Am I selfish to not want to breastfeed?

Am I a selfish mom for only breast feeding my son for a little over a month?.. I was doing so good but with the stress of him being born early.Being in the nicu for a month a city awake from me. My supply dropped to practically nothing. I wasn’t able to eat I caved and started smoking again((not cigarettes)). So I stopped breast feeding. I really wanted to as long as I could but I was in such a bad mental state with everything going on it took a toll on me. I constantly feel so guilty for it.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I selfish to not want to breastfeed?

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Not selfish. I couldn’t get into it with my first two. I tried but I just… didn’t feel the same as people said I should. I didn’t like it, I didn’t want to do it… and my kids are completely fine.

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Nope not at all… fed is best

Formula is food too. I have 5 kids, I breastfed the 2nd one and 4th one.I breastfed my 3rd for a few weeks but she never got full so I had no choice really

You are definitely not a bad mom breastfeeding isn’t for every woman I tried with both my daughters and it just didn’t work out the formula worked just fine and other people could feed them too

Your mental health is what is most important.

Do what’s right for you… don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You’re not being selfish

Heck no! Fed is best.

People will make you feel bad, but don’t. Your baby will eat either way.

No it’s your choice. Just make sure if you do bottle to hold baby skin to skin. Do not just poke the bottle in its mouth and leave it alone. You need to bond to have a successful and nurtured child.

Fed is best. Doesn’t matter how they are fed.

Not selfish at all ! It’s not for everyone …:heart:

Not at all! Don’t feel guilty, you still have to take care of you. :heart:

No, you’re not. As long as the kid is fed and healthy!

You’re not selfish at all. I didn’t even try it I just didn’t want too. Might sound horrible but everyone is allowed to have their own feelings and opinions

How you fed your child dosnt make you a bad mom
As long as your child has a full belly and lots of love
Your doing a wonderful job :heart:

All I read is the topic line. As a mother who breastfeed her son past 2 I will say NO you are not selfish. Not in the least bit. If you are feeding your child that is all that matters.

A month is better than nothing. If you aren’t well then you have to take care of you in order to take care of your child

Fed is best! Whatever YOU wanna do and don’t feel shame.

You got this momma. Fed is best period. You owe nobody any explanation. I couldn’t even try with my second my iron was 5.7 and not climbing. I was even shamed at the hospital after having a emergency c section and 58 staples from button to pelvis. You do you momma.

Nope. If your mental health is going to suffer, don’t. You are important too. You made it a month! Great job. Signed- a mom who breastfed two kids until age 2, and worked full time with my 3rd and only made it a year. That shit is hard.

Not selfish. Your mental health is priority cause if you’re struggling mentally it’s not fair to the baby nor yourself. Happy healthy mom equals happy healthy baby

Hun you are not selfish at all. With my daughter I could breastfeed then with my son I tried and it lasted only a few hours before I broke down and asked for formula for him. I was bleeding uncontrollable and mentally exhausted from a horrible labor. Fed is best!

Not at all!! You did it for a month and at least tried!!! It’s worse when women won’t even try and babies don’t get colostrum or any of those good nutrients. If you want to be done then be done and be proud!

Not at all, I only breastfed my daughter for a month and switched to formula because she wouldn’t latch and pumping was too stressful for me. I am breastfeeding my boy for 2 months now but I had formula bought before he was born and was so certain I’d formula feed again but he latched and fed so perfect when he was born I decided to give it another go.

It doesn’t work for everybody, don’t feel guilty.

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Not at all!!! Not all moms breastfeed and it’s perfectly fine , the important thing is to feed your baby , not matter is you bottle or breastfeed , your son is going to be perfectly fine

Idk if it’s selfish, it’s supposed to b better 4 your babies longterm health, but really only u know your body n ur baby. Please do what’s in ur heart and everything else will fall into place❤️

Dont let no one make you feel guilty for it… mental health is important and formula works just as good.

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No you’re not selfish. I chose to not breastfeed both of my kids and they turned out perfectly fine.

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Breast is not best if it comes at the cost of momma’s mental health. That’s why formula was invented, to provide a safe and healthy alternative when BF doesn’t work.

You have nothing to feel guilty about, you have been through the wringer already, no need to sign yourself up for extra spins okay?

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Not selfish at all, I stopped after a month too. It’s very draining and frustrating especially when some of us just can’t produce much

My son was in the nicu as well. I started out really good ! Only pumping bc he was still tube fed. Between him in the hospital and worried ab my other son and my husband having to go back to work and on top of no sleep or eating I went from pumping full bottles to one morning I got up and nothing! Remember momma you are stressed and exhausted! Fed is best!

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Not if you are smoking uck

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Don’t feel bad baby. You did good by breastfeeding the 1st month. He’ll do great on formula

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What matters is baby is fed, not how.
:heart:

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No. Fed is best and you don’t owe anyone explanations. Do what’s best for your household and mental state.

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Yes. It’s not worth perseverating on.

:stop_sign: STOP MOM SHAMING YOURSELF​:stop_sign:

My son was 6.5 weeks premature and spent 2 weeks in the NICU.

I tried to breastfeed and made it just over 4 weeks.

My son was tube fed at first and then bottle fed my breast milk. Unfortunately, pumping rather than breast feeding caused my milk to dry up very quickly. My son also was never able to latch properly because he was so used to the bottle nipple.

It happens. Your baby will be fine either way!! I promise.

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No you’re not selfish. You do what feels right to you. You’re no less of a mom if you formula feed. Baby is fed that’s all that matters.

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Fed is best mama :kissing_heart::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:not selfish at all. I switched to formula as well after only 2 weeks. It was taking a toll on my mental health. Breast feeding is not for everyone. Don’t feel guilty! Your baby will be just fine!

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Oh Mama, it’s so hard. We have so many people telling us what is right and wrong. But what is best for your mental health is ALWAYS, Ima say it again, ALWAYS what is best for that baby.

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Fed baby is most important
And ur mental health is heaps important 2

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Is your baby fed?.. yes… then your fine. It doesn’t matter if it’s breastfeeding or formula feeding the goal is to have a baby well fed and not hungry. Both those options are great and work for different people

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Look hun as long as your baby is being feed.

No. Don’t feel bad about it. My son was in NICU for the first 3 months of his life and due to the stress my supply dropped to nothing by 8 weeks, I wasn’t given support to breastfeed and pumping didn’t do it for me. As long as baby is fed that’s all that matters, the mum guilt is so real though so go easy on yourself.

Definitely not, I never breastfed my 2 kids from day 1, formula from day 1, no it’s not selfish, you can see hoe much they are drinking to make sure they are having enough, the kids dad got to bond by giving them a bottle, they were always full, happy and healthy, I’m so sick of the debate between breastfed and formula fed, it’s got nothing to do with personal opinions, it’s all about looking after your child and making sure they have full tummies, no matter how that happens FED IS BEST !!

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My twins were in NICU I was so sick they were 14w early an we did donated milk it was amazing

I never breastfed and idc what people say or think. You do what’s best for you and your baby.

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fed is best. feed your baby however you see fit, breastfeed, formula feed. Whatever works for you.
Baby needs to be fed
Mama needs to be mentally well. Your mental health matters much more than HOW you choose to feed your baby :purple_heart::purple_heart::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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You are selfish. Breastfeeding is not for all of us. I found it horrible, unnecessary practically and medically.

Do not beat yourself up. Many of us don’t jump on the breastfeeding hysteria that borders conspiracy/cult behavior.

Enjoy your baby, feed you baby what is best for you, and do not pay attention to anyone that says otherwise.

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I had a preemie also. The only one I didn’t breastfeed. Don’t beat yourself up about it. What happened isn’t your fault. Back in 1961 when I had my preemie the doctors didn’t ask me if I planned to breastfeed. I guess I was in the minority of mothers at that time. My preemie will be 61 in December. She is fine.

Sweetheart, you do what works best for you and bub.

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You gave him exactly what he needed even if it was for a month. Great job mama. You do what you need to to make sure you are careed for too :purple_heart: I’m proud of you.

I breastfeed my 1st for 4 months and my 3rd for 1 month. I know the feeling but as long as baby is eating is what matters. My 2nd and 4th baby I went straight to formula bc that’s what works for me. Baby #5 will be formula fed as well. I just can’t eat properly to make enough milk. I gave my 3rd breast milk induced jaundice. So I admire the woman that do breastfeed but formula is best for me and my baby’s.

I only managed a week, and even that was supplemented with formula. My girl is close to 8 months now and is THRIVING. Happy, healthy, and meeting or exceeding all her expected milestones. She’s also just as bonded to me as she would be if she were breastfeeding.
Your mental health is extremely important, especially now. Your baby needs you to be as well as you can be; that takes priority.

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Don’t u dare feel bad or guilty all that matters is baby is fed. Period

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Did you feed your kiddo a good source?!? Yes? Then you’re good!

Nope I bottle feed all 3 of mine

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DON’T feel guilty…FED is BEST!!

Fed is best you have nothing to feel guilty about I was only able to feed my youngest for 6 weeks he is 18 now and completely healthy.

Didn’t breastfeed with my first 2. Then had surprise twins at 40. NO way I was goIng to do it then. I also took ZERO [email protected] from anyone that tried to shame me. It’s incomprehensible that one woman would shame another because they don’t want to breastfeed. Is it good for babies? Yes. Does it make a breastfeeding mother better than a mother that chooses not to? Absolutely not. My mother was amazing (still is at 81) and I wasn’t breastfed. My husband either. Mothers should be allowed to choose what is best for them and their unique circumstances. NO ONE has the right to shame/guilt you into doing something you don’t want to do. Don’t let them! Breast milk is best. We all know that. That said it’s not the only option for new moms. I was a pediatric RN. Sometimes I floated to the postpartum floor. Doctors knew better than to call me in to help new moms having trouble with breastfeeding because I couldn’t help them. I knew nothing!:joy:They did call me in to talk to moms that felt guilty/pressured because they didn’t want to breastfeed. In no way did I discourage them from trying. I told them that choosing not to breastfeed did not make them a bad mom. They weren’t selfish, flawed or less than. As new moms they needed to embrace what worked FOR THEM and not feel guilty. That’s what you need to do! Once you decide what you’re going to do be at peace with your decision. Don’t second guess yourself. Don’t let the expectations and beliefs of others weigh you down. Enjoy your new baby!Congratulations!!:heart:

It’s ok momma you are doing the best you can. He got the most important part in the first bit of feedings so that’s good too. Don’t be to hard on yourself. Not a single one of our mommy journeys are the same. Do what works best for you and baby

That’s why they made formula! You are not the only mom to not want to breastfeed lol I did both my first for the first month and then I quit! Do you mama!! :purple_heart::purple_heart:

As moms and women in general, we guilt ourselves when we should be celebrating your decision to do what’s best for you. Your choice will make you a better mom and person. Not everyone should breastfeed and that’s ok. Enjoy your little miracle and don’t be so hard on yourself.

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All my babies have been formula feed nothing wrong with that my friend is only pumping and putting it in a bottle

FED IS BEST. However that baby is being fed is irrelevant (weather breastfed or formula-fed), as long he is being fed & mama is in a healthier state of mind, then so be it! Take care of yourself, try to make peace with it and not to feel guilty about it, or like you’ve failed him, and remind yourself “he’s fed, that’s what matters, I AM A GOOD MOM” Give yourself a pep talk if need be. If YOU are happy & taking care of yourself/your baby, then your baby will be happy as well.

The fact that it even weighs heavily on your mind like this proves that you’re a great mom and you want what’s best for your little one. Don’t be discouraged bc your plan to BF didn’t work out. Hang in there mama, you’re doing great!:heart:

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Nope! Hated it! I have 3…never did with any of them! They are all grown and doing just fine!!

Don’t feel guilty as long as baby is being fed it doesn’t matter how I bottle fed all 4 of my children

Fed is fed. It doesn’t matter from a beast or a bottle.

Fed is best hun n you also need to take care of yourself a happy mama makes for a happy baby

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Nope. As long as he eats

Don’t feel guilty. You’re protecting your child by stopping. Whatever you put in your body (alcohol, tobacco, “others”) you also put into the baby’s body. If you’re in a bad way, like I said, you’re protecting your child.

I would also suggest checking out some therapy, you’ve been through a lot in a short time, having a baby is life changing and having a premature baby is stressful. A therapist may be able to help! Good luck! It may not seem like it, but you’re killin the mom job! :heartbeat:

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Fed is best dont trip chocolate chip my daughter only got 10 days plus formula.

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Girl you did what was best for you and baby. The fact that you feel guilty shows your a great mom.

My oldest I didn’t at all My second I only did for 3 months alot was going and I was super stressed really struggled to produce gave up but she is fine my younger 2 I fed for 2 years each but don’t feel guilty you have your own reasons my oldest I was in school and working it was super hard to even think about pumping and me being 16 had a lot on my plate and second was going throu a separation with her dad and also moved out of state and had a toddler on top of it all so I just couldn’t keep up at all I felt guilty at first but over time realized it was the best for me and her

As long as your baby is fed then you are not a bad Mom whether it’s breast milk or formula

Wow! So many proud, militant bottle feeders! Well I am going to do the opposite! I am proud to have breast fed all five of my children! None of them ever had a drop of formula! They went from breast milk to cows milk around a year old. I saw my sister bottle feeding her first baby and with all the sterilisation of everything and having to heat up the bottle when out it convinced me not to ever start that. Breast feeding is so much more convenient! So you lot feel free to be proud of what you did, but I will continue to be proud of what I did!

No. You’re not !
You and your baby are the only people who matter when it comes to this. Fed is fed. What’s best for one person isn’t best for another ! Period.

I didn’t even bother trying. My kids are alive and well. It’s your life and your choice. You did it as long as you could…. Just like you set out to.

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Your fine. I didn’t with all 3 of mine. It was a personal choice for personal reasons. My kids turned out fine.

Your mental health is SO important. Think about airplanes. They tell you in an emergency to put your air mask on first bc you can’t help anyone else if you pass out. same logic applies here,Mama!

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Don’t ever feel guilty. You have to take care of yourself too

Do you and just be a good mom

You’re absolutely not being selfish. You went through a lot with a NICU stay and all the hormone shifts. Whatever keeps you going for your baby is all the matters. I only made it a month after my daughter was born with attempting to breastfeed after she was born a month early due to pre-eclampsia. I never produced enough no matter what I did. Once she was sleeping through the night I started treating my ovarian cancer with THC again

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Pitiful excuse if you can’t stay away from the drugs the child deserves better

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Don’t feel guilty. You don’t have to breastfeed if you don’t want to. There’s nothing wrong with it.

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Follow your heart what’s best for you and baby good luck with your choice

As long as your baby is fed. No one needs to judge you and no one deserves too. I’ve gone thru this struggle 2 times with my boys being NICU babies. Keep your head up and keep being a good momma

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Nah. you’re good. While there’s lots of benefits to breastmilk, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with formula. Fed is best :heart:

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You could always do both , have bottle top ups after both sides

I had nicu twins than had a ovary removed a couple weeks later I pumped until my boobs ran dry than had no choice to transition. Never feel bad

Don’t feel guilty. Be super proud for even trying !

No you’re not selfish you tried your best.

As long as your child is fed and we’ll taken care of don’t feel guilty. Everyone’s just trying their best.

Fed is best, Mama :heart:

Day 2 of my son being born and I already gave up​:joy: it works for some and it don’t for others. Medically or mentally or by choice it’s okay! Fed is what is truly best :heart::heart: Don’t feel guilty but proud you made it a month!

No, not selfish. Do what’s best for you. I definitely wouldn’t advise breastfeeding if your taking substances though, whatever they are, it’s none of my business, but remember, what goes in your body (alcohol, drugs etc) goes into your baby’s body via your milk

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It is NO ONE’S business whether you want to breast feed or not. Only yours.

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Your baby will prosper most from a calm loving mom. Hold the little one close so he/she can hear/ feel your heart while you feed. Even breast milk can cause gi distress if mom is too upset.babies can do just fine on formula.

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