Am I overreacting to my boyfriend wanting to play games a lot?

We’ve been together for almost 4 months and he’s been playing his video games a lot more often lately. I know I shouldn’t be upset or start a fight over it but it’s been really bothering me lately. He was nice enough to set up a schedule for his games but the schedule is one day i come over he pays attention to me and then the next day i come over, he plays his games. We don’t live together so i feel like he has a lot of time to play his games without me here. At the beginning of our relationship he hardly played, but as the relationship goes on, it’s like he’s playing more and more. He usually says “one more game“ when i ask for time with him, which i’m thankful for. But the other night he said he was gonna just spend time with me, and then an hour later he’s back on his ps4 again. I get let down every time i think i’m going to get time with him, but end up hardly getting time due to him playing games while i’m over. Is this an actual issue? I don’t want to seem like a controlling girlfriend so i’m trying to understand why guys do this.
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You’ve only been together 4 months. In my opinion it’s too soon to be spending a ton of time with him all the time. Have days where you come over and he plays no games.

This is your future, once a gamer, always a gamer. If you want to stay in the relationship I suggest you start gaming yourself, or find your thing to do, or only spend time together at places he can’t play. Hopefully, you’ll find that he is willing to schedule his gaming when you’re not around. Honestly, I think there are worst things he could be doing.

oh no, if in order to spend time together all you’re doing is going over to his house and not go out and have adventures that should be your first red flag. Second if he had to make a schedule to play video games and is squeezing you in, that should also tell you a lot of things. how about you try just giving him the cold shoulder. Don’t go over to visit, have him want to spend time with you. If he’s not making the effort cut your losses before you end up stuck in a situation you don’t want to be in.

Ok first if you have to beg/ask for time, it ain’t there, you shouldnt ask for time. if he is like that now that is just the beginning of the relationship it will only get worse. Good luck with that!

I don’t think you are overreacting at all. It is ok to ask for what you need in a relationship. Also this doesn’t seem to be about video games as much as it’s about the relational balance. It sounds like you are doing a lot of accommodating and don’t have as much influence. Dan Savage once spoke about this idea of the price of admission to the relationship. Every person has their flaws and you have to ask yourself is this cost worth paying to continue to be in this relationship. I’m also wondering if it’s possible to speak honestly and openly. When you… (Play video games while I’m over, for example) it makes me feel (ignored, like video games are more important to you than I am, or whatever it means or feels to you). Overall, trust your gut and talk about it. Resentment building up is never good for relationship growth.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I overreacting to my boyfriend wanting to play games a lot?

I say, the day he has “schedule for his game” don’t call him or go see him. Go have fun with friends and post all about it and let him see that you’re not gonna sit and wait on him. Go do you too boo.

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My husband was a gamer when we first started dating…so I became a gamer with him. He proposed shortly after and we’ve been happily married going on 13 years now.

It might help to try some of his interests, maybe you’ll like it. I did!! :woman_shrugging:t3: at least hes not out at a bar or something

Some females can handle this and others can’t. What kinda games does he play? Maybe something you could get into. If it’s already bothering you now it may only get worse. The video games are a way of escape from the real world. Talk to him about it and see if it gets better. It’s really up to you and if you want to deal with this or not. Like above some girls can handle it other can’t. I game myself but I get your point of view 100% you may just need to let him know how your feel with it.

Welcome to marriage :rofl: honestly tho… have you tried playing with him? (He will be impressed if you do) really it’s a guy thing and since Covid it’s become more frequent in my house too (hubby and our 2 boys) it’s literally all they do.

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You’re becoming a booty call.

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My advice buy said game, play until u get super good, then whoop his ass in said game= bye bye problem :joy::joy::joy:

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Well do y’all do anything else when you’re there?

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Yes it’s an issue in a lot of relationships. My friends husband drives her crazy, cause all he wants to do is play games when he’s not working. She’s works, plus has 2 little boys and a baby on the way. They’ve been together 6 yrs and he’s always played a lot, but she was thinking it would get better which it hasn’t. She loves him but gets so frustrated.

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Just be honest with him. Say you want more quality times. And when he does want to play his game lay in his lap and read a book or something

I dated a gamer and ended up leaving because I felt less important. Best decision I could’ve made. He is still playing games all alone working a dead end job.

He’s grown. If he would rather play games instead of spend time with you then let him have it! This is an actual issue and a red flag. Taking time for yourself is one thing, having to make time for a relationship because of your game habit? Big no. Get out.

ypu really must be joking over games at 4 months

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If you can’t handle it, get out now!! 27 years later & my husband plays almost every second he’s not at work.

Stip naked and bend over in front of the tv

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I don’t have to read your post to say no your not. Any man that plays video games can show themselves the door period.

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My ex husband was like this hes now my ex husband I couldn’t put up with it

Least his not cheating on you🤷‍♀️

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Actually if I’m home or coming over. He’s considerate not to play while I’m der. My time is limited. So he don’t play when I’m home

Umm 4 months and it doesn’t sound like your happy… leave him!! Your in the honeymoon phase of a relationship so if your not happy now chances are you won’t be in 2,3,4,10 years! :woman_shrugging:t3:

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Find a real man? My man doesn’t play games… not on a console or his phone. Who the fuck is going to compete with a game? Obviously he is going to do his own thing.

It’s a guy thing. If it bothers you that much then you shouldn’t be in a relationship. You shouldn’t also have a scheduled time to hang out and then him play his video games and reality just dating and you not living together he should be off the game and spending time with you my husband plays games all the time but if I ask him to spend time with me or ask him to do something he gets off the game and then after a few hours he’ll ask me may I get back on my game. He never complains or ignores me. But at the same time it has to come in with respect for you and respect for him. You need to respect him while he’s playing his video games but he needs to respect you and give you time with him off of his game it’s a balance that everybody has a hard time doing.

ABORT! No one should have to ask/beg for attention because of a video game. Run run run. It’ll only hurt your mental state. Talking from experience. They won’t change and will string you along. Don’t waste your time.

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You haven’t even been together 4 months yet and it’s already starting to be a problem, sorry to say, it’s only going to get worse. Talk to him, that might help but who knows, it might work for a little while and go back to how it is now (talking from experience), guys like that are usually stuck in their ways. Good luck

Oh man…pick your battles if you love him. My husband plays his game all the time. Does it drive me nut…sometimes yes but we still make time for each other. We also dated for 5 years before getting married and it wasn’t any different then. But we love each other so we made it work.

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Lmaooo 4 months and you’re upset over him playing his games in his own damn place. Either play with him or kick him to the curb and find who makes you happy boo

Sounds like you need to date a man and not a boy!!

Have you considered picking up another controller so you can play the game as a team?..

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Join him in playing his games. Since that’s something he likes to do get him to show you how to play. Learn the game well enough to beat him at it. Maybe he’ll be mad enough after losing then he’ll want to spend time with you and do what you want to do. Then if that doesn’t work just go find you a hobby or go hang with some friends and leave him with his video games.

You are still in the beginning of your relationship, but now he’s getting more relaxed in your relationship; does he work? Go out with his friends at all? How often are you going over there, because if you happen to be going over there more often recently, then you probably are kind of infringing on his gaming time that was probably already there. If nothing else truly has not changed and he is playing more often, it may be time to take a break, he’s taking you for granted to be there on his time.

Atleast he’s not out doing whatever. He’s at home with you.

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It’s only been 4 months I would end it

Dump him. Usually they wait til they think they’ve got a steady relationship to show their true colors. He’s showing you his now. Run.

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Would you rather he play the game or play you and a few other bishes??? Let him play the game! Play the game too! Ask for next… not saying you’re wrong but it could be worse baby!

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My ex was like that. Thats why hes my ex i wasnt gonna compete with his xbox one. Even when i was over at his house he was constantly on it and if he wasnt playing it he was still in a party talking to all of his friends on the headset. I never came first so i got tired of it and i left.

Are you just sitting around the house with him or actually planning stuff to go out and do? Try planning stuff get out of the house and do something. If you’re just sitting there doing dumb female shit that isn’t entertaining to him that would probably be why.

My husband is a gamer and honestly I don’t mind. He goes on these little binges. I sat down with him and said I know something is going on, can we talk. He uses the games to process, we are going thru a custody battle with his x and it’s getting to him. If I need his attention I will say so otherwise I’m fine with it. We all have our thing and this helps him

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Play the game with him :woozy_face:

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You shouldn’t have to change him. You knew he played when you started dating. If you keep doing this he will start to resent you everyone is allowed to like things just because you don’t like video games it doesn’t mean he has to stop. Compromise try playing with him or read a book while he’s playing that way you’re at least doing it together.

I used to be pissed about the same thing. But I been with my man for almost 7 years and he is a huge gamer. At first it pissed me off for the first like 2 years. But we talked about it and told him I wasn’t getting the attention I needed and I wasn’t gonna deal with it anymore then it slowed down. He still plays his game but no where near as much as he used to. He also explained to me that its a huge destressor for him and it calms him down so he’s not so irritated all the time.

If he doesn’t give you attention now , you won’t be getting it later either. He already has his priorities set.

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If it upsets you then yes it is an issue. So what if it could be “worse”, for you, it is upsetting. My husband is a gamer, it is always our biggest fight. His reasoning is he was a gamer when I met him. Difference is 23 years later we’ve had kids and I’ve had to change my habits to parent etc, while he has continued to game. We had to set boundaries and rules otherwise he wouldn’t help with anything. Honestly 4 months in and he’s not making you any kind of priority and if you’re not wanting to game with him, I’d end it

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Play with him!! Even if you’re not good. At least try… Or maybe try to start something with him while he’s playing the game. Get out of the apt more. Suggest playing cards or something else.

Is he asking you to come over? Stop going over there or say your going home if you get tired of it. Make him show he wants to spend time with you. Don’t force it. If he wants to see he’ll make it happen too.
You could play with him if that’s something your into, if not that’s fine too. My husband used to play some and he knew it wasn’t my thing and he knew that :woman_shrugging:t2:

You will just end up fighting, been seeing my husband playing for 15 years, so I gave up. It feels like intense and not comfortable whenever I ask him to stop playing. So what I did is to find my own leisure time while I’m with him as long as are legs crossed to each other☺️ I think that’s who they are and that’s whats make them happy after stress full day from work, for me that’s better compared hanging out with his friends most of the time☺️

I game myself so I need to have a mate who understands this otherwise it will not work.

Try asking him if you can join and play too. My fiance and I are both gamers and we have opposite schedules so we end up playing games while the other sleeps. And when we are off together, we play games together.

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Let that man play the game lol

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Leave honey. If a man prioritizes video games over you he ain’t worth it. Trust me

4 months only? Girl leaaavveeee those gamers will never stop and it will make you miserable. I wish you’d stop seeing him! Don’t make the mistake that soooooo many women make and ignore the red flags from the beginning!!! Run!!! Those gamers are the worst I swear!!

Give him time to do his own thing even when you go see him. Ask him to watch a movie or do something together afterwards.

It’s an addiction, seriously. Why do you even bother to go over to see him? How old is this guy, 12 :crazy_face:. You’re just setting yourself up for a " LET DOWN" . Let him have his games and move on with your life, he probably won’t even know You’re gone

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This is why I hate gamers.

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He won’t stop. Let him go. It’s an addiction and it ruined my marriage. Grown men shouldn’t be doing that shit. You deserve better

My man is a gamer, i knew that going into the relationship and at first it bothered me but now we live together and he involves me, we will play games together now but he also knows when to put it down and just come watch a movie with me or something. I say communicate and if he isn’t understanding or u can’t join him etc then break it off. I think u already know what to do.

What game is it? The reason I ask is if it a new game. Let him beat is and then compromise that no new games for a while. If you love him then realize he is a gamer and may never fully give up playing. I know this because I am a 49 year old women and I am a gamer when a new game comes out that is the type I like to play it does consume most of my free time till I beat it then I may not play another game for weeks .

He plays video games when he wants to get out of his head I really don’t see a problem with it unless he ignores you. Your a team just remember that

It’s a huge red flag… it’s only going to get worse…

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My husband plays games all the time when he’s not working he comes home and spends about an hour with the family then goes and plays video games some times it bothers me but shit there is so many worse things he could b out doing id rather him b home playing games for a billion hours then out hanging with the guys doing God knows what

Nope ur not overreacting, its hard and annoying seeing someone sit and play games all day long, if its like this now its gonna be like this forever and just going to get worse and cause problems, just leave him :woman_shrugging:t2:

Sorry but How do I send in an anonymous question?

it’s an addiction. can run your life and thoughts. can be used as a way to escape and cope. can also be a good way of connecting with other people / friends.
he would of been playing before he met you.
find hobbies and things for yourself. could you play with him? do something near him, while hes gaming? telling him he couldn’t play at all - wouldn’t work.
I’m the gamer in my relationship but I have boundaries in place. I know when I can play and when I shouldn’t.
he has to put boundaries in place as well but that’s something he has to WANT to do. no matter what you say or do, you cant force him - if he doesnt want too.
also, when gaming, there is no concept of time. could feel like 20 mins, when it’s actually been 3 or 4 hours.
good luck. :orange_heart:

My husband is a gamer always has been but even after 14 yrs married if I say come to me and love on me he will always put me first. I am not a gamer but I do love binge watching so he does his thing and I do mine from time to time. Also I like to spice it up and when he is all into his game (headset yelling at the tv) I like to get naked and wrap up in a towel and walk in front the screen and flash him. He instantly makes the right choice lol.

Don’t go over for a week or two, see if he notices your absence. If he doesn’t notice, then move on. That’s what l would do.

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All I see is either leave him or is he a child honestly I would talk to him about it if he continues doing what’s doing then move on you can’t expect someone to know you are upset if you do not tell them communication is key.

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LMAO YALL ARE RIDICULOUS. Would you rather him be out cheating? Let the man play his games or play with him instead of complaining. I play games with my man and we are both gamers. Even when we didn’t live together, it wasn’t a big deal.

Don’t make time for someone who doesn’t make time for you. If he’s like that already then he’d be a horrible husband

It’s a hobby, you can’t really tell him not to do something he enjoys. Do you have any interest in playing with him? I play video games with my husband. It’s something we can do together so the other person doesn’t feel left out. And it’s fun

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Fact of them matter…he’s telling you his priorities

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Either accept it or move on it will be the same or worse when or if u live together it’s Literally a addicting thing I know been doing it for 5 years it just gets worst

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I don’t do it and don’t understand a word you said.

He need games, not girl.
Find another boy for you.

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I met my baby daddy through gaming. Countries away lol. So we were BOTH gamers, but no that man doesn’t need to be playing games when you come over. Its adult time then. If you lived together that’s different but youre right, he has all the time to play when you’re not there.

Pick up a controller & see what he says :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Listen if u dont like the way some1 lives there life …leave …that simple …dont change something so1 wants …change u if u arent happy …

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I mean…he could be sitting on the couch playing video games…or he could be out cheating on you :woman_shrugging:t3:
Find a game you can play together

Let him play his games atleast hes not out cheating on you.

I wish this was my biggest problem

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I literally stopping reading this after the first sentence. You’ve been together FOUR MONTHS & already having issues? Over games? Looks like you need to move on & quit wasting your time.

Don’t offer to go over. Wait until he asks you… Don’t make any effort and see if he notices

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Would you rather him play video games or play games with you? That man in the house playing a game. I get wanting time so a conversation needs to happen. Date nights need to be planned. Stop spending all your time at his house…ask him over to yours cuz I’m pretty sure it’s no game over there to distract him. I’ve learned that I rather my man be in the house playing a game…than to be in the streets playing with other women. :woman_shrugging:t5:

Girl its only been 4 months imagine this for the rest of your life, seeking some attention. Let him go and find someone who appreciates the things you do. Regret is a bitter pill to swallow. It might hurt a little now but you will be thankful later.

My husband plays his game all the time and when we got this house he chooses to do dishes and take trash out but half dishes gets done then he forgets to take trash out so it’s up to me to do dishes and hire some one to take my trash out believe me it gets worse when they play games

My bf plays all the time but I’ve played since I was a child and still play. Just not always daily because I have other hobbies. We’ve been together over 2 years and we live together. If I want to do something else or make plans he’ll do whatever I want. But if we are home that’s just what he does 🤷 sometimes I get a bit irritated if I’m trying to talk to him and he can’t bc of the game. For the most part I just accept that’s what he enjoys doing. Some ppl watch tv, stay on their phones, have other hobbies… Even things like hunting and fishing… And some ppl game. My daughter in law hates when my son plays. She lets him play 2 days a week. I personally think there should be a little more compromise because she just sits and watches TV but I stay out of it because I don’t want to cause him drama or issues. If he’s ok with that then that’s his choice. If he’s not then he needs to tell her and they can work it out. So I guess my point is… If you are with a gamer they are probably going to want to play all the time. So if that bothers you then try to compromise but if he is playing all the time this early in the relationship then it might not be the right fit for you. 🤷

Lot’s of other issues could be worse, if he’s enjoying gaming tell him to call you when he desires time with you, then you can tell him you don’t have time because you picked up crafting, no, seriously. Give him time to play and if he wants you to come over give him the option play game or date night.He could be out playing around so at least you know where he is.

He’s not into you anymore get over it and move on.

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Why would you go over there knowing and it’s his day to play his game do your own thing

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Honestly men are like children with their game. My man is the exact same he gets HOOKED and told me he needs me to be telling him (not that it makes any difference) one more game is always the answer I get then he crawls into bed at 4am :roll_eyes: try not to take it personally I know I did for a while we’ve been together 3years aha

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FYI it will continue to be an issue

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Why not learn a game he likes and that you don’t mind and play with him? I did that with my husband and it help alot

Play games with him sometimes if he sees you taking an interest in his hobbies he will take an interest in yours and you can both have fun

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THROW THE WHOLE BOY AWAY. (He’s a child addicted to video games.) Find yourself a grown ass man who knows how to prioritize his time better.

Easy solution don’t go over there on his game days. Have him come over to your place or leave the relationship.

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Real easy. Don’t complain about it. When he decides to get on the game you find a reason to leave. Go to the mall or go see a friend…find something and somewhere else to be. When he asks why you leaving you just say it’s fine go play your game. Let me know when you have time for me…and leave. He will either understand that you require him to put effort when you there or you will meet someone else while you at the mall. But do not settle for watching him play his game. Whatever you do DONT COMPLAIN to him about it. You just become a nag.