Why are they even asking about his bank statements anyways? It’s none of their business. I guess I would base it on how your step father responds to it. Does he accuse you too? Or is it more him bringing up what the say? It’s weird, you don’t even know them so why are they accusing you of things.
I would tell him the accusations need to stop or find himself a new caregiver.
If he is your stepdad and you’re taking care of him, please be sure to have legal papers that give you power of attorney so others can’t convince him to give them his money or talk him into something . If this person already influenced him enough to make him think you’ve cheated him enough to show his bank statements too, what else are they capable of and what are their intentions?
Maybe those new friends are trying to get rid of you so they can have access to his things.
No ,not over reacting…get him & you protected ASAP
I think you have noticed what looks like a developing plan for him to be scammed big time. Is he having difficulty with keeping information straight in his head? Discussing what is happening with him, you and perhaps a minister or priest may help him to see how at risk he is. Probably his frustration that gives you a negative feeling stems from his “friends” working on undermining him and your taking care of him.
I had a family member who was turned against their family. Said friend had forged papers and got POA. Will was changed to go to them. Be careful of shady people and keep all important documents out of their reach.
Your story is the same as mine but in my case my mums. She ended up disowning me n chosing them over me. Good luck
Dementia or Alzheimer’s maybe ? Get an outsider to take care of him. That way he can’t accuse you of anything. He can’t help his situation. Many do this when they get older
Sounds like they are trying to get you out so they can get in and take his money. Now that’s just an assumption based off the info that was given thats what I would think.
Sounds like they are using him and you are in the way. I would have a straight forward conversation with him, if he is still able to think reasonably.
Maybe he is lonely and those friends give him company? Does he have any other social outlets?
Depends on how much effort you want to put in protecting him because that what it seems like you might be doing.
Sounds like he is being groomed for a scam
100% he’s being groomed for a scam. “Friends”, especially new ones or people who haven’t been around in many years that reappear are a huge red flag when they get involved in finances like this. It happened to my grandmother. She had set up college funds for my kids (I didn’t know about them). When she passed her friend took the funds & even more money from her bank accounts & went on vacation the same week. Nothing could be done because this woman somehow convinced my grandmother she would make sure us kids were taken care of or something along those lines I’m assuming.
It sounds like this so-called friend is trying to drive a wedge between you two so they can take advantage. I think they’re trying to divert the attention away from their self by accusing you.
Get some legal help.
Do not give his information out to ANYBODY. Alot if times con artists pray on elderly for potential financial gain. They will befriend them…and play the role WELL. Get him away from these people. As for ur obligations, I’d recommend maybe an assisted living of some sort. Somewhere nice and peaceful where he still has free will and u can visit often and he can receive the care he needs.
Watch out for them kind of friends, a red flag is blowing in the wind
His friends are accusing you or is he accusing you?
Why try to prove anything to his friends?
If it’s him, i understand. My grandma is elderly & i was the main one caring for her for a while & she would & still does accuse me of stealing everything. Money, silverware, you name it. But I’ve learned that’s a typical sign of Alzheimer’s/ dementia
Tell them to f#@k of and mind own business. If they have concerns to ring police or social services on you to investigate the matter. If they dont want to do that, tell them to leave you alone or you’ll get them done for slander.
That’s very sketchy… I think they’re trying to cause trouble because sadly they see him as an easy mark, that’s if they can get rid of the person looking out for him, I guarantee if you didn’t show up for two weeks around his payment time they would be trying to get it from him one way or another… seen this a million times and it’s so sad… I hope you manage to get these people out of his life and he sees the truth 
Sounds like the friends are up to no good. Probably trying to scam him. I’m not sure what his conditions are, like you taking care of him cause he has what dementia? Is he even capable of realizing what’s going on or what you are doing? I’d tell the friends to F off, you don’t own them anything.
They are trying to get rid of you so they can scam him.
If I was you I would tell them friends off. To me sounds like they want take control and use him.
Why does he need a caregiver? It totally depends on what his issues are if I’d consider it over reacting or not.
They need to mind their business!! Seems like they gave an ulterior motive
You owe none of these people access to anything.Def no bank statements.You need to set boundaries asap and let these people know that you are family as well as his caretaker and if the bulls**t continues they will not be permitted to be around.Sounds like they are testing you to see if you are on the ball or not…in order to do some shady sh*t themselves.Keep an eye on them.
I would worry that the friends intend to be the ones who want to control him and his money! Do you have legal guardianship! If not get it! That way you have to record what’s done, and the costs, which will be your proof! I fear they will use their claims against you, to try and get them names as guardians who could oversee his bank accounts!
I agree watch out but also on the other hand if you are able to care for him your self do so. I was a cna for years and those places are awful, just awful
These new friends are out for themselves . Lock away all important documents . They are not entitled to his bank details/statements etc . Sounds like they want to take advantage of a vulnerable man . He raised you as his daughter . Involve the police if you feel threatened by them .
Don’t give in. They sound like they are wanting to get into your dads pockets.
Talk to your stepdad tell him to be careful and do not let his friends see his bank statements or anyone else .tell him you love him and you don’t want to see him hurt by his so called friends sounds more like there trying to fleece him and get you out of picture .please love becareful .
Id go to police get them checked because its all sounding a bit shady to me.
Are you working through a home health company? Because if you aren’t you should be so you can get paid for helping him with almost any task needed done that he has trouble with.
Also, you could qualify for respite care where someone is paid to care for him so you can have very important time off. If he isn’t already set up for home health but requires help then you should look into getting him set up. That’s an exasperating and draining mission you’ve taken on. But it will do your heart good to know you did what you could when you could.
Also always say plainly how much he needs help so he can get the amount of hours approved to care for him thoroughly.
As for the waste of oxygen ppl trying to move themselves in with him, call APS and tell them that they’re hindering your ability to properly care for your father and that they are hanging around too much for him to rest well.
It’ll be a million times better if they witness your efforts and concerns before those kinds of ppl make false accusations anonymously.
Trust me… I have an entire family riddled with such kinds of ppl.
You speak with the new friend alone.
Tell them you are aware of what they are doing. That you have been to the police. You will be filing charges and getting a restraining order.
That they need to disappear out of your step fathers life.
NOW.
Fuck that live your own life why should you put your life on hole for someone who jut unhappy and ungrateful 
let his friends take of him he much be telling them you are stealing from him and not taking care of him
This is a tactic used to wiggle in and take take take. This new “friend” is setting him up big time. They intend to push you out and take over to take everything he has. This unfortunately happens a lot. Find a way to safeguard his money etc. Who has power of attorney? Someone needs to have control to keep things safe. I would look into this persons background asap
I would stop going over for a few weeks and see of his attitude changes. If he keeps accusing you of stealing, for example, and you proved him wrong and he still does it…let him know…you know what? You deserve better care than from someone who you think is stealing from you. So…until you give me an apology and realize what I gave up and stop telling me I did things and making me PROVE to you that I did not, only for you to not believe me, your new friends and yourself can find different care. I will wait for this amount of time and if I have not heard from you I will assume you took care of the issue and I will move on with my life. This is your final get out of jail free card. If you wait to long and realize you actually need me…I will not be available after this date. You have to set boundaries dear. Yes…I fully believe that parents should be taken care of…but that does not mean they have the right to treat you with disrespect. Maybe once you are gone…he will realize what kinds of friends he has. Best of luck to you.
Make the new friends dissappear could be a scam.Sounds to me one so called friend is delving into your stepdads personal affairs that’s not good.You have as you say given up alot to care for him cont8nue with it.And keep checking your dad’s personal affairs in case.
Are these people around your dad’s age or younger if younger then I’d be on full alert.Better to be safe than sorry
Some can that isn’t a relative wants their money alot I went threw that with my mom I knew some one she want alot of their money the wife was blind and the caretaker talked to her husband sweetly and he was going down hill s
He gave her money left and right he died before the wife died and then she cared for the wife she took even more money until she died an in law or brother took her to court she got her license taken away it was like Now at robbery so beware of who is taking care of your fam
Tell the New friend to get out of his business. If they are that concerned. Let them take over his care and return to your own life
Go get POA before they get in and he starts giving them things.
Is this new " friend" a female? Sounds like she’s looking for an easy cash out.
Stand ur ground if u care for this man. Being a CNA in-home caregiver. I’ve seen this alot.
Sounds like the new friend is testing to get rid of you so they can take advantage of him. Get rid of them if you have to call the authorities.
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In my opinion.
That man gave up his life to help raise you,
So why complain about helping taking care of him?
Or taking complete care of him.
If you proved him wrong, then move past it.
Maybe he is getting old and senaile
We were once young and senaile.
I am not trying to be mean at all
Because I have cared for 5 elderly people
And
2 of them were not even mine.
But the job has to get done.
Thats normal for them to accuse you of stealing with this disease. You will be accused of all kinds of crazy stuff and will have to learn to not take it personally. You need to get power of attorney over him. Keep an eye on the new friends. They could just be helping , but keep an eye on them.
Get him a nurse or a home care aid if he wants to be accusing you of everything under the sun.
Sounds like this new friend is trying to be sneaky sneaky with his finances and it’s just setting you up to take the fall when it happens.
My thought is his new friends want to chase you away so they can take advantage of him.
Get rid of that friend!! Asap!
Get power of attorney over him
Their not family you are , he’s your Dad they need to back off
Typical elderly abusers push who are close out and Weasle their way in. My only question is what’s your step father saying?
Maybe you should call up some of his OLD friends to come pay him a visit. So he can remember what a real friend is like. He is probably feeling lonely so is allowing anybody in his circle.
Let me tell ya the nasty truth about what this sounds like, the “friends” are trying to make you the bad guy so they have access to his money by alienating you from him. I’d be very careful and call the state if anymore weird accusations come up saying exactly this they’re trying to alienate and take power of his assets and estate.
It is not easy to be a caregiver for a loved one prayers for you
Have them checked out by the police
I agree with those saying these new friends are out to scam your step-dad. You need to protect him and yourself from them. If your step-dad is having dementia or Alzheimer’s accusing the one that cares for them of stealing us normal. My husband helped me with my dad so he was the one he accused. Just be patient with him if that is the case.
May God bless you for taking care of him.
Move stepdad in with you and don’t allow the “friend” over. Seems like he isn’t in the right mind to decide who is good or bad for him and he might be taken advantage of because of this.
I would be VERY concerned with them getting in his business like that.
I would move him out of there!!!
He must have dementia or Alzheimer’s try not to be offended u don’t have to prove anything to anyone
Sounds like a major red flag that someone he doesn’t know that well is trying to get involved in his financial affairs. It was an easy way for them to gain access to his bank statements to see what kind of money he has. Please do not back down to these “friends” as I fear they do not have his best interest at heart, like they’re claiming.
You need power of attorney over him and you need to keep record of everything they try to pull. Elderly abuse has become a serious problem. Trust me I know. I take care of my step dad to and I’ve had some serious situations. That power of attorney is a big key to how I keep the control and the “friends” don’t get to just use him
They are making you out to be the bad guy and trying to take his money!!! Don’t leave any financial records in that house!!! I would even put up a couple cameras around the house.
Go to the police with all of what u said here. Make a report of this call lawyers for a free first appt
If I was you I wouldn’t help take care of him since is treating you like that. I wouldn’t sacrifice anything to help any one especially family.
Sounds like his so called friends were the ones trying to steal from him then you came along and ruined that. Good for you for being there for your stepfather it’s a very caring thing to do to drop everything for this man. You’re clearly a good person and you don’t owe any explanation or proof of bank statements to anyone it’s not their business! Keep doing what you’re doing ignore those jerks!
Dementia and Alzheimer’s disease cause them too accuse you of everything! Tell them to mind their own business and get Power of Attorney over him.
The “friend” wants his money.
Tell his friends straight out to get out of his and your business
You have every right to be upset. This sounds like he has a lowered mental state due to age or illiness. He may be manipulated by these so called friends. I took of my mom for 10 years. I gave up everything & moved for her even. Her family accused me of all kinds of things. From keeping her from family members, withholding medication, stealing, trying to kill her, abusing her & my son etc. Constantly having to prove my innocence got in the way of our relationship. I wish I didn’t take these accusations to heart & focused on spending my time with her without anger or resentment. Ignore these claims. They come from a state of confusion from him & manipulation from others. He needs you to protect him from these friends. They’re accusing you so you feel the need to prove them wrong then they can steal from him. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone but the authorities. If it comes to that then you have nothing to fear because you did nothing.
They’re trying to run your off. With you out of the way watching over him & his finances they have free reign & can use him. I’d try to get them out of his life.
You’ll be blessed helping him btw even though I’m sure it’s hard.
Yeah they need to be out his life they are the one takin from him an if none of it works then keep your self safe an stay away let him find someone else
Asking anyone to see bank statements is weird… id be syssibg this new friend out …
If you take care of him move him into your house and get guardianship… if they try to come or have contact get a restraining order against them
Young one be careful they sound like predators- first they friend - then isolate and cause disruption in family/ caregiver relationship- all the while checking out the worth of the person/ possessions- once they are in - the person is left with nothing. Be careful and be vigilant - young one . May Our Mighty Creator Bless You for all you do.
It sounds like the “friends “ are trying to set you up or run you out of the picture so they can take over and take his things. If they convince him that you are doing those things he will eventually trust them more and they could take everything he has.
This so called new friend who wants to see his bank statements is sending up a huge red flag. Please don’t take offense to whatever BS this person is spewing, because it’s nothing more than an attempt to gain access to his finances. That being said, keep a close eye on things and pay attention to how much time they spend together.
He needs new friends. I would move him closer to you.
Seems like those friends wants to push you out so they can scoot in and take his money.
Sounds like they want to be in charge of his finances and take his money. So they are feeding him lies. Be careful with those type of people.
It sounds like people are trying to take advantage of him. Unfortunately as we age our guards aren’t as good as they use to be. Although I’m sure it’s upsetting and frustrating that he is accusing you of this, it really may not be his fault. Our minds as we get older just aren’t as good. His new “friends” sound like scammers.
Do a background check on new friend. I’m sure this isn’t the first time they have tried to connive their way into scamming someone, or the first time looking to cause trouble. Then show said findings to your dad so that he can run them off. Or, show it to the friend on your own time when he’s not around and let them know, that your dad or you for that matter are not the one. Then, with findings (hopefully their are some) tell them that if they continue to harass your father that you will take legal action against them, as well as file a restraining order.
This is how episodes of snapped start. New friends with his ear are dangerous if you don’t understand their intentions. Get to know the new friend. Put yourself in the middle of that situation. Do not shy away, that’s what they want.
Don’t trust that “friend”
Sounds to me like these people are trying to brainwash him into thinking that you are using him for money when they are wanting to do that theirselves. That isn’t hard with old people because they draw toward the people they are around the most. I would talk to Adult Protective Services for advice.
Predators like to pray on the weak and elderly. Bc they see an easy payout. I would be wary of these people.
They are trying to scam for his money.
Are you his POA,
Power of Attorney if not you need to be then you can squash all of the bad conversation
Is he older? Could he possibly be getting dementia? Alot of my clients worry about their money when they have dementia/Alzheimer’s disease.
His friend has a lot of guts asking to see his bank statements . That’s none of his business
First thing you can ask for a outside advocate for him to be a non biased check point so he is protected by anyone who is caring for him . If you are unsure of thier motivation be careful, as care givers its easy to get lost in the emotional aspects so a neutral 3 rd party might be helpful for all involved and protect him and you . Check with aging and disabled services.
It sounds like his new friends are setting the scene and planting the seeds of doubt so that when they make their move, all that talk will be focused on you. I’d be for making some power of attorney moves strictly out of protection for your Step Dad because part of taking care of him is handling situations like this, to protect him from people that want to take advantage of him, without allowing your feelings to get in the way. When caring for someone older, we often forget that it’s like dealing with a 13 year old teenager. They are almost impossible to reason with, it’s their way or the highway and they remember things from a different period in time so they worry differently than we are used to. They also may not have long to live so taking a step back and reeling in our short temper will go a long way. Try not to take things too personally and don’t hold it over his head that you gave up whatever you gave up–it’s like giving a homeless person a sandwich then blasting it all over social media about how good of a person you are. Your concerns are definitely in the right place. These new friends don’t sound like very good friends at all. Keep your eyes on them and maybe talk your step dad into something like Nest so you can keep a closer on what his “friends” are up to.
Talk to your father in law and see what he thinks about it
They are trying to rob him. Get him away from those people asap
Ima a home health aid keep all documents try to use his checks to pay bills no cash or go to the sheriff and/or SSA and get him a payee most pharmacy have delivery and also preset meds into daily time frame for medicine schedules back yourself up cause it’s the one thing ppl will try and do APS is who they will call to get you in trouble adult protective services
I would be angry aswell . But keep an eye on his new freinds they could be up to something