Am I wrong for being mad at my boyfriend of 2 years for still having old xxx pics and videos?

Shouldn’t that stuff be gone as soon as you get serious with another person? Or am I wrong for thinking that? He claims he ain’t worried about it so i shouldn’t but he’s never done any of those things with me. Like taking pics of recording us or any of that. Why do they get that stuff and I don’t?
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If he isn’t worried about it then why won’t he just delete them? Maybe he wants to be in a relationship for a certain amount of time before making videos. I would tell him you don’t like it, I wouldn’t like it.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I wrong for being mad at my boyfriend of 2 years for still having old xxx pics and videos?

Had this happen in past years ago. Ended up getting cheated on. Idk. That’s a tough one. Your not wrong for being mad. I would express you want them destroyed/ erased if you are important to him.

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Is he watching them? Or looking? I kept all my love letters lol

Personally If he Keeping Videos/ Photos even if he isnt Watching them or Looking at them I still think its wrong… maybe I would let pass photos but Vidoes IS A BIG NO NO

Maybe he wasn’t happy with that Person And he wants it to be different with you Heach why he hasn’t done them stuff with You?

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Besides it being grimy to keep those… he hasn’t let go of whoever is in those pics and videos. You aren’t wrong. I’D BE PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSED. Do yourself a favor and ditch him. Know your worth :100:

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I’d feel concerned too. It’s a little odd to have photos and videos of a previous relationship. Especially 2 years into your relationship with him.

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Yeah, don’t settle for that. If he can’t let go of them and move on then you should.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I wrong for being mad at my boyfriend of 2 years for still having old xxx pics and videos?

Probably because he respects you. If its somethig you want to do with him then tell him.

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are they pictures and videos of him and another woman? if so then i just find that weird. someone i was with kept pictures and videos of me years after we split and i felt very creeped out by it.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I wrong for being mad at my boyfriend of 2 years for still having old xxx pics and videos?

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Definitely not someone whose hands you want your intimate videos and images in. Because look at how he’s acting now - holding onto them long after a breakup for whatever reason. I’m sure the woman in the video is unaware and wouldn’t be so keen on him still having them either. The problem isn’t that you don’t have videos, it’s that he has them of a previous lover and finds it acceptable to still use them.

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Maybe he has respect for you? I’ve done that stuff in my past cause I didn’t respect those people… Those were the “fun” people that I wasn’t going to spend a future with. Now I wouldn’t think of doing that “pics, recording” ect… but I mean the fun spicy stuff he gets. Just not the disrespectful stuff. But that’s my opinion and my experience

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Sounds like he has difficulty with separating what you feel / are saying with it not being an issue for him. Generally speaking, people who do that are very difficult to bring anything to a successful resolution. It denotes a degree of low emotional intelligence in him (in my view). You’re not wrong here.

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I personally wouldnt want them to have it and i wouldnt want to be in any. To easy to fuck you over and share it or let it out. Cant get it back if they share that shit :100:

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If they’re of an ex or him and an ex, thats not okay. At all. To you or the ex tbh. If a relationship ends it ends and its gross and disrespectful to keep those kinds of things. Theres no reason for it.
If its like, p*rn, it depends on the relationship. If you’re not comfortable with it he should be respecting that.

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If it’s of an ex partner I see no need to hang on to that. I don’t have anything like that of my ex. Delete and move on. Just my opinion.

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Delete them from his phone( and recently deleted). Tell her. Leave him and find someone who will treat you with some decency. The guy I was with before my current boyfriend I went through this same thing with, this is what I did and I haven’t looked back.

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You aren’t wrong in anything you may feel. If it bothers you it bothers you. Personally, I have photos dating back to 2010. And wouldn’t even have the energy to go through and delete every picture I have of exes or myself with exes. They are memories of myself and my life and how I got here. But like I said, if it bothers you then speak up x

No respect to keep those things. I get photos to look back on your life, but videos like that? No. Not appropriate.

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First off have you taken any pics and videos? Take them and send them onto him. Secondly that’s part of his life and past. Just cause he still has them doesn’t mean he want to get back with them but it is part of his life.

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Is he in the recordings? Did the women look at the camera or seem to know they were being recorded? Maybe he does have recordings of you without your knowledge? I’d be looking for nanny cams…

An ex partner i mean not really but if its porn things hes saved i see no issue

Is it of people he’s been with? If no, let it be.

Yeah that’s not cool. There’s no reason whatsoever to have old sex vids and pics. None.

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That’s absolutely not acceptable! You don’t save things like that when you have someone new. And if you’re interested in trying to do vids and pics ask him:) It can be a way to bring you together.

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My husband of 25 years has old pics of him and one of his ex girlfriends, we were married for less than a year when I found them and I demanded he get rid of them, he told me he did and then a year later I found them hidden, I was mad af and flipped my shit but then realized these are pics of them getting ready for prom and at prom, I realized I was being petty af about some pictures, if he wants to keep those memories their his to keep, that was his past and I’m his future.
Sometimes you just have to let it go and remember that he does have a past and it’s ok.
He’s with you and if you want those things then make it happen.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I wrong for being mad at my boyfriend of 2 years for still having old xxx pics and videos?

He is gas lighting you. Do not believe him there is no reason for him to still have those pics or videos

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Red flag :triangular_flag_on_post: that’s just disrespectful and immature on many levels.

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I guess I’m the odd one out … if he has nothing to do with them in person/no communication at all is just look it as porn :woman_shrugging:t3: now if he still has contact I’d be mad. And I’d be more likely to think it just happened and he’s cheating.
But in the end it is up to you … ask him to delete them and if he doesn’t you have 2 choices 1) accept he won’t delete or 2) leave him because he won’t do it

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He should get ride of the pictures. You need to decide if you want to stay him if he doesn’t get ride of them .And ask yourself do you really want to do pictures or a video of sexual content. What if you break up and keeps them for someone else to get a hold of to see .Is this really the type of person you want to be with?

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I’d be very bothered there’s no reason for him to have them unless there’s something there I’d be gone ask him how he’d feel if you had videos n pics of other guys dick pic n that :joy::joy: xx

Ya no…I wish he would :joy:

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So basically he should have had no life before you? So he has some happy memories of an ex. He’s with you. Why create needless drama?

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Wait these are videos of his ex and him ? :flushed: his purpose to keep those is what exactly ? Sex is sex … but clearly its something more that he needs to hold onto it with his ex. Actually it’s a bit creepy. How long have you been together? If it’s serious and you both see this going somewhere he should himself want to delete old videos and pics of him with his ex, close that chapter and welcome his new chapter with you. If he can’t then…he is far more attached to his old life and not ready for one with you.

Umm no he should’ve deleted those when you guys got serious! I’d be pissed too.

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I mean after two years, I don’t think I’d care :sweat_smile::sweat_smile:me and my boyfriend are going on a year and he’s still got pics he’s too lazy to delete and I guess I am too cuz I never deleted them either :rofl::rofl: also he might respect you more then those other girls and doesn’t want those same things from you cuz he sees them as disrespectful to you. Or maybe he just outright doesn’t care about taking pics or videos anymore :man_shrugging:t4: after my ex husband, I got out of taking pics and vids honestly. And they were usually his idea anyway so I never really thought of doing it in the first place. Maybe he wasn’t ever into it and the girls had him take the videos and pics :man_shrugging:t4: but if I were him, I wouldn’t care and would probably delete to avoid drama with my current partner

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i don’t know who’s laughing at this and why but if my so had videos and pictures of exes and himself and wouldn’t delete them and i’d be out the door in a heart beat.

Wait this videos and pics are of past gfs and personal interactions? I think if he’s in a serious relationship yes he should get rid of them. Maybe he doesn’t think you’re serious enough? Just because you’re together a few years he still may not see a “big” picture. If it were just random xxx stuff from time to time a lot of guys do that. Not all but a large percentage. Him having personal xxx pics would be a huge pass for me. If he can’t let go I’d let him go.

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I don’t delete anything. Those are memories and part of a persons journey…and I wouldn’t expect someone to delete them either.

Sounds like the real issue is he doesn’t show you the attention you feel he showed them, and that needs a conversation.

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He should have deleted those the moment he broke up with her.

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I am married and still have all of my old love letters photos etc. My hubs knows. He tried to throw away his old stuff and I wouldn’t let him. They are memories. Good or bad.

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Ya out of respect for you he should delete those kinds of pics and videos explain to him it makes you uncomfortable And ask him to delete them in front of you And empty the trash box as well if he loves you at all he will delete those after all no need to keep videos of sexual acts with an ex. After that maybe ask if hes like to get some vids or pics of you open up a little and show him you can be fun and wild and give him all that and more!

Although I feel he shouldn’t have the pics and videos of past relationships. I find it a little pathetic that it’s stated why can they have that and not me? Seriously jealous that he doesn’t want to make videos of the two of you?

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Girl, that is the same with my husband. He didn’t keep any pictures or videos but him and his ex had A LOT of them together and he doesn’t do that with me. At first I was salty but not anymore. I would be really upset though if he kept them all this time.

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There’s a reason he doesn’t want to let them go and delete them. I’d be more than pissed. That’s my way of looking at it. Fuck all that lol

Yeah no, that’s a hard pass for me. I’m always up front before I get into a new relationship, that pics/vids etc in the xxxx nature gotta go or we won’t work. I delete those type in nature, wtf I need em for?

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Im gonna be honest… God only KNOWs whats in my google photos :flushed:
I never made it habbit to delete anything

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If it’s porn that’s one thing but it sounds like it is of ex relationships and that I’d absolutely be mad about no question

So would he be cool with you having pictures & videos of your ex?

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Yeaaaa. Big no for me. I made it clear to my husband how pissed I was when I found videos and pictures of his past flings. Like you don’t take pictures or videos of me and us so why you keeping those old ones??? I also have an ex husband who cheated on me so I’m not okay with this type of behavior. Everyone has different opinions on this but your feelings are valid and your significant other needs to respect that. Period

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No way. They should have been gone as soon as he got serious with you. Tell him they need deleting because they make you uncomfortable. If he doesnt want to get rid of them then you need to get rid of him!

If they were normal pics I’d say it’s no big deal, but XXX pics of the ex have got to go! I’d be pissed! And those pictures better get deleted ASAP or we are gonna have a lot of problems!

I’d kick him to the curb

My husband only kept pictures with his ex wife & children. He deleted pics of him & her as well as anything she sent him. I didnt keep anything lol

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Sounds like you’re just jealous…nobody just goes all the way through their photos in a new relationship to delete something you might be jealous over. My partner has a couple hundred thousand photos and videos in his Google photos. That I would never expect him to have to go through there and delete stuff just because I felt insecure about myself over it.

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No…big ole fat NO. He should NOT have nudes or videos of his ex…that is not ok in any way shape or form…

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No he shouldn’t and you’re just right right to be jealous ask him why he still has pics and videos of his ex

In the era of revenge porn he should know better, I’d be more concerned about his intelligence than his disrespectfulness, his ex, you, or even a burglar could post that shit, dumb

Maybe he forgot to delete them but if he didn’t do that as soon as you brought it up, then I would think it’s intentional.

You women really got some self esteem issues. Just cause he doesn’t do something with you that he did with someone else, doesn’t mean anything…

I can only imagine what’s all in my google photos, OneDrive ect. But do my and my husband care, fuck no. He’s with me, I’m with him. The past is the past. Get the F over it

Maybe he respects you

I have things deep in my Google photos from over the years my bf now knows the videos are there.he never said anything. It could bother him bit im not deleting them. My ex husband used to watch them all. My bf got things in his stiff I have glanced at but I choose not to fight that battle It was all from a past lifetime
Jealousy never helps
Ask your man to make some with you to replace the old

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porn is normal :woman_shrugging:t2:

When will women realize men do not think the same way? Women overthink everything. Men are not even thinking about the same things.

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I think alot of you guys are reading over the xxx part and just thinking shes meaning regular pictures… I wouldnt be too happy if my boyfriend kept nude videos/pictures of an ex either.

Uhhh it depends, is it of him and his ex or just of random people??? You should’ve told him it bother you since the very beginning, or first time you saw the pics and videos…
Never record yourself having sex with your significant other, that should be a rule unless you trust him too much but don’t whine when yall break up and they are all over the internet🙄 and third why can’t you have xxx videos??? If he can ,you can too.

Oh my friend, you are as clueless as I was. Somebody isn’t going to just change bc you are getting serious. I made this mistake and it lead to him eventually cheating and divorce. Talk it over but if he doesn’t change it then toss him.

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If it’s just a random video off the internet, meh. If it’s of an ex, huge red flag. Dump his ass and run. Run as fast as you can and never look back. If it’s of him and his ex and he don’t do that stuff with you, another red flag. Run. Run. RUUUUUNNNNN!!!

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This just in: if your partner has intimate pictures of anyone else saved on their phones and it causes you discomfort you have every right to demand they be deleted and there is zero excuse for them to be saved.

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If it is xxx pictures and videos of an ex then he shouldn’t be keeping them. But then again I also dont date guys who do that. Honestly, any guy I have dated hasn’t been into that. If he is I won’t date him. I have never had these issues in relationships. But that is because I choose my men wisely a lot less drama. He should delete them if he has any respect for you

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Of who? Didn’t specify of himself so I’m not going to assume it’s an ex…. I just never understand why people get upset over porn, unless it’s preferred over you. Sorry I don’t have “good advice” as I don’t go making trouble and causing problems where there isn’t one. :grimacing:

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If it’s no big deal and he knows it bothers you why does he insist on keeping it? It’s not family heirlooms we’re talking about here…

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Doesn’t bother me in the slightest… my fella came across some xxx vids and photos of his ex he kept on a memory card. He didn’t wipe the card It really didn’t bother me we all have a past and if u he wants to look then so be it I don’t really care he saw it in person if he wants to hurt him self with bad memories that’s he’s own doing but if it bothers u then have a talk with him

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Let him do what he wants so you can see what he’d rather do . His actions will show how much he respects you …

I wouldn’t want any photos/vids/statuses of my partners ex on their Facebook … and I’d leave if they refused to remove too ! It only means there is still some sort of emotional attachment there … big no no !

Yah I wouldn’t trust him for so many reasons from this post alone. He’s not worth your time.

Maybe he has changed and don’t wanna do them anymore or maybe he values you more… you never know what’s going on in a man’s head

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You don’t want that stuff. Pictures and videos are forever. Phone gets lost, account gets hacked, now the world has you in all your glory.

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Me and my husband have been together almost 5 years and porn i dont care. Shoot i was porn sometimes for idea n stuff 2 try lol. But if i found that stuff on his facebook or on ANY social media sites or if they were of anyone hes ever atually known i would already be in prison for killin the SOB. Lmao

Disrespectful to you, disrespectful to the ex. Those pictures should have been gone as soon as she was. Way out of line.

How did these come up? We’re you looking in his gallery years back? Or are these getting recent attention from him? I don’t take the time to literally go through my photos & videos & delete exes. I also don’t sit & go back & look & reminisce on them. It’s the past. It happened. I don’t understand why people try to act like they were never in another relationship. If the one you are in now is healthy & secure, why is anyone worried about past relationships or the evidence of them? Now if these photos & videos are doing anything other than collecting dust in his gallery, then hell yes, there is an issue. BUT, from what I read, you have found out somehow that he took part in these pics & videos & y’all never have & THAT is what really has you upset. IF y’all were good until you found this out, & the pics & vids are not getting play, I don’t think you should make an issue out of him not going back & deleting. I think you should tell your man you want to make a video or whatever. Also, you can most definitely tell him you want him to take the time to go thru his phone & delete all that. It’s about respect. Ijs don’t take it all personal that as soon as y’all became official he didn’t spend an hour going back & deleting. Some of us are paying too much attention to the present & future to be worried about erasing or hiding the past. Could be something like that. Nothing wrong with how ya feel. Just be smart about what you do with your feelings. :wink:

If they’re from an ex, uhmmmm fuck that guy. He’s had 2 years to rid of that ish. Tell him to suck a nut, do a fab hair flip and don’t look back.
I will point out that I am rather toxic and being 31 have never had a relationship longer then 2 years soo there’s that too.
Best of luck

Personally I wouldn’t want photos or videos of me like that. One bad thing and they could use it against u x

If I was the ex I’d have a huge problem with him still watching the videos. Delete them from his phone. And then delete him.

Lol he ain’t over them :raising_hand_woman:

Definitely should be gone

Maybe because I’m old and see it different but anything from.before me isnt my business and what he does or doesn’t delete or look at on his own phone isn’t my business. If I didn’t trust him we would not be here. 🤷

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Ya that’s a red flag

Tell ‘em to delete em to make room for y’all’s and settle it that way

“He claims he ain’t worried about it”… No but you are! And he should respect that… Of course he isn’t worried about it because it’s most likely something he still gets off on… I’d delete it… See how worried about it he is then 🤷

Nope the way you feel is normal. I went through this myself. Deleted it all and like someone else said I was told I was respected more which is why our relationship didn’t evolve makein the same way

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It’s just like porn just homemade. Honestly. As long as your sex life isn’t messed up by it then nothing to worry about.

I know its Super common for guys to keep Any nudes they get, no matter how old or how things ended with the other person. I Personally think that’s really creepy. Especially if your relationship ended on bad terms but you keep nudes to jack off later?? Even though you have a new girlfriend?? And there’s literally infinite porn out there of people who Want you to look at them. Stop looking at exs nudes… And absolutely do not send those nudes. You do not have permission to do that just because they sent them to you. But it is also weird that this guy has Vidoes of him fucking other people but has never asked his current gf for that. Not sure what that’s about

95 percent of men watch porn & keep pics in their phone & the other 5 percent are in denial :wink:
If you find a good guy ? Keep them :heartpulse:

He is weird and I’d leave him. Any man/women that keeps xxx videos of their ex. RED FLAG. You shouldn’t keep those when you don’t even have access to the person anymore.

Did he tell you this or did you snoop through his phone?

Because A. You shouldn’t go through someone else’s phone without permission

B. Just because you’re in a relationship that doesn’t automatically mean you have permission to snoop

C. Are they internet videos and pics or of exes?

D. He could be a p*rn addict or sex addict.

E. Have you spoken to him about it?

I’m just saying if it’s nudes of an ex. I would be bothered. It’s rude to you and it’s rude to his ex for still keeping those intimate photos. My husband saves anything I’ve ever sent him that was intimate he would delete them if we broke up or if I just asked him to he would. That’s called respect, and I made sure he didn’t have any photos of his ex when we got together. Because I didn’t so it would be fair if he didn’t either. Can’t move on from the past if you’re still stuck on it