Am I overreacting about this situation with my neighbors son?

Am I overreacting? My daughter is only two, and the neighbor boy across the street is like ten, and every time he sees my daughter outside, he makes moaning noises! During the summer, he always tries sneaking over to our yard to play with my kids 4&2. Well, we put a camera up outside where we view it from our phones since I have an infant, and my oldest two are right at the front door. The most they are ever left where I watch them on my phone is to walk inside the door and grab a bottle of water to make a bottle. But anyway his mom is full-on psycho like every other day the cops and everything are at their house from her threatening to kill herself or whatever so this kid does what he wants until the town cops bring him home Idk how to handle this.

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Maybe he has a disability? What is he actually doing?

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Is this about the mom or boy?? I have 6 kids and NEVER left them alone outside… if your always around to supervise why the big deal. Maybe boy has other issues you dont know about

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Totally not sure what you’re asking

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Is he hurting your kids. Maybe he just needs a nice family to be around since his family seems to need some help

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Maybe try including him if his mother has mental illness issues. Seems as though he’s just looking for playmates or a positive way to spend his day…As far as the moaning noises go maybe he has a little something more going on with him. Including him first would be my choice if something then became an issue then maybe talk to someone.

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Can you report it?
Not so much to get her in crap - but for his benefit? He could use some structure and authority. He might act ‘weird’ but who knows what he’s been exposed to based on your description of the household he’s being “raised” in.
I would try and get some help for the child.

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What is the question? If the cops are over there so much why not voice your concern to them?

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Perhaps he has a disability or mental health issues himself and if his family is in such disarray maybe just wants to be included.

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You worry about yours and let them tend to theirs…noises aren’t hurting your kids

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Don’t let him come around, tell him to leave if he does. And mind your business when it comes to your neighbors. Really not sure what kind of advice or answers your looking for.

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It’s weird that family and children services is not already involved if she has cops there and saying she wants to kill herself.

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To call a person “psycho” for trying to kill themselves makes YOU the problem! Mental health is NOT something to joke about and that boy probably sees you guys across the road and wants a to be a part of your lives as it’s different to his own. Unfortunately your ignorance won’t see this so he’s probably better off being kept away being honest! He’s a kid no matter what age. You’re making him out to be some sort of predator!! If you’re worried about the child’s welfare you could contact the appropriate services to voice your concern but anything else just ignore him as he doesn’t deserve the likes of you!! I hope your kids grow up with a different out look on life

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Not sure if this is about mom or kid. If kid, he’s either being silly or has mental disabilities. If it’s mom maybe call cops for “welfare checks” call cos and report anonymously

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He sounds lonely… if he plays appropriately let him talk to him… you may be that person that makes a difference in a childs life

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I think this kid is more sinned against than sinning. At the end of the day he is only a child but sounds very troubled, unless he has some kind of disability. Just keep your children inside if hes playing and keep an eye, that’s all you can do, or report it if you think something is going on within his home that it shouldn’t be. His situation with his mother sounds very sad, but I wouldn’t call someone a physco. She obviously has alot of pain inside

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The moaning noises are bad but it sounds like his parent is not going to provide any discipline, and the only way to make changes is to keep your daughter away from him and call cps on the boy’s mom.

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He’s not hurting you or your kids. Obviously there are problems at his house and Im sure you’re not helping by adding to it. If you don’t want your kids to play with him be an adult and make sure your children aren’t around him. Hope this helps

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I’d pack up & move if I was you :flushed:

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He seems like he needs attention or help. If his mom is really like that, try talking to the boy. Tell him stop the noises and he can play and hang out.

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call social services i used to act wildddddd but it helped me a lot to be in foster care and gives him the chance to go to college for free and have the support and love he deserves while also working on his behavior

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Protect your children yes. If you are that concerned. Be outside with them. (If I read that right that you let them right out your front door) all it takes is a few seconds for something bad to happen. Is the boy autistic or have some kind of learning disability? Some children that have those disabilities make sounds like that. Maybe he gets excited when he sees them because he wants and needs someone to play with. Either way. Trust your instincts momma! Do what’s best for those babies. Also… if the child has something mental going on, I’d be super kind to him… you might be the only one to show compassion to him. Good luck.

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This is how you handle it, very simple…go in your unit and shut the door and mind your business…good luck.

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Idk maybe try ignoring it? Or better yet, extend some kindness to the kid. He’s a little boy trying to make friends which is difficult when your mother has some issues. He’s probably a little neglected and looking for attention. Maybe try to get cps involved if it’s that bad. The poor boy might need help.

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You never said what’s the boy doing wrong???

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Why not play in the back yard then instead of the front? Easy answer to me

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You keep your children close at all times.
Try calling CPS for the other family

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You sound nosey and judgemental. Nothing wrong is being done… but a lot.of judgments coming from you…
Honestly… sounds like the boy needs a friend. Not saying you or your family needs to be his friend… but your selfishly displaying the scenario…

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Poor boy probably has endured more in life than you, and he at only 10yo. Who know what goes on inside his home. Maybe he’s sexually abused, now has a neighbor who thinks he is possibly sexually attracted to her 2yo girl and makes moaning noises at the sight of her. I would try to talk to him if he is on his own like you described and get to know him as a person but never leave your two year old child unsupervised outside in any situation. That quick trip inside to make a bottle can be when someone kidnaps her

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Stop leaving your kids outside and you won’t have to worry about it. There is no way I would leave my 2 and 3 year old outside even with my nine year old. :flushed::exploding_head:

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Disgusting protect your kids. Smh . They probably have sex in front of him or idk but that sounds like that kid is disturbed…

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Post like this piss me off. The poor kid obviously has home issues and you are bitching that he is making noises when your kids are outside. Girl you have some issues yourself. His mom has some mental issues and you call her psycho! Girl grow up. There are more things to worry about then a kid making noises. Smdh!

Try to be a guardian angel in his life. Someone he will always remember. Show him what love and family is at a time where his mom is probably too sick to care for him. Teach him not to moan if he can help it and just be extra nice to him.

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If he’s making those noises (I assume you don’t mean mocking sexual noises) perhaps he’s autistic or something? Making random, unusual noises when you get excited (about a show, a friend, a toy) is totally normal for an autistic kid. My son is what most consider “high functioning”, he runs and plays and talks and can carry on a full conversation with a big vocabulary but still flaps his arms and makes random noises and says odd words when he gets excited about anything, including seeing his sister or brother

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Mind your business and keep your 2 year old close to you💁 you dont know what that little boy is going through.

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I’d be calling child protective services

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Your job is to
Proctect your kids ppl can say you judgement or whatever but at the end of the day that kids is not your you can’t save anyone kids befkre your own . I would def keep him out my yard and away from my kids . Even if he won’t do anything to them I don’t want to find out IF

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You need to make a call to either DHS or CYS whichever is in your area you need to let them know if your fears then you need to make an official Complaint with the police I would get a lawyer and do this because they’re going to take it more serious explain the whole situation about Mom and them

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Poor kid, he obviously is neglected and just wants to play with other kids, stop judging!!!

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Um my son likes to play with younger kids because hes an only child and wants to be a big brother (endometriosis causing issues). So I wouldn’t judge the kid

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Your children are too young to “play with” a 10 yr. Old. Keep them with you and don’t leave them alone, even if you’re watching on the phone.

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If your worried about the boy, an anonymous call to children services could help.

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The kids moms behavior is irrelevant.
The kid makes you uncomfortable so keep them away. I don’t know what you mean by over reacting? Its your job to create boundaries for your children and it doesnt matter the reason, if he plays too rough, or makes noises or whatever, it’s your call.

I would. Add though. Is it possible the kid has special needs?

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He may find peace at your house…let him but watch him. JMO

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Hum :thinking: dot let your children around that kid, and ignore all signs of his behavior…

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he needs help. poor kid. i’d try to keep him

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Why are you leaving a 4 yr old and a 2yr old outside by themselves for any length of time?

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No you are not overreacting, if anything your under reacting. I would be threatening the parent that if that if their predator boy made a noise like that toward my daughter again their pathetic lives would be turned even more upside down. Boys acted like that towards my sister and I on the bus in elementary school and they knew what they were doing and it escalated. He has no business trying to play with a 4 & 2 year old.

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If you don’t feel comfortable with someone around your children do not have them around your children. Regardless of if the year old needs help, I would not let it be at the possible expense of my babies.

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This poor boy clearly sees you’re a loving mom and is gravitating towards your stability. I would tell him making those noises aren’t appropriate and set some ground rules, but id never turn him away. Hes seeking a calm in the storm 🤷
However, if saying something doesn’t work that’s when I would be alarmed. Also sounds like a call to child services might be helpful.

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I wouldn’t let my two year old around a moaning ten year old. And these moms can call you paranoid or a mean mom or whatever but you know what’s best for your kids.

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Um … keep your kids in the house at all times unless you are directly supervising them

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I’m sorry, but i disagree about trying to be the one to SAVE this poor boy. I watch Forencis files way too much, maybe, but no. Crazy runs in families. Have your children play in your fenced back yard to keep them out of your neighbors site, and be with them when they are outside playing. Not in the house watching on your phone to make sure they are safe. These days you can never be sure even about SAFE seeming neighbors; let alone a strange neiborhood boy with a troubled and somewhat mental family! You’re not a social worker and you aren’t a child physicologist. Just keep your kids in the backyard and in your immediate reach and pray for this strange boy and his family FROM AFAR! Good luck. :grinning:

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Maybe he has special needs and is being neglected. Is he non verbal?

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I wish they had a button for eye rolling :roll_eyes:

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Why would you continue to allow this “10 year old” play with a 2&4 year old? That’s a HUGE age gap. Also, sounds like this kid maybe be witnessing or suffering sexual abuse. No 10 year old should be moaning it’s definitely not normal. If you feel worried call CPS anonymously and have them investigated maybe this time the cops won’t let him return :woman_shrugging:t3:

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For one I would never leave a 4 yo and 2 yo outside by them selfs regardless if you can see them on a camera. By the time you get out to them one of them could be hurt or snatched. As for the boy it does make you wonder what the hell is going on at his home for him to be making moaning noises to your child🤔 pretty worrying also I would contact social services this mother clearly needs help and the boy will copy what his mother is doing. Also I would get the hell out of there screw living around that. Your children are the most important thing . I agree that you shouldn’t be made to move because of someone else’s doing but sometimes in order to protect our children we have to!

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That mom & kid both need help that’s disgusting for him to make moaning noises every time he sees your daughter she is only two. Keep all your kids away from him. You are not overreacting I would be very uncomfortable in that situation and not very happy. If I were you I would call CPS and express your concerns this does not sound like a good environment for that boy.

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God only knows what he’s seeing at home. That alone would make me want to keep that kid as far as possible. But, it takes a village right? The first time he made moaning noises I would have snapped. Embarrass him, let him know that kind of behavior is wrong and inappropriate. But, as far as bringing him under your wing, or whatever… trust your gut. Your kids are not in his age group, so not allowing him to play with them wouldn’t be that strange

Don’t turn him away. Explain to him that is inappropriate!!! And if he wants to plays with your kids he has to stop it or he’s not allowed over!

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Can’t believe how quick everyone is to judge my son’s has severe autism and he’s none verbal he mones as well so you never know he could have it and he’s got a shit mum mabe he’s trying to reach out to someone that makes him feel safe

Talk to the child. Talk to his crazy ass mother. Speak the the cops the next time they show up there and ask them if the boy is ok and if there’s anything you should or shouldn’t do when he’s near. How hard is it to investigate? You might feel real stupid for judging him after you do… or you’ll learn that he needs help and no one is helping him and you can advocate for him. There was a time when we stepped up and intervened when we saw troubled neighbors. Now we just bitch about it online. Is that who we are now? Are we ok with that? Are you ok with that?

With 3 little ones you have your hands full. When he acts up send him home politely

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For all we know… this poster is the crazy one…
It sickens me how ppl are so judgmental…
Call the cops… and see how they roll their eyes at your complaint…
Maybe he is autistic/ non verbal…
What is the matter with some of you!

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The boy is probably being exposed to way to many things a boy his age shouldn’t. The neighbor mom is obviously incompetent. I would definitely keep you children separate.

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Makes me wonder if he even knows what those sounds are. I make random noises all the time that I have to rethink after cuz they sound like a moan :rofl: idk what to tell ya. If the kid was in need of help, I’m sure something would’ve happened with all the police activity going on. Then again maybe not. Gosh knows dcfs fails kids all the time

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Moaning isn’t always a sexual sound.
Anyone can make a random moaning sound.

How do you know it isn’t how he communicates?
If you know his family life isn’t great, rather than bitch about it and make judgement on it without knowing their whole entire lifeline, make a call to help them.

If it is a “sexual” moan as some people want to twist it, it’s probably copying what he hears which is horrible.

Whether it’s him copying or his way of communicating, how you described seeing the smallest part of his home life, why not call help?
No one is just a “psycho”. Mental illness/disability is a fucking horrible thing to suffer from.

2&4 keep your kids with you at all times they could get seriously hurt are kidnapped are make sure dad is by there side always please never leave them alone

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If he’s not doing them any harm, allow it and support the boy, sounds like he likely doesn’t have a playmate or support at home

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Maybe call for a well child check for the boy? The 10 year old is too old and disturbed tk be playing with your children imho. They can’t report who called. Your young children should never be outside by themselves, so if you don’t want to be out side lock up the house so they can’t go out. The 10 year old isn’t your concern in my opinion. You have your own to take care of and you don’t know the boys situation and like I said before, i think the boy is just too old to be hanging around your young children. I feel that cps should step in, but I don’t know the full situation.

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Nothing in your post says how you reacted. So how the hell are we supposed to know if you’re overreacting?

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I suggest a privacy fence, don’t leave your kids unattended outside, and possibly call to have a well child check if you’re seriously concerned about his home life.

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I wonder why the boy is “troubled”

Sigh.

You’re what’s wrong with the world today.

That is all.

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2 and 4 is too young to be playing outside while you sit and “supervise” from inside… bundle up your infant and get the heck outside.

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Police are mandated reporters, & the kid making noises…?? Don’t call CPS, that’s silly & clearly a knee-jerk reaction. If the kid’s mom is really having such issues, it’s all documented…& if police felt it necessary they would report it, bc again they’re mandated reporters. Clearly, you should attempt to (calmly) have a discussion w the parents, tell them the noises make you uncomfortable. Also don’t leave the kiddos outside alone. Calm, clear, concise communication would likely resolve some of these issues. You’re a mother & this kid is just a kid, you may also be unfairly judging him.

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How about trying to be kind to child and help him in a small way

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It sounds like the boy has it rough. Personally, Id be there for him, talk to him…be a listening ear for him. If you think hes in serious danger then call CPS. I would never leave a 2 and 4 yr old outside alone though, even if its for a min…to me, thats a bigger issue than the 10 yr old making noises at this point. He could also be autistic…its hard to say. Maybe talk to him , get to know him and see whats going on.

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Instead of judging,why not try and help the boy out or the mom? Sounds like the mom has some mental issues and maybe the child is unstable from trauma he’s enduring. Why not try and help your neighbor out and that child?

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So, the kid had a shit home life and wants to sneak over to play at your place with your kids? And that’s unusual in some way? Lol
The moaning…is he possibly AS or could he have hearing problems?
If he doesn’t inappropriately touch your child or act in a frightening way, maybe you should see this as your chance to do good.
Invite the kid over, monitor the play closely and feed the poor kid a healthy snack.

Mind your own business keep your children away from all of it the boy included.

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Tell him to fuck off

He sounds like a weirdo

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If you feel uncomfortable about this neighbors child, then the good Lord is trying to tell you something. Dont ignore these feelings. Protect your children.

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Build a fence around your property to keep him away and problem solved

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I wouldn’t jump straight to thinking he has ill intentions. Sounds like he is autistic. Yes, some children with autism will make those noises.
Also, calling the mother a psycho for having mental health issues is quite disgusting as well. My gosh, go to the mother and ask her if she needs help or a friend.
Quit being judgmental!!

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Good for you for recognizing red flags. Never leave them unattended. Your gut is telling you there is something really wrong with the neighbors.

If moaning is his biggest crime, I would either ignore him, or LOVE HIM! His life sounds terrible. It sounds like he is in need of an adult he can trust, who is non-judge mental and who can allow him time with others-to socialize and learn. Never leave him or anyone alone with your kids, but give him a chance to socialize and be accepted and loved by you and your kids. YOU will learn more than he will. You can make a difference in his life. Do it! Stop judging!!!

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I seriously dont understand some of yalls logic on here. You dont just call CPS on people if you dont know the situation. You have to make sure 100 percent that something is going on. Everyone thinks calling child services is the right thing to do. Wrong. They get put in even worse situations than they were in before a lot of times. This world has gotten so bad that all it takes is for someone to just say something to ruin peoples lifes. Never ever report to CPS unless you have proof and know for sure something is going on!

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Why the hell does he moan at your child?

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Most troubling thing about this has nothing to do with the boy being a weird ass child and more with you leaving your 2 & 4 year old unattended outside while you’re inside…

To start, I’ve read a lot of comments bringing up that the boy may be autistic. If that was the case the police would turn the mother in to CPS, because he would be mentally equivalent to the 2 or 4 year old. Especially if the mother is threating to kill herself. I definitely don’t think the child is autistic in anyway. There is a great chance that there is some kind of abuse going on or because he does whatever he wants, he has been seeing things he shouldn’t have from a young age. Is there a man in the house with them? Or is it just the boy and his mother? Also is it just your daughter he makes the moaning noises to or does he make them to everyone he sees? If it is just your daughter, that is a good indicator of what is going on. Honestly, it’s best to just to keep your children away from him. You may want to help him but if he is still living in the same conditions all the help you offer will be for nothing.

  1. please don’t leave a 2 and a 4 year old in your front yard alone, even if you have a camera to see them there are so many things that could happen.

  2. If it makes you uncomfortable then take the kids out of the situation. Sit out with them, or walk to a park for outside time. It would creep me out having a older boy making sounds like that at my 2 year old.

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How about having the kids play in the backyard then. And unless you think the child across the street is being harmed, stay out of it. If he comes over, tell him to go home or let him play :woman_shrugging: but at the end of the day the general rule of ‘good fences make good neighbors’ always applies. I don’t think you’re overreacting necessarily (because I dont know how in any way you reacted) but I think you are judging the boy based on his mother’s behavior. Jmo

Is he autistic ? Is he non verbal or self stimulating . My son makes moaning noises is self stimulating . He has autism . He can’t control them .
Maybe the sight of children make him happy if asd or if he is impaired .

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Ok that kid and his mom r mental maybe his mom is doing something bad in front of him. Best to keep your kids away from them.

Questions :raising_hand_woman::raising_hand_woman::raising_hand_woman:

I’m not trying to be mean but I do have some questions. So, you say the boy is “like 10” soooo, is he 10 or does he look 10? My daughter has always looked older than her age and most people think she’s 16 and 17 because of her height and looks. She’s 13. My son is 6’7 and looks grown but just turned 16. What I’m saying is, he could be big for his age and could possibly be around 6 or 7 years of age and if his mother is mentally unstable, she could have been on something when she was pregnant to cause possibly a disability in which the child’s mind could be that of a 3 or 4 year old. If you don’t know him on a personal level, you can’t really make that judgment call. Some kids moan a lot. Have you ever visited a special education classroom? Have you volunteered at your local children’s hospital? Oh, the noises you hear that you would think were just not “Normal”. Maybe he doesn’t have toys or is lonely considering his mother has some issues. Maybe his mother is overwhelmed due to him having a disability? I’m that type of mother who gets to know her neighbors. You never know what a smile or a simple hi can do to brighten someone’s day. You have practically labeled this kid as a predator which, in honesty is not fair considering it’s a child that you seem to know nothing about. You see a kid who is alone, most of the time we want to help them but because he makes groaning noises and looking at your kids, he must be a perv? Something is wrong with that thinking!!!

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Although I agree the age difference is too much for them to play together, you don’t know enough about this child to jump to conclusions. It’s not disgusting for a child to moan, you don’t know what issues he has. It’s disgusting to jump the gun a sexualize a 10 year olds behavior not knowing him.

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Like many others have said, maybe this boy is autistic and the moans are not sexual. Maybe this child is being abused in his home if the mother has issues. Maybe this child is just trying to find some calm in the middle of a terrible storm at home. Unless you know the entire story about what’s going on inside his house you can’t judge.
If you’re really that concerned then why don’t you talk with one of the many police officers that come to his home as you said. I refuse to judge someone without knowing the entire story because his story could be because of something he has no control over.
People who live in glass houses.

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Do your job as a mother, keep an eye on YOUR kids !

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I think he wants attention poor kid😥. But dont leave your children alone please.

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