3 months ago, my mom figure moved into my home after a failed relationship that she rushed way too fast into. In the beginning of her living with me we agreed that she didn't need to pay me anything however she was expected to help around the house with cleaning and occasional child care if work runs late. I had to work out of town the second month and compensated her over $400 on top of paying her living expenses for her caring for my child for a week. After this trip she began slacking on the bargain we made. Things weren't getting done how we agreed they would, I was working 50+ hours and having to clean up and cook for an additional adult while she did nothing all day every day for free.
Two weeks ago, we had gone out on a Sunday to meet a friend of mine. I told her we needed to leave by a certain time as I had to still sleep for a graveyard shift I needed to work. By the time to leave, she was drunk, hanging all over a random dude, and refusing to go. I left, and came back for her and she still unreasonably would not go. By the time I got her to leave I had enough time to get home, change, and leave for work. She ended up bringing the random guy home from the bar. When I returned from work he was still in my home being loud and obnoxious with her while I was trying to catch up (desperately) on sleep. When my sons school got out, she had told me she was going to get my child from school so I could finally sleep and that random dude had left. I finally doze off, when I hear the motorcycle pull up in front of my house, then my son unattended talking to this strange man alone as she used the restroom. I was livid.
She goes to hangout with this random man the next day and gets news heâs got someone very sick in his household. She stays the night at his home the following night, and the morning after that learns that itâs someone with COVID in the home. She leaves, and brings this man to my home to âhangoutâ while I am at work.
I got home, told her she is being irresponsible as it is the health of my child she is jeopardizing, and that she needed to leave and quarantine. She leaves to her uncles, and invites random dude from bar with her for her quarantine.
With news of this - I kicked her out. I told her she is no longer welcome in my home and that she had crossed too many lines and the disrespect had gone too far.
She is now harassing me, posting trash posts about me, and lying to everyone I know that she knows about what occurred painting me out as a terrible person.
Am I wrong for choosing to be done with her and kick her out over all of this?
You have every right to do what you did. You guys had an agreement of how things would be⌠I mean cleaning is all she had to do while living there for free? Câmon. I probably wouldâve done the same, you know nothing about this man that is in your home that your kids live in, whoâs also acting disrespectfully I might add. He mightâve have also gotten your child sick. I would ignore her, totally childish how sheâs acting. She can say what she wants, & if someone asks you about it just tell your side of it⌠if someone believes her over you then it shows who was a true friend
Classic addictive/narcissistic behavior. Itâs best to let her go and have to figure some things out. Hopefully, having to step up will help her. Your child always always comes first!
I donât think youâre being unfair or unreasonable at all.
She made her choices, & so can you.
Iâm proud of you for standing up for whatâs right for you, your kids & your home.
You were def not wrong here. Safety of our babies is #1 priority. Stand your ground and donât correct anyone. If they choose to pick sides, toxic is toxic no matter who they are to you so youâll know who else to get rid of
If you allowed her to stay you would have been enabling her and she would never get a wake up call she needs. She may still not even get her act together but at least you have limited the damage that would impact you and your children. You have done the right thing 100% and do not have to justify yourself to anyone.
I would have left her at the bar and her clothes would have been lying on the doorstep when she eventually turned up , she is taking your kindness for granted and I donât know how u put up with it especially the strange guy in your hone with your son there if thatâs was my home he would have been out the door the first night lol
Iâm wondering after she had been drinking , how could u even ask her to pick up your child ? U donât leave people like that to take care of your children, especially after drinkingđĽş
Though I do agree with putting her on and not welcoming her back. However where I live if she has been staying there more then 30 days, she would be considered a squatter(and has squatters rights) which you then have to go through a similar process as when a landlord is evicting a tenant. It a whole host of BS imo but just putting that heads up out there in case she try some vindictive s**t.
You are not wrong at all. She is a toxic person. Block her and ignore. go on with your life,people who know you know you by your good character and wonât believe her stories about you. Donât waste any more time even thinking about her.
You are not wrong and she is not a parental figure. Regardless of what relationship you had or will have with her, you choosing your child first is what a parent is supposed to do. Stay strong and remove her stuff from your social media. You work hard and donât need any negativity in your life from her.
Nope, youâre smart. I wouldnât even bother listening to what sheâs telling people and if they want to believe it, itâs on them. You did the right thing and donât feel bad about that.
As far as her mouthing goes: the people that count know and the people that donât know donât count so chalk that up to the source. When someone has wronged you, theyâll never tell the truth and will paint you as the bad guy. That being said, you will learn as you get older that you canât trust anyone, really, only yourself. You did right by getting rid of her. Donât back down because your child comes first. Never let someone move in; it will almost always go wrong. God bless you for trying to help.
Let her pull her crap and cry to whomever will listen. You set boundaries and you followed through. Youâre right. I donât care what anyone says about me anymore. I know Iâm in this world alone, none of those people, including family, will help me and will drop me in a heartbeat for any reason so why should I give them the light of day? If she harasses you too much Iâd consider a restraining order.
Watching over your belligerent, drunk, irresponsible mother does not have to be added to your list of responsibilities. Donât worry about what others think of you either. You donât want that kind of influence around your child anyway. Block her of social media and continue to take care of yourself and kiddo.
you are definitely not in the wrong at all my mother basically did the same thing to me showed up at my doorstep with no money and no where to go even though as a child she abandoned me and my brother i still had love for her and couldnt bare the thoughts of her being homeless so i took her in with the understanding that she would babysit and clean and cook while.i worked at least until ahe could find a job well that didnt even last a full 3 days till she stared goin to the bars and then coming in drunk then about a week into this i get up to fix my baby a bottle and find not one not two but three strangers in my home two of which was undressed and on my couch so needless to say i lost my Sh!$ and threw all 4 of them out and shut the door on that relationship
No.
You have boundaries. Keep them.
You have a child to think about.
Personally, Iâd make one post, âHalf the stuff you hear is just as garbage as the person telling it too youâ and after 48hrs, Iâd block everybody
Made my life way simpler to do that.
Sharon Hart Breach of contract is a thing. Even verbal contracts are legally binding.
She violated the verbal contract.
She has no case.
(And I doubt she has money to sue)
Absolutely not. Let her talk, that reflects on her character not yours. If the people reading her nonsense really know you, they will ask you before assuming what she is saying is true. Just keep looking forward and know you did what you had to. Unfortunately she made the choices she did.
The minute she brought a stranger to my house would have done it for me. Block her on social media and donât lower yourself to her level by commenting or trying to defend yourself. She sounds like Loosey Goosey to me and your child is not safe around her.
She is definitely not a parental figure by the sound of this. Very disgusting behavior and zero respect or concern for you and your child. Block her and move on.
Not at all! Honestly they both wouldâve been kicked out the first time! Ion care how grown you are! No men are allowed in my home especially around my kids! Child I see why I donât have friends be her friend from a distance from here on
Make one post about what actually happened, make it public & then not another word. Cut the people off that believe her over you & be done. You made an adult decision while she is still acting like a rebelling child.
I wouldnt air dirty laundry on facebook. You did right to kick her out. She didnt have the health and welfare of your family on her mind and didnt care. Let people believe what they want - who cares. Go on with life - God Speed!!
I understand what you are going through, however because she has mail coming there you have to evict her with notice. Im sorry or at least in the states Iâve lived. Best of luck to you.
No, you are not wrong - if she wants to live the life as a careless (wannabe again) teenager, then she can do it elsewhere. You did what was right to protect your child, you, and YOUR home! Let her talk her trash, remove those from your life that believes her because you (as well as your child) do not need that drama and negativity, and continue on with a smile because remember, Karma is a bitch and She does not like nasty - you get what you give and she has hers coming to her.
It does not matter what she is saying, you know the truth. People are going to believe what they want to. Block her and move on. Do not waste any more time with her nonsense.
Not wrong at all. I had to get a 2 year restraining order against my mother because she had zero boundaries and was harassing/stalking me. I havent spoken to her in almost 6 years
Keep her out - if she had a key to your place and if you can afford it change the locks. Donât worry about the trash posts - people who people them you donât need in your life.
Sad that there are PEOPLE out there like that⌠Just thinking of herself⌠NOT the Child or appreciating anything you did for her. CHANGE the locks⌠IF People know You and PEOPLE KNOW of her⌠they can figure it out themself or let them HOUSE HER.
Sounds to me like she used yalls âfriendshipâ for her own personal advantage. A place to live, for free. Expectations that she agreed to uphold, then failed to do so. Being irresponsible, bringing a possible sickness into your home around your child, knowingly. You did the right thing mama. If you did anything wrong, it was trusting her to be a decent human being and not kicking her to the curb sooner. Let her say what she wants, the truth always comes to light.
Donât even waste your breath with her. Block her on all social media so you donât see her posts or comments. Anyone who knows you and is worth your time will ask you your side of the story.
If she was my Mom Iâd be done with her for life. Sheâs a tramp who brought some random guy into your home not knowing anything about him, hell he could have been a serial killer putting your life & your childâs life at risk. The Covid thing is bad enough & obviously she doesnât really care enough about you or your kid to put your lives at risk with this & all the variants out there. Love her from a distance do not back down this does not deserve a second chance.
out you disrespectful heffaâ:v:
in my own house. Especially at the expense of my childrenâ:facepunch:
and remove her stuff from your social media. You work hard and donât need any negativity in your life from her.
right to do this