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He will never change its an addiction. I’ve been with someone for 10 years and I’m still dealing with it. Don’t be stupid like me.
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My husband read and said he obviously is not in tune with you and that most of the time men feel a deeper attraction for their wife after she has his baby, my husband said he must be shallow and is maybe trying to hide his lustful side of his personality.
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If hes lookin up shit…thats on him…mistake by him…do not hold urself responsible for his fck up. Spin the shit around on him. Ask him how hed feel if the tides were reversed.
I would be pissed tf off!!
I would be upset that he lied but it’s just porn. Shit my man and I have a great sex life and I still watch porn. Now if he’s looking at nudes of girls he knows personally or talking to girls then that’s a different story. But porn cmon who cares
Only because he lied about it I don’t have an issue as long as they are honest if they lie about one thing they are lying about other things 
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Tell him how you feel. Nothing can change unless you do that. If he loves you he will at least try to ensure you feel loved and desired by him.
Keep in mind. He knows your body. He realizes you have carried two babies for him. Men don’t look at stretch marks and sags like we do. If he loves you he just doesn’t care about that stuff.
Try, try not to let it get to you too much.
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Not overreacting, this completely kills your self esteem 
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Ron Cooper I just want you to know I understand where you’re coming from
A lot of people are self projecting as a reply. The issue is her own self image and the fact she can’t communicate with her partner. We all look at porn. I totally get it. It’s a conversation she needs to have with her partner to see how he can help her feel more worthy.
I’m picking up what you’re putting down.
The people saying looking at porn is planning to cheat are… well. Not going to make assumptions but it’s dense imo to say the least.
Your self esteem can only be repaired by how YOU see and value yourself. It has nothing to do with him doing what hes doing that is his own seperate issue. You need to untangle the two.
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half this shit people commenting makes no sense. you are NOT at fault.
it’s the LIES for me. you did nothing wrong. you gave life to the seeds he’s planted & he’s doing you dirty. plain & simple.
Porn is an addiction. Find self help group SA anon
Why is it men just cant be happy with what they have?
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I’ve been with men like that, and my current spouse views porn as cheating. Having intentions or arousal from others isn’t healthy for a relationship in his eyes and after being on both sides I’ve never been more confident, even though I have never looked worse.
If YOU are uncomfortable dont let anyone tell you you shouldn’t be. Just because he’s a man, doesn’t mean he is allowed to cross a boundary with you.
Some people are okay with it, and others aren’t. If you aren’t, and he keeps doing it- its wrong. Period.
Everyone is different, but in our house we are very open. I don’t mind him watching porn, saving videos, pictures… etc. i also buy him sex toys to enjoy his alone time. We’re very open and most of this is because if he comes to me constantly for it I get bent out of shape lol 
I have a lot going on… and I only have interest in keeping up with half the demand lol. Anyways… for the first few years I was very insecure and that was an issue for me as well. However I’m far past that now. And I enjoy the break. It’s not cheating. I’ve tried being understanding. Also I am bisexual and I too enjoy looking at women lol 
he is also aware of this. But to each their own! If you are uncomfortable maybe try talking to him about it? Be open and communicate how you’re feeling.
You need to talk to him and tell him how it makes you feel. Unfortunately he probably won’t stop, he will just get better at hiding it 
. Unfortunately I know this from experience. I would give him an ultimatum, he has to be completely transparent and give you all his passwords. If he doesn’t agree then he probably has no intentions on stopping. I know most people would say that technically this isn’t cheating, but he is lusting and fantasizing about these other women. One day he may actually make the move and cheat
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Dealing with the EXACT same thing:pensive: but add dating apps, just had our second baby 4 months ago as well and found out 2 weeks ago he was doing this since not too long after we found out I was pregnant with our second child and through out my whole pregnancy he did that and even dating apps a week an half before our daughter was born and still continue until I caught him 2 weeks ago. Now his sorry ass is begging for a second chance:expressionless: but this was the second time I caught him. And he still continue during my pregnancy and even after birth when I had a second emergency c section and a rough recovery and still didn’t care until he got caught and got booted out 
No you’re not wrong for feeling hurt about it, those are your feelings, and they are legitimate that is what you feel, but will talking about it to him change it, probably not, he enjoys what he is doing, he says he loves you regardless but chances are he would continue on doing that either way whether you told him your feelings about it or not, but he is there with you, and he loves you
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Drive your truck over his phone
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Really it depends on u. But to me porn is fine but if u messages girls or getting pics then I would worry. Just because a guy watches porn dont mean they dont love us. But i draw a line of sexting, pics and or talking in a cheating manor.
Being a mum myself, I can tell u to build yourself confidence,start to work out.and bounce back. Don’t wait for others to validate you. Secondly if that’s a no for u state it. If he won’t change time to change your man
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When you snoop through your partners personal things, you’re only going to hurt yourself. Most men look at porn and it has nothing at all to do with you. It doesn’t mean you’re lacking in any way what so ever. It’s literally just the way they are wired.
Men don’t realize how much that can kill a women’s self esteem especially after having kids. To me that’s a form of cheating that’s single people shit and would piss me off
I guess I’m in the minority here. First, how do u know he’s been looking? Have u been checking his phone? I barely touch my man’s phone let alone snoop in it. If he is and I don’t know, I don’t care. Of course he’s gonna say he doesn’t need that to u. That’s what many people do because they don’t want an argument. If it’s a problem, like he has to be viewing it while getting it on with u or missing work or using it instead of u, then dump him, it won’t change.
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I would only be upset because he lied. Prn is honestly something I just ignore. I don’t look at my husbands history because I know there’s a good chance it’ll be there. I know he loves me. I know he’s attracted to me. I know he’d rather have sx with me than please himself. But I also know that we have 2 kids. And that I am not available to him 24/7. I’m just not able to take care of his needs every time he wants me to. And he knows that, and doesn’t even ask when he knows I don’t have time or I’m tired. He just takes care of it himself. If I think about what he’s looking at, it hurts me. If I ignore that he looks at something, and just think of it as “he’s just taking care of what I can’t in the moment” then it doesn’t.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I overreacting? How do I speak to him about this? - Mamas Uncut
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Lose him and move on! He’s never going to change, but you can by getting away from that crap!
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Ask him if he thinks he has a problem? Talk about one thing at a time. Not your problem but his problem first. Yours will probably disappear if you feel more loved. Does he need his phone or computer all the time?
I would be nosey! Tell him to hand it to me periodically or just pick it up and screen shot it and semd it to him in a message. Listen, tackle this problem head on! Tell him this is effecting your wellbeing and you’re not putting up with it. Its his problem not yours that is sloughing off on you. Tell him to get a grip and if he cant do it then you will help him. Then delete data from his phone and take his computer out of the house. (Last resort but effective until he either gets help or tries to be a better spouse)!
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Have you tried to fulfill the fantasy he is looking at? Watch the porn with him and if he objects… leave
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Give him an ultimatum. I am sure you love him still and he probably loves you but ……tell him either quit the porn sights or he will end up paying child support for two babies and spousal support. He’ll quit.
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Realistically a lot of people watch porn and masturbation is healthy for you. It’s not cheating and it doesn’t mean he wants those women or anything like that. It’s a primal response. It’s probably upsetting you because you feel down about your own self image. Talk to him about it and tell him that it makes you feel insecure and figure out ways to make yourself feel more confident. The people saying to leave him just over watching porn are frankly being ridiculous and I promise 90% of they probably consume some kind of porn be it erotic novels or stories or just plain videos. Speak to him about the insecurities It’s triggering in you and why you don’t like him doing it
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You need to tell him to sit down and talk to you when the kids are both sleeping. Tell him right out that your feeling down about yourself after the two babies and its been hard on you physically and mentally. Then tell him you’ve discovered about his lies and his porn and your super hurt by both his lieing and his use of these sites. Ask him to stop useing these sites and give you a chance to regain some of your former self (body , mind, and confidence) and let him know you’ll need his support for this, not his degradation orhis control. And it may take more time than he may like but if he’ll take over a little each day with the kids you can have time to work on yourself.
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Put you kids in daycare a couple days a week and start going to the gym or a spin class or put them in a stroller and go jogging. You’ll start to shed the extra weight and start feeling better about yourself.
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It’s one thing for a guy to watch porn. It’s another for him to say he doesn’t use it and then go and use it. That’s a lie and a breech of trust. Personally I don’t care if a guy I’m with watches porn. I don’t take it personally. But, if he lies about it then I find I have trouble trusting him.
I suggest to try talking to him and telling him how you feel. The trick here is to remain calm and non-judgmental. He probably still loves you and finds you attractive, but enjoys watching porn as well. Ask him what it is about porn that he is into, because his answer might surprise you. But, whatever he says keep and open mind and ask him to do the same. If it bothers you too much, let him know why. Let him know that it’s about respect more than pleasure.
I hope things work out for you guys!
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You have to speak your mind or it will bother you and hurt your relationship. Also as hard as it is get a doubleseat stroller and go for walks. I had 3 all under the age of 3. It was a crazy time but I wouldn’t change anything. Now they are teenagers and I have a 3 year old. But we like to go for walks in the morning.
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There are counseling services to help with this addiction. It really decimates trust. It’s like having a 3ed party in the marriage
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You are not overreacting you have every right to feel the way you do. He is not worthy of you Seriously.
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When he leaves the house have the locks changed
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Whatever happened to just sit down and talk with each other? If you can’t do that then it’s time to move on.
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I always say if a man has to pick between two women don’t pick me . Time for a serious talk with him
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Focus on the Family has a program to help a porn addict get free of his addiction
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He has betrayed you. Period. I’m not so sure watching porn is the issue as much as lying about it is. You have every right to feel hurt. The curb might be where he should be moving to.
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I’m afraid you have a problem. You both should see a marriage counselor immediately. Watching porn is not as much of a problem as lying to you about it. There is such a thing as porn addiction. Just like any other addiction, once you’ve got it, it’s got you. Please see a counselor ASAP.
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Porn is an addiction. He needs counselling. He is not single, he has a partner and should focus on her not some fantasy out of reach women or he will be alone. No self respecting woman will tolerate him emotionally cheating on her.
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I’m sure I’ll get blasted and ridiculed for this but…
It’s two way street I’ve been with my wife for 15 years (married 5, together 15) to a point shame on him, a woman having a child is one of the most selfless acts in the world. The pain, the change in body, mental changes, possible complications ect. My wife is more beautiful and sexy now than she was when we got together when she was 18. She was plagued with body image concerns, depression ect. But you know what she did about it? She took steps and did everything she could, everything that she wanted to do to change her image and opinion of her self. She still had days where she gets in a rutt. But we work through it together as there is no woman that could come close to her.
Here comes the part that will probably open up the attacks…
If he’s looking up nudes, or porn or whatever maybe something is lacking or whatnot (not making excuses or justifying it) be the nudes he’s looking at, be the porn star he is looking at. It’s not 50%/50% it’s 100%/100%. We live by four rules in our relationship
Sex
Trust
Money
Communication
After 15 amazing years so far it works for us. Just offering a different angle to think on is all… if the grass is greener on your side of the fence there is no reason to want out of your yard…
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Nope. Go buy a playgirl then read the articles in front of him. My husband was ticked and tore it to tnreads. Seen none till about 20 years later under sear cushions in his he man cave, I opened to centerfold took black marker and wrote in big letters F**k You then put it back. He was ticked but he got message. Bull on that crap that men will be men. It’s smut and has no place in a marriage.
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I never liked porn and thought little of men that watched it. BUT from having a lot of friends that are men I have learned some obviously like to watch it but it doesn’t mean they don’t want their wives/girlfriends. They could be with a super model and still watch…
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Don’t make this about you. More importantly you need to examine his moral character. If this is something he enjoys you cannot stop him. You are insecure for sure and need to work on yourself. Doing things out of order like having kids first, living together outside of marriage play a major role in all of this. Best wishes to you 
Self image is just that… SELF image, it’s the way you see yourself. As hard as it is, YOU are the only one that can change it.
As for hubby, before you jump to conclusions, try monitoring your own behavior… not meaning your behavior is bad but seriously monitor your thoughts in a day. There are times we encounter someone in public and think to ourselves ‘that’s an attractive person’. However it doesn’t mean we would engage in sexual activities with this person. Men too find others attractive. And porn isn’t always bad.
Maybe hubby was dishonest bc he knows your self esteem isn’t great at this time, he didn’t want to hurt you. Maybe he is embarrassed or doesn’t know how to tell you what he wants in the bedroom.
COMMUNICATION is always best.
If you talk to him in person his body language and reactions will probably speak volumes.
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How you feel is how you feel. It’s not right or wrong, it just is.
If you are uncomfortable with his behavior, you have the right to tell him about it, without him putting you down for bringing it up.
Don’t let him guilt you into accepting things you are uncomfortable with, period.
If he won’t listen and respect your opinions, kick him to the curb.
You are showing your kids how things will be when they grow up, and accepting disrespect from people in your life, will teach them that it’s okay to mistreat you, and by extension them.
Nobody deserves to live like that.
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The issue here is perhaps not the porn, but the deceit…I would have a problem more with the deceit than it being porn
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Well, if you don’t mind dishonesty, soak it up. Otherwise, move on because it’s not going to do anything but progress. Your move
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You’re overreacting. He isn’t dead nor should he be punished because of you having low self esteem. Instead do something to bring your esteem up if you’re not happy with it. As long as he is coming home to you and keeping his junk in his trunk he isn’t the issue. You’re the issue.
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He is out of line to do that you do t have much choice it’s no a partnership is it so I’d be considering a councellour
But talk to him you must. It’s the only way you can both speak openly and honestly.
Only a matter of time till it does, probably already has
These things lead to addictions and unreality.
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It’s not always easy to just up and leave a relationship.You need to talk it out.Put on your big girl panties and tell him how you feel. You have to address the issue.
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LeAve. That, porn, brothels. You don’t want to deal with it, trust me.
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Do the same and see how he feels
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Do the same, go get some huge posters of hot guys and put them in your closet your side of the garage or yoga room she shed…I wouldn’t say a damn thing. I would start banking money away…go get your hair and nails done just for you…hell go to yoga or the gym you earned it after making 2 babies. Focus on you. 
Walk babe just walk. Bin married 3 times I know.
All men look at porn… don’t think twice about it.
Tell him to piss off and find someone who does actually appreciate you for you and doesn’t betray you in this way. Disgusting little man he is treating you like that
Don’t leave, that’s the easy way. Talk to him. Ask him what about porn does he like? Ask him to exercise with you. Communication is key. Then address the fact he lied. It could be one of many things.
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Show him this. They are your real feelings it should be enough to make a difference.
What an absolute jerk. Leave him. I do not think it will get better. You matter much more.
Why do you all say he is cheating. I mean you are all ugly as fuck. Not the one posting just the ones commenting on here. Yiu dont k ow what is going on
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Dump him, he is a liar and a porn guy. Yea I would feel down too, you will feel better when you lose the 180 pound guy.
Be honest with him about how you feel and why. Ask him to let you get it out without interruption. AND, DO IT from your heart. And, for you, take change of you and your life. You are worth it. Work in getting yourself back. You’re self respect and your ego. Get someone to watch the kids for a few hours. Go to a gym, take a vigorous walk. Pretend your in the dating mode. Start liking you again. Your man is weak…And, It’s apparently all about him. Don’t take it personally. He lived who he married presumably, so make you love you again. He’s the jack ass, not to mention a liar.
nope
He is being an ass and he dont love you.Move on.
Leave and do not look back
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Men can be pigs- just know most men can’t get these women who also have low self-esteem. If you aren’t married- it’s kinda your fate. Go for walks enjoy your children and don’t look over his shoulders.
I would be very hurt he’s a pig
You need to nip his ass in the butt now
So we have all been there as moms. Feeling unattractive and tired. But even later maybe some is needed to spice it up.
Unless you are against porn completely… offer to watch it together now and again to spice things up.
I agree it can be an issue if he is just obsessed.
But personally I find it comical we laugh at it but it does add a degree of spice to get us going.
But to each his own.
Also I believe you need to get out and workout… get nails a new haircut whatever makes you feel good!
Good luck
First, I want you to know it has NOTHING to do with how you look! I can guarantee he’s had this problem for longer than you’ve known him! The fact that he feels the need to lie about it tells me he has a problem. A lot of men do, especially this day and age! They have a warped idea of the woman body and sex, thanks to unrealistic ass porn! News flash, porn is FAKE! Real life is not all bleached a&&holes and fake breasts. Unfortunately we are not teaching young men OR women this and so much more! A lot of men have a jacked up porn addiction. He probably needs help if he can’t control himself. Especially since he feels the need to lie about it. And do NOT let him make you feel like it has anything to do with your beautiful mom body! We all come in different shapes, sizes and we are all beautiful.
The fact that he lied about it is the biggest problem here. If he agreed to not do it, and now is doing it behind her back then yes he’s wrong. He should have been honest with her about it. Some ppl don’t care and some do. He knows this isn’t a thing she’s okay with so he shouldn’t be doing it.
Personally idc I know my man watches porn and he knows that I do. As long as he isn’t looking at local girls or ppl that we know idc 
but that’s an agreement between us
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Men will ALWAYS look at other women…ALWAYS! Stop expecting them to go against their nature so you stop getting hurt and disappointed. Focus on your own insecurities and learn to love yourself
Unless he’s looking for a girl to cheat with then he isn’t cheating by helping himself get off. Stop being self conscious and have some fun.
It’s him lying about it
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It’s one thing to do it and you know, it’s another to do it and lie about it! Lying in my opinion is never okay, it breaks trust, which is one of the biggest building blocks in a HEALTHY relationship! I think it’s understandable for you to feel hurt/betrayed.
The only way to figure out why he lied is to flat out ask, you’re going to constantly question everything until you get answers.
Take this from experience, don’t allow anyone to disrespect you because the disrespect will only get worse
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So to me the lying is the problem. Him saying he would do something n not follow through makes you lose trust in him. No matter how minor a lie is a lie is a lie…and it will make one question you. So I get that you’re mad about him lying about watching porn. Note my question to you is… is the problem him watching porn, or him watching it at a time you aren’t feeling your best self? Are you wanting to restrict him from watching it cuz of your insecurities or you just don’t like porn? It a combination of both? If your insecurities about your body have anything to do with how upset you are at him (cuz porn is not that deep not unless like someone said they are looking at ppl they or you actually know) then I say have a conversation explaining how you’re feeling about your body. Men need direction…they need to be told straight up no chaser what the problem is. You can’t assume he knows. And if porn really is a bug issue for you…sit him down again n let him know that you are really serious. It may be not that deep to some (me included ) but to you it is…make that be understood completely with no sugarcoating. This is jut imo
He’s being disrespectful to you
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The lie is 100% the problem.
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You’re feelings are valid 1000% because he should have been up front and honest with you about watching porn and looking at Google, Reddit, and OnlyFans… If him doing that was NOT talked about prior to this and you’re upset honestly I would consider this a form of Cheating as it’s something you’re NOT okay with. I would confront him about it and explain to him your feelings on the matter.
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Your feelings are absolutely valid and he should respect them… also he’s kind of a dick for getting onlyfans content and not paying for it
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I dont like porn. My ex was a sex and porn addict. Anytime I needed or wanted even the smallest thing I had to bribe him with some kind of sexual act until eventually I just stopped asking (and left). The problem was he’d watch porn so much he started thinking it was reality. He developed his own warped beauty standards and loved to use them against me when I didn’t give in. Either compare me to an adult star, or use other women he’d meet at work to try and make me jealous, thinking maybe I’d be desperate and f*ck him senseless to keep him around. He began having trouble getting and keeping erections, and could only come if I did certain things he saw and developed kinks too. He had unhealthy fetishes too, like, pregnancy fetish… As if I really wanted anymore kids. I couldn’t keep up, with any of it. I left. That was years ago, but I’m still affected, because I’ve caught my man now watching porn quite often, and it irritated me. Especially since what he preferred was nothing compared to how I even look. Seeing his search history automatically made me sick to my stomach thinking “why is he looking at this? Am I not enough? Is he not attracted to me? Does he think I’m too fat? Too ugly? Too old? If he was in the mood why could he just come to me? Why did he decide to watch porn instead”
I don’t know why men do it. All I know is how it makes a lot of women feel. I’ve told him many many times I don’t like it, and I lowkey consider it disrespectful, it almost feels like cheating to me. I don’t want him looking at naked women so often that when he sees me he feels nothing. Every time he sees me naked I want his 
to have a pulse, but instead he’s so desensitized to it because he’s seen probably a thousand women naked now, and of course, of all of them, I’m the only one who looks like a bag of mashed potatoes, so of course he’s looking at others 
for gratification.
So no. You’re not over reacting not at all. Tell him how you feel, tell him what you expect, set those boundaries, if he doesn’t respect them then he doesn’t respect you or how you feel and there’s your answer.
The internet is the worst thing that ever happened it has caused so many divorces and infidelity from social media to porn. Was married for 18 years and kept repeating myself about the porn thing till one day came home he was in shower and left phone on counter in kitchen with the video on. I was done it was over.
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All men do that. Y’all are going to stop letting men make you feel bad about yourself. Most men cheat and ALL of them look at other women.
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Men are visual. Men watching porn is no different than a woman reading steamy romance novels. Desire is processed differently.
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Porn is Satan seeking to destroy a marriage. Satan attacks the man, puts doubt into the marriage. It starts with magazines, then videos, then live chats.
When Satan gets a toe-hold he will destroy a marriage.
A woman feels betrayed, causes her to question herself (am I good enough) and will never Trust her spouse ever again.
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For those who say “no big deal”, put more worth into yourself. Real men don’t watch porn.
And look at all the sex trafficking we have in the world. It is sick.
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That’s just a typical man in my eyes I dont see an issue mainly because I look at porn aswell as my bf does too bt hey ho
Yes, men look at porn.
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I believe that partners that watch porn is a precursor to cheating, only a matter of time. Is usually worse than you think. If it were me, I would start thinking about and preparing to exit the relationship especially since you talked to him about it and has made no difference. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
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All men do this. Best you can do is make him feel comfortable enough to share with you what he’s interested in. The worst feeling in the world is feeling like someone is hiding something from you and lying. If you don’t freak out and accept it as what it is, he might feel comfortable enough to share it with you and come out of the shadows.
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Did you watch or read 50 shades of Grey? Same thing