I would break off the engagement. What’s the point of marrying him if he doesn’t even acknowledge you being there, that’s not going to be a fun or happy marriage / life. This other guys sounds great, and it’s something you deserve. Love, attention, respect. I know it’s hard being engaged but you need to look at the bigger picture… do you really want to spend your life with your fiancée? Personally, I would break it off and see what happens with the other guy. Even if it that for some reason doesn’t work out Atleast you won’t be stuck with someone who isn’t excited to see you or even care if they see you
I would break off your current relationship. You won’t necessarily get with your friend. There’s nothing wrong for wanting a little attention. Be yourself. Find someone you have more stuff in common with.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I in a relationship with the wrong person?
Break your engagement.
Honestly, this is all a mess
If you want to leave, then leave.
There is absolutely no way to know that this attention you’re getting from the other guys is going to last. I’m sure your current fiancé made you feel wanted and desired at the start. Otherwise you wouldn’t be with him. These guys could just be putting on a front in order to attract you (it happens).
Talk to your fiancé. Find out what the heck is going on.
Sounds like you you need to end the engagement, and just stay single for awhile.
If you’re unhappy in the relationship either discuss it and solve the problems you all are having or decide to leave. It sounds as though you’re unhappy. It also sounds like you are ready to move on. Only you can make the right choice here.
Dump the chump. Relationship is about being partners and sharing things including the work load. Good bad and ugly, if you don’t see yourself doing this with your fiance. Move on.
You used the word " happy" describing man number 2 so ditch man number 1.
Be alone for now . You’re playing with fire .
You already know the answer.
You wouldn’t be interested in another man if you were in the kind of relationship you want and deserve!
Communicate with your fiancee what you’re feeling, thats the first thing to do. You’re ENGAGED to him for a reason. Talk about your issues and concerns with him, make sure you guys are still on the same page before you make any decisions. If you aren’t happy, voice that. The “friends” affections may not last, but you shouldn’t have feelings for anyone else being engaged for 4 years.
Speaking from experience pick number to age makes no difference if he makes u happy choose him
If ur fiance treats u like he doesn’t care then hunny he doesn’t care. He’s showing u early. U think getting married will make him pay attention to u?? It won’t it’ll get worse. U know what u need to do so do it. Best of luck.
You need to cancel your engagement and it has nothing to do with your friend. If your fiancé were the right one, you wouldn’t be looking elsewhere and questioning your relationship.
Sounds like your fiance should leave you tbh
You basically already have a relationship with the new guy if he knows your kids well enough that they can form their own opinions about him. If you go over “there” and he’s giving you what you want and “crave.” If you can have feelings for this new guy then maybe you don’t really love your fiancé.
Well you’re already cheating so
what feels right deep down its your life not anyone else so its up to u to choose what u really want from a partner and from a friend
So you have a fiance but you go and hang out with this man and he knows your children? That’s a mess within itself
If you were really on love with the first dude, there wouldn’t even be a second.
From my perspective, of course this other guy is treating you right… He likes you and knows he is in competition with your fiance but… That will wear off… Have you talked to your spouse about how you feel? Mabe hes just comfortable with you now but mabe if you tell him how you feel it will change, you were obviously happy at one point with your fiance, you can get that back with effort from both sides
If he’s acting like this before you’re even married it probably won’t get better. Age is a number.
Ditch the fiance, you clearly don’t love him like you think. As for the second guy, my mom always told me growing up not to get with a guy just because he paid attention to me sooo
The first step would be to admit you are having an affair and let your fiance find someone who is meant for him.
I feel like you’re already stepping out, let your fiancé go because clearly it’s two sides, and your not feeling his one bit as well.
Sounds like you need to be single/dating … lose the commitment until you know what you want and who you want.
Sorry you dont love him and you already have a relationship with this guy whether you want to admit it or not. Would u like ur fiance (that claims to love you) spend time with another female?
HAPPINESSSSSS MATTERS be with someone who makes your stomach have butterflies and makes your heart tickle
You’re mentally cheating when you’re looking to getting attention from another
Cancle you’re engagement and go be happy
Words I always was told be a old man’s darling then a young man’s fool follow ur heart
Your fiance should leave you. You’re cheating. Emotionally cheating.
Well it’s obvious that you don’t love your fiancé or you wouldn’t be hanging out with this other guy constantly
Sounds like your fiance is in a relationship with the wrong person. Weather you’re physically cheating or emotionally cheating, you’re cheating. You do not need to marry this man.
I think you have answered yourself. Your post literally tells you the answer. My ex is like your fiance. Get out. You deserve to be paid attention too and your kids too.
Always two sides to the story. Maybe your fiancé goes to his phone because you are in constant need of attention. A relationship takes 100/100, happiness isn’t love btw.
Just get out of your engagement
If you gotta ask, I’m pretty sure you are
Watch the office and focus on Pam and Jim
Whatever the case choose happiness
I will tell you what my mother always told me… the grass isn’t greener on the other side…the grass is green where you water it… if you’re putting attention into someone elses garden then all you see is yours wilting and dying because you don’t want to put in the effort to water your own damn garden. So in so many words you alrdy know it’s over just pull the plug and go out with the older one because you obviously don’t care about your fiance anymore.
Unfortunately, if you have to ask that question…
it truly speaks volumes!
Okay hun no judgement here however be honest with yourself. You’re already out of that relationship so respect yourself and the other 2 ppl in that triangle enough to break free from your fiance. End it and move on. Yiu know that’s what you want to do so do it. Go where you’re happy
Idk if mr.right is the friend or not. Age does matter a lot despite what people say and that’s a massive age gap. But you’re definitely with mr.wrong and I’d bet he’s cheating too at least emotionally. Him being on his phone 24/7 and not spending anytime you or kids is a huge red flag especially for being engaged. Men also take a lot longer to mature though. I’d say the friend has already messed up in relationships previously and realized what’s really important in life- family, people you love and care about. Not a internet relationship which I guarantee that at the very least is happening. Most guys your age aren’t ready to settle down and be husbands and fathers. At 58 he kinda missed that🤷🏻♀️. Honestly I think you should probably be alone a bit and figure out life and what YOU want before jumping from one relationship to another especially with kids involved. You’re still really young you don’t need to have it all figured out right now.
You have already answered your question. Right hand stays on phone does not acknowledge you or your children are around. Left hand guy who plays with your children and pays attention and hangs with you. Age doesn’t matter if your grown adults. Don’t jump into marriage with anyone untill you know it’s right. End your engagement and start living for yourself and children. Good luck and God bless.
You need to let your fiance go. He no longer makes you happy. I wouldn’t rush onto a relationship with your friend. Give yourself time to get over the relationship.
That’s a big gap, but your both adults. As for the fiance…your cheating. Emotional by this post. I don’t think he’s right for ignoring you & kids (I swear phones, internet is the death of relationships these days) but your in the wrong too. So call off the engagement, tell him to marry his phone and bounce.
If your in love with two people go for the second because if you truest loved the first there would be no second
So you’re cheating ….
Be careful cause it sounds like older gentleman is grooming you. And the reason I say this is cause my ex was like that too treated me like a queen my son also n I fell for it n it was pure living hell after 3 months once he moved in his true colors showed n it took 2 years to leave the douche. Maybe your older gentleman has good intentions but you need to be careful seriously.
You’re already cheating. Emotionally
Well the age aside if I was your fiance and he MUST be out of touch I’d be really mad you’re already bringing another man around your kids. Sounds like you’re already done. But remember hes your fiance but assuming hes their father it could get very messy for you. Be prepared. Also understand men are always nice when they are trying to get in your pants. I’m sure your fiancee was attentive until he starting getting the milk.
He’s just growen up. You and boyfriend are young go with your gut
Be happy, you only get one chance at life!!
Nobody deserves to be cheated on. You need to just go ahead and leave so “your fiance” can find someone better than you and be happy.
Don’t marry someone that you will regret to be with afterwards. Makes no sense to me!
(IMO) Ask your fiancé to join you in couples counseling to find out if this is still a relationship you both want to continue. Let your friend know that you appreciate his friendship but during this time you need to distance yourself to figure out your engagement. If he’s emotionally mature he’ll understand and give you All the space. You also have children to consider. You are their momma bear and you need to be very careful and selective of who you bring around them. Hopefully counseling will help clear the air. If you decide to end your engagement (again IMO) you might consider only dating yourself for awhile. Focus on your growth and your children. When you decide you want to date again you’ll want to have a clear head and all your baggage handled and squared away. Good luck
you need to be alone and figure out what you want for yourself and your kids.
Wow people assume your cheating just because your friends with a guy. People got issues.However if your man don’t make you happy leave your so young. Work on yourself .
TALK TO YOUR MAN!!! HE CANT CHANGE ANYTHING IF HE DOESNT KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!! And see if you could possibly work things out and if not then move on. In my opinion, you’re technically cheating on your man already because you’re hanging out with another man and becoming emotionally attached to him
Go with the older man. He’s tired of the games, stable and has been thru enough to know how to treat a woman. And they make better lovers and partners.
That’s too big of an age difference trust me it doesn’t work. I’ve been there. Unless you want a sexless relationship and more of a roommate relationship don’t do it. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. You need to be by yourself for a while to figure out what you want. Don’t just settle if your finance isn’t willing to work on it then you need to break it off. Don’t string him along.
I feel like if you’re already brung your kids around him (58 year old) you have your mind made up that what you have with him is long term. If you’re unhappy with your fiancé, break it off with him.
Don’t get married if you’re not sure at all. You will regret it.
Please leave your fiancé, he doesn’t deserve to be cheated on.
If you feel this way now, going through with the marriage will be a big mistake. I wouldn’t hop ship to be with this other man because it could indeed be just that he is showing you the attention you crave. However, I would use this as a wake up call for you to see what you are missing in your current relationship. I would definitely try to communicate with your fiance on the things you feel you need out of this relationship if you do want to make it progress to an actual marriage. If he isn’t willing to give it to you even after discussing it than he isn’t the one for you.
A few things in your story confused me.
Sounds similar to what happened to me. I ended up with my best friend a while after ending a miserable engagement. Go for the guy who makes you happy. It is SO worth it.
My advice is to pick neither man. The 58 year old man will not be around forever. You may get 10 good years.
Leave the young one he don’t know how to treat u
Don’t marry that dude.
Don’t date someone that much older than you. I’m not judging you, I’m judging him. I’ve been down that road with more than one 50+ dude and the only difference is they have more experience manipulating situations and people. And do you really want to be a 35 year old widow? Or a 30 year old who counts on little blue pills to be intimate with her partner? It’s just not practical.
Go be by yourself for a while. Date yourself. Love yourself. Love your kids. You don’t need either one of these dudes.
First off your children shouldn’t be meeting another man while you are currently in a relationship nor should you be spending alone time with another man while in a relationship.
I’m with a man that is 21 years by days older than me and we’ve been together 15 years and married for 11 and couldn’t have a better relationship with any other man I’d say go with the older man
My husband is 37 about to be 38 and I’m 25. He has 3 girls 19/18/7 it was awkward at first but best thing I’ve ever had in a man before. I say your with the wrong person
The grass is not always greener on the other side. Becareful things are not always what the seem.
Wrong guy. Your fiancé behavior is not going to improve. dump and give new guy a shot
Get rid of the fiancé… and get rid of the 58 year old! I know you said not to bring up the age difference… but that really does play a big part in this. Serious question…how long do you think he’ll be able to keep up with you and your kids for? Food for thought. Most importantly… you don’t shit where you eat.
You need to be alone.
Do what makes you happy
You don’t know it, but you made a brilliant case why your fiance is not the one for you.
Have you spoken to your fiancé about how your feeling? I think sometimes you get too comfortable and forget to show each other how much you love each other. It sounds like your not happy with your fiancé maybe try and have a talk and work things out but if it doesn’t work out then leave him. It doesn’t mean you need to go with the guy that’s been showing you attention, just take time for yourself and don’t rush into anything because it could just be because he is giving you something you want and currently don’t have.
First off, break off your engagement, you shouldn’t be hanging out with another man while your in a relationship, after you do that spend some time with Just you and your kids for a few months. Then after a few months if you want to date someone else go for it.
Right now what your feeling is a crave for attention or lust . The attention your getting remember is only temporary. Everyone goes through a honeymoon phase or the flirting phase in which your in with this “friend”. Age shouldn’t matter but in the end sometimes in the relationship it will matter . I wouldn’t have introduced this man to your kids , it’s confusing but again they are your kids . What I think you should do is leave your fiancé and focus on yourself and your kids . It something comes from this relationship with your friend then let it be on it own terms and not while your in a relationship . I once fell for someone and “emotionally cheated” and that hit me in face because he thought I would do the same to him. Clearly that relationship didn’t work. Focus on yourself and your kids and let it be
Sounds like you don’t know what you want… Be an adult, put your big girl panties on, and be honest with your fiancé. Cut him lose because if you LOVED him, you wouldn’t be having emotional affairs, that’s basically what you’re doing… and that isn’t fair to him… especially since it seems like you haven’t even had a convo with him of what’s bugging you… from your post you’re still very immature just as your fiancé.
If you have to ask most likely the answer is yes
Not saying the friend is the right option, but I think you already now the answer in regards to your fiance. Age is but a number and you deserve to be happy with whatever you choose in life
so you are cheating on your fiance . wow . I hate women who cheat on their men more than I hate a guy that cheats on his woman.
Be careful,remember they are always very attentive and loving and kind at the start
do wat ur heart tells u theres 6yrs between me n my hubby nd we been happily married 13yrs
All I know is happiness is key … xx
Yeah he isn’t the one for you. Not because of all the negative things you said about him. But because you had to say all the negative things about him so you can feel better about cheating on your fiance.
Right now you’re emotionally cheating so you need to leave.
First of all, your about to ruin a good man by cheating on him. It’s easy to pay attention to someone all the time when your getting to know them. All relationships go stale after awhile otherwise why does everyone say relationships take work?? Me and my husband would talk for hours when we dated but now it’s isn’t as much because we have together for a long time. That’s what happens you have to put in a constant effort and it’s clear it isn’t him who checked out it’s you. Instead of talking to your fiancé and trying to make it work your cheating on him cuz some guy has a conversation with you. You try to make it seem like he’s the bad guy here but it’s you. Your probably so worried about talking to your lover that your not even trying to have a real conversation with your fiancé. You need to leave your fiancé he deserves better. I would be spending a lot of time staring at my phone to if my spouse was cheating on me. Think about that for a second before you keep acting like he’s the bad guy and not you. On top of that, you have kids grow the hell up… what happens if this new man ignores you for awhile??
First of all don’t the first guy that don’t pay enough attention to you and start hanging out with the second guy make sure that’s what you want
Sooo…first thing you need to do is break it of with your fiance… he sounds like he make ZERO effort. You and your kids deserve better. What you are feeling for the other guy is very possibly because you are desperate for attention. And I am only saying this part because you have kids involved. Your friend is 58… you are 25… this is about the time men start suffering from ED and low sex drive. And sex isn’t everything…but it is a lot…there has to be an intimacy outside the bedroom in the relationship to sustain it. With you being as young as you are…are you willing to sacrifice a sex life…if you dont know…or not willing to be in that position… don’t start the relationship… it would not be fair to your kids nor him. In fact you arent being fair to him right now…who is super excited about having a young woman interested in him. Dont play with his heart. Your fiance…well he has his phone to keep him warm at night.
Love has no age. But, I thi k you need to talk to your fiance about how you feel and that your feeling lost. Let him know you haven’t cheated. Just that this guy makes you feel alive in that he pays attention to you. Even if you break up ,being alone in a marriage you wish you were happy in will end bad. If your not happy in any relationship. Don’t stay. You deserve better.
Trust me the older guy is just acting extra nice because you are 35 years younger than him. If he were to be rich would he even look at you? My question is if he was to be 30 years would he even look at you? If I were you I would cut it of. I would speak with my fionze and tell him that you need more attention and you would like him to paid more attention to your kids by playing with them. My husband used to be liked that I had a talk with him. Now he still spends time with his phone but not he gives daily time to the kids n me. If you can’t communicate now whomever you married to you will be doomed since the lack of communication is one of the main reasons for divorce