Sounds like SO many red flags. I’d be willing to bet he’s cheating.
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Bye. Hes cheating.
You and the kids deserve better. Do you want your kids to grow up and treat their significant other that way? They learn behaviors.
Seems hes got a lot to hide.
My husband also works out of town 1 year ago he was working in Pennsylvania and I lived in Florida at the time. The girl found me on fb and wrote me. I knew something was going on, but no proof. It had been going on with him and her for month’s. I decided to work it out with my husband so I can’t tell you to run, but I can tell you trust your gut instinct. Face him and ask him. I didn’t I waited and got a message from the other girl. That’s how I found out. I wish you the best of luck sweetie 
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I am not usually one to jump to conclusions, but something is up. You need to communicate with him and the two of you need therapy to figure out where you marriage us and where it is going.
Not literally but… Gurl u dong need that stresd
Talk to your husband. People grow …together sometimes apart others…work on talking and reasons why u want your marriage to work and how u both can make it better. No man is perfect most cheat have cheated or will cheat as have woman…just cause he looks talks to or even fucks another chick your still his wife
Throw him a curve ball tell him " if your cheating just tell me ,hell tell her to leave the cash on the night stand " if he says anything other than wtf I love you then he’s cheatin.
He’s cheating for sure! He doesn’t see u for a week and doesn’t want to rip your clothes off? Or he’s gay? And um hell no! U didn’t make those kids by yourself! Asshole.
I’d get rid of him, kick him out.
You don’t seem to need him anyways, he seems like more trouble than help!
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Yes your husband is being shady, but you already know that. The sex is a red flag but the fact that he’s not supportive of you feeling stressed while your at home with all the responsibility shows me that he really doesn’t care about you. If I was you I wouldn’t say anything to him, I’d just hire an attorney, file for a divorce and child support. You are already a single mom and it sounds like your doing okay.
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Well first of all why are you making him delete people from his past? You clearly don’t trust him. Second, guys have issues with sex with age sometimes too… Definitely have a conversation about it… maybe try a supplement to help if his libido is low… or maybe he’s just bored of doing it the same way. U just have to talk it out… traveling all the time can be exhausting too…if its possible can you two go on a trip just the two of you or even have a date night… just take time to reconnect… its important for both of you to communicate your needs with each other especially with him travelling… it can be hard… I know because my fiance has had a travelling job for all 4 years of our daughters life…its not easy and it won’t work if you don’t really take the time to make it work and communicate and spend quality time together.
I dont think you are overreacting sounds like my man
Your gut instinct and intuition is not lying to you. You CANNOT ignore that, it is your protection and warning. Something is changing or has already changed. You have to face it head on. Don’t blame yourself and don’t let your mind wander on the what ifs, just focus on what needs to be done. What your able to control rather than wait for the inevitable truth to pry itself from his mouth. This is your family and your life, tell him he needs to take a leave of absence from work for a while. If he takes your request seriously he will stop and listen. This moment in time your in right now is incredibly painful and torturous, don’t draw it out and make yourself crazy. I’m so so sorry you even have to go through this. You deserve a sounding board and support, even if that support means a pat on the butt and told everything will be ok. Dry your eyes and shut down your imagination and make a plan and stick to it. Good luck mama
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Go to your Dr and test for stds. Plan an exit but protect yourself.
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Yikes something definitely don’t sound right with him
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Tell him keep actin up. Won’t be funny when he’s got alimony and child support on 4 kids to pay.
Don’t back down and question him. If he can’t answer without getting mad, he putting his boots under someone else’s bed.
If that is so, tell him get a steppin.
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He’s not respecting boundaries. That alone would be enough for me to say goodbye. Especially when you’re already rocking it as basically a single mom anyway.
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Get them divorce papers ready now leave
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He’s definitely being shady. Start sending some kids with him. If you can work and take care of the kids so can he. They can take their computers He’s living the single life and can’t even listen to you vent. What a jerk
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A whole year? Have you been to his home in his working state?? That would the first thing I did. I’ve heard of people having entire families in different states. That’s shady as hell. Sounds like you’ve been single and still making it work for you your children so if you can’t work it out, you will be alright!!!
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You are not over reacting but I think that you should must talk to him about all his attitude.but sometimes people had double face just try to satisfy the other one with conversation .however you can see that his word are same like his behaviour or tow different things
Tell him to fuck off and move file!Your already single.
I would have started questioning things when he took a job in another state and didn’t ask me and the kids to come too. Just saying
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File for a divorce and full custody of the kids. I’d be sure to file first.
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If something is causing a disruption in how you feel and function, it’s a problem. If he can’t offer sincerity with even listening, you can focus on you and do you and when he comes into town, leave him with the kids. Let him see you on FB etc.
Sounds to me he cheated and still is
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Shit we share FB he has exes on there one went as far to say if she knew we got married she would have came and objected. She would have been put in her place real quick by my husband and his brother
Sounds like a classic narcissist
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Wait is this actually a question
Not overacting at all. Sounds like a double life without the wife! Listen to your gut…
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He’s cheating honey. When he starts making you feel like YOU are wrong, it’s time to bounce. When you ask him questions and he immediately gets defensive, that’s an immediate red flag. You and your kids deserve so much better! Say ‘bye Felicia’ and find a better life for you and your babies! Good luck love 
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Id do a surprise visit have someone babysit the kids and go on up… you need answers, is there friends or family that way that could also check in.?
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Leave he doesn’t care he will fight and says he cares he just do not want to pay child support
You sound like Superwoman! You are doing it all and holding it together. Brava!
Do you know his friends, family or coworkers? Can you ask some of them if there’s a reason he’s especially stressed out to explain why he’s distant? Did he want to have all your kids? Does he feel overwhelmed with the (apparently only financial) responsibility of taking care of them for the next 20 years? Did something happen with his job? Guys are afraid of showing any weakness so fear comes out as anger & lashing out. Is he watching lots of porn? Sometimes that can numb men into not enjoying real women.
Unfortunately, this sounds like he’s cheating and checked out of your relationship, especially if this is new behavior. If he plans to check out of a relationship with y’all’s kids, be prepared to get help dealing with the emotional fallout. Don’t tell anyone likely to spill the beans to him or related to a blabber mouth.
Increase your “village” of people who support you, to hold up you and your children. Work with a therapist to tell the kids what’s happening when the time is right.
Contact a women’s center for tips on preparing to leave. Figure out what to do legally, financially, emotionally. Do not tip your hand. Thewomenscenter.org website is a good resource. Get a P.O. Box, make calls from a work phone, set up a separate account in your name only with another bank (have statements sent to the box). Arrange for a safe house for you & the kids just in case, preferably someplace hubs wouldn’t think to look, and outside of your local area so you wouldn’t run into him.
Maybe because of the pandemic The Women’s Center (in Northern Virginia) will have virtual classes so you can take them no matter where you live.
Good luck. Everyone on here is rooting for you.
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Girl, he shady af!! Read this to my husband and he also agrees that your husband is being shady. Put on your big girl panties and take control of ur life. You dont need no cheating mofo making you feel like shit. Good luck girl 
Ummmm. You need to let him go. Double life. He doesn’t love you. Once a cheater always a cheater. You are allowing it. There should be no other women in his life that he is trying to sleep with. The first time you should of been gone.
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In the first place he shouldn’t have any women on his phone that aren’t your friends also, if you feel insecure than check him out
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Ewwww my best friend’s bf did this. Turned out he had another life while he lived in another state. You need to sit him down and have another serious talk and tell him he needs to start respecting you and your marriage. Or you will look into being the single mom you already feel like you are. Usually if your gut is telling you something, it’s right on. Follow it and decide what you want to do. Just remember you both have to fight for your marriage, not just you. Best of luck!
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That’s bullshit. Either leave his ass if he doesn’t see your point of view. You are worth more then that. You are gold.
Wait; start saving all your money n half of his, he wants to play! Well let the game begin. Show them other chicks he’s broke.
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First off, why is he working out of state? Unless, he is military, I don’t think this is okay. Why would you not all relocate or he find a job near home? He sounds like he isn’t being very transparent with you. Also sounds like an ass. Parenting is hard and even harder having to help for kids with school and still having a job…girl you are more than halfway there dump his shady ass!
Yeah definitely sounds suss
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Leave. No one should be treated the way he is treating you.
Been there also …been divorced for 15 yrs isn’t anything ur doing mostly just the person ur married to. Sounds like ur stable enough to let him live the life he wants away…ur pretty much doing it already minus the sex. A couple in love and that isn’t having sex outside of marriage when they are away for that long should be having sum pretty passionate alone time if u know what I mean and if it’s not there then 100% time to move along and if he comes running back it means he is seeing what he is losing.
It isn’t sumthin that is exactly a yes or no situation for anyone other than you and ur spouse. Follow ur heart life is to short to not be happy and be treated right.
Um no , you are NOT in the wrong
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Nope! Not at all! Sounds like you’re not only over worked and under appreciated, but also being completely taken for granted by the one who’s supposed to love and support you most. You should try going and doing things for yourself on the weekends he’s home and throwing some of that same shade his way. Give him something to fret and be jealous over. Dress up more than usual, but not for him. Dress up and get out of the house. Find something to keep you busy besides being there for him and the kids when he’s home. Whether you do it or not, talk about fun and exciting things you’re doing during the week while he’s away when the two of you are talking/texting, conversations you have with one of your old flames you run across at say kids sporting events or even some of his friends or a coworker…example, “So, I ran into your buddy Sam tonight at (insert child’s name)‘s basketball game. I had my hands full with the kid’s bags and He was so nice. He helped me carry the stuff to the car and even told me my hair looked nice. Made me feel good because I worked on my hair for an hour before I went.” When he changes the subject, find a chance to being “Sam” back up… “yea, Sam said he’s been working out for the past 3 months. He seems to be doing really well. You can definitely tell he’s getting in shape.” Could be a totally made up convo, but the hubby will never know. If he doesn’t take advantage of the time the two of you have together and seems uninterested in your life, don’t whine about it. Simply Remind him that someone else will.
Move on and take him for child support and alimony . Sounds like he is living a double life and has some one in that other life . You can do better by yourself
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That is completely unacceptable! I am so so sorry that you are going through this. You deserve so much more!! 
He is cheating…but has no F balls to leave you
No, you’re not. Sorry you’re going through such a tough time. He’s alienating you by not acknowledging your feelings and recognizing the sacrifices and energy you put into making the family work.
You have valid reasons and feelings. Don’t doubt your pain or reaction. Take care of your heart, because he doesn’t seem to be concerned about it 
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You are not overreacting…trust your intuition…where there’s smoke there’s fire…I guarantee you he is messing around…don’t let him make it about you…this is about him …plain and simple…get a lawyer and know what you need to do …if it comes to that…be proactive NOT reactive!!
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I am mad for you after reading this. This is not okay. You set the standard for how people treat you. Do not tolerate this.
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He’s def getting sex elsewhere because no guy is going to go without sex for a year
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You are not overeacting his selfish!!! He expects you to be a perfect wife, perfect mother whilst he is too busy blabbering about gym, himself and entertaining woman on Instagram and calls you petty. His ungrateful and very selfish. It’s loads of responsibility for you to care for those 4 kids on your own including a minor. Hats off to you. If he cannot try and get you help to manage the kids on your own instead make lane remarks don’t even bother expecting anything from him. It seems his content living a bachelor life the days his away only to come home to you and your kids coz he needs to. Don’t beg for acknowledgment or to be noticed. Your kids should be your strength. Talk to him and make him understand how he makes you feel civilly failing that ignore him. Let’s see how far he goes with his double role life. I hate men who don’t see the hardship a woman goes through and men who feel woman owe it to them to tolerate disrespect.
That’s awful!!! Im so sorry 
! He is minimizing everything you do for your family by the things he says. Also having past girls and girls he has liked is highly disrespectful twords you and your kids! It speaks badly of him not of you!!! He lives away from home and that in itself isn’t healthy, especially since you work as well and are raising the kids! I would sit him down and give him an ultimatum. Right specific points that keep you bothered and unsettled. Let him know that you love him, but that you aren’t willing to sacrifice yourself for someone who doesn’t appreciate all you are, and all that you are doing for him and the family! Remember you are at home with the family, he lives independently… put your foot down!
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You are married… he is not. He is acting single…
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When he comes home, get out of the house, make plans with your friends. Let him stay home with the four to take care of.
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That’s definitely suspicious.
You sure he doesn’t have another family ?? I’m js.
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I’m sorry but he is either cheating or thinking about cheating.
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Take the kids and leave his cheating ass.
It’s hard when they work out of town. I have one 3 yr old and he was gone 2 months, and I know he wasn’t doing anything wrong, but it was HARD for me. I can’t imagine dealing with a year. That’s so much separation. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I hope you have good support system, friends or family.
Definitely being shady! But asking him to delete females I think is wrong. Whatever happened to trust? If you don’t trust him away you even together?
Its shady, immature, disrespectful, the list goes on. Why cant ppl just be honest instead of being sneaky and deceitful! Red flag girl. I’m sorry for the pain he is causing you. You are not crazy! Trust your gut and do what best for you and your kiddos.
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Red flags major. Sounds like he’s sleeping around if he’s not interested in sex anymore and has all these girls on his internet which He Is hiding an refusing to get rid off. His disrespect to you is another sign. Makes me wonder what’s he’s doing when he’s away at work. I would be leaving or kicking him out
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There is no more marriage here…take care of your kidz
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Hire a sitter and show up unannounced wherever he stays during the week.
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You know in you’re heart babe
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In my experience the only time respecting boundaries is a problem is when they’re already being broken. Secondly if you haven’t had cause to question him in the past and you’re feeling this way now! If you have caught him in the past then you already know the signs and pretending iant going to help. I’ve given my SO too many chances to be honest, and I want to say hes finally gotten around to deserving them lol but it’s a long hard battle especially with myself. You have to trust your feelings, the first time I found him lying about chatting with women I had zero reason to question him… so again TRUST yourself, if you feel somethings off either push or make the decision best for you and your kids
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I hate to say it but sounds like he’s sleeping with other females. Take those kids and leave. File for a divorce & let him go.
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He’s wasting your time, this is not a relationship.
Get rid of him.
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Totally if he’s not into you in bed he’s being 100% shady 
change the locks
He definitely shouldn’t have friends on Facebook and Instagram that he’s slept with. He would be kicked out of my house in a minute:joy:
take your kids and leave
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Unfortunately I think he is cheating so you have to decide whether you want to carry on as you are or be brave and tell him not to come home.He has best of both worlds at minute and is taking advantage.Either he wants you and your family or he doesnt either way he shows a complete lack of respect to you all.You will get by without him as long as you and your children are ok thats all that matters.Good luck with whatever you decide.xx
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You are not over reacting.first, he had no sympathy for you and doesn’t seem to care for your feelings. Has lack of respect for you and your feelings. AND makes things harder on you instead of making things better. Including name calling which you are not doing anything wrong. He shouldn’t be doing something that he wouldn’t like, as it should be fair in the relationship. He sounds useless. But he could also be tired. Everybody needs reasurrance sometimes of with certain things. We all need someone to talk to and listen to us and support us. Not put us down.
Is this a short-term thing? Living apart that long will guarantee a failed relationship… I would say he is for sure being shady if working in another state is going to be a long term thing
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That’s not a marriage or even a relationship. You know it already.
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Girl we don’t even gotta tell you this, just throw the whole “relationship” away! Quit wasting your time you’ll never get these years back, you’re already pretty much on your own. He doesn’t respect you at all. Don’t be scared to get what you truly deserve. A lot of times we as mothers try to make a marriage work for the sake of our kids, but our kids deserve a happy healthy mother in all aspects of life!
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Such a sad situation. I really hope you break outta this situation. You deserve so much better and so do your kids
Your gut is never wrong, trust it.
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Tell him he’s having two weeks off work to stay home and care for his kids and home while you go off and have a break. That’s the first thing I’d insist on
You all ready know whats going on so get rid he has already left in his mind so get what you can off him for you and the children and go on with your life you don’t need him your doing fine on your own . Good luck to you and your children . Xxx
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Its so easy for someone else to say leave him, when we all know and lets be real, its hard… just do what you feel is right cos at the end of the day no one really cares wheather you stay or not cos your the one who has to put up with his crap and we all know your not going to leave. but he definitely is cheating on you going by what you wrote
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And this is the problem with today’s marriage… leave file for divorce…how about u sit with him talk to him about ur concerns…tell him theres two in your marraige… work it out woman…and after you have exhausted every Avenue then u have the right to leave if he is cheating well that’s a different story…
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Whatever you decide to do, use or create a support network for yourself because either way in this situation you are responsible for your own happiness, and you & your partner deserve to be happy & it’s important to talk to people. Whoever has written this my inbox is always open
Time for him to stay where ever he is the rest of the week. You’re already a single parent the rest of the week. Just the fact that he can’t be supportive , reassuring and dare I say a tiny bit grateful that you are holding it All down without him there is enough for me to say See Ya! The rest of his trashy actions is just the straw breaking the camels back.
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If you think something is going their prob is something going on with someone else or he is feeling depressed x
Nope, not over reacting. Definitely shady. And quite disrespectful 
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Its not hard! Give him same treatment! When he comes home do ur own things ! Keep busy! Don’t give him attention! U need to get time out ! Children 24/7 around u can be nerve recking ! When hes home tell the children ask ur daddy! Keep pushing them to him when he is home! I am sure no daddy is not going to do for their children! If u cant get out of the house! Then take long hours in the bathroom and toliet😊! You need to block him out! Then he will feel it!
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If your gut instinct says something is wrong, trust it.
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No one changes their passwords and as long as you delete the password change notifications from his email (which you’ll also need access to and don’t forget to delete the trash bin too), he’ll never know you have access. You can go one step further by changing the contact number for all his accounts to your number. So if it ever logged out on your devices you would get the notification.
