The lad has a sadistic streak, bye bye
Oh boy, a feel a big red flag
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Move on - he married u - all boys love college girls in skimpy clothes & itās their time! Donāt make it a situation - I was married 35 years & we all have PTSD from our first husbands- thatās why you left that fool & married mr wonderful- be happy
Sounds like heās gaslighting you.
Okay ā¦here is what you do! Take a nice stroll with him somewhere publicā¦ and wait until an attractive man walks by ā¦let out a nice whistle and say man! Iād tap that! Bet ya he will keep his observations to himself next time! 
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How do I post something to the group I need advice
Start noticing other guys and if he doesnāt change leave him for one of them.
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Yea you overacting. Suck it up.
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Itās debilitating after awhile . Exhausting
I point out attractive people of either sex. Iām secure enough to admit when another woman is attractive. But I can also get petty if I feel the need. If it bothers you that much, youāre going to have to get stupid to make your point. If that doesnāt do it then you will have to accept that that isnāt the right man for you. I do have bad news for you thoā¦ The only has eyes for you, never looks at another woman ever man only exists in hallmark movies.
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Itās a no for meā¦bye!
It depends on the comments.
Soundz like an arsewipe to me
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Iāve learned not to put up with any of any manās insensitive bullshit if heās not mature enough to keep his mouth shut then heās not husband material.
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Heās not listening to how you feel n taking your feelings into consideration ā¦is this really what you want in your life ā¦
Sounds like a fish you should have thrown back.
if you did itā¦he would be ready to fight and leaveā¦he is immature and rude
He can look, he just canāt touch. Let him look
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Why on earth did you marry him.
I think you already know what you need to do why ask on line
Im not gonna lie i would do the same to him too,just so he can feel what i do!
Sorry but sounds like u married a jerk
Dump his ass. Tell him he not good in bed see how he like it.
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I am going to say something unpopular. I have raised sons and grandsons. MEN THINK DIFFERENTLY THAN WOMEN. Men are very literal and say just what they mean. If he says a co-worker looks good after having 5 childrenā¦he means āWow, she looks good after having 5 children.ā if a man says āThose college girls had very little clothing onā¦to say the LEAST!ā he means that they had very little clothing on and he couldnāt help but notice. MEN ARE LITERAL. Women are not. Remember, he is with you, comes home to you, loves you. Instead, think of how he is sharing his thoughts and day with youā¦as a man does. Say something to him like āSome women keep their bodies after childbirth, I bet her husband appreciates that.ā for the college girls say something like āI bet you wouldnāt let your daughter dress like that!ā bring a little reality into itā¦without making him defensive.
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You should never have gotten marriedā¦ no one should be responsible for anyoneās exā¦ until you are healed from your ex, you are the only one responsible for YOUR past hurts and disappointmentsā¦
it is NOT your current spouse responsibility or obligation to help you carry YOUR baggageā¦
Stop blaming or making people in the present responsible for YOUR pastā¦
And stop allowing people in the present, responsible for making you happy or healing you from your pastā¦
Everyone has baggageā¦ itās up to each individual to heal from that or lean to deal with itā¦ not your future spouse, itās not fair, he has baggage also that HE alone needs to heal from
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Hes talking to you like your his boy and theres nothing wrong with that, but you cant deal with it. Learn to deal with it without being insecure. Build yourself and your beauty inside and out then you wont mind so much. He sees you as a friend also and thats cool, he does have eyes. The world is beautiful so let him know that your alive too and noticing others, men, its healthy!
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Men are going to look. Thatās how men are. So far he is sharing what he thinks with you. His comments tell you what traits he sees as valuable. Increase those traits in you. The minute you make him afraid to talk to you he will start keeping secrets. You want your ptsd to go into over drive? Make him so afraid of your insecurities he shuts up. So essentially you have taken a normal behavior in your manā¦ and a positive one because he shares his observations with youā¦ and you made it all about you not being good enoughā¦ its not about you. Stop ruining a good thing and own your own insecurity
You can turn what heās doing into a couple thing by agreeing with him and saying" yes that one is cute". Act like you could care less . And you start noticing cute men!!
Or realize heās a total jerk and get rid of him.
3 years together seems you had to have saw the signs before only 2 weeks ago. You know your truth, time to deal with it and move forward. If thatās with him you better have a plan for when you admit he is looking elsewhere and will soon (if not already) be cheating.
Why did you marry him? Surely he didnāt start this behavior the day you got married. He doesnāt respect your feelings. My experience is that is only going to get worse. By marrying him you told him you were okay with that behavior.
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Hereās how I see itā¦his remarks MAY be totally harmless and mean nothing BUT the fact that the remarks bothered you enough for you to say something and he ignored your feelings is a huge red flag for me. His actions may be innocent but when he chooses to basically belittle your feelings and turns it into a get over it type of attitude that is a problem. Personally I would walk away because itās only going to get worse. He showed who he is. Believe him.
Got to look at yourself thatās too much to put on someone else.
What she said. I missed those ref flags. It only grows within them. Gets ugly.
He make be looking for reassurance from you that heās desirableā¦I know its a bit wonky but men are that way
Excue me but past or prest should not be prot in to a marrage Im been marrage 9 years my husban yell sware at me damage my self steam
Comments should not be made like this to any wife or girl friend better be on the look out been there
Ask him to explain to you why he feels he has to tell you his thoughts. He can keep these feelings to himself.
Sounds like a narcissist. Get out, save yourself the wasted years. I wish I would have.
If youāve been together 3 years these comments didnāt just start when you got married 
Andy just because you got married donāt mean itās going to stop
Start commenting on other guys. How sexy they look oh honey look at his buldge look at his butt look at his muscle. What is good for the goose is good for the gander.
maybe heāll stop
Ffs you married him you must have had an idea .
Comments like this do not warrant a divorce or annulment. Marriage is about communication. If you canāt talk to each other about these things, then something tiny will also have the ability to destroy your relationship. Try talking about this and telling him why its hurtful to you. Does it make you feel inadequate? Tell him how it makes you feel. Strengthen your marriage with better communication. Its not about being too sensitive - its about letting external things destroy your marriage.
Why donāt you look around and. Mention what looks good to you
Heās an assholeā¦plan and simple
Heās an inconsiderate asshole.
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Heās an ASSHOLE!!!
Josette Kinslow totally and absolutely agree with you.
Just curious. What other things is he not going to be allowed to say, as time rolls on?
If you and he canāt be honest about things, call it quits now and be honest about who caused it.
Not him.
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Throw the bum out. No man, no decent man, not that I think he is one deserves someone like you. Start living, and remember life is too short to waste on a piece of trash.
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Donāt be petty, be confident. Fuck his boss
Can u say annulment?
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I just tell my husband you want me talk like that.smh
You are in troubleā¦red flags waving
Tell him how you feel
Gaslighting. Run. Far and fast.
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A COMPLETE CREEP who is USING YOU!!!
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Do you trust him ? Has he given you reason to not trust him ? Do not make this man pay for something an X did to you and get yourself to a counselor.
My ex did the same thing about one of his coworkers. We are less than 2 weeks out of our relationship and he moved in with herā¦ he moved in with her after we were split for 2 days.
As long as he makes you FEEL like you have nothing to worry about then dont worry about it. My husband does it all the time but i know he loves me & hes not going anywhere. If you dont have that kind of security then you have an issue that needs to be dealt with.
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I donāt understand why everyone is always so quick to say just leave
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Iāve never understood jealousy. My husband and I have been together for 35 years. He is human! He may look,thatās inevitable. He is committed as I am!. Trust your self and your husband. He is NOT your X!
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I can only say WOW! Someone who suffers from PTSD canāt just ālighten up!ā He is 
%WRONG in this situation. He is disrespecting her feelings that she has shared with him. Sharing your feelings from PTSD is an accomplishment in itself and for him to ignore that, makes him evil in my heart.
Save your dignity and just leave him.
You donāt need negativity when ur suffering already
Find love in yourself because he wonāt be able to love you
Unless u love yourself.
Get some confidence go out with your friends get some attention from others he wonāt like it when u come back and say the same thing about other men
He is being disrespectful to you. Let him know how you feel and Iād he doesnāt change move on. Find a therapist for you
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I have PTSD from previous marriage and prior career also. I choose not to let stuff like this bother me. There are worse things he could be doing
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Boy reading everybodyās comments I guess you are all very insecure in your relationships. Or maybe you donāt feel good about yourself and Iām sorry for that.
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I think there is more information needed. Context of the conversation, tone, etc. Sometimes an observation is just that. Only you can decide to let something bother you or not but please take pause and really consider the context in which the statement was made. And ask yourself if you make these observations yourself about the opposite sex and if they are malicious towards your husband or harmless. I try no never hold my husband to a higher standard than myself, that is not fair and keeps me in perspective.
I would not put up with it but havings said that I did for a while and regret it. Did not turn out well but now I am happy and have built back up my self esteem. I think he is rude, immature and you deserve better. There are a lot of bad issues with him but every time he says stuff like that he chips away at your self esteem. Having been through living with someone like that my suggestion would be to find a new life without him. He is not a good man
Since you are newly weād you should address your concerns straight on. Speak calmly and clearly and explain to him that his behavior is unbecoming and improper for a married man. If he twists it on you, just stop the conversation and walk to another room. If youāre able to nip it now, thereās a chance it will stop
Your feelings of insecurity are because of past experiences, not caused by him. Learn how to deal with the past and get past it. You could push him away by being accusatory. Learn to love yourself! He may be needing you to remind him how great you are and how great he is. When my hubby complimented other women, if I had seen them, I would say positive things about her too or comment that she works hard to look good because her man was a hunk. Or make jokes and make light of it. He was a true flirt. Making it a source of contention and a fight could drive him away.
He just wants to keep you feeling insecure if you ask me. So you work harder at making sure he is happy. Its manipulation.
This seems like it could be the pattern of a secret misogynist. Charm first, get you committed, and then do things to hurt you and kill your confidence. Get some support to deal with this situation. Read Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them by Dr. Susan Forward. You will read it with disbelief and then you will start to recognize the traits and patterns.
Rememberā¦he isnāt the last guyā¦be confident in your relationshipā¦if it bothers youā¦tell himā¦tell him you feel disrepectedā¦howeverā¦he will still think those things he is not hiding anything. .sometimes when they stop talking and act like they are blindā¦then u may have a problem
Personally I would just give if back lol talking abt how good the guy at the store looks ectā¦
Iām sorry that this bothers you. Itās probably not about you at all but you might want to be a as clear as possible that it bothers you. I learned early on that my husbandās comments had nothing to do with me and was just part of his causal conversation. But if it had bothered me I would have talked to him about it and I think he would try to curb the comments. That doesnāt mean he would always think about it so it would not completely stop it.
My husband made me comfortable staring at other women when we went out. He got a lesson when I started looking at other men and embellishing on their looks. I can be quite remarkable at times with my ideas lol.
Its bad enough for him to b thinking bout it but he needs to keep it to himself.
That game can be played two ways. His words are not actions, so get beyond that. They are just words. When you see men who look good comment. Do it in regular conversation and not in meanness. Comment on their dress, their healthy body, their handsome features, their job success, etc. Give him a dose of his own medicine.
Jeannie Harbin, I actually told Bill Bish Bishop I had picked out my next husband and I introduced my future husbandās wife as his ex-wife. Bill didnāt bat an eye. I used to be terribly jealous but it only hurt me. Youāre right that itās 100/100.
Turn the table on him! See a guy say something like dang he looks mighty fine or wow I could make that man cry!! Words are cheep and can cut both ways 
I would start complementing Every male I see when we were together. Give him a dose of his own medicine
Try couples counseling. Sometimes a neutrsl intermediary as translator can help.
When he comes home from work one night, have āMagic Mike on the TV and be swooning all over those guys. Start laying steamy romance books around. and Start noticing guys butts or muscles and watch how fast he starts pouting. Let him know Jesuit the only guy I. Town
you are over reactingā¦donāt take your insecurity out on himā¦you musthave noticed him doing these things when you were dating for 3 years
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Again who told you you have to put up with someoneās bad behavior! You should never have to tell your spouse they are hurting you with their words actions move on! Quit being in love with marriage you really deserve better and you are going to resent him down the road not your problem to fixā¦!!!
Maybe you should start saying that about other guys and see how he likes it. Hes not ready to be in a relationship let alone married.
- You have been with him long enough to know if he is a cheater or not and you married him so Iām betting he isnāt. 2 he married you so why worry about it. I think we worry too much about the wrong things and being drama to ourselves that we donāt need. My husbandās high school gf, the mother if his children lubed with us when she was down on her luck and she was in our wedding. Everyone was floored. But the bottom line is if he wanted her she wouldnāt have been an ex and he wouldnāt have been marrying me. You have to lighten up and not judge him by your ex. We were married happily for 21 years until he passed away.
Ignore what he says. Maybe he feels that you are confident enough to hear him just say things. My husband admired women but he Loved ME.
I always pointed out good looking women to my husband. The few times I commented on men he got angry. After about a year of me not pointing anyone out he asked why. I told him. A month or so later he pointed out some random GROSS guy. But he was trying. We laughed & moved on. He got better. We were together/ married 35 years before he passed in 2019. Point out hot men, oogle some. Have fun with it.
Dearly Presents
Honestly does he tell u your beautiful and he loves you ?
I think the average men may notice a hard working mom of 5 !! Doesnāt mean he would rather be with her.
Does he talk about what he would like to do to her ? Big difference there. Donāt get me wrong. Iām a jealous wife. I shouldnāt be. I know my husband isnāt going anywhere. He loves me. Although I can be a real b&$(, he truly loves me. But, he has noticed other women. Said things that had me fired up. After about 25 yrs + of marriage I made a comment about someone on tv !! Slowly but in time he just stopped saying things. But, I didnāt throw a fit about it. Didnāt say I liked it but I do love him. I know how much he loves me. Thatās that.
Heās not dead. Heās with you isnāt he? Accept that he is a man and that is their nature. Itās just that some men know how to just keep their mouths shut. Be glad he says it in front of you instead of behind your back. Thatās when something is wrong. My opinion.
You must do the same. Talk about how other men are. Show him examples. Then only he will know what it feels like
I think heās being VERY disrespectful. Especially since he knows it bothers you. why canāt he keep his comments to himself? Especially after only being married for two weeks! For all of you that think itās OK, itās NOT OK!
He is either not very bright, or insensitiveā¦ā¦ or both.
Itās disrespectful to make remarks that he KNOWS upset you.
One might say he is emotionally abusive.
The only way to get through to him is to do it back to him and watch his reactionā¦ Just small comments but enough to get your point acrossā¦
Some of those college girls are under age! Inappropriate.
Why women put up with this is beyond me.
Sheās been with him 5 years but married only 2 weeks. And sheās just now finding this out about him ? I doubt that. I think weāre not hearing the whole story.
Heās very inconsiderate and doubt heāll change. Was he always this way? does he compliment you? If not lady, youāre in trouble!
Feeling invalidated brings you down. Gaslighting and manipulation is not ok.
You need to leave if he really cared about you he wouldnāt be making those comments
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Sorry that you have issues but your husband isnāt dead. As long as he is coming home to you then there shouldnāt be a problem.