Let that man go . Itz the excuses he made plans. If u can spend 800 bucks on concert tickets. U can plan time for u aswell. Like he needs a getaway aswell
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She just had a baby and is feeling unloved, overwhelmed and getting no help with anything ,takes care of the kids and household, how exactly is she selfish? Why couldn’t he invite her or plan something for them …boys trip my ass just excuse to not bring his wife and be stupid…put your foot down. Let him go but make sure to plan your own little trip and make him watch the kids while you do… someone with PPD should be getting help not more crap on her…as women y’all should understand how’s she feeling and quit calling her selfish
Overreacting. You don’t want him to leave you because you’re a stay at home mom but I promise if you keep this up, you’ll be a single mom.
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Why can’t he go? You seem overdramatic (prob your anxiety) but you’re making unnecessary arguments. If you want a girl trip just do it , same as him . Neither of you is the boss of the other
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Low B6 and low iron are tied to anxiety.
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I’m a SAHM. I have extreme anxiety and depression… i never get much time to myself. My husband is still allowed to go do things by himself or with friends. It’s a partnership, not a prison. You need to do better on taking time for yourself 
you NEED it. I know how hard it is being touched out and over stimulated by the kids, home and chores. You need a mental health day, but so does he
Hope you find some peace 
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Communication is key here. You both need to be able to talk about how you’re feeling, and ways to make y’all’s relationship better.
As far as doing things for you, you mentioned working out. Find you a gym that has child care. I’ve started working out while the kids are in the play room and I love it! Everyone deserves time to themselves and to pour into their own cup.
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Sounds like someone needs to grow up you are definitely over reacting and you not his boss do this before you deserve to go I would have dumped you
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First of all…take a deep breath. Move up your psych appointment, if you can. There are excellent anxiety medications out there, I highly recommend them and you will be a different person, over time, once you start treatment for your anxiety. It is a real issue and I think it is great you realize you are affected. Yes, you are overreacting but, until you get a bit of help, it is really hard to change how you feel as your feelings are very real.
Next, your boyfriend does need time with the guys. He, too, gets burned out. He, too, needs some time with the guys from time to time. Not every weekend but from time to time. He did let you know about this event well in advance. You have options besides stressing him out to the point where he resents you for not being able to go.
As for that trip - reach out to your family and any friends you still have a relationship with. I know this is going to be hard because you probably have not done anything with your friends for a while but it is time to make a chanfpge. Get one or even two of them to come and stay with you while your boyfriend is away. If you can, go and stay with your family while he is away.
Do not text him while he is on his trip. Do not call him while he is away unless one of your children or you are being taken to hospital. He is entitled to this time with his male friends. Get your family and/or friends to help you keep this resolve.
Now that you have reconnected with your family and friends, please plan to do things with them. Just like your boyfriend is planning to spend time with guy friends, you also need time out of the house. Your friends and family can, if you will engage them and let them, give you some time to be with other people and to do things. Hopefully, your family will want to watch your kids once they see how well behaved they are.
Is there a reason you don’t ask your boyfriend to watch both children? I’m just wondering because you could plan and set one day a week for him plan to watch the kids, even if it is after the 11 month old is already in bed. Even if your free evening is just to go to the grocery store or take a bath and read a book or go and get a pedicure, try to get one evening to yourself to unwind and relax.
Find out from your 8 yo daughter’s teacher if there are any kids that she is close with in her class. Invite that parent and child for a play date: it might be a trip to the park, it might be a craft project, it might be a trip to Michael’s for one of their summertime craft projects, it might be a picnic with a pizza or other food in a park or meeting for an ice cream, something and someplace your 8 yo and her friend likes or might like. Keep it simple: perhaps both girls like to ride bikes or play Barbies. Perhaps both girls like ballet or yoga. You should ask your daughter’s teacher for idea, if you are uncertain. Some cities have free yoga at parks on the weekend. Check and see what services your town has to offer.
A park is always a safe place to meet. If you start to get anxious, you can make the excuse that your baby is getting fussy. A park will also give your 11 month old something to do such as go on the swings or climb.
Do make getting treatment for your anxiety a priority. If there is a cost, please make this a priority anyway. Your boyfriend has a few outlets but it doesn’t look like you have any. Letting anxiety dominate your life has a way of driving friends away and, without outlets, you will start to doubt yourself, you will find it harder and harder to function and your family life will suffer. You are already having issues sleeping and I bet that’s from more than loud video gaming.
After you read this, please give someone in your family or a friend a call. Best wishes to you with lots of hugs.
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Not over reacting at all!
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You’ve lost yourself being a parent and he hasn’t. Your stuck in mum mode and have forgotten about yourself and your relationship. This is a normal thing that happens to women but sadly the cause of alot of affairs and divorces. When he gets back sit and talk to him and organise a schedule where you both have time out alone with friends and together as well as family time. Find yourself again!
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Y’all both deserve a short trip.
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Man so much hate , first I’m sorry this is happening to you , I think is definitely not ok what he does , yes he might want some time for himself; yet I think is selfish of him not even asking to do something with you knowing you spend all this time alone with your kids , if you want him to spend time with you , try to find some activities that all of you can enjoy , a harry styles concert doesn’t sound very appealing for someone of my age ( I’m 24 ) so try to find something that all of you guys can share , if you don’t want him to go , talk to him about the reasons why , there’s nobody else who would understand better than you too 
good luck !
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I think he probably works hard to support you guys alone financially. He should be allowed a 2 day boys trip. You said his days off he is there with you guys and if he plays games at night he should be respectful but he’s not out partying or cheating or doing drugs. That’s his outlet. You deserve one too but instead of telling him he can’t go, maybe try to talk to him about you getting the same kind of getaway with a cpl girlfriends or even the 2 of you. If a man is honest and loyal and takes care of his family, he should be able to blow off some steam too though. I understand you have anxiety but he’s probably got his own as the sole provider and he must do well if you were able to afford $800 concert tickets. It should be five and take for you both though. Talk to him. Don’t just mention something and leave it at that-sit down and really talk thru all of it. If he’s a good husband and father, he’ll listen and you guys will be able to figure out a compromise of some sort. Good luck
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First, you’re burned out. Second, you are lacking sleep when he is keeping you up being inconsiderate, on top of not having an equal partner. Third, he is doing more with the guys than he is with his family. Thus your anxiety being triggered. Especially since he is blowing you off when you bring up your concerns and that you are upset about things. The way you worded that " you don’t even try to communicate wanting more time as a family anymore" and that “you don’t want to create any more drama”, along with “He knows I have anxiety and I need to fix myself” yet he is not being an equal and fully supportive partner…you need to get into therapy. You sound like I did a few years ago when I was with my narcissistic ex. No, you deserve time for yourself, no you deserve a partner that does an equal share. No you do deserve to have support and someone take your feelings seriously. You deserve to have a man you don’t even have to tell that still wants to date you while your together to keep that spark going. Not a man child shirking his duties and shirking being a part of a family and flat out refusing to be someone’s partner. It’s like he goes and does as he pleases with no consideration for anyone else and everything is left dumped in your lap while your being told you need help, your causing drama and being made to feel like you are wanting to much asking for basic needs to be met. Go to that appointment and speak with a therapist. Most importantly, stop gaslighting yourself.
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I think you are overreacting. If you want or need time to yourself then make the time. Let him have his weekend and then you get a weekend and he stays home with the kids. Telling him to do half your job so he will deserve it is ridiculous. Are you doing half his job? You said you are a SAHM so I assume he pays all the bills. I’m sure your couple brunch shifts don’t make much.
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Talk to him in a non judgemental way about how you’re feeling. Don’t make it about being mad with him. He should go on his trip, but make sure you have him get you back where you can go out for a day solo or something. Communication and compromising is so important.
Good luck at your doctors appointment 
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All I’m reading is “I I I I I me me me me me me”
You start by saying your anxiety is so bad now you’re going to a concert, which is cool and all but I think you may be misplacing the word anxiety with “I dont want my boyfriend to go”
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I suggest planning a trip for yourself sometime after your husband’s back from his…then you guys can work together to plan something for the family.
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Let him go to the boys only event without conditions attached
If you feel you need time away plan a girls only event or book yourself into a hotel for a night away, plan a manicure or, since you can afford 800$ on concert tickets, spend some money on a massage or something for yourself
Your relationship problems are not going to be solved by him staying home.
Talk to your doctor if you feel you need meds, get counselling for yourself to work on your anxiety and resentments and maybe consider relationship counselling for both of you later on once your meds and counselling have stabilized you a bit more.
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Doing stuff with the boys needs to be on the back burner until his obligations to his family are fulfilled. If he’s not giving you some time without the kids and not spending one on one time with you, then he needs to grow up and stop acting like he’s single and childless when he isn’t.
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Girl it sounds more like insecurities that are making you like this. You need to focus on you and stop worrying about him all the time. I used to do that and boy it got the best of me. Work on you!! your daughter doesnt need to see her mother like this she will be the same way.
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I think he should be aloud his time out and equally you should be aloud your time also, it’s healthy to do things with your friends sometimes, it’s essential for a healthy relationship! I would arrange something fun to do with your friends for after he’s done his thing and he has to watch the kids while you go off and have some fun- it’s only fair 
it will also give you focus away from feeling anxiety. If you try and stop him doing what he wants he will do it anyway but as a single man x
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With your anxiety, pls do more than meds. There’s therapy’s to help retrain your brain. Meds alone usually don’t help if your processing doesn’t change.
That said, He doesn’t need your permission to go. If you haven’t opened your mouth and sat down to have a real heart to heart, you can’t be mad. He can’t be responsible for not meeting an expectation you didn’t tell him about. It would behoove you to get a babysitter or join a mom group. Make friends that go parks, museums, science museums, somewhere to get you outside.
Yes, anxiety sucks. So does insomnia. But we have a choice, we can either let it control you or you can take control.
Being a mom can be all encompassing, especially with a baby who needs you 24/7. So, make plans and he can be with the kids a couple of times a month.
The best way to do this, talk to him. Organize your thoughts. Write them out if needed. But, talk to him. Really. Expect him to not understand. You don’t need him to. You need him to care that you need help. 
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plan a ‘‘little trip’’ just for you when he gets back, thats what id do sounds like you both work hard moms are good at putting family stuff like the concert first men dont really think about that. plan a you day go get your nails done maybe a massage and book a nice hotel for the night and get some much needed quiet time and rest (or whatever it is that would make you happy) i think its important for both parents to have a break
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Actions speak louder than words. He isn’t trying. You know this.
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This relationship is unhealthy. He should call it quits.
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When you feel anxious read Psalms 23 and the Lord’s Prayer .
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He busts his ass everyday at work to support yall to, yes being a shame can be hard but that man works hard to, it’s not fair for you to try to keep him from going he deserves it let the man go enjoy himself for 2 days dam, after his trip u can do something for your self by your self, if you continue to try to hold him back he will start to resent you and hate you, if you dont want conflict in your relationship then stop being selfish and let him go on his dang trip
I’m sorry this is happening to you but try being a Navy wife taking care of the kids house and work and your husband is on deployment for 6to9 months out of 49 months mine husband was gone 31 on the ship at different times I’m not trying to be hard on u but let him do it you can do this and handle it I have faith prayers sent all goes well for y’all 
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Yes you are reacting.
If you’re going to do it alone while in a relationship, may as well do it alone single….
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He really needs to give you some time alone as well even if it is just you looking around in shops or whatever. Then when he wants to go off some, you won’t be feeling resentment. Hopefully your doctor can help you with your anxiety.
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Sounds like your doing alone just make it permanent. If that’s ho you feel the tell him to grow up n get off the system and lay down with you
I feel sorry for you, I think your husband is still trapped in a kids body. Called a relationship it takes two adults to raise a healthy family. You are the adult in this relationship, your significant other needs to Buck up and become an adult. Trust me adulting sucks, life is hard so he needs to ADULT UP and help you out. If he can’t do that, maybe y’all should go to a marriage counselor.
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I think you should let him go. It sounds like to me he needs a break like you need a break. You just don’t approve of how he’s doing it. Meanwhile you can go to the Gym and make personal time for yourself as you wish and see fit. Then you go and spend 800 whether it’s on your kid or not. That’s really expensive. I don’t think it’s fair to keep him chained to your specific expectations. I understand you have anxiety but that’s something you have to handle yourself and try not to push it on others. If your a sahm and you do not like it or it’s to much try getting a part time job.
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hun i feel for you really i do If he cant make an effort to spend more time with u and the kids plan a girls trip get some u time and let him keep the kids for a while 2 start doing what he does to him he wont like it ik u have kids hire a babysitter for u to go to a movie just you r when he cones home take ur timec It sounds lije this is a 1 way street and u the street and he has no responabilities on itg
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u already have 2 children do u need a 3rd also try melontone night sleep does me wonders
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Tell him when you get a vacation without him and the kids he can go.
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I love how all the women are quick to jump to her side. By her own admission he spends time with them on his days off, he works night shift so how does she expect him to spend time with the kids those days? They are asleep when he gets home. He is the one busting his hump to pay bills and she said herself she only works to “get out of the house” so she is getting time from the kids but then says she is always with the kids… Seems to me she is pretty co-dependant and expects her husband to work his butt off in a job to take care of them all but when he isnt working spend that time with her and only her. Sounds selfish and unhealthy.
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I think you should use this as an opportunity to plan something for just you… maybe let him go and book yourself a weekend getaway
I went on a girls trip to cuba and was mega stressed about leaving. But it was such a great reset that I needed so bad
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Selfish, awful man child he is!!!
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He gets a boys trip, you get a girls trip. Fairs fair. You’re not overreacting. Being a mama is hard, never mind working too.
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What’s the reason behind you not having your own girls trip? Also $800 is A LOT for concert tickets. You said you bought him one too. IMO that’s what you chose as your entertainment. I’d be pissed as a MF if mine spent that much on concert tickets especially if I wasn’t a fan/didn’t want to go.
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How long have you been together for? Also 2 days gone shouldn’t be that big of a deal. You spent 800$ on tickets for you your daughter and him? Why not just buy tickets for you and your daughter and have him watch your baby together? Have you talked to him about how your feeling and what you need? Can a family member watch the kids while he’s working so you can get your time away?! Telling him to do half the work you do an the kids that’s a bit ridiculous, he clearly works full time to support you, your daughter and your child together. I work 2 jobs and take care of 5 kids at home. My husband works 50 hours a week and I would NEVER tell him he can’t go do something just because I’m feeling some type away
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How old is this guy he seems to be to young to be in a relationship well he’s not and you are trying to have a relationship all on your own start getting a baby sitter and go do things you like do you have friends do you have family that can sit for you
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Tell him NO you need him at home. Tell him to play his game but limit his time so he can rest and get up and HELP with the kids!! Instead of he’s doing his thing…y’all do something together!! Go spend time with each other get a hotel room leave the kids with a sitter (they will be fine) and recharge your marriage
If you got him a ticket for harry styles
Sell the ticket and just take your daughter and have him watch the youngest
Then when you know its his off day
Grab your purse/handbag kiss the kids goodbye and say dont forget im having a me day go get your nails or/ hair done or go out to the gym go do something for yourself
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Sounds like you are trying to make him out to he the bad guy so people will side with you on him not going. You started out by talking about your anxiety and then moved you not wanting him to go then started talking about how bad of a dude he is but then turn around and say he spends his days off with you and the kids but then you turn around and say you bought 800 dollar tickets for you and him and your daughter without even asking him then ended the post by saying you don’t want him to go due to your anxiety. You are all over the place with this post but in layman’s terms you want your man to yourself and you want him to do things that you approve of. You have bad anxiety but wanna go to a 800 dollar concert but when your man wants to leave you alone for a guy’s trip all of a sudden you have anxiety. Make it make sense?
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What I dont understand is that you have anxiety with him going on a boys trip but you dont have anxiety going to a 800 dollar packed concert?
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Yes you are. You’re putting too much on his shoulders about your guys problems and your own. Make yourself happy. Put yourself first. It’s not his job to do anything. The less yiu do things like take care of the house and kids with expectations from him the more happy you’ll be.
Get a refund & go away for a weekend just you " let him have kids for that time 
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You will make your relationship so much better if you just let him go a feel good about it…Otherwise he will think you are over denpand on him and he will feel closed in. My separated husband said he wanted a divorce for this only I have Epilepsy and problems with walking from 3 damaged discs in my back that are causing Neropathy in my feet and legs, very painful and almost impossible to walk. I hated depending on him so I stopped but he still wanted me out of my house and made me move, I had no choice into a tiny Apt. by myself and I did it with seizures and all. I had no choices I had no one, no family, no friends he turned them against me. I don’t want that to happen to you. Just ask your family or friends for help, ask your doctor for better medication you can do this! Letting him go on a longer lesh so to speak will give him more respect in you and this is what all of us women want in relationships. Please let him go with an open mind that you will be ok and he will come back all smiles and really happy, maybe he needs this to destress, but you do too, don’t forget that! You matter too not just him…I hope you take my advise I haven’t seen my kids in 9 years separated that long, but a do have a new boy friend who is a sweetheart 7 years now who treats me like gold nothing like my separated husband who seems to like being separated as he doesn’t have to split up the house and the pension, but that is coming before he knows it…take good care, there are people out here that do care like me 
Get help with your anxiety first! You have to take care of yourself First.I suffer from anxiety and it will tear you apart.My Medicine took 3 months to start fully working.I still struggle some days but it literally makes a difference in my self care and how I handle everything in life.
If that guy still needs a “boys trip” to a casino. Tell him to stay there. That marriage will likely end in some form of inappropriate way. Save yourself some time and energy. Leave him now.
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time (past time) for a serious conv … your paths are not aligned as a couple … honor yourself and your kids … what does that look like to you?
get some pills to relieve the anxiety for you ,the husband I do not know!Think hard is this the way you want to live your life ?