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He’s just using you tell him to get a life
this is the kind of situation that you need to go to court for. if you’ve been able to find and hold a job in that area there’s no reason he can’t. file for support as well as try to keep track of all the things you buy to take with you to his house for your son. and file for full legal and physical custody until he can get his act together.
You keep giving he will keep taking you are not his mother!
He is uncaring and lazy tell him to get a life
My dear enough is enough. You owe him nothing. He has used you long enough. Time for him to be a man and take care of himself.
You already are raising one child. You do not have the responsibility to raise an adult child. He will manipulate you as long as he can. Focus on your child. Please … Do not feel sorry for him. He knows what he’s doing .
Well if your child grows up and becomes flakey and irresponsible and goes through that failure to launch thing you’ll be totally experienced and ready from parenting and enabling your ex
The part “MAKING ME fill his gas tank” was the end for me.
Girl, this man is making you do EVERYTHING.
Please drop him like a bad cold.
He either wants to be a dad or he doesn’t. Your son will grow to understand what kind of father he is. It’s not your job to make your ex look good in your son’s eyes.
Just trying to be honest with you.
Take care, be blessed and at peace.
No mama you are not! My ex was the same way, and when I stopped being so flexible with him, he stopped coming around less and less
Maybe go file for child support and quit enabling him?
He’s a parasite. Stop feeding him. He’s a crap example for your son as well
If you can prove that he is the father by paternity test then the courts can push for him to pay support. But if he does not have the income you are barking up the wrong tree. Stop enabling him so he must get a job and figure out his life and responsibilities. Loser drop him otherwise, he is bringing you down. Instead of giving him money tell him you need it to support your son!!! Stand your ground! Otherwise don’t expect anything more.
Sorry you are enabling him to be irresponsible.He’s taking advantage of that.STOP everything you are doing for him and do just for your son and let him figure his stuff out.
You think your doing your son a favor by teaching him, it’s ok to use people and be lazy 
In the UK, regardless of a parent is involved, they have to pay for their child/ren!
I’d say you’ve been more than reasonable, he needs to get his act together and sort himself out! I wouldn’t take the child to see him! If he’s that bothered he will find a way to you. Stand by your beliefs and don’t let him walk all over you.xx
Your enabling. Cut him off. Go to court. By doing all this your teaching your child to use people and it’s ok to be lazy cuz someone will deal with it.
Stop.
You teach people how to treat you. Move on with your life and stop enabling this loser.
He needs to take responsibility for his son. Go to child support recovery and make him pay child support and take care of his son. If he is suffering from mental illness such as depression he needs to get help. He needs to quit laying around and take care of himself and his son. It is not your responsibility.
Sounds like you are paying him child support and he has the child. For one, stop paying him anything and DO NOT send your son with him until a court order is established. If you keep leaving him with him before you establish custody and child support he can flip it on you, show that HE has the child in his care and that you have been paying him child support and could even have them give him custody and you’d have to keep paying him for support.
Two things I see here. One. He absolutely is using you and his son is an excuse for him to continue it. Put an end to that. No more financial help. No more gas. Nothing. He’s an adult. He can figure it out. If he wants to see his son, he will find a way to get to where the child is.
Two. Your child needs and deserves two parents. Specifically, two parents who BOTH contribute. If he’s acting shady and unreliable, take him to court for child support and get custody and visitation figured out now. It’ll protect both your time and resources in the long time and your son will benefit from having a set schedule and knowing what day he’s with who. Since he moved away, you can also specify that he drive to you or he forfeit his time if he’s late or doesn’t show up on time. Whatever you want, make sure it is specified in the papers. If he gets mad just tell him it’s to protect the interests and wellbeing of the child. Nothing personal. Its also to help facilitate a consistent agreement in regards to your child. He won’t be able to get out of paying child support, nor will he be able to just up and quit his job or move and you pick up the slack. Make sure you put that If either party moves further away, they are the one to drive to where the child resides. Not the other way around.
My ex gave me the I gotta work on myself first speech. So I stopped helping him. Stopped taking the kids to see him. Told him I wasn’t doing the work for him to be a dad. August 2021 was the first time in 4 years the kids saw him. And that’s because I made a little effort. Hasn’t seen or talked to any of them since. Make him make the effort to be a dad. He either will or won’t, but it isn’t your job to care.
He’s your ex not your child stop paying for anything. He lives an hour away let him find arrangements to pick up and drop his son for visitations. He is the father and also has financial responsibilities for his child not just you. Time for you to get court appointed sole custody with visitation for dad. And court appointed child support (you’re already used to him not paying so when he doesn’t you shouldn’t miss it)
Court ordered custody and child support will fix all of that
he’s using you and taking advantage so he sees no need to get a job cause his baby mama got him.
Stop providing for him. Message him so you have proof….that you will no longer provide for him because you are providing for yourself and y’all’s child.
also maybe take him to court for a formal custody arrangement and child support with back pay.
also ask yourself if you were struggling and needing the same help would he do it or would he accuse you of using him for money 
If this ain’t my ex 
only I stopped giving him shit when I left him. I’ll bring food for my baby, his clothes and diapers. But any/everything else he needs to pay for. But he also don’t ask to see his kid anymore been over a year, any time he had them for a weekend was when I asked if he would. So I stopped asking cause it was no different from me having them to him having them. Cause I still had to do/have everything thing
Child support isn’t for parents that don’t get to see their child. Child support is for helping to raise a kid you both created. Girl you need to go to court and get proper Child support and custody if you haven’t. There is a chance you won’t get anything if he can’t keep a job but if he get a job they can force payment. He is using you!
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Yo this is all on you for allowing it to go on. If you need help sue him for child support. If your not going to then you can’t really complain if he isn’t paying. Stop giving him shit
He shouldn’t have to pay you anything when he has his son, because HE should be paying for EVERYTHING his child needs when in his care.
You need to go to court and file for child support ASAP. This man thinks it’s your job to pay for him so he can be a Dad. That’s not how that works.
Hail no. That’s all I have to say and all you should say.
You can’t expect him to step up like you have,he wants you to do everything! You have done it all with the help of your family.
You’re crazy. No more hand outs to him!!
It is his responsibility to provide for the stuff for y’all’s child while at his house it is not your responsibility to make sure that his house has groceries diapers wipes clothing and toys for your son while your son is there
Nope. You’re seeing it crystal clear and doing too much
A person will only treat you the way you let them treat you. Stop driving your son to
Him. If he wants to see him have him pick him up. Quit talking diapers and food and such to him when he has your son. It’s his responsibility to take care of him when he has him. Your completely letting him take advantage of you and he is enjoying it. It doesn’t take that long to
Find a job. Go file child support. Your child deserves it. Quit pleasing this lazy guy and start thinking about your son
Stop all of this right now. You’re doing too much for a man that doesn’t care about you or his child. He is using the child as a way to get you to help him because he knows that you want the relationship to work for your child. He does not care about maintaining a relationship with his child. He’s completely wrong in everyday possible here. Stop giving him any money. Tell him you can’t do all the driving and he needs to meet you halfway for pick up and.drop ioff. If he can’t do tbat oh well that’s not your problem. You are enabling him to be a irresponsible bum and that’s not the kind of father that your son needs. If he wants to see his son he will find a way. I bet my life that he will completely drop off after you tell him to split the driving. If you really want to keep doing it then ok. Send only clothes and diapers and tell him he needs yo feed his child when he’s with him. Stop paying for anything for him.
Do not send him any more money. Go to court and let them decide what needs to be done as an unbiased party. He needs to get his act together and send child support.
I see you more of his sugar Mama than his baby mama. Money for food money for gas money for his car what else are/were you paying for? He’s taking complete advantage of you.
He is also the parent and should help support him not just you paying for everything. He wants to be a father and be in his life he needs to step up and help support him
If you have your son full time why are you paying for his life !! You were kind enough to let him stay with you to get onto his feet to start with for your son x if he isbthat poor yeah send yourbson with nappies ect for him but his day to day life is not your responsibility
Child support and visitation are two totally different departments. Take him to court. He needs to man up
You feel taken advantage of because you allow. He did NOT make you fill his gas tank up. Your job is to support your son not your sons dad. Do not put food on his table me again.
Why should he get a job? (Being sarcastic). He has it made and everything provided for him, so why work!?!? I’d kick him out of my house and kick him to the curb! He’s needs to do his part and help provide for his son. Get divorced and start the child support process. You’re doing it alone already, only difference is your paying more supporting him, too!
Go to court girl. Thats his own fault not urs.
He’s a leech and will never change as long as you cater to him. Cut him off entirely. Do you want this to be the example your son relates to?
Honey, you’ve got it all wrong. You have 2 children you’re raising. One is old enough to have provided sperm so you could have your baby. The other is using you. Every time you spend money & time on him, you are taking from your child. Stop waiting for him to change. He has to want to change, and from what you’ve said, he’s making no effort to do so.
Steups you were enabling him with his 
from the jump. I have no idea why so many women do that crap with the father of their child. He is an adult and it is time he start to make adult decision and movement. You need to focus on you and parenting your child and stop having your ex be a deadweight in you.
It’s called emotional extortion you are playing the mother role not only to your child but your ex as well so far it has worked for him stop allowing these in mature men to make your decisions for you they are playing the role of a father to you telling you what to do I am much older woman I tell you file for child support see how fast he gets a job then when he is held accountable by court cut your losses & move on already stop supporting him & enabling him take the money you spend on him pay one of your family members to watch your child while you are working frankly I would feel unsafe leaving my child in his care
You should have left him behind and never looked back. Sounds like you’re still not over him and are using your son as an excuse to have a relationship. He’s never going to change. Cut him off completely. You don’t owe him anything just because you made a baby with him
You shouldn’t have to go above and beyond like that for him to have a relationship with his kid. And you should not be the only person physically and financially doing everything. Put a stop to that real quick. Tell him it’s time to man up
Stop. Financially. Supporting. Him.
Go file for custody and child support.
I think you are seeing veryclearly. He is using you. If a relationship with his child is important,he will make a way. Forget him for now and move on with your life. He has nothing to contributes to the relationship nor is he trying. He doesnt deserve to see his child if he cant show any interest in making it happen
I can’t have kids anymore but I need a good sugar momma and I babysit… 
honey! Stop catering to someone your not in a relationship with and who doesn’t seem to want to support his son in anyway. You see the red flags. No stop watching them wave and walk away.
He’s obviously irresponsible and should not be taking a penny from you especially since you’re doing everything for your son. Cut him off until he goes to court and they’ll make him pay through the court. It’s your responsibility to care for your son, not his deadbeat father. You’re not with him so don’t make his problems yours. It’s struggle enough for you to provide for your son by yourself. Your help isn’t helping him. It’s hindering him from maturing and becoming a real man.
If hes not looking for work. He could be getting food stamps
Nothing changed he’s the same guy you laid down with and had a child. You thought you could change him. Cut your losses and move on.
U need to get your own life and make him find his own way.If you keep paying his way he will continue to suck you dry tell the next time he sees you you want to see a pay stub if not walk away your son doesn’t need a deadbeat dad who expects you to pay his way u need to look out for #1
Tell him he needs to get his head out of his ass n be responsible !
You teach people how to treat you.
He is taking total advantage because he can.
Instead of him supporting his son your supporting him. Something is definitely wrong with this picture & your the only one that can fix it. He’s a true losser.
Move on! He’s your second child!
Why haven’t you seen a lawyer - you are supporting him, not the other way around. It would be cheaper for you to pay for a babysitter than support him.
Stop funding his life.
$crew this scumbag! Do not give him another dime. If he wants to see his kids he needs to meet you half way, and support his needs at his home himself. Get a child support order. Your child is entitled to this.
Tell him you can no longer send him money, as you are the ONLY parent providing for your son.
If he can’t pay his bills, and look after his son financially, then you have grave concerns leaving your son with him. Tell him, to lessen the financial burden on him, you’ll meet him at a park twice a week for an hour for him to see his son (make the park half way between your homes). That you can’t afford to be supplying everything for your son at his house as well as yours. So until he is financially stable and can afford to look after his son adequately at his place - meeting at a park is the best option. Go back to family support while you work.
Sounds like to me he is still a child. At this point I wouldn’t let him have him for any longer than a couple hours and idk that I would even do unsupervised at this point. He has proven time and time again to not be putting the child’s best interest first.
Nope. I would be at the courts filing for support. I’ve been there. My ex used to tell me he couldn’t afford rent and this etc. I would send him more than my 300 a month child support. One month I sent him 1200 to find out he was using the extra money to lavish his girlfriends 4 kids with name brand stuff. It was never enough and I was constantly being put down to others by him because he had custody. I cut him off completely and I have been the bad guy since but he’s no longer allowed to use me
He’s a loser. Stop supporting him!! U raise ur son and if he wants to see him let him figure it out.
He’s completely taking advantage of you!!
You need to file for child support
You’ve created a monster. Stop doing it and take him to court for child support payments.
I don’t think you’re in the wrong, he sounds like a loser!!! He’s definitely taking advantage of you but as much as I hate to say it, it’s because you let him! Go file for child support and maybe he’ll get his act together! Otherwise you’re enabling him and the situation 
Stop being a parent ti him…go to court/get a lawyer and move on
So your paying him to keep his son?
You seem like a very kind person but who is being kind to you?
Not a good example for how your son should treat a lady…
That’s what they think. I have my kids full time and her dad thinks he shouldn’t pay any child support when he don’t help with anything
Yea you need to cut the rope. He is a adult ad has to do it himself.
He didn’t make you put gas in his car, you did ! Bring him too court for child support until than he gets Nothing and doesn’t see your son
He needs to grow up. He probably on drugs
Stop sending him money. It’s only mad because you said your done spending money on him.
u need to stop doing for him
Go to court and get child support stop helping him out you are enabling him
He’ll never get a job and be a responsible adult if you keep bailing him out and taking him in when he’s homeless. Winter is coming and I can’t think of a better way of “encouraging” him than no food or shelter. Otherwise be prepared to raising another child.
You’re the fool who started giving him money in the first place.so handle.
.
Nope. Don’t take care of him and your child. He is just scrub. It plenty of us out here working and some of us have two jobs and he can’t keep one. It’s up to him to maintain a relationship with his child and stop bleeding you dry. Tell him to get out and get him a main job and a legal side hustle, or just a legal hustle job. Quit being a leach.