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QUESTION:
"My boyfriend had just gotten sudden news of his grandparents both being placed on hospice. He has a very hard time managing depression as it is..and I can't help but feel like he doesn't want me here or around him..he's starting to be kind of mean to me when I haven't done anything too..and for instance I was gonna go out tonight because I thought he would sleep in from being down..well he got up and was in a good mood..drank a few beers and now he has a headache..after the fact I said I wasn't going to go out now…am I over thinking this?..just feel very unwanted..and he was sexual towards me before I made dinner but we didn't do anything…"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"I would just give it a little bit. He just got upsetting news about some family members & he already has depression to begin with. Give him time, he probably doesn’t intentionally mean to be like that but he’s just stressed out… and some people project on others. I would tell him you know things are happening that is hard for him…if he needs anything to let you know and ask him how you can help."
"Sit and talk with him about this. When I get in the dumps I want to be left alone"
"I have no idea what you are actually worried about but I must say communication is key to a healthy relationship and also take into consideration that if he is depressed sometimes it’s hard to process emotions it’s probably not you at all"
"He’s having a hard time right now, talk to him and ask if there’s anything you can do to help. Don’t take the attitude personally, he needs time and that may take a while cuz he’s about to lose two grandparents at once."
"Absolutely talk to him. He might be feeling giant emotions that are new and he’s having problems processing them. You don’t deserve to be treated badly, however he may be unaware how his actions are affecting you. Be his support."
"You won’t know unless you sit down and speak with him. Not everyone processes situations the same way, especially hard situations such as this. Before getting into your own head about things you should really speak to him."
"Seriously this is the time you make it about him. He needs understanding. I just lost one of my favorite uncles who was also in hospice. I’m probably not the happiest person to be around. Thank God my hubby is my hugest support when I need him. Take a step back and put yourself in his shoes."
"He might just need some time"
"You need to talk to him and tell him how you feel. Ask him if you can help him in anyway and let him know you are there for him whenever he is ready to talk or whenever he needs you. Everyone processes stuff like this differently. He may just need to be alone but not want you gone. When my dad passed 2 years ago I didn’t talk to anybody but my kids. I didn’t wanna be around anybody but them. I had a really rough time and still do sometimes but I’ve learnt ways to deal. Just be there to support him and be there for him."
"Talk to him and just let him know that you are there for him. Losing anyone that you love isn’t easy on anyone"
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