I would just give it a little bit. He just got upsetting news about some family members & he already has depression to begin with. Give him time, he probably doesn’t intentionally mean to be like that but he’s just stressed out… and some people project on others. I would tell him you know things are happening that is hard for him…if he needs anything to let you know and ask him how you can help.
Sit and talk with him about this. When I get in the dumps I want to be left alone
Not the time to make it about you….
I am very confused I have no idea what you are actually worried about but I must say communication is key to a healthy relationship and also take into consideration that if he is depressed sometimes it’s hard to process emotions it’s probably not you at all
He’s having a hard time right now, talk to him and ask if there’s anything you can do to help. Don’t take the attitude personally, he needs time and that may take a while cuz he’s about to lose two grandparents at once.
Absolutely talk to him. He might be feeling giant emotions that are new and he’s having problems processing them. You don’t deserve to be treated badly, however he may be unaware how his actions are affecting you. Be his support.
You won’t know unless you sit down and speak with him. Not everyone processes situations the same way, especially hard situations such as this. Before getting into your own head about things you should really speak to him.
He’s about to lose some of his family… give home some sympathy and go with the roller coaster of emotions. He will remember you leaving and going out when he needs you the most.
He’s having a hard time are what you can do to help to be their for him sometimes when I feel down I don’t want to be around alot of people
Seriously this is the time you make it about him. He needs understanding. I just lost one of my favorite uncles who was also in hospice. I’m probably not the happiest person to be around. Thank God my hubby is my hugest support when I need him. Take a step back and put yourself in his shoes.
He might just need some time
Be with him on his side
He got a headache so you didn’t go out, was that an example of how he’s been mean? I’m so confused. Regardless, no offense, but this appears a little self centered. It sounds like he’s struggling. Be there for him, even if that means giving him space to process. Everyone grieves differently. I agree with the other comments too. Communicate, ask him what he needs from you to get through this difficult time. I’m sorry to hear about his grandparents.
You need to talk to him and tell him how you feel. Ask him if you can help him in anyway and let him know you are there for him whenever he is ready to talk or whenever he needs you. Everyone processes stuff like this differently. He may just need to be alone but not want you gone. When my dad passed 2 years ago I didn’t talk to anybody but my kids. I didn’t wanna be around anybody but them. I had a really rough time and still do sometimes but I’ve learnt ways to deal. Just be there to support him and be there for him.
He is probably going through a lot right now, he needs you there for him, he might not seem like he wants you there but you should be there for him. Men are very different when it come to expressing emotions.
Hug him, give him a foot rub, make him food/snack
Ask if he wants to talk about it, but don’t push it, he might not want to talk about
Let him know you are there for him.
Talk to him and just let him know that you are there for him. Losing anyone that you love isn’t easy on anyone
This is not about you your boyfriend is going through something. You can’t fix the situation and neither can he. Just follow his lead give him space if he needs it and dnt when he doesn’t.
I know he’s losing them but at the same time he shouldn’t treat you like that when your only trying to support him. He should be loving to you and happy that your by his side.
Talk to him and let him you your there when he needs you and is ready to talk give him his space and check on him he will come to you guys have different ways of showing emotions
It’s not about you! He is grieving he needs attention and or space
Leave him or talk to him
Support as much as u can, sit and talk about it…
Show some TLC…
Some people cannot express themselves properly due to frustration or sadness…
So be there as much an always show ur love an support…
I am the worlds worst about shutting down when stuff gets hard or going through a hard time. This last year has been very stressful and hard and my depression and anxiety has been at it’s all time worst as well. I have shut my husband out so many times this year but the one thing that hasn’t changed is the fact he’s still been there for me in any way he can and put up with every mood swing, every outburst, every time I just needed someone to cry to or rant to or anything. It’s been very hard for both of us but what matters is that he sticks through it and does his best to try to understand and work through it with me and that I am so thankful for. Even on the days where I don’t talk much or seem like I want nothing to do with him, I couldn’t make it through without him.
Your feelings are valid, and I just want to say as someone who’s lost people that it may not be intentional. Be patient, but also communicate your feelings because you matter too. He has to learn to healthily cope not just for yalls relationship but for himself too 
best of luck and remember that hurt people, hurt people.
His emotions are probably going up and down it’s def not you but try to understand him if you don’t understand how depression works just try to be there for him and let him know your there for him when he is ready to talk. Try to keep him busy doing positive thing’s. it’s hard but don’t take it personally and if he offends you just calmly and maturely confront and communicate that to him.
I just went through this with my husband. His father was in his final stages and he was very distant with myself and his kids. Then he passed away, and was even more distant. All you can do is just tell him your there for him whenever he needs someone. And just listen if he wants to talk. My husband would wake me up in the middle of the night and I would just sit there and cry with him or just listen when he was talking. So just be there for him whenever he is ready to talk or even just cry.
Men are mostly raised to not show their emotions and be vulnerable so when it comes to grief and heartache if raised in that manner_ its hard for a man to show his vulnerable side cause they are always taught to be strong and blah blah blah… just be there for him. Do small things to show u care…and let him know if he needs u or needs to let it out that you’re there for him. Maybe just lay down and hold the guy. Learn his love language 
and normally the person you’re closest to is the one who will catch the pain when they’re hurting or going thru things…so kinda in a way don’t be a doormat but think of it as a badge of honor as funny as that may sound. Be his rock!! And dnt be frustrated over not having sex… don’t take it as an insult or feel insecure- hes going thru a hard time and thats last thing on his mind.
He wants you to be there without him having to ask.
Men are horrible with both communication and showing their emotions. So you got 2 things already not on your side. If I were in your situation I would give him his space, tell him your absolutely there whenever he may need you, however I’d also gently let him know how you’re feeling so he can’t say you weren’t there for him. He wants you there! Trust me, he wants you there. Even if he doesn’t say anything at all…your support is everything to him right now. Hang in there chick! Remember, it’s not about you right now. Best of luck 
Do you know what hospice is? If you did I don’t think you’d be as self centered as you are. He’s going through an extremely hard time on top of what he goes through everyday and you’re making it all about you. The best thing you can do if you care about him is to tell him you’re there when/if he needs you and check on him often and give him space. He’s losing people he loves, this isn’t about you. Let him have his space, let him come to terms with the reality of the situation, let him deal with this how he does. Just be there when he’s ready to open up or even speak up. His grandparents are dying, people he loves are dying and that’s what you need to open your eyes to. One day it could be you in his shoes and you wouldn’t want one to make it about them when you’re the one losing loved ones. I’ve been where he’s at and I do hope with time of course that he can have some kind of peace. My heart goes out to him and his family.
You are definitely overthinking this. He was sexual towards you? Don’t act confused because you chose to stay home & get nothing now. Put on some sexy lingerie & turn him on, then MAYBE you can try talking to him afterwards?
First of all my opinion is the beer didn’t help his mood. I get like this too. I am afraid of being close to someone. I have a fiancée but, I am really depressed and my mom is living with me very sick. I am so mentally occupied I am short with my fiancé. I am mean, and my sex drive is low. I feel guilty and try to be nice but I’m already trying so hard to just get through the day I am just spent. I wish I was single but he is dedicated to me. I don’t want to throw my relationship away over my sadness about losing my parent but I feel like I do every time I see him. I hope this helps you understand that he maybe experiencing these feelings. It’s no excuse though, but his parents are dying and that messes with a person.
Dont make this about you. I promise, that’ll make everything worse. He is going thru something terrifying. It needs to be all about him.
Some people are so cold, judge mental, and aren’t any better than their OPINION of you on here GOSH people can be monsters!!! ANYWAY, clearly he is having an extremely hard time, but unfortunately in this situation not a lot you can do for him, other than be patient, loving, consoling IF he wants to talk. If he needs alone time, ok. I say this from experience of loosing people. My dad, all but one grandparent, many others that crushed my soul. However, I was once with a very abusive man that blamed EVERYTHING on anxiety/depression. Let me tell you something depression doesn’t make you treat people down right poorly, it will make you pull away at times and be down, but also speaking from a lot of experience diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and have been extremely depressed at times in my life. And factor in the losses It IS NOT why ANYONE treats you poorly or is mean. Like I said, he may need you to back off and wait for him to come around, and for him you should. Be supportive and understanding & don’t push him, but don’t allow it as an excuse to be mean either. Nicely tell him your heart hurts for him and you know nothing can take away the pain and you are 
there for him if he needs to talk. YOU stay strong, positive, and available for when he is ready to talk, cry or whatever and understand if he needs space, that is normal and nothing to do with you. Mean, isn’t ok.
Coming from someone who struggles with depression, we lash out at the people we love because we know they can take it and will still love us. It’s primitive behaviour. I know it’s not an excuse at all. Kids do it with their moms as another example. Processing grief can be a slippery slope. Only thing I can say is love him and let him know you are there for him. Even in tough times. Depression effects the sex drive as well. Sometimes the lead up is all I can muster up as well. It will get better. Good luck
He is probably all over in emotions. Feeling decent one second, horrible the next. Grief comes out differently in everyone and the run of emotions can be hard to keep up with. Talk to him…and more importantly be there for him, even just in silence. Try not to take his emotional swings personally. It is a lot to think of lose one grandparent…let alone 2 so close together.
Give him his space. Yes, let him know that you are there if he needs you. But I will tell you this, if you leave you will never hear the end of it. He may seek solace somewhere else and say you weren’t there when he needed you the most.
Sounds like depression.
He’s not doing too good mentally or emotionally right now, sorry don’t mean to sound rude but it isn’t about you or most likely have anything to do with you. Don’t take it personal and just try to be supportive.
Depression is a whole different world. Puts you in a mindset you want out of but cant remove from. Give the man a hug. Ask if he wants to talk about it. Sometimes we feel embarrassed of being sad especially men so they choose to be rude instead
Poor bugger is going through hell and his depression will get worse. Be there for him give him space when he needs space and don’t take offence of what he says to you as it’s not him but the depression
I lost both my grandparents in a housefire September 23. I have 0 sex drive, my mind is crowded with thoughts and feelings and I’m so sleepy all the time but for the first month I couldn’t sleep in my bed I could only sleep on my couch so I was not even sharing a bed with my fiance. I didn’t like talking my feelings with my fiance bc I felt like I was burdening him and bc I felt like it was the same feeling over and over and it just didn’t help to vocalize it anymore, it’s just grief, I wanted to be normal and happy but some days I just can’t. Time makes things easier but hospice is a big step in a very permanent direction and I can imagine how he feels and it has nothing to do with you at this time
He is grieving hun. Just be there for him where you can. Do little acts of kindness without mentioning it and don’t expect a thank you. Just be there.
He needs support. I lost my mom 5 years ago (I took care of her all my life since she suffered traumatic brain injury when I was 14) and my grandma who finished raising me 4 years ago. This is absolutely not about you so quit trying to make it about you. Have you ever physically felt the pain of your own heart breaking? I have and I imagine that your boyfriend is feeling the same way I do. The pain he feels is ongoing. It doesn’t stop. It doesn’t get better. You just learn how to live with it and hide it better. My mom got toxic shock in 1988. My daughter died in 1990. My dad died in 2009. My mom in 2016. My grandma died in 2017. I’m begging you to support him and to be there for him because the losses he is about to face will not only hurt him to the core but will also change him as a person.
Hospice sweetie is the end of life care, so yes he’s depressed n men show their emotions in many different ways. Biggest suggestion, watch him so he doesn’t hide emotions in alcohol. This is the time he needs you, even if just sitting watching TV or holding his hand. Grief hits many ways; anger, denial, loss of hope, and sadness. All those can affect intimacy, so don’t take it to heart…
He’s trying bare with him
Don’t play on his mood do what you want / need it’s not his parents it’s his grandparents unless they raised him carry on. Do not let him dictate your plans. If anything this sounds super toxic and controlling. At this point re evaluate your relationship and either kick him out or leave
Your boyfriend or husband just received news about his grandparents are going to die before long. Why would you want your BF to go out ? You deserve all good things but this seems cold hearted and not family oriented at all.
The girls saying that he shouldn’t be that sad because its his grandparents and not parents. Thats so nasty. I hope your kids never have someone tell them something like that. Never okay. Regardless of who it is, he is grieving!
Could you be more self-centered?
Grieving is definitely different for everyone. 
So, on Wednesday our daughter was ran over by a truck right in front of mt house. She’s alive thank god. But in a considerable amount of pain and it’s going to be a long road to recovery (my daughter is 3 years old) my husband has reacted to this by crying, being angry, being sad, crying some more, activities with his children, caring for our baby and yes at some points being kinda mean. But it’s how HE is dealing with it (I understand it’s not the same circumstances I’m using it as a example) some of the characteristics he’s showing is very unlike him but he’s going thru something right now as is everyone in our home. The point is let him handle this how he sees fit, sit with him, whatever he needs. When it’s all said and done relationships are NEVER 50/50 sometimes he can only give that 1% and you gotta give the 99 and other times you’ll only be able to do the 1% and he will have to do the 99. This is a time you gotta do the 99 honey.
He just found out both of his grandparents are placed on hospice he’s trying to deal with them emotions instead of being judgmental is what you need to be is there for him instead of trying to walk out on him because it’s all it’s going to do is make the situation worse take it from someone whose father died three weeks before her husband walked out on her all I did was make me grieve for my and somebody who I loved.
Give him space.His emotions are all over the place.My SO step dad just passed away almost a month ago and its been hell.Some days hes okay and the next,its him just not talking.
Communicate. Ask him what you can do and what he needs to help him through this time. Sadly, today’s men have been brought up in a toxicly masculine manner where they’ve been made to believe that the only negative emotion it’s acceptable for them to feel is anger. Ask him if he needs space or affection to come to terms with what’s happening. Everyone reacts differently and needs different types of support when going through these things. He needs you right now, you just need to have a heart-to-heart with him and find out in which way he needs you. The drinking definitely won’t help because it heightens whatever emotion you’re feeling at the time. Just be honest and open with him about the way he’s made you feel but that you’re there for him and want to help him through this anyway he needs. It’s tough helping someone through something like this so make sure you make a little time for yourself to defuse and reset too.
Back off. My reaction years ago to bad news was to push my husband away … I totally get it -
Love him; let him know if he needs to talk or needs a hug - you are there! 
You don’t have to wind up doing anything to flirt sexually. He’s hurting… give him some loving kindness
Everyone reacts differently to grief. Cut him some slack; this is not about you.
Boundaries. It’s ok for him to feel all the feelings and struggle but he doesn’t get to treat you shitty bc he’s struggling. I think you may need to insist he gets care though. Grieving and depression is a bitch and I’m sorry he’s going through that.
He’s probably very overwhelmed by different emotions. Is unable to identify & explain it to himself or to you. When my mom went on hospice all I could do was cry. I had a toddler at the time & had to function for him but barely. He’s been hit with this Xs 2. Support him, don’t expect anything. He can’t expect anything from himself right now. Just be supportive.
His grieving.
Give him time.
Show him compassion tell him you’re there for him if or when he wants to talk about it.
His got to go through all the grieving motions.
He’s going to treat you the way you allow. Remember that.
Hospice is a hard concept to deal with. My best friend was placed on hospice after battling cancer for 3 years. I was his caregiver along with his wife for the 2 months he was on hospice. I gave him his end of life care when the time came. It was hard. It sucks knowing that someone’s time is near. He is grieving right now. Grief comes in stages. Anger denial acceptance etc. My best friend has be gone 3 months come the 17th and I still have my moments. Sometimes just being there for someone is all they need.
I understand everyone saying it’s “not about you” however, we all lose ppl, and I get that we tend to take things out on the ppl we love most, but he shouldn’t be being mean to you. Let him know that u are there to support him & be there for him emotionally, but you’re not a punching bag for him to take his anger out on. If he’s battling depression, perhaps he should seek therapy. Give him time & space to grieve, & be there for him to talk to, but don’t sacrifice your mental/emotionally health either.
Both of this man’s grandparents are on hospice. Im sure hes overwhelmed with emotion. This is not about you and pretty selfish you made it that way.
Grief presents itself in so many ways…give him time…it’s really not about you right now
He’s sad. Just be there for him 
I see a lot of codependency in this post. Why would you go out during this time? Then back down when he was upset? Let him grieve how he wants to grieve. This part of his life isn’t about you and stop trying to make it about you.
He’s upset about his grandparents. You know what hospice means right? You sound a little selfish. Let him have space and just be there for him
He’s depressed.It’s not about you.
He’s grieving. Just give him a little space right now and I’m sure things will get back to normal soon
There’s an awful lot of me me me in this and absolutely nothing about you supporting him. Back off. Break up with him. You aren’t equipped for the long haul of for better or worse.
Dude his grandparents were put on hospice and he struggles with depression. This is hard for him. Not everything is about you. Try to be there for him but if he doesnt want your comfort theres nothing you can do
Geez these comments… So I lost my grandparents who raised me back to back about the same time my husband came home from the military. I would drink alot, lash out, be angry and it ruined alot of our relationship in the beginning because he was trying so hard to be there for me. No doubt he’s probably feeling all of this but remind him your not a punching bag. That’s what my husband had to do with me because sometimes I would get so caught up in grief I didn’t realize how badly I was treating him. Let him know you are there for him, maybe make his favorite dinmer or dessert and do something nice for him. If he snaps or lashes out tell him you understand but he can’t treat you that way. You can help him grieve and still stay up for yourself.
Normally I would be on the side of the female in this situation but both of his grandparents are about to be dead and you’re worried because he isn’t acting normal ? You can’t be serious … Be there for him and allow him to have his process … I can tell you when I lost my dad I wasn’t the best girlfriend at the time … How you react to this is how he is going to view you from here on out … You’re digging yourself in a hole … Get over yourself
Most men are not taught how to deal with sadness they are told men don’t cry so they turn sadness to anger. If you love him give him time to cope let him you are there for him but being a jerk is unacceptable suggest counseling or getting on antidepressants although the wrong antidepressant can make things worse.
Have you ever lost a freaking grandparent? Jesus let him collect himself. This is NOT about you.
He is grieving the upcoming loss of his grandparents. You are being selfish
I know it’s hard, now is not the time to take anything personal. Things may be difficult for a while, maybe even a year. Everyones grief timeline is different. He was sexual with you earlier, and he did get up and was ok. Those are good signs, and you’ll need to cling to those little things as he goes through this. DO NOT make it about you to him. Go to people you love or strangers but do not go to him when you feel like his actions like this are because of you. They aren’t, and he doesn’t need to feel bad. You got this you can do this! Just be there for him, be supportive, be patient, be kind, be forgiving. His head is a whirlwind right now. He needs to know he doesn’t have to worry about you too. He needs to know he can grieve around you. He needs to know you’re a safe place for him.
It is not Always about You …he is hurting.
You are making it alllll about you.
his grandparents are dying and he is hurting it isn’t about you stop making this about you.
Way to make his impending loss all about you. Get over yourself and do what you have to do to be a good partner.
It’s not always about you, grow up
Wow! Why are you being selfish? Hus grandparents are dying and you’re wanting attention. That’s so sad.
A lot of people are calling you selfish and dramatic, when in all actuality you’re not. Clearly you’re asking for advice and wanting to know how to take it and what to do. As a spouse being married to someone that has lost 3 of his 4 grandparents, what he’s doing is unfair. Some men just don’t know how to deal with their emotions or how to process them, best advice is just talk to him and let him know that no matter what you’re there for him. Just be his rock and the stability he needs, because once they’re gone it’s going to get much worse.
I get that you’re confused. This is a tough time for him. When my mother was placed in hospice, my emotions and actions were all over the map… my poor husband and kids. And she just passed away September 2020. He’s probably doing his best to keep his mind off of it knowing what’s coming. And let me tell you, it’s going to be so hard. The only thing you can do is go with the flow. People handle these types of situations differently. Just be there. If he wants to get down and dirty with you, and you want to, then do it! If he changes his mind, cool. If he wants to drink and laugh, let him. If he wants to brood, let him. Don’t take it personal. However, when/If he starts disrespecting you, redirect him. Tell him, in your words, babe I’m not the enemy. I’m your support and I’ll be here for you, but I won’t let you or anyone else treat me like a punching bag. I love you and I’m here for you in whatever way you need me. Good luck, girl.
He is hurting. Wouldn’t you be?
You’re all about you, you, you. A little selfish are you. At least try to understand his feelings and cut the drama…now is not the time for all that immature stuff. Grow up and stand by your man but put him in check if he’s starting to take it out on you. Stand together 
Wow some of you broads on here 
It’s not ok for anyone to take grief out on loved ones. Just let him have his space and process whats going on. Covid restrictions are probably making the situation worse. I know I’d want to visit with my loved ones while they are getting ready for their next journey. I wouldn’t want for them to die alone.
Grow up and stop being selfish