Am I the problem like my boyfriend says, or I am manipulated and treated like crap by a narcissist

Back story. Me and my boyfriend have been together for over 7 year. We have a toddler together and another on the way. And he is constantly complaining that I nag on him and he can’t stand me, and has left probably 10 times over the years but I always let him come back. I try and talk things out with him and he always tells me to get away and I always do, but I feel hurt and betrayed he won’t talk to me and actually try and fix things. He yells and isn’t physically aggressive but is mentally and emotionally draining. I feel like he is sucking the life out of me and my kids. I work, and am the only caring for our child, and the house and our daily lives, and he DOES NOTHING. And I am always the bad guy. I just feel like I am at a loss. Do I keep trying? Am I the problem? Am I nagging him to much to help me? It doesn’t help that my parents are always having to save the day when he vanishes, and his parents think im the devil. What do I do?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I the problem like my boyfriend says, or I am manipulated and treated like crap by a narcissist

Leave him and find better. This has been going on for years obviously he’s not gonna change anytime soon.

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Girl leave. You can do so much better than someone who’s mentally and emotionally abusive like that. You’ve let it go for too long.

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If his parents thinks your the problem then I would leave. He is not telling them the truth of what you say is. Then he has not realized the issues that he has every one has issues but if he won’t acknowledge them then there is nothing to work on in his eyes. And it won’t change. It sucks that you have to do it pretty much alone mentally. And be happy you have your parents they seem like a great support. Lean on them get on your feet and find someone who wants to help you raise the kids and love you.

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Doesn’t matter because this is an unhealthy relationship. Cut him off. Figure out a schedule for the shared child and move on. I bet there may be a problem on both sides but since you’re the only one questioning yourself and he thinks he does no wrong then there’s nothing you can do but let him go. Also don’t go for someone better. These people are master manipulators and can make you think you’ve found better but because you haven’t realized your worth you’ll end up in a similar situation. Just have fun. Live your life and take care of your wonderful child.

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Absolutely men like that suck the life right out of you!
You are definitely the problem for ALWAYS letting him come back.
Let him leave, change the locks, file for support and get yr life on track! And then after you and yr kids are on yr feet and happy, then you can think of a new man. But until then, you are enabling him.
Not a good example for your kids :sob:
Best of luck ~

He is definitely narcissist

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If you think he’s a narcissist chances are he is. It’s too late now but too bad you didn’t leave before another was on the way. Although if you leave you will be entitled to child support. If you think he’s verbally abusive now it will only get worse. What with another child in the picture he will only do less and become far more frustrated. Do you really want to raise your children in an aggressive environment? Maybe you can rely on friends or parents to temporarily move in with until you get settled. It seems that situations such as yours are happening far more too often. So sorry to hear about your plight, I wish you the best.

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You deserve so much better leave or get him out permanently

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I read this exact same post couple days afo

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Leave. It’s scary stepping out there and moving on but you will look back and think why did I wait so long. Be done with the narcissist.

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Don’t worry about what his parents think. They raised him to treat you the way he does. He’s emotionally abusive. Leave! Don’t put his name in this new baby’s birth certificate either. Make him put in the effort. I wish I had. Once men like him don’t have you to use, control & emotionally abuse any more they don’t care about the kids. Let him prove me wrong.

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Why did you get pregnant again?

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to hell with him and his parents if u are able to look after ur kids u don’t a bag of shit burning u out and making u feel like crap and besides u not married so even better reason to leave u need to learn and be strong

So, you’ve “let him come back” 10 times, nothing has changed, and for some strange reason you think the 11th time will be magical and wonderful??? Get some counseling to find yourself and a good lawyer to get child support from this idiot. Oh, and STOP having his babies…

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Leave him and cut his parents off completely. Once you leave it will feel like a breath of fresh air because you won’t have to worry about being emotionally abused again. Also you need to keep your kids away from this bad environment.

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If you are as bad as he says , why is he still with you. He is the problem not you.

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I seen a video earlier and it said so what if its beeb 6 years, were they happy, do u want to do it for another 6 ? Cut the loss. And it really speaks volumes

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This was posted yesterday too

You stop having kids with this loser is what you do. Kick him out. Why would you want to even be with him

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Why do these posts keep getting recycled? :woman_facepalming:

You deserve better. As hard as it will be you need to move on.

Leave!! He will not change and things will actually be better for you and the kids if you separate from the problem (him).

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You got yourself a man child.
You wouldn’t be upset n nag I’m sure if he’d get off his as*…
Tell him to go and don’t let him back. Your doubting yourself is part of the emotional abuse he’s been doing to you.
As for his parents, they raised that… their pov is null and void :slightly_smiling_face::wink:

I feel like there’s a lot of men like this now a days , you’re definitely not a problem. Stop trying it’s been years , stop taking care of him and start living your life with your child .

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Leave him he’s a narcissist

Let him go back to his mom :joy:. You will be fine without him .

You’re already a single mom by the sound of it so just kick this dumpster fire out on the street.

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Leave! Leave! Leave! And also if you didnt know… you can always LEAVE!

He’s a narcissist. Run. Run Fast. Run Far.