Am I overreacting about my boyfriends boys trip?

I had been fine for weeks. I have really bad anxiety and when I say it’s bad I mean it’s HORRIBLE. I have a doctors appointment coming up so I’m hoping I can get some help because this anxiety gets in the way of me doing anything and has caused problems in my relationship. So anyways I need some insight or just trying to find a way to feel better. A few weeks ago my boyfriend had mentioned he’d wanted to go on a “all boys trip” to the casino for 2 days. We have 2 kids at home my 8 year old daughter from a previous relationship (her father passed away 3 years ago) and our 11 month old son. I had mentioned that with my undiagnosed PPD and anxiety and problems we’d been having I was not comfortable with him going and we left it at that. Especially with being a SAHM and doing everything in the house. I’m always stressed and burned out. I also work two brunch shifts as a way to get out of the house. I’ve expressed to him that I need me time without the kids which I never get, or a date with just the 2 of us because I’m always stuck to my kids and this mom is exhausted. Of course I love my kids but I’d feel like a much better mom if I would do something for myself which I am in the process of doing, whether it’s just going to the gym. But I have so much on my plate plus insomnia that it’s been difficult. As for him he always spends time with his friends grabbing a drink after work and sometimes getting home really late (he works night shifts) and when he gets home he plays videos game until 4 sometimes 5am and whines up waking up at 3pm most days. I can’t sleep sometimes because of how loud he yells while playing. He does make time for us on his days off which is why I don’t tell him anything anymore but I feel he spends more time with his friends (all day at work and then after work and then comes home to play COD) then he does with us because he is always sleeping or playing when he is at home.Today he mentioned “Don’t forget about my trip”. I thought he had forgotten about it or wasn’t going anymore. I responded with “the day you do half the work I do at home and the kids, you deserve to go” and he just laughed and we left it at that. I didn’t want to cause anymore drama. I also feel bad because I spent $800 on Harry Styles tickets because my daughter loves him and I felt it would be something nice to do just the 3 of us since it’s been difficult to just spend time with her because of the baby. I’m trying so hard to not regret the purchase and thinking, I’m doing this for my daughter and I can’t wait to see the smile on her face as this would be her first concert ever. Now why can’t he plan something for us as a family? Here I am putting thought and money into us while he’s off planning and spending elsewhere. Of course he is going to be able to eventually go but I just want to work on our problems first and I feel it’s just too soon when things have just gotten better. Anyways my anxiety got really bad all over again to the point I just want to throw up but I don’t want to say anything because he knows I’ve been improving. Am I overreacting? Help!

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I overreacting about my boyfriends boys trip?

l get paid over $ 177 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $ 15588 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

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You should both get time away! If he can book a guy’s trip you can book a girls trip… GIRL LET’S GO!

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It sounds like you need a break aside from his “guy trip”. I would tell him if he goes this weekend, you are going on a girl trip weekend as soon as you can. Yes your family is important but time apart is ok too. If it is that you dont trust him, that’s another issue entirely.

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You kinda are. You should do what you wanna do, and he is taking an all ‘boys’ trip, which he’s told you about and reminded you of. I think it’s fine. :face_with_peeking_eye:

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Here’s my thing, you know I feel like you’re feelings are valid. Being a stay at home mom is hard but also if he’s working, providing and is the main breadwinner then he is entitled to want his time out to. Yes you deserve time off by yourself and that is true and you guys can maybe come together and compromise and say hey since you had a boys weekend can I have a girls weekend trip and meet in the middle. But I think he’s allowed to take a boy’s trip to without feeling guilty just like you should be allowed to when he gets back… So in this instance yes you are overreacting

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Tell him to go and have fun, and next weekend is your weekend. And actually leave and don’t come back for the whole weekend. Maybe he’ll understand what you’re going through, maybe he won’t. At least you’ll get a break too.

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Find a sitter for the 2 days he’s gone and MAKE TIME for yourself. It’s not gonna be handed to you. You have to prioritize yourself even as a mom. Even if you just stay home and binge watch trash tv and catch up on sleep I promise you’ll feel better after a little time to yourself.

Parenting should be 50/50 and there’s not much difference between being a single mom and being alone in a relationship as a mom except the fact that in this relationship you have a grown man to care for and do everything for.

Take the weekend for yourself and then after you’ve been able to breathe you may need to try to communicate this all to him. If it doesn’t get through to him well then you can’t say you didn’t try.

When he gets back, plan something for you and just leave :tipping_hand_woman:

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Yes you’re overreacting. It sounds like you need to find child care and address your ppd with a professional. Spending $800 on a concert isn’t something you do because you expect someone else to reciprocate.
If you want a break, schedule yourself one. You know his schedule, set your plans when he isn’t at work. It isn’t on him to make sure you take care of you.

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Let him take his trip, then plan one for yourself. You can both make it 2 days without each other.

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No ring , so he can go if he wants . But I’d definitely make a girls trip and say good luck taking care of the kids for the weekend .

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I think he should help when he gets home too so you can get breaks and so can he. I can understand where you’re coming from and I dint think you’re overreacting. Maybe let him go but be sure to tell him if he goes you get to do the same thing and he has to watch the kids.

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Did any of you guys read the post?? He has his “boys” time every day. He goes out for drinks with them. Comes home and plays video games with them. When he brought it up, she told him she wasn’t comfortable with him going. He ignored her feelings. She told him every time he said anything that it wasn’t a good time. Her feelings are very valid and she is not overreacting. He is taking her for granted. Girl…Start planning things for his days off for just YOU. Leave the kids with him. Turn off your phone. You deserve it.

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As a Mom who puts everyone else before me, I find that I am the reason I don’t do things most often outside of the house and for myself. It is difficult to balance having a night shift with a family because his awake time is your sleep time. Take initiative and plan something. Try not to give the man a hard time about doing just that. Girl, do you. If your weekend away is with him, get sitters and plan it.

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Eh…… my sons father is exactly like this and let me tell you he sounds immature and selfish and he will continue to always put his guy friends first. Deciding to be a single mom was easier then dealing with that constant crap. I hope you get it figured out :purple_heart:

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Plan something for yourself when he gets back, it’s only fair. If I planned something it would just time for myself, I a locked hotel room, and sleep and order door dash. Lol.

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It’s 2 days
Let him go .

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This was me when I tried to be a stay at home mom. It wasn’t for me. I truly believe it was causing me to go insane and I would take it all out on my husband. Get the kids in daycare and start working full time. Find something you can enjoy!

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Fo on a girl’s trip…

Have your bags packed for a momma trip when he gets back. Go somewhere for 2 days

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He’s equally deserving of alone time and indulging in his own interest and could pour more into the family cup if he had time to unwind and refill his own cup first. Something I’ve learned over the years with my own marriage; MY happiness isn’t the responsibility of my spouse and vice versa.

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Please get the mental help you need. He as a human also needs to have some me time. Yes he needs to do some work. Both of you do. But your anxiety shouldn’t be what stops him from living a fulfilling life.

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Him gone would be my vacation. Sleep :sleeping:

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I will say this… the time my ex-husband started doing this crap… he became my ex! I wouldn’t deal with any of it. If I’m doing everything and raising the kids myself… I would kick him out!

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It’s two days. Stop making excuses on why he can’t go. You could do the same thing in return and get a vacation one weekend. 

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Sell the styles tickets… Hire a babysitter and have a spa day while he’s gone… stop acting crazy…

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Find you a real man sweet heart

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He should be allowed to have time with his friends but you deserve the same. If he isnt willing to step in with the kids so you can enjoy some time away then thats where i see a problem. Hopefully your Dr will prescribe you something to help with your anxiety. I had to talk to my Dr as well because I wasnt dealing well at all and they prescribed a low dose anti-anxiety med and its made all the difference! I feel like myself again.

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He deserves time and so do you.

While I might be annoyed if he weren’t spending time with the family your comment is also off handed. You can’t compare the two it’s not fair.

Plan a little road trip for 2 days for yourself, with a friend, or even your daughter. Leave the baby at home with him; your son is too young to even remember the trip anyways.
Your BF will get to see what you do daily.
I hope your anxiety gets better and that you find relief. :blue_heart:

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You need to grow up.

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And I will say you know I’ve been a stay-at-home mom before and now I’m working full-time working parent plus a college student. So I have so many hats between being a mother, a spouse, a working financial contributor to my family and when I was stay at home mom I had it so much easier because I didn’t have to worry about working and hoping to help out financially and take care of my family. Family and now when I’m going to work I need that time to decompress because I’m so mentally tired from working all day and I don’t consider my decompression time me going out and having fun. I consider that a way to stay off depression, resentment and burn out. Because what happens when you’re not able to have that self-care to decompress? Then what happens is your spouse is going to quit their job because they’re so burned out. They’re so tired. They’ve got nothing left in the tank and then when they quit that job you’re not going to have that extra $800 go by concert tickets. If you feel like your relationship is unequal and your position is unequal, then a good way would be is to work, maybe full-time. That way you can equal out your duties as parent and contributing to household chores. That way now you’re both on an equal footing ground. That would get you both a really good way of seeing how the each other has to handle it with you working and then him have having to step up more.

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It seems as if his mind is made up to go. Maybe have a conversation with him before he goes how you need a break and would like to get out of the house. If he doesn’t do this after a little time passes then you should plan a trip for you to go and leave him with the kids. From my experience when you are a sahm husbands do not understand our role until they have to play it out.

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:cn::cn::cn::cn:ted flag its all him him him id have him singing of a hymn sheet 4 good handhim his red card hes useless u might not be well but ur playing right in2 his hands letting him do all dat hes like a single teen :cold_sweat::clinking_glasses::see_no_evil::hear_no_evil:

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Your “man” sounds like a child. I’m sorry…. Video games? Going out drinking after work and coming home late? Nahhh

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Let him go. Get on some anxiety meds. And do more things for yourself and start planning things for you guys to do as a family when you’re able. I have a 3yr old and 6month old , and i totally get it. Ask for help with the kids when you need it. Some men dont always take initiative or know what they’re supposed to do. We gotta communicate our needs.

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I’m sorry/ I think you are overreacting. Your feelings are valid, and so are his. You should start planning things for you on his days off.

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Definitely overreacting!

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Yes you’re overreacting……
and WTH is wrong with you for spending $800 on concert tickets for a 8yr old? :flushed:
Look your argument about him not do anything at home and that you’re just exhausted all the time, you’re the stay at home mom and he works out of the home, he literally will use this argument for the rest of your life…:woman_shrugging:t2::woman_facepalming:t2:
And trust and believe all of us ladies are completely on your side, but it’s not gonna change anything.
So what you need to do… is plan a girls weekend… NO KIDS… NO PHONE
That $800 you spent on concert tickets could’ve paid for a really nice weekend for yourself :woman_shrugging:t2: look baby girl clearly he’s not gonna pamper you and take care of your personal needs so, you gotta do it!
It’s not his fault you haven’t made time for your friends or hasn’t made a girls weekend. And that’s what he’s gonna say, How long have you excepted his behavior like this? Going to a bar after work not coming home until late ?? :thinking: umm yeah I would absolutely not put up with that. He’s married with kids he has no business being in a bar in till late without his wife. And that damn video game would get broke somehow or come up missing :woman_shrugging:t2: 



Thanks God that you have a Dr. Appt soon .
Everyone deserves me time

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So here is my thing, your feelings are very valid to a degree. Had he come to you with something more like hey babe, i want to get away with the boys for a couple days to go fishing (not the freaking casino) and my mom/your mom is gonna keep the kids for that 2 days so that you can have some you time/girl time then it would be a little different. But the way he is doing it definitely not cool. I’m with you.

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Both of yall need to grow up. The day he does half the housework he deserves to go?
…he works outside of the Home. You’re a housewife. I’d say he does his half. As far as the kids, thats a separate issue. He should be helping care for them and spending time with them to give you a break if he isnt. Also think about therapy for your anxiety as well. And while I get that he should consider your anxiety, it shouldn’t be used as a weapon to control him.
Ditch him for the concert and have your daughter pick a friend to go instead.
But if you’re dropping 800 bucks on an 8 year old, I should think he can have a couple nights with the boys. Both of yall are wrong for just assuming the situation would go your own way and failed to finish the conversation.

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Your problem is with yourself. Not with him.

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I think youre overreacting a bit. Im a sahm too and need to get away/me time too but i dont complain bc my husband is putting food on the table and $ into the bank account so our oldest can do dance and we can do fun stuff in addition to other necessities. My husband plays xbox with his friends and brother after work too after the girls and i go to bed, such is life. Sometimes he works OT or gets called into work when hes off at all hours of the day or night because he is a detective and DRE officer. His regular shifts are 12
hours. I plan everything, as mich as id love a surprise trip or something, but i know my hibbynisnt a planner like that and thats ok bc i chose him.

Get your meds figured out and do a spa day, have a girls night, go shopping by yourself, something. Your boyfriend deserves his guy trip just like you deserve time too. But it is up to you to make it happen.

Sounds to me like he pretty much does whatever the F he wants to do. No wonder your burned out. Get your anxiety under control, start demanding free time, make him step up and stop being a selfish prick. The reason why women are burned out and full of anxiety is because WE ALLOW MEN TO DO THE SHYT AND WE RUN OURSELVES RAGGED. I was that girl just like you once upon a time. Parents have to work as a TEAM, otherwise someone is gonna get the shit end, and become resentful and stressed out. Your no good to ANYONE if things arent balanced, so get your shit together same as him. Maybe going to therapy is a good start.

Does he wana take my boyfriend? I could do with a break :rofl::rofl::rofl:

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Let him have his boy trips and time out but you have to do the same also. You should also plan a trip whether it’s alone or with the girls. If he get time off away from the family you should be doing the same for yourself.

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If you can afford $800 concert tickets you can afford a babysitter so you can get out of the house once in a while too. Go out to lunch with girlfriends. or a movie or just walkaround the mall & maybe buy something for yourself or the little ones. Your life is what you make it so start enjoying it.

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But why can’t he go? I mean does he need to earn it? I don’t understand….do you need him home because hes so helpful? I’d be letting him go so I could plan something for myself that won’t need his approval.:relaxed:

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I think your feelings are valid but you two are going to have to work through this. You can t keep pushing it off to avoid rocking the boat. I hate confrontation and yelling. But you sound unhappy. You need more things in your life. Make some plans for you… plan a weekend away with a friend or yourself. Just relax have fun. Don’t make it an option. Just make sure he doesn’t “forget about your trip” when the time comes. Stand up for yourself

People like video games but when it becomes excessive and you add drinking heavily. It’s a lot. I deal with that now. And not just the video games … But the aggression and rage that comes when its not going their way. That’s intense and upsetting and stressful. I totally get it.
In my opinion. It gets scary. I try to tell him, “hey … if it was easy to beat . Then you wouldn’t be interested anymore, right?” But there’s just no real way to calm him down.

I’m glad he atleast makes time for you. You two just need to sit down and iron some fine details out because this is a long term relationship that ultimately affects your happiness and functioning level.

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Screw this ! Sounds like he don’t want to be tied down

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Ok actually encountered this with my man a few months ago. We never go out just us and we don’t have the time money or babysitters to have dinner or weekends by ourselves.
His BFF was moving across the country and wanted one last party together. They wanted to go to the casino and spend the night. I told my husband that wasn’t fair that I had been wanting a night at the casino for years. He understood and agreed :woman_shrugging: we ended up with a compromise (bc I like his friend) that they would stay at our place build a fire grill drink as many beers and they could handle and he could sleep here. I cooked all the sides and made breakfast the next day for everyone. We had a great time and I got to enjoy the night too

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I don’t think you are over reacting at all! How you’re handling it might not be the best way. Don’t let anyone talk you out of your feelings. If he had been holding up his end(work kids home marriage) I’m sure you’d have no issues! But since he isn’t and putting his needs in front of yours then yea there is a problem. You’re anxiety is prolly acting up because you don’t have someone in corner helping you carry the load of a family. Id say let him go but then plan a girls trip. You have needs too and yours should come first compared to his coworkers or whoever besides the kids! Get your help take a deep breath you are not crazy. Gaslighting is at an all time high! Therapy helps too. Good luck

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It sounds like a bit of everything. I would say your feelings are valid but maybe a bit excessive from the anxiety and ppd. Sounds like in his own way hes having trouble and solving it with his friends and video games. Id say let him go but also try and seek help for yourself and counseling for himself or as a couple. You do alot as a SAHM but as a provider and whatnot men deserve thier own things and have thier own struggles too. Cokparing yours to his is not healthy. Everyone handles things differently.

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You spent $800 on Harry Styles tickets for your child? That ought to give you anxiety. Leave your husband alone. He needs a break, too. You’re overreacting.

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Unless the Harry styles concert falls under the weekend he’s going, I’m confused why you are having the regret. If it’s for your daughter ( and for a family thing ) then that happiness should stay, regardless of what’s happening outside of that particular moment / situation. Otherwise, you may have bought those tickets for the wrong reasons and your holding the wrong attachments to the Situation. Now if you bought those tickets and it does line up with when he’s going on this guy trip, you should have talked about it first. I know you thought he wasn’t going anymore but just because you thought it was a dead end, doesn’t mean that he still didn’t have every intention of going and figured he gave you sufficient notice. I’m not knocking the points your making, you are valid and you two need to talk but I would start with reframing the ticket purchase for starters in your head. That should solely be about your daughter. ( and if it works out , a family event )

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I’m stuck at Harry Styles ticked being $800! :flushed::flushed:
Wow making a killing doing small venue concerts!

Anyway…your feeling are valid and so are his. Don’t use your anxiety as a reason to hold him back. It’s not his fault and if you say he can’t do things because your anxiety is bad he will end up resenting you. You definitely need me time so talk to him and let him know playing video games has to take a back seat sometimes so you can get the rest and self care you need. He’s a dad not a kid so he has to step it up some at home so you aren’t the only one caring for the kids. But imo you’re over reacting about the trip. I hope your concert is amazing! (Wow $800?!) good luck!

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I’m so thankful for my husband he works 60-70 hours a week
Then when he’s off he don’t do anything but maybe go to neighbors for a few minutes but he asks if I wanna go and we wrk around the house and anywhere he goes he asks if I wanna go he always involves my son and me or every once in a while my husband n me will go to Amish country or casino for the weekend or if casino it’s for the night
I have black out spells and he won’t leave me alone even for a all man’s trip for 2 days .
But I don’t leave him alone either except one time I went to Va for a week to our friends and he came that following Friday for the weekend
I do go to Texas to see my kids and my mom n step dad by myself once a year with my youngest son then once a year my husband n me go alone . For a week .

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Sounds like you have threee kids.

Get help for your anxiety. Everyone who does wishes they did it sooner.

It’s absolutely not ok to ask you to Go and then blow
Off your feelings and do it anyways :flushed: personally everyone is different but my other half knows if he did that he wouldn’t be coming home to me and the kids when he got back point blank if he worked hard spent time with the family or even if we agreed on it that would be different if he can plan a guys weekend he can play a date night :ok_hand:t2::raised_hands:t2: this show where his priorities are

Yeah I don’t disagree with your feelings of him gaming loud or not doing much around the house. HOWEVER when he gets home from work, no matter the time he deserves some time to whine down. Also I believe he should absolutely be ‘allowed’ to do a boys trip. Space is very healthy. Plan a trip for your self or with friends next time :slight_smile:

why don’t you stop caring? while he is away get a baby sitter and go out with girlfriends. I’m sure their are friends who miss hanging out with you. when you stop worrying about what he is doing and do your own thing. he will start to wonder why. and make more time for you and the kids.

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No, he’s just another entitled man who doesn’t care if you’re the nanny/maid/slave. He gets to do what he wants. This is so stupidly common these days, I can’t fathom why anyone is even in a relationship with men like this. Actually, I can. They knock women up so they have a reason for them to do all the domestic stuff and keep them around to make their lives easier while they play video games and go do what they want. He’s not going to change.

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Please do get help for the anxiety and have your partner come along to the appointment so the doctor can explain to him
what is going on. Sometimes they won’t think much of it or not truly understand it if you tell them, but the doctor
telling them is something else. As someone who has been to the hospital multiple times now for depression and panic disorder, he needs to be part of the solution as well.

You absolutely need to put yourself first in this situation so you can take care of yourself and your kids or
you could end up as I did, in the hospital.

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Wow. $800 on Harry Styles? I’ve never heard of him. That’s pretty steep. Do you do that often? None of my business, never mind. Sounds like you’re in a rut. He doesn’t get it. Men usually don’t. I think what you might want to do is try to sign up for a hobby class and see if you can get a friend to go do it with you. You can see if you can get a sitter for your kids and her kids and split the cost. That will get you out of h the house and doing something adult for awhile. Some community centers offer ceramics classes and things like that pretty cheap. You could check into it. Or maybe just go out to lunch once a week. That would be good too. If you did something like that, you’d have something cool to talk about with your boyfriend and maybe he would be more inclined to listen to you. Right now you just talk about the kids and the house. He sees those things. Maybe he’ll listen to something new.

Anxiety is in my opinion not the challenge here, being disrespected and letting the patterns that are not working for you to keep being is. One way you could work with this is… fine he goes and when he comes home you have made a list of what jobs in the house get done every day, week, month, and who currently does them. Then discuss hours worked in and out of the house and discuss equity. You may also want to start planning some times you go away. This will be hard at first, the first few times you might not even be able to relax and enjoy. But my guess is if $800 tickets are an option then a day at the spa is an option, a trip to shop without children is, a visit with a friend for tea or wine is. Do this for you and gradually it will become your norm. But as you do this expect push back and probably a few arguments. Find a mantra, “I’m taking some me time.” Or what ever works. When the arguing starts then just say that and exit the discussion. The sleeping part. I think I’d record him from the bedroom and have him listen to it as he doesn’t seem to have the concept that he’s impacting you.

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Hire a sitter and go out the same weekend with some of your own friends. Do it every now and then, when you need space or time for yourself. Don’t even ask him out anymore. He should wisen up once he realises how much time you’re spending with others vs him.

If he works, let him have some time to himself, but I think it’s so ridiculous that he doesn’t help out at all. Just because you don’t work a full-time job outside the house doesn’t mean everything should pile up onto you. Being a SAHM/wife is a lot harder than most people think! You don’t ever get breaks or time for yourself and always have to put others’ needs before yours. Go do stuff for yourself for once! You can’t pour from an empty glass. :heart: It may help relieve your stress! And definitely get help from a doctor for all your mental health issues. Take him along so he can hear from the professionals for himself just how bad things are.

Best of luck to both of you.

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Plan a girls trip for a week. Let him watch your kiddos for a week on his own:)

My fiancé takes a 2 day golf trip with the boys every single year. He’s been doing it for years. I could plan a girls trip for a time when my kids are with their dad, I just don’t. We both work. My kids live with us. I do everything inside the house, he does outside. Plan your own trip! Even if you have to go stay in a hotel for a night or two ALONE. Goooooo and do it. I get the anxiety but you need to handle that for yourself. If you’re uncomfortable then get some therapy or medication. There are tons of OTC supplements for relaxation. Meditate. Do whatever you can to handle the anxiety but let him go and then you go. Maybe he will think twice about going out for drinks all the time or playing video games all night once he has to take care of everything for a couple days.

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I don’t think your over reacting at all,if he really loved you he would understand. Your going to have to sit down with him and tell him how you really feel about things,tell him to include you in his plans and carry you to have a good time.maybe if you have lady friends yall can take a trip see how he likes it

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Dang girl. Get that anxiety in check & you’ll see this with stronger eyes. Smoke a j or something.

Then you grab your bff & start planning a trip just for the girls.

Call of duty indeed. Lmao gtfo.

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Yes. Your anxiety is making you feel everything magnified. Sometimes moms forget they can, not mom for a few hours or days. You can just put something in place for your own sanity just like he does. You catering to what he does then complaining about it or wishing he world drop everything just to focus on you will not resolve it. You know who you chose to make a life with. Just because you’re a “drop everything for my kids” parent doesn’t mean your partner will be. These are important values to discuss before having a family together. He makes plans and just lets you know. You can too. He plays games to decompress. You can do something too and leave the kids with him. Or do something with your daughter and leave the baby with him. You should also invest in finding a free Mother’s Day out for your baby. Take time for yourself and don’t let your emotions drown you because you feel like you can’t free yourself and it causes you to resent your partner.

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So he doesnt deserve to go because he doesnt do half the work you do at home with the kids? But works nights?
I think YOU need to work on YOU. Your husband is your partner not your babysitter, and as unfortunate as it sounds its not up to him to tip toe around your mental health issues. He should be cautious and helpful but shouldnt stop life because you have undiagnosed issues.

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You said he does spend time with you and the kids on his days off so, just because he decided to go on a boys trip this time doesnt mean he won’t do a you and him date or family date next time. You already have a family date night booked, so why is it a big deal? You can certainly book a you or girls trip, with the courtesy of giving him a few weeks notice like he did you.

Youre projecting your anxiety on this boys trip, and guilting him for doing something for himself other than playing video games for a couple hours.

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Yes you are overreacting. It’s only 2 days. I too suffer from anxiety, I think it’s making it seem worse to you than it is. Let him go, maybe a friend could could stay over with you for a Mom’s weekend? And next time it’s your turn to go away for the weekend!

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When he first mentioned it you should’ve told him plain and simple I do not want you to go!!
It sounds like he’s going anyway so You need to figure out if that’s a dealbreaker for the relationship!!
I can tell from this whole paragraph that you wrote you need to stop giving excuses, worked on yourself and go get the The mental help you need!

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def plan a date night for you too, no kids involved! and let him go on his “boyz trip” we allll need a break here n there

You sound like a single mother.

What are y’all recovering from? That probably matters. I noticed how you gave us every little detail and back story about your lives that’s relevant to this, except that. Makes me wonder if that bit of information is the key to us siding with him or you. Which is ridiculous in the first place because it should be you 2 vs the problem not you 2 vs each other.

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l get paid over $197 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18345 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

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Going on a two day trip is not uncommon for men. He doesn’t need your approval. He is not your child. You stated the your a stay at home mom but then mentioned that you also work two brunch shifts to get out of the house. Your husband works nights. You are definitely overreacting. Your husband is the main provider and deserves to have time for himself. He will get burned out if you keep this up

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You sound a little selfish. But okay.

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Plan a two day trip on his days off for yourself and get a break to regroup… in order to be a good mom or wife you have to good within… it’s not a crime to put yourself first

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I’m sorry but “the day he does half the hosuework he deserves to go” … really? He works outside of the home so YOU can afford those $800 tickets that’s for a “family” night out. You know damn well your husband couldn’t care less about going to that concert so just call it what it is, YOU wanna take your daughter. Let him have a weekend and when he gets back let him know you’re planning a girls weekend and then go do your own thing. He works full time so he’s just as equally deserving of his own alone time. You really should’ve fixed yourself before you even got with someone because it’s not his fault.

I can see why he wants to GET AWAY. GOOD LORD. Let him go knock it off. Youvsaid yourself your anxiety is bad let the man have some space trust me guiltily him and forcing him home isn’t going ti put him in a head space that says “you know what I’m wrong” get on some meds then talk to him. I’m sorry I has anxiety too it wasn’t till after medication did I realize I was most of the problem. You look at things different with anxiety issues trust me

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You both have some serious growing up to do. Communication is key and after reading your post a couple times to wrap my head around everything, I don’t think you’ll really notice that he’s gone for 48 hours. He works nights plays video games and then wakes up at 3pm. Maybe you’ll get some sleep because it’s quiet in the house. You are comparing your job (being a SAHM) to being the sole provider for your household. Both jobs are important, both have different levels of stress, both have different parts they play into living a pretty comfortable life. You should work on working through your anxiety. I think you’ve predisposition yourself. From the sounds of it , you could benefit throughout your day with a little better time management. Write down everything that needs to be done, then break it up into days making it more manageable. You may be getting overwhelmed because you don’t have a schedule that you stick to. There’s a lot going on here. Let him go on the trip and you should take a hot bath once the kids are in bed.

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Alright baby girl let’s acknowledge the elephant in the room. He seems to have possible depression, I think the boys trip would be beneficial for him mentally. Yes you also need time, so why not grant his request under the condition that he allow the same for you.

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Your boyfriend needs time with the boys. You’ve got all this pent up anxiety over everything and it’s exploding on this guy’s trip. He should be helping more at home but you need to respect the boys. This situation is separate from the problem. Let him go on his trip and discuss these household issues when he gets home

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If he’s spending his time working and gaming, he’s not a happy man. He’s using work and games to get out of reality. Try marriage counseling. Just bc you’re not married doesn’t mean you can’t do it to help you better your relationship.
He’s trying to do an all guys weekend to try and break out of this slump he’s in.
I’m beginning to think the trouble you guys are going through involves you being unfaithful and you don’t want him to go in fear he will be unfaithful to you.

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A two trip away for him is fine. Make sure you plan your own two day trip with just yourself or your girlfriends the month after that.

You both need time to recharge.

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Sounds like it is time for you to start planning a girl trip and leaving the kids for a whole weekend with him.
You deserve time for yourself! Demand it!

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him having a trip with boys is okay - u should also plan a trip for the girlfriends that r close to u - this will help u unwind some also - and than i would suggest that u and boyfriend have a date night together just the 2 of you’s have your mom or his mom babysit for the night ! you both need a break from each other and kids - doing what i had explained above would help that ! at least you both should have a date night at least 2x’s a month , and going out with the boys at least every other month and for u the same with the female friends ! this may help u both out BIG TIME !

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Well, for start… I am a gamer, and I would have dumped him just for playing COD (it’s a trash game lol) I don’t have anxiety, but I do have insomnia and depression. Gaming really does help to get your mind off things that are troubling you. You should take over his console (if xbox, feel free to hit me up for gamertag :joy:) then YOU can spend all the Xbox time with friends, take over his stuff and see how he feels about that :joy::joy::joy:

Go on a girl trip before he leaves for his boy trip and see how he reacts :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

So you spent 800 on concert tickets and have the nerve to tell him he cant go on his trip…wow🤦‍♀️

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You really need to seek professional help. You sound like your spinning out of control. Some of your ways of thinking aren’t even rational. And yes. IMO I think your way over reacting

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It makes me so sad to seen this women being gas lighted by so many other women.

If you feel something about it, you feel it. You wanting to prioritize fixing your internal issues makes sense. I’m curious if he even recognizes the “issues”? Have you talked to him about how it feels that he only works and plays games etc?

I might let him go on the trip and address things when he gets back. Maybe a reset would help him be more open to what you have to say?

Just some thoughts. I wish you and your family all the best.

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