Am I selfish... should I just stay nannie?

I have 2 adult children.. my son married a single mum... they went on to have a baby, my first grandchild.. I had always had my heart set on being called Grandma like my sisters, but daughter in laws mum was already Grandma to the grand kids.... and as my life was a bit of a mess at the time... recent ( fingers crossed) survivor of breast cancer... and on the verge of losing my mum... I just went with being called nannie .. grandbaby boy is now almost 10... co parenting arrangement as they split up before he was 3... now my daughter is expecting her 1st baby... ( after much heartache) ... I thought this may be my chance to be a grandma... but 1st I broached the subject with my grandson ... slowly & gently ... and he at 9yrs old spun me out with the ideal solution... nannie to him for 9yrs... wanting to be grandma... he suggested grandma nannie.... it was so perfect as my daughters mil also plans to be grandma.... anyway... my son has gone off big time... said I was selfish... how dare I put what I want first... & to top it off... he has stopped speaking to me.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I selfish... should I just stay nannie? - Mamas Uncut

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We called each Grandparent by Grandma/Grandpa and their name (either first or last name)

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There is nothing wrong with both grandmas being called grandma. Your son handled the situation wrong. But is it really that big of a deal that you have to make your grandson call you something different than what he’s called you for 10 years? You’ve let him call you that for 10 years but now another grandchild is on the way and all the sudden you want to change it for her. I can see why your son is upset by it. Overreacted, but still right to be upset.

My niece and nephew have nana and nana bumpy

I’ve never understood families that require specific titles for grandparents lol how silly

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My mom just let the kids call her what they have wanted as they grew up. Nobody made a fuss.

There is 8 of them.

The 3 of my own call her different names.

My oldest calls her “nan”
My middle calls her “nana”
My youngest calls her nanny.

The others call her grandma, nana Michelle

I would just leave it be. Kids sometimes even comes up with their own names for grandparents…

My oldest has a nana, a memaw, a grandma, a grandma bk, a grandma Becker, and a grandma bonnie. She came up with all of it…we just let her be. She is now a teenager and has called them this since she was younger.

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Yes that child is use too the original name he learned over the 10years,
My mom is; Nana
My grandma is; Gigi
My stepfather my dad is in heaven. Is (pop-pop)
An my man’s
Mom is; Grammy
An her mom is; nan

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This is so odd. I call all my grandma’s grandma and so do my kids. Only when I’m talking about them do I specify which by saying grandma so and so.

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I mean I asked my parents what they wanted to be called :man_shrugging: my mum was grandma and my dad is pa

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Why is this an issue? Lol both can be called Grandma. The only reason I had a Grandma and a Nonna was because one was Italian. My Mom and nephew’s other grandmother are both called Grandma

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Kind of a weird thing to stop speaking to someone over. Is there more to the story?

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Just to make you feel better I always wanted to be called “Gigi”, my mom was Nannie to all her grandchildren. I had to fight for the title. I choose to let my daughter choose what my grandchildren call me. I am now Mimi, it’s only a name. Don’t sweat the small stuff embrace the title. That’s all that matters. They will love you no matter your name .

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Definitely shining a light on why you son’s wife probably left him :joy:

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I can’t believe this is really that big of a deal

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You’re called whatever the babies call you. You don’t get a choice in my opinion

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Geez oh mighty, what is wrong with more than one “Grandma” being called Grandma? Your son sounds like a selfish jerk. Just tell your daughter you would like to be called Grandma “ “.

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Ummm… you are the child’s “grandma”, so is she, so you both can be called that. My kids call all their grandparents grandma/grandpa. I’m extremely baffled by this. Is this a cultural thing I don’t understand? If your child had sisters (their siblings), could their kids only call one of them aunt, or would one have to be auntie? Odd.

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My kids call their grandmothers’ grandma and when they are telling a story or something they say “grandma Beth or grandma Jane” so we know which grandma they are talking about

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I had 3 Poppops. I called each one Poppop “_______” still do. To them I don’t need to unless another is around. My brother and all of my cousins did the same and still do. My children have my dad as Poppop. They also have Poppop Kenny in heaven. Two Great Poppops still here with us ( 2 of mine) There’s never been an issue or any confusion. For my kids they call my Mommom (their great Mommom) just Mommom and their dad’s mom is Mommom Barb but to her face they only need to say Mommom.

Why can you both not be grandma? Simple solution.

I called grandparents (both sets) grandma and grandpa. But also had my dad’s side preferred to be called NaNaw and Papaw. So whatever works. Grandma Nannie seem cute. I don’t see a problem and works for both kids. You get called Grandma, the first grandkid gets to keep the familiarity of Nannie and baby has something to call you as well…Win/win

My grandkids have grandma Kathy & Grandma Linda - nothing wrong with 2 grandmas

Um, I have 5 sets of grandparents and they’re all grandma and grandpa. Why do they need different titles? It’s not like the child isn’t going yo be aware that they’re different people. I think the son is being ridiculous.

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My mom is literally called something different by almost all of her grandchildren. And she has A LOT! If you want to be called something then refer to yourself as that! They will only repeat what they hear. As for your oldest grandchild, they may be stuck calling you Nannie because it has become habit but that doesn’t mean one of them won’t call out grandma! My mom has a grandchild that is very close in age to me, (he’s my nephew) and he calls my mom, maw maw. But she is also called, GG and MoMo by other grandchildren. Nobody made it that way, that’s just how it is.

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My MIL wanted to be called memaw my daughter chose Grammy and she was perfectly fine with that because it doesn’t matter what they call you just know they love you

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I have a blended family. Our kids call my mom and dad grandma and grandpa they call my husband parents grandma pat and grandpa Chuck and my kids from Mt 1st marriage call my ex mom granny. It’s more selfish on his part. If the children are OK with calling you that, then it shouldn’t be a issue.

It’s silly to put so much on what a grandchild calls one. Who cares as long as it’s what the child wants. Shouldn’t matter if fifteen are called the same name as long as the love is there

Petty, childish and ridiculous. No reason you both couldn’t be grandma. :roll_eyes:

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Whatever the heck the kids want to call you imo

We have grandma and grannie in our house and we have granddad, grandpa G, and Papa Bill. That way they all hold a specific title and it’s not too confusing for us of the kiddos to differentiate

Ummm… smh ur son is Being a drama king :crown:,.
It’s our right as grandparents to be called what we want… not to mention the grandson came up with the right name!! How does he feel about it?? And it affects him not your son, your son still gonna be calling you mom. I wanted to be grannie… lol :joy: like the Beverly hillbillies :woman_shrugging:t2::woman_facepalming:t2: but I’m grammie :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: how I have no idea … but it sounds so sweet coming out of thier little mouths :relaxed: 9y,6,3y

It does make it easier to distinguish simply by just when your talking about them but if you want to be called Grandma why not! That certainly isn’t a reason to stop being talked too. I do also love Grandma Nannie that is super cute!!

My kids call the following -

My dad- Grandpa
My husband dad-pops
My mom-Oma
My husband mom- Grandma
My Grandma(their great grandma)- Grammi
My Grandpa(their great grandpa)-Papa

I had a Nana :sparkling_heart:
I love being called…
Nan
Nanny
Nana
Grandma makes me feel old :rofl::rofl:

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Your son went off on you over wanting to be called Grandma? Either your leaving some of the story out or you didn’t spank him enough as a child…

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This is so petty and childish. Wow. A name? Really? There are kids who don’t have a single grandparent to call anything… be lucky they have you and call you something. My niece used to call her granny “goggo”. African word for Grandmother so that they don’t get confused between the grandparents.

When I had my kids both my parents and inlaws wanted to be Nanny and Poppy so my parents are just Nanny and Poppy, my inlaws last name starts with B, so they are Nanny B and Poppy B

I called one grandma, grams. One nana. One grandma ( last name ) and one Nan.

I wanted my first grandchild to call me Grammy but she had other plans, she calls me NayNay. She will be 9 in June. And now I have a grandson and he is 8 months old. And he will also call me NayNay. I love it

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That literally makes no sense. Are you sure there wasn’t another reason?

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My 10 year old calls both grandmas grandma, she calls my dad papi (he’s been her father figure) and her dad’s dad grandpa. Kids will know how to differentiate both grandmas even if they’re both called grandma.

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I want my moko’s to call me mama not nan nanny or grandma :flushed::laughing:

That’s weird. My son has two pop pops and two paw paws. And he has two gigis. There is no reason you couldn’t have been called that

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omg something isn’t quite right here

Many times it is what the child can say. Or what they hear. My husband is grandpa to one daughter’s children. Other daughter’s twins always call him Bapa. He answers to anything.
Same kids call me various names.
Maaammmma
May-ma
Nama,
dam-ma
Gramma
The love in their eyes and the up-reached arms mean more than a name.

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My 2 year old daughter calls me by name and she call my mum mama​:joy::joy:… you are not selfish at all, I remind her always that i am mama, then my mum is grandma.

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We had Nana Net (MIL) and Nana Mandy. Both of us had child coming into the relationship who were used to calling them Nana. I think it was a brilliant idea to incorporate both and your son can learn to live with it. It doesn’t change his title to the children.

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My mom is grandma my X’s mom grandma my boyfriend’s mom nana my dad papa x’s dad grandpa boyfriend s dad papa I don’t think it matters as long as you have a relationship with them

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Your son is.a.jerk for.this. and doing the most. What an.extremely childish and petty narcissistic “father” wow I’m sorry

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wth, hes being very selfish. you.are a person and can be called whatever you prefer. kids have to sets of grandparents. my kids call bother their grandmas, grandma

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Honestly with my daughter we let her pick their names. Her Daddy’s dad is pop pop he really wanted to be grandpa but she only calls him pop pop. His mom is Gaga and my child made them both up. They both accept it. We’ve tried saying grandpa instead and my child has no idea who we are talking about.

Our rule was always it’s what the grandparents wanted to be called, within reason.

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All of this :roll_eyes::roll_eyes: my daughter has 2 nannys. It’s not a big deal. And when my mum talk to my daughter she calls them her grannies… I call myself aunty Amy but my neice and nephew call me teta (Macedonian)…

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I don’t see why he can’t call both of you grandma. I called both of my grandmas by “grandma”. But when we’d talk about them, we’d refer to them as Grandma B or Grandma D, so everyone knew which grandma we were talking about.

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Wtf? What’s the problem with you ALL being called grandma? I had like 6 grandmas that I called grandma. (step parents and step grand parents and so forth) if your a grandma, why can’t the grandkids CALL YOU GRANDMA?!

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You are the grandma regardless of what they actually call you. My daughter was the first grandchild. We figured she’d call my dad Grandpa as he was the only one between our two sides. She called him Papa. Now both of my kids use both Papa and Grandpa interchangeably.
My MIL got married when my daughter was 1. Her husband insisted on being called Opa. In our home we referred to him as Bob or Grandpa Bob, so naturally our kids called him that.
Let the kids call you whatever they want. Trust me, it’ll mean so much more down the road when someone has the origin story of how you became Nannie instead of Grandma.

Honestly kids aren’t dumb, I don’t get why people have to come up with multiple names for the title like the children won’t realize they have multiple, never caused any confusion for me, you all sound petty and childish

We have two grandma’s. I don’t see the big deal.

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Does it matter what they call you. Can’t believe you can’t go with grandma. What a pathetic thing to stop talking with your son over.

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Grandma nannie is so cute! I’d go with that!

My kids have a great nana, a nanna, a grandma, a oma, a poppy, a poppy John and a grandpa Pete (plus my eldest also has a set of grandparents that don’t bother with her). I think go with what you want, especially if your grandson wants to call you grandma nannie

My one daughter tells her son we going to grandma Tabitha house our grandma Wanda my other daughter just calls us grandma to her son…so be called grandma

You can be grandma too! My kids have two papas and they don’t get them mixed up. I think grandparents should get to choose what they want to be called.

My daughter calls my step mom grandma
And when we talk about my mom ( she passed away) they call my mom grandma Nana.

My kids call all their grandmas grandma even their great grandma. No one in my family complains.

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Why would they get mad over that, many young ones call older people grandma, or names of endearment. My kids call a lady Auntie and we’re not blood related. You’re not being selfish.

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All parents should be able to decide. My kids had a Grandma Kile and A Grandma Dorothy. Do not understand… Grandma is a title not a name. Nanny is a babysitter who lives in the home. Could be a nick name but Grand Ma… ie Mom… is the proper title.

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My mom wanted to be called something other than grandma my niece said nene … so that’s what she is. My husbands grandmas were always just gram but my kids call his grandma meme … I call my grandma gram (I only have one grandma living) it’s pretty normal to have several grandmas in a child’s life

My kids call there grandma’s “grandma Laura” (they don’t know her so they don’t have a special name for her) “Nemo” (my son couldn’t say me-maw at first lol) and “GG”. Kids pick names for u based off of what you want too be called. Your choice.

You and your son quit talking over a name?? Y’all have more problems than us FB doctors can handle 🤦🙄

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My grandkids are little but my granddaughter i tell her I’m MiMi and her other grandma is abuela but my daughter calls us both grandma to her which i don’t mind and when she is older she will call me whatever she wants she says Mimi and grandma to me . The name doesn’t matter the time I get to spend with them and the memories do :woman_shrugging:

I get now why Indian ppl have specific names for every relative. :thinking:. Less complications.

Dad’s mum = Aajee or Dhadhi

Mom’s mom = Nani

I don’t get why it’s an issue what you’re called. A gran is a gran. Just love them. Shakespeare himself said, “a rose by any other name will still smell as sweet.”

I called both my grandma grandma secor grandma cherry their last names

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Your son is out of line. But it’s just a word. They know you’re their grandma. Grandmas go by lots of words. He should let those kids call you anything they wish- nana nannie mamaw, glamma, granny whatever- he should not interfere. But dear- it’s only a word. Whatever they choose to call you, accept it, smile and move on

In my situation my kids picked what they wanted to call my mom and it morphed as they got older. My oldest went through phases trying out things she heard … " gam, gammy, G, G’mah… shes about to be 9 and its Gammee or Grammee. Let them call you what they love to call you… for the new baby that is YOUR relationship you can encourage what you want to be called BUT eventually the baby will call you what they want.

I mean what is wrong with both of you ladies being called Grandma??? And Nannie isn’t a bad thing. My kids call their paternal grandmother Mama Lupe, they don’t call her grandma.

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Try going with gran gran that’s what my kids call my mom and then my husband’s mom is nanny or nana

My mom was Granny or Gran to all of the grandkids, except for my 2 youngest. My middle son couldn’t say Granny so he said NeeNee, and it stuck. When I had my youngest, he also called her NeeNee. It’s okay for different kids to call you by a different name.

I’d still choose to be called Grandma! They will know the difference from early on. Not saying you should and its not the same name, but my oldest daughter has 2 Nana’s. My mom had already been going by Nana due to having grandkids prior to me having a baby. So the dad’s mom chose Nana K (k for her name)… either way, stick to what you’ve always wanted to be called. I wanna be called Grandma too because I love my grandma sooooo much so I won’t let anybody get in my way when the day comes!! :rofl::heart:

My son calls one grandma Korean Grandma and the other one ( Latina) La Grandma. But that has only been recently (he’s 17). For 14 years they were BOTH just Grandma.

My daughter has 2 Mawmaw’s, 2 Pawpaw’s, a grandma, a Nanny, a Memaw & a Nina.
Also, most kids come up with their own names lol. My mom wanted to be called Nana. My daughter started calling her Nina for some reason & it stuck. :woman_shrugging:t2: I’d tell your son to suck it up. It’s childish to stop talking over a name. It’s not up to him or you really. It all depends on what the kids start calling you.

You can still be a grandma even if the other grandparent is a grandma too. Babies will grow and learn who is who despite the same name. . My mil has done this, she’s nanna to her step sons kids but grandma to mine and I fear it’ll just cause a division between the grandkids when they’re all under the same roof and feel it’s not fair but it’s not my business to say anything. . If your grandson is cool with grandma nannie then go with it :raised_hands:

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My grandkids call me, my mom and thier dads mom grandma. I never got what the big deal is.

Why can’t both grandparents be grandma? My son in laws mom is grandma and so am but that’s not the current issue. I’m not sure why your son got so upset but it’s really your choice and I don’t see the big deal.

You Are a Grandma. Does it matter what they call you. They say it with Love. I don’t think telling the kids to change it would be beneficial to them. It’s confusing. I am Nanny to one granddaughter and Nana to the other. I love it. They call the other ones Grandma. Which is fine. I feel special because they chose something special of their own to name me. My MIL is Mawmaw and GG. I think the children should choose honestly. But , I also don’t think it’s something worth losing your loved ones over. God bless.

My son’s paternal Grandma let the kids call her whatever they did as babies. So she is a Munya, a Meema, & Grandma. My Mom preferred to be called Grandma so she just corrected all the kids until they said it. I think it is really cute, & kinda of special that my son’s other Grandma has all these names…She still is Grandma & nothing can change that.

Also… I had literally all my grandparents and great grandparents during my childhood (yes I was so blessed I loved it!) Only had one “Grandma”, one “Grandmother”, “gran”, “memaw”, BUT we had tons of “mawmaws” we would just say Mawmaw then their last name… like “mawmaw Smith”… I hope it all works out for you one day.

Both my grandparents are grandma/ pa for all grandchildren

Over a name? Really?

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My Mum is Grandma to my brothers boys and Nanny to my girls and my other siblings kids call her Nanny. And her number plate is Grannan :grin: And YOU GET TO DECIDE WHAT YOU ARE CALLED. How in the actual heck is that selfish? NONE of the 9 nearly 10 grandkids get confused. 8 of them are under 10 and under.

You son is being ridiculous

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All my gparents were grandma & grandpa

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Why does a name matter that much? More than being in their lives?

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You can be whatever you want to be called! Anything the kids choose to call me will be special!

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Most people have two grandmas. The different name thing is just a modern day ordeal and usually because the grandparents themselves wanted something different or unique

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My kids call their grams with their first name. Grandma Beth, Grandma Joyce, grandma Rita, etc

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Some of my kids call my mom gram and one of my sons call her her ma my granddaughter calls me Grammy and my grandson can’t talk yet but what ever he calls me is fine sometimes the kid makes the choose from a young age what they want to u call u

I had a gram and a gramie and a nana. Doesn’t matter what you are called. Usually the child chooses

Our term for grandma’s in my family is Mamaw/Memaw and Papaw for grandpas. The kids usually catch on to the term used by parents or grandparents so if you call yourself grandma you are grandma LOL

Umm, why can’t you both be called grandma? :woman_shrugging:

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Does it matter? Your entitled to be called “grandma “ or whatever u wanna be

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That sounds like a great name and u can have two grandmas and just add some fun to the end to tell apart which one they are talking about. It shouldn’t even be argument worthy.