Please make sure this is what you want to do. Don’t worry about what others think.

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Everyone says walk away- but I would only do as a last resort. One can cheat and never do it again. But in order to move past it, there can be no secrets, no lies, no commenting on another girl’s fb page. That right there is the most disrespectful thing ever. But he has to be the one to change. You have given it your all. Pray and ask God luv.

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If he’s entertaining other women and then covering it up … He’s already cheated …

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If he’s accusing you he probably is if your not. If you can’t work together to make it better. If there isn’t trust. What’s left?

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I know what others are saying but before you make your decision …sit down with him and talk…find out what he wants in your relationship and why he is not satisfied and is looking elsewhere…don’t just throw away 17 years without being positive because you will always wonder what if or why…try to get to the bottom of it all before you throw it away …

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:100: leave. There is absolutely no other choice. He has already cheated.

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You already know what you got to do…I personally could never stay with a cheater

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I say leave. I was married for 17 years and had 4 kids with my ex. He definitely cheated. I forgave once but never forgot. Our marriage was never the same and was not healthy after that. Learn to be happy as you and learn to love yourself. The reat of life will fall into place.

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I would absolutely leave! If he is doing it now he will continue to do it.

People accuse you of doing what they are doing. He IS one for cheating and no matter what he says, he’s gonna keep doing it. Let that fool go.

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Get out now I was in YOURE spot for 18 years had 3 kids and mine cheated
Lied
And pawned everything my kids and I owned and I left BEST THING IVE EVER DONE FOR THE KIDS AND MY SELF !!!

The ones who cheat always blame the other innocent person. Yes, Time to move on

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Love yourself more. Whichever choice you make, dont look back. You’re at an age where you only have time to be happy and enjoy life, no added stress needed.

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He is 100% cheating. Go get the life you deserve. You have our support.

Jenicah Sparks Jayce Ivanah Cage

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Leave he is already Cheating and lying

If he’s been accusing you, chances are, it’s been going on for a while. If you think you can get past it, try to work through it, if not, end it now. Don’t stay together for the kids. That’s showing them it’s okay for a man to treat his woman like she’s disposable.

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Yeah usually when they accuse you of it. It’s due to guilty conscience. He lied to you about where he was…and then when you confronted him …he lied again.

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I have a happy healthy marriage 18 years together in February , I can’t tell you what to do I can only tell you what I would do. Infidelity is the single thing that is not resolvable and I would absolutely leave. He made a plan to go to her home he made a plan to lie to you and he followed that plan through this wasn’t an oops at the bar this was a planned event, my heart would be broken my trust would be shattered and even if I wanted to there is no way I could stay.

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I personally could NEVER forgive him. Divorce would be the end result for me. The disloyalty, blatant disrespect and lies is too much. Looking at his face would be too much. You have to determine what you can deal with. There is no point in stayng if you can’t forgive him. Even if you decide to cheat that may not balance those scales for you. Good luck to you and I’m so sorry. This sucks and must be heartbreaking. Be strong and do whats right for you :hugs:

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You might have to leave but I know how putting that many years into a person, marriage and home can be to walk away from. I think you need to look inside yourself, honey. We can’t answer this for you. You are in my prayers

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Girl, you know what to do! It’s right in front of your eyes!!!

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Don’t let strangers decide. You decide

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He’s not one to cheat but he has NO respect for you? Girl bare minimum he’s already emotionally cheating on you. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s physically cheating too.

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Clean out the bank account. Protect yourself n your children. Cheaters don’t deserve any kindness. That’s the cruelest n most cowardly thing any person can do. Prayers for u to do what u know had to be done

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It ceases to amaze how a partner in marriage, especially longterm one will literally throw everything away just for sex,beyond the cheating a person that chooses that would never be loyal in the real big things like major health issue, you couldn’t count on that person to be there, go be happy, hes an anchor drowning you

You can cheat without physically ever touching another person. So I hate to say this…but he’s been cheating. The intent is there even if it’s just emotionally or digitally ATM. If he is willfully hiding things from you and talking to other women, he’s gone down the path of no return. You said you’ve talked to him about it previously…he hasn’t stopped and in fact has actively started hiding things. That says cheating and that he doesn’t care how it affects you or your family. Sorry, but it has to be said

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You Don’t need anyone’s permission to leave. You have the proof. He will never change. Been There !! Do what your gut says and do it Now . Protect yourself and your children Now!!

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Emotional cheating is cheating

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I don’t understand why u are asking us if its the right thing to do, u already no I ur heart what u have to do good luck with the new journey in ur life xx

A private investigator gave me this advice. Don’t confront your husband. Just play like everything is normal and then file for child support and make him tell the judge under oath he’s been faithful to you.

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Leave! And don’t let him come back!

Definitely time to go.

We ladies can’t really give you the right answer. You have to go with your first instinct your gut feeling.

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I would never stay with the feelings that gives me. Ugh so sorry girl.

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So yeah, he’s cheating and won’t even own it when you catch him. Yes, you’re doing the right thing.

I hurt for you. Been there. Instead of arguing and fighting, where in the end it’s always going to be your fault, your imagination, or some other bull**** that’s supposedly your fault, get the heck out of there. For your own sanity. I spent years with 3 different husbands that just fu**ed with my head. The depression, the suicidal thoughts, it was so crazy. And for what? To try to make something work that I finally had to accept never would. I’m still messed up over it. Some say I’m a bitter, bitter bitch. :smile::smile::smile::smile::smile:. To quit hanging on to my anger. But for now all I can dwell on is how I wasted my life on men who never loved me enough.

Very sad when these things happen in a marriage. You are not wrong to walk away! Trust is gone.:cry:

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Follow your gutt… Trust is a huge factor in any relationship and he has broken yours… I know its a hard decision, one I’m sure you already know the answer to what you need to do but it’s a decision only you can make… Yes 17 years may seem like a lifetime together but there is life after a broken marriage… Yes it will be difficult but over time, you will know in your heart that you did what was best for you and the kids…

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You have your own answer! Know your own worth to be reassuring to yourself, not to get in put from strangers. If you’re asking is bc you might be one of these insecure females that no matter what you’ll be taking him back then asking how on gets over their spouse cheating. In reality you know already you and only you need to make your own decision.

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The peace of mind knowing that you don’t have to deal with or worry about someone disrespecting you and your family will be worth it if you are done and leave. You said it best when you see what he’s doing and he knows how you feel yet doesn’t care that’s how he feels. You can always try marriage counseling if you want to do the final last ditch effort and know you really did all you could do but while you both have to work on the relationship it seems like he’s got a lot of interpersonal stuff he’s got to work on and most people don’t want to do the work. If you are done and feel it in your bones then you are doing what you know is the right thing to do. It stinks that he can’t get his head out of his ass.

No one can make this decision for you, nor should you allow us on Facebook to give you the green or red light. Your choice, your decision- marriage isn’t easy and your situation is not an easy one. I trust that your gut is clear, I pray that you choose the best
Decision for YOU!

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I’m my experience the cheaters are usually the ones to accuse YOU of cheating. Trust is the foundation of a relationship, without it you have nothing. Up to you to try and work out but also in my experience anyway if he cheated before he will definitely do it again, they just hide it better.

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Cheating it doesn’t get better you’ll eventually hate yourself for putting up with it. Been there

I got as far as “he’s talking o girls on Facebook…”, time to leave sweetie. Be strong!

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I’d say GOODBYE yesterday

Wow! My story in another’s words… first thing he accuses you because of his guilt. Second instead of talking to you he would rather be petted by other gals out of fear of rejection from you. Funny thing is I bet you’re fearing rejection from him. Divorce or true and honest counseling. That’s the choices. It’s your choice actually. He made his bed

Girl your gut is telling you the answer. I’ve learned to always trust that feeling :100:. 17yrs down the drain…smh I’m so sorry hun. What a pos

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Honey you already know what to do. Throw the whole man away and make the next 17 years of your life incredible. Be happy for you and have one less ass hat to worry about.

It’s been my experience that a cheater will accuse you to take the heat off themselves, and also to give themselves an excuse, saying they cheated because you did. It’s your fault they cheated. It’s not right. While it’s true that 17 years is a long time to invest in a marriage, only one partner can’t hold it together if the other one is unfaithful. You have to make your own decision, but if it was me, I wouldn’t stay. The lack of respect for you is bad enough, but you have no idea how many partners he’s had. He could bring something home that you don’t want. I would get some money put back, get some household stuff purchased and hidden in the house, find you a place, and consult an attorney. Then one day while he’s gone, take the kids and all your stuff and leave. Block him on your phone and have him served with divorce papers. Move into your place and get set up. I don’t know how old your kids are or whether they have their own phones, but instruct them that if they talk to their father, under no circumstances do they tell him where you are. Shut down the 360. Tell them they will see their father on the days that have been arranged, and have it set up to meet at a neutral location for the exchange. I say to do this so he doesn’t bug you to come back. If he wants a cook and maid while he plays, let one of his girlfriends or his mother do it.

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Leave. Guilty minds łike to accuse you of exactly what they are thinking or doing. Not worth wasting anymore of your life.

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It’s up to you what you wish to do, We or I should say it’s not up to me to tell you to leave or not, If it was me I wouldn’t leave but I will let him suffer for his cheating, stop cooking for him, doing his washing for him, why would you leave your home with your Girls because of him, you got to find somewhere else to live with your Girls, maybe have to change there Schools, No you are better of where you are, You stay he goes. OK.

move on, trust your gut feeling, my ex was cheating with my ex best friend, we were married 13 years with 3 kids. Never looked back, 10 yrs until kids found there partners then met a wonderful man on a motorcycle rally and 16 yrs later still happy

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This is your choice and your choice only to make no one else can make your choice for u

Follow your gut. It sounds like some time apart would do you summer good as well

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So he knows he’s hurting you. Not pissing you off, not aggravating you - he’s hurting you and knows it yet he continues. Is he worth fighting for? Not so much…

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It’s hard, but it’s time to say goodbye. It’ll never be the same.

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  1. When your trust and intimate relationship is gone what is left of the marriage?
  2. How can you commit to a relationship ALONE?
  3. A relationship requires COMMITMENT from TWO people.
    Your choice seems obvious:
    LEAVE HIM! YOU CAN WAIT TO FILE DIVORCE BUT THAT WILL WILL DEPEND ON HIS RESPONSE AND YOUR FAMILY’S NEEDS.
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I’m going through the same thing right now. Time to move on

Follow your gut, but clearly he’s cheating

First off, I just want to say I’m sorry that this coward of a man chose to waste your time for so long…It’s really disappointing that as women we exhaust ourselves trying to make these relationships work for our families, and these men just decide one day out of the blue that they don’t care anymore. I wouldn’t waste any more time with him…Just trust your gut and leave, too much lying for him not to be cheating.

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When r you going to put yourself first? Don’t waste another day on this trash

I’m in the same boat!! I try to get over it and just cant!! And when he denied it, his friends came out and told me :joy: We live together so I’m still home but every day is miserable because there is no trust left!! If you can leave, LEAVE because it’s not happy sticking around, take my word!

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You’re 10000% right, it’s time to move on. Sorry you’re going through this but you definitely don’t need to live this way.

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He’s lying baby girl and he’s cheating on you that’s enough if he’s got enough false to disrespect you and comment on other females he’s already looking elsewhere it’s time to move on you got your answer why keep hurting yourself even more let him go self-respect he’s not respecting you so sorry you’re going through that

WHY would he want to go elsewhere from you.?

Sounds like he’s cheating so yes your doing the right thing

Its definitely time to end it

Don’t waste another day of your life. The only way you’ll find yourself is to be by yourself. So many women get out of relationships and jump right back into another one and never give themselves time to live and breath. You got one life so stop wasting it on others and give yourself all the time you need to find out who you are and what YOU want out of YOUR life. The only reason men stay in a marriage after cheating and lies is because they don’t want to have to give up things and cost them money in a divorce so he will only continue to get worse because he knows he can get away with his behaviors. Remember that when he tries his BS. Best of luck.

Yes walk away and burn that bridge down

You need to let him go. It is your insecurities that is breaking up this marriage. You don’t believe him, cause you don’t want to. Let that man find a wan, not a bratty child

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He’s been cheating long before this. And him accusing you of it. I’ve always been told, the guilty dog barks first!!! And boy is he barking!!!

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You’re right to leave

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Read your text…you answered your own question.

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You don’t need reassurance you already know. Good luck❤️

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