I just had a baby a month ago. I have a mixture of postpartum depression and postpartum Rage. This is my last baby and feel like my husband has helped me so much more than with my previous baby. I feel like this has been the best time our marriage has been through. Going back to my postpartum rage, I been mad at my husband for 2 days because of it. Last night he had a boys night out that he had already planed 2 weeks ago. So when he got home and I decided to go through his phone (I know it’s pretty toxic of me but this has been the first time doing it in probably more than 3 years) and I found messages with someone he used to date back in highschool (she doesn’t live in the same state we do, and he has never been out of state without me). I saw pretty old messages of him calling her baby. But I also a found out that they had been messaging for the night he went out with his friends. The messages were nothing serious. I confronted and asked him what was going on. He promised me there was nothing going on and that he was drunk when he was messeging her. After he said that I told him that the best was to get a divorce. He begged me no to do it and told me it was a mistake. At the moment I felt like it was the best thing to do. I asked him why he did something like that when I need him the most. He knew I was so vulnerable because of my postpartum. He told me so many times he was sorry that’s he never wanted to hurt me, he asked me what did I want him to do so I could forgive him and that he has always believed I deserve the best. After he saw I wasn’t changing my decision of a divorce he told me he was going to respect my decision but he wanted me to stay at our home so I would not struggle with our kids finding a new place. I told him I didn’t want anything that we built together, I told him he could keep everything. A whole day has passed by and I don’t know if I over reacted or if I should keep my decision. I really love him and a part of me feels like I didn’t have him a chance to explain himself. But my other part says to leave him get a divorce and give me my place.
Coming from someone that was in a really bad place with postpartum depression…please go speak to someone. I’m not saying you have no right to be upset or even angry, but it’s bordering on excessive/ obsessive. Make sure you’re in the right head space to make life altering decisions, especially regarding your family
Hard to say. Had very similar situation. Husband begged and pleaded and said he was sorry. So I left it alone. Few months later…texting her again and not so innocent and then cheating followed shortly after. His ex also lived in a different state so he didn’t cheat with her, it was with someone else, but if all he has to do is get drunk with his friends to start thinking about another woman enough to text her while he’s married, friendly or not, I wouldn’t ignore it. Because I did ignore it and it turned into a disaster for me. But do get yourself some meds. But I wouldn’t ignore it. Just me
I mean I agree he shouldn’t be texting his ex even if it’s just cause he was drunk. But this is a huge leap just because of that. I would go see a doc and maybe get on some meds. Sounds like you are struggling and need to regulate.
I don’t tolerate that stuff period. People will try to say well it’s obviously you and postpartum. No, sweetheart! He broke your trust. He was more than likely extra helpful with this new baby because he felt guilty. People act like it’s no big deal texting your ex calling her baby. Nope I’d get that divorce. I won’t be with a cheated or a liar. People do make mistakes but a mistake happens once you said he had months worth of messages. That’s plain emotional cheating. And you know what sucks the most? You are vulnerable and it does hurt more right now. So think about that. If someone who claims to love you can do something like that while you are at your worst then they don’t respect you. if your heart says leave, leave.
What was the conversation about? You said there was nothing alarming? Sounds like you may have overreacted, but I don’t know all the details. Before making any rash life changing decisions, please seek help for your depression from a therapy/psychiatrist. Good luck mama
You definitely have a right to be upset, but to divorce him over it? Like you said, you have postpartum and you’re very sensitive right now. Please stop divorce proceedings and take some time to think about this.
Please seek medical help. Post partum is serious. Honestly, that would make me uncomfortable, but I don’t think I’d divorce over it, especially if the messages were nothing serious.
That would be enough to break the trust with me. I would leave.
- Call that woman and get her side of the story! You deserve comfort during this time and I know it is controversial but I think spouses have the right to look through their phone. Your gut told you to. You are not crazy, you can see a doctor and talk to someone but there is nothing wrong with you. You deserve transparency and respect
This is a torn decision type.
While you -could- forgive him because he technically didn’t do anything ‘wrong’ (believe me, in my book it’s wrong), it’s still emotionally scarring to you. He called someone else baby and put priority of messaging them on top, even when out of it.
You haven’t filed for divorce yet, so sit down and have a discussion with him. Get yourself some therapy and some help with the postpartum so you KNOW whether you’re truly okay with the decisions you’re making.
You have complete rights to be upset over him messaging and talking that way with an ex, especially when he was hiding it and for so long.
This comes down to whether you can forgive him for what he’s done or not. Only you can make that decision in the end. Whether you guys can work out a way for him to make it up to you and both of you clear up what you’re okay or not okay with and all.
Note to readers: Emotional and communicative cheating is still cheating. Doesn’t need to be physical.
I mean all you have to do really is read this post to get your answer. I think a lot is gonna depend on when he was calling her “baby” as well. While you were together? Before? I know that your hormones are raging right now, but you said yourself the messages were nothing to be concerned about so why in the world would leaping to divorce be the right answer? I mean think about your kids too. I’m all for getting out of a relationship if things are toxic or he’s cheating. But this doesn’t sound like that. Take a step back. Go talk to someone to get your post partum under control. I can’t imagine divorce would be a comparable decision to this situation. Unless you truly just don’t love him and want out and are making this the excuse you need to do so. I’d talk to a therapist before making such a rash decision off of such a minuscule infraction. The punishment doesn’t fit the crime here from what I’ve read.
You’re jumping the gun in this. There are many things you could try before even considering divorce. It was a next message an innocent one from what I’m gathering from. You’re going to regret getting divorce once all your hormones settle. Please seek help for your Ppr/ppd
Was he calling her baby in the messages while y’all were married? I have serious trust issues and something like this would break the trust for me. Something was underlying if you felt the need to even snoop his phone in the first place idk. Reminds me of my ex. I always felt something was off. It’s complete opposite with my husband now. I trust him more than anything. I stayed in my first marriage bc of our kids and to not break up our family but trust and loyalty is everything.
I would ask you to please speak to a professional and don’t get divorced. Regarding the texting of his ex I would want to know the root of his feelings. Why does he feel he needs to continue contact with her. Maybe he isn’t completely over her still, but this isn’t anything to end your relationship with him over. Just something the 2 of you need to talk about once you’ve cooled down. And he needs to be open and honest. You do have a right to be upset. Don’t doubt that. I just think you’re going a tad extreme at the moment. Not saying divorce isn’t an option if both of you feel that his feelings are too strong for this ex. Just saying maybe he is just missing some old life he had and he needs to know he isn’t getting that back as it’s the past. And he has a present and possible future with you. I would need to know what his thoughts and feelings are to determine if divorce is the answer. I don’t care what the text say. He may be working up to asking her something he has yet to say to her. And I don’t care that he was drunk either. He has her in his phone and texting her long before he was drunk. Hope everything works out. My best to you and baby.
Get healthy before you do something you will regret!!! I have male friends that I have had for years never had any romantic feelings and we stay in touch.we grew up in the same neighborhood.tell him how you feel.
No! Don’t do this to your family! Work through it. You’re in an emotional and vulnerable state right now.
Girl I definitely think you over reacted a little with jumping straight to a divorce. Is that really what you want? To throw away your whole marriage for him texting someone? Yes I understand you feel betrayed and you’re struggling with pp but I don’t think that’s grounds for a divorce especially if you took your vows seriously. Please look into therapy for postpartum and marriage counseling before destroying the life you worked so hard to build.
You definitely OVER reacted…
Hi love. You are not crazy for feeling upset about it. I definitely agree that post partum is no joke and definitely talk to your doctor about that. But aside from post partum and hormones raging, you are still normal to feel hurt. We’re expectations set when you got married about this? If not, I’d set some boundaries . I personally don’t feel like it is ever a good idea to talk to ex’s. Nothing good can come from it and there is just no room in my marriage for it. Explain that to him and if it ever happens again, then that may be a game changer. Best of luck to you mama.
Wow just texts and that brought up all this. You need to see a doc and get some meds
You already saw the messages yourself and know it was nothing you already stated she lives in another state you already stated this has been the best time in your marriage so literally you know your postpartum has gotten the best of you and you also know you did over react and need to maybe talk to someone
I get it!! My husband did this In the beginning of our relationship (things were already rocky between us so I was angry) the messages were innocent and he honestly didn’t see the problem until I asked him if he’d be alright with me having any contact with my ex during such a vulnerable time. He apologized and stopped contact immediately. Sometimes people don’t see an issue with their actions until they are reminded how they’d feel in the other person’s shoes. His previous relationships weren’t as serious as ours either… they pretty much didn’t care if they talked to each other’s ex’s. That is, until cheating occured. Lol but the time it happened in our relationship, I expressed that I wasn’t okay with it. He apologized and respected my boundaries. Communication about boundaries plays a big part in relationships. It seems like your partner was oblivious to the damage of talking to an ex could cause and is genuinely sorry. Talk it out with him and possibly seek help for your PPD if you aren’t already.
I feel some details are missing. Did he call her baby when y’all were you together? Or before you were together. Has he done anything like this before?
I threatened divorce during my ppd different situation but when my hormones calmed down i realized i was just tired, stressed and hormonal.
Well that escalated quickly…
That’s a rash decision when you know you are in a vulnerable mindset. I think you need to take a step back, get some help, and re-evaluate before you blow up your whole life—especially since you love this man. Good Luck!
I’d divorce him, too. Idc if it was a drunken mistake or not. He talked to another woman BEHIND YOUR BACK and apologised for it. He knew what he was doing. You have every right to feel hurt and make these decisions. You’re sitting at home with a baby and he’s out getting drunk and texting exes? Not an overreaction at all.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I overreacting about my husband texting his ex?
You need to see a doctor. Like asap. Do that before anything else.
Um I think you may be over reacting. If the messages weren’t anything serious you need to see a doctor for one and two be an adult and have a conversation with him about it instead of just going straight for the divorce.
Couples therapy and a visit to your private doctor first before making any harsh decisions,I do believe though if he is that quick to be okay with just goin ahead and separating , I’d be weary of that but that’s from my personal experience.
Ummm but why are you married in a committed relationship where you took vows and he’s messaging exes? That’s not ok. You need trust and loyalty. Also how would meds help her process that her husband is texting his ex?
It’s all about boundaries. You may not need to jump straight to divorce. If this is a first offense, you need to express how it made you feel and it wasn’t ok. It wasn’t virtuous or of good report. The way that you feel is your body’s way of saying I don’t like this our boundaries have been violated. If it happens again, you need to evaluate what you want from each-other and the future that you have. He’s drunk texting another woman ? When is that ever ok? Old text messages where he’s called her baby?
Write down how this has made you feel. Think clear and calmly. And if it happens again recall how you felt about it the first time and make the decision that you don’t ever want to feel like that again. You deserve respect, honesty and loyalty and emotional maturity. Take care mama! Don’t hesitate to reach out.
Also. I would separate the postpartum symptoms from your husbands actions. What he did wasn’t normal and not ok. Postpartum depression is a very difficult thing. And the reason that you are upset isn’t due to it! A therapist would help you understand the difference between the two.
Definitely an overreaction. While I would be pissed about him calling her baby, your hormones are way out of check and you need to give yourself time to cool down and make sure this is what you really want
Are they flirting or general conversation.?
Stick to your guns!!! I’m 53 and have been there and lived it!!! His excuse of being “drunk”, is a cop-out and just the beginning of things to come!!! RUN RUN RUN!!!
I would seek help with your postpartum problems and then rethink the divorce. If you still feel adamant about it then go for it
You’re right to be upset. I wouldn’t blame that on the PPD.
Welp. If he thinks of her when drunk then you should let him go. Cheaters NEVER change. They bargain and learn to hide it better
You overreacted but he should not be texting some girl
Gurrrrl idk if this postpartum or what but you need to seek therapy. First of all going through his phone is bananas. There weren’t steamy texts. Yeah he should have texts but damn Bertha!! Calm down and talk to him like an adult
If you saw the messages and you’re saying yourself that it was nothing serious then why would you make such a big deal about it? He didn’t try to hide it from you, he admitted that he screwed up and he’s trying to make it right with you. I recommend that you get yourself to the doctor and get some help ASAP. You just had a baby and all of your lashing out is not good for you or the children.
If you went through his phone after a night of drinking, that means that he probably has given you reason not to trust him after a night of drinking.
He also sounds like he is owning his stuff, so I would suggest counseling to heal the relationship.
A lot of men would deny deny and push you out of the house, but it sounds like he does have some respect.
If you feel like separation (not divorce) will help him see that his choices, drunk or not, are seriously harmful, then follow through with a separation, but go to counseling and see how that helps things.
U need to get help from a Dr ppd is very real. I would say that u need to heal urself before making a big change right now. Me I would not thro away my marriage but I’d Def seek counseling or some kind of medical treatment first
You’re filing for divorce because he texted an ex from years ago that you admitted was nothing to be concerned about and he explained it was nothing? Was she attending the guys night out?
Please acknowledge that you have a ridiculous amount of hormones running through you on top of what’s likely sleep deprivation. It’s not really the time to make major life choices.
I’m not saying any of that to be mean. I’m just saying it because perhaps I’m missing something. It seems from what was posted you are overreacting. You admit he’s there for you more than ever and then contradict the statement saying he knows you’re vulnerable.
You need to see a doctor. Stat. It sounds like irrational thinking, which could be part of PPD.
While I would be livid and completely understand where your coming from, I don’t think I’d get a divorce. Him messaging her especially while drunk is an issue, and completely disrespectful but I think counseling and him proving he won’t repeat this behavior
1 - speak to that woman and see what’s up
2 - marriage counseling
3- you see a dr for yourself deal with your post partum issues & help yourself be better.
I would be pissed too. But he said sorry etc. Have him block her and move on unless he has a history of this. Don’t listen to these other women, if their man did it they would be upset too.
Hopefully reaching out to all of us will help you. I think you’re just full of hormones and emotions right now. I agree Maybe see your doctor as soon as possible as well as a therapist for a couple visits. See where that takes you good luck mama
It doesn’t matter if it were flirting, or just having a casual convo. Y’all are MARRIED. he should not be talking to any other females especially an EX. Drunk or not. I would divorce and never look back. You know your worth. Do not settle for that. Cheating is cheating, even if they didn’t have sex!
I totally get this. That would have to HURT seeing him messaging a woman from his past. Especially when he was drunk and out on boys night. Its like he was thinking of her the whole time he was away from u. But i dont know about going as far as divorce if he didnt go any further than the text messages. Postpartum is NO joke, i had to be put on anxiety and depression meds. So please take that route before you make a huge decision like divorce. Sure it truly hurts when someone does this to u, but he seems to realize he made a big mistake. You said urself the messages were innocent enough so its not like he was getting nudes and stuff and having a secret relationship with her. If it was just talking, i say take some time and see how u feel. i 100% do not think what he did was ok, but idk if divorce is the answer. Unless you know that you will not get over the distrust that he caused.
I had post partum depression and please go talk to someone I would go for therapy and I would apologize to my husband and ask for time …maybe you both need some therapy…he was wrong and I think you are not yourself…I was not it is nothing to take lightly post partum…please keep us posted…
If he wanted to talk to a woman then he should have called you.
I think you overreacted calling for divorce over texts that weren’t serious, instead of trying to resolve the issue. Relationships aren’t disposable and require work from both parties and he doesn’t get a pass here, but neither do you. You confronted him, he told you, he didn’t try and hide the fact that he messaged her–I think your hormones got the best of you. I suggest you see a doctor, then I suggest you stop throwing the word “divorce” around like it’s a pair of shoes because that’s a change that will not only effect you, but your kids and your husband and it should be something you firmly believe in, not just because you got mad and didn’t know how to handle the situation. After you see a doctor and get help, then I’d sit down and talk to my partner; not talk at, accuse, or belittle but have an actual conversation and discuss both of your needs. Maybe even seek out couple’s therapy.
The amount of women telling her go on meds and this is HER fault is no wonder so many men being raised up to be such cowards
I understand how post partum can make you feel, but if he didn’t say anything inappropriate, apologized and is showing you enough respect to do what you want to do and even giving you the house, he seems like a nice guy and I feel like you’re probably overreacting and will probably grow to regret that decision. It’s a high school girlfriend, he wasn’t flirting and she isn’t in the same state. I don’t feel like you have anything to worry about and I don’t think he had bad intentions.
I have a friend in NY. I’m in Arkansas. We used to “date.” We’ve known each other since 2010. He is engaged and has a kid. I have a boyfriend and I have a kid. We talk. Sometimes the texts could be considered flirty but it’s nothing over the line. I’m telling you this because you may need to take a step back and reread it as not the wife. Read it as a friend glancing over the texts. Is it still crossing the line? Is it inappropriate?
if you don’t go take a nap…
i dont condone cheating or messaging exes but damn i can kinda see why he would… you’re too irrational at this point & you need help.
messaging her won’t fix anything as she does owe you anything & just makes you look crazier.
Typical. Alcohol used as an excuse.
You definitely need counseling for the post partum depression and marriage counseling for the 2 of you. Don’t rush your decisions. Give it time. Talk to your husband and try to work through everything. It will be easier with a counselor. There are free counseling in some areas. When you rush a big decision, you make mistakes. I don’t like what your husband did but he didn’t sleep with her! There wasn’t any sexual talk in his texts. I know you hurt and I understand that. I would be hurt too. But it’s not something I would throw my marriage away for. Good luck!
Before you do anything talk with a therapist. Please.
U even said it wasn’t anything serious they were txting about though. He didn’t deny anything and told u nothing was going on. But filing foe divorce bc he texted his ex? People are so quick on divorce over the smallest things but you need to talk to someone about your ppd bc it ruins relationships more and more bc women don’t get the help they need. I went theough it almost ruined my relationship. But I stayed and fought for it. Donf give up so quickly over aomething small. Now if they were setting id say boy bye but that’s not the case. Its definitely an overreaction. Get yourself help love
I was always told when someone was drunk their true feeling came out. I don’t know if it’s true or not. Try counseling to see if that helps. I wish you and your family the best. Hopefully it wasn’t anything to it just friends.He told you. He could have lied to you.
I’d be salty but wouldn’t propose divorce over it
Postpartum has clearly got you going bat$hitcrazy and overreacting. Get help from a professional before you destroy your’s and many other’s lives.
Dam over react much?!?!
Yes, you’re overreacting. Being mad and confronting him absolutely okay, but wanting a divorce? That’s overreacting. You need to find ways to cope with your anger even if it’s medicine. There is an imbalance and while it is something you cannot help, you need to figure out how to manage it.
Respectfully… seek help. You’re literally entertaining the idea of giving up the roof over you and your children’s heads because you “don’t want anything you built together” because of texts that you said were nothing to be concerned about. I’m not saying him texting her was right, but your response to this is not something that has been rationally thought out.
Her number shouldn’t even be in his phone. And, I don’t think your overreacting at all. He was drunk, that’s why ?? Gimme a break. Don’t get a divorce over it, just make thing very clear. Don’t put up with that.
Drunk or not that is NOT ok, but only you know if that is truly worth throwing your whole relationship away over.
Sounds like he’s not fighting for you very much. I think he’s a loser for using his guy time to text some other bitch. Funny no one else is saying that on here. I don’t think you should have to accept that - pregnant or not. He shouldn’t be texting anyone “baby” but you. Just sayin.
He wants his cake an eat it too…
The very 1st time I caught my boyfriend cheating, he blamed being drunk. He was drunk, but that’s no excuse. I stayed. Then found out he cheated with another woman and then another. He wasn’t drunk when he started talking to these females. He was only drunk when he was trying to have sex with his baby mama that he told me I didn’t have to worry about because she had a man and they had a child and lived together.
I started after he cheated n cheated n cheated and it didn’t feel the same. I lost so much respect 4 him. I started 2 hate him. He knew I didn’t love him anymore. I tried to get over it, but I just couldn’t.
I felt so stupid and humiliated.
You definitely need to talk to someone. You most absolutely over reacted in this case, in my opinion. You were looking for a fight from the beginning. Make sure you’re seeking help for yourself and that you have a plan for what you’ve set in motion.
this- coming from someone who IS friends with a few of my exs and we check up on each other every so often (maybe like once or twice a year-usually if im bored) they werent sending pictures, they werent flirting, you said YOURSELF you did not see anything questionable in the texts… now if you had seen something in those texts that were red flags- THAN YES you definitely did not over react. this is all your post partum hormones making your decisions. not your rational thinking. TALK TO HIM! tell him everything you told us here. I know its hard but if he did say what you said he said to you, he will be your BEST support when you decided to seek help! but i highly recommend- dont wait to long to get help. ive been struggling with ppd since my 2 year old was born. but ive also been through 2 miscarriages in the past 2 years which have added to it- it took me SOOO long to admit i needed help and to reach out for it! My husband and i have been happily married for almost 10 years. and my ppd and irrational decisions almost cost me my marriage! he sounds like a great husband to you, PLEASE seek help before its to late!
You need to go to therapy and get treatment for your PPD before you make a life changing decision
I am not defending what he did. Y’all need to talk about it, but you are definitely overreacting telling him you want a divorce for that. Idk how long you’ve been married , but you’re going to be very unhappy or unmarried in the future if you think your spouse is never going to make a mistake… like calling another girl baby…. Yikes. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’d be mad but
You’re using him texting a an ex as an excuse . Period no one gives up that quick over a damn text wow . His best thing to do is divorce your butt .
To me it sounds like the Devil is coming to do what the Devil has already promised to do, destroy, kill & divide. Satan HATES family units! Pray for your husband, get into the Word, go to Church, I promise you - God promises to use all of our bad, for good! I have personally witnessed this over & over in my life.
You are in your feelings. I would suggest seeing a therapist or counselor to work through everything and work on your marriage.
I think there’s a difference between whether you are right to be upset - which you are - and whether you are jumping into a life altering decision to quick. You can postpone the decision and deal with the post partum issues. Then revisit this decision. It may still be that divorce is the right move but that doesn’t need to be decided now.
Listen to the side of you that says leave him, get your divorce, but give HIM some peace.
Think you overreacted a little bit. Blame the hormones and work things out with him.
Honestly. He seems like a really good guy. Keep him. They’re hard to fine. You said it wasn’t serious. And you said when he was calling her baby it was forever ago. I battled with post partum depression and rage. I overreacted to a lot. Good luck
U want a divorce…over text messages with an ex which were not so alarming…just decide what you want… divorce for no conc reason…go ahead
You ain’t thinking straight but what I will say is this if you wanna ruin the life of your kids then sure why not crack on
Sure didn’t take much persuasion for him to agree that it’s over okay let’s get a divorce sounds like this is what he’s been waiting for… I’m sure the next time you go to get into his phone his password has changed.
Dont ignore it you both need counseling he obviously has feelings for this person still but also dont jump to divorce so quickly and loose roof over yours and your kiddos heads find better solutions first
Now is not the time to make huge decisions. Go talk to someone
You need medical help with your postpartum depression. Your becoming obsessive.
Take a break and get some therapy for a few months before you make any permanent decisions. That is my rule for myself. I don’t have ppd but I do have bipolar type 2 and during depressive episodes I am convinced nobody loves me, can’t trust anyone, etc.
your makin these decisions without thinking clearly. please go speak to a therapist before you make life altering decisions for you & your children. your not in the right head space to make this decision right now.
I would suggest counseling and maybe couples counseling. That way you both can navigate these changes together
I don’t think divorce is the solution if you really love him…
I am very self conscious and over think and honestly if I had a good relationship with my husband and this happened I would just say it bothers me and please don’t talk to her…
Honestly just sound spike your hormones raging.
Hun I understand why you are so upset. But yes your over reacting. They were in high-school been alot of years I don’t think you should break up your child’s happy home for one mistake. Has he cheated or done this before?
On the other hand if youre willing to throw it all away that easy maybe it was a decision made in your head for a while you didn’t know how to get out
Theyre an ex for a reason. If he wants her back let him go.
What he did was not okay, but he responded to it the way he should have. I would say that the stipulation for what he did is that he has to block her and cut her out completely. I’m not sure why he didn’t do that to begin with. Exes are exes for a reason, and they have no place in current relationships. Don’t go through with the divorce, unless you find out he has actually cheated. There are a lot of hormones flying around in your freshly postpartum body and mind. Which is not to say how you’re feeling isn’t valid, because it is. Just try showing mercy, and explaining how you’re feeling to him. and congratulations!
I think u should seek a therapist maybe both of u can talk to an u can go to on your own.
I also feel that although your feelings are valid i dont think this should end up in divorce though u need to set some rules in respect to what u expect
Yes you over reacted, you said it yourself , nothing was really going on in those text messages. You keep saying you need him and he is there for you more then ever, do you ever think about he feels? Maybe how you’ve been treating him , maybe he just wanted to feel regular again just for a moment and your reaction is to divorce him ? And he hasn’t cheated, more seen the women. Sounds like he’s stressed as well and wanted to remember times that wasn’t so hard, postpartum is a bitch, hard to think clearly and feel for the other person, get help and stay with your husband, you’d rather have a broken family then work on yourself and your relationship over some harmless texts
You honestly jumped the gun with this if you saw there was nothing going on between them then what was the need to tell him a divorce was best even if the relationship has been good that’s just asking for more problems for yourself later on. I’d talk to him and let him explain his side and if you still feel a divorce is best then at least he is being a good sport about it
Maybe divorce is best for him