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QUESTION:
"Shouldn’t that stuff be gone as soon as you get serious with another person? Or am I wrong for thinking that? He claims he ain’t worried about it so i shouldn’t but he’s never done any of those things with me. Like taking pics of recording us or any of that. Why do they get that stuff and I don’t?"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"I’d feel concerned too. It’s a little odd to have photos and videos of a previous relationship. Especially 2 years into your relationship with him."
"Definitely not someone whose hands you want your intimate videos and images in. Because look at how he’s acting now - holding onto them long after a breakup for whatever reason. I’m sure the woman in the video is unaware and wouldn’t be so keen on him still having them either. The problem isn’t that you don’t have videos, it’s that he has them of a previous lover and finds it acceptable to still use them."
"If it’s of an ex partner I see no need to hang on to that. I don’t have anything like that of my ex. Delete and move on. Just my opinion."
"No respect to keep those things. I get photos to look back on your life, but videos like that? No. Not appropriate."
"That’s absolutely not acceptable! You don’t save things like that when you have someone new. And if you’re interested in trying to do vids and pics ask him:) It can be a way to bring you together."
"He should get ride of the pictures. You need to decide if you want to stay him if he doesn’t get ride of them .And ask yourself do you really want to do pictures or a video of sexual content. What if you break up and keeps them for someone else to get a hold of to see .Is this really the type of person you want to be with?"
"Ya out of respect for you he should delete those kinds of pics and videos explain to him it makes you uncomfortable And ask him to delete them in front of you And empty the trash box as well if he loves you at all he will delete those after all no need to keep videos of sexual acts with an ex. After that maybe ask if hes like to get some vids or pics of you open up a little and show him you can be fun and wild and give him all that and more!"
"If it’s porn that’s one thing but it sounds like it is of ex relationships and that I’d absolutely be mad about no question"
"In the era of revenge porn he should know better, I’d be more concerned about his intelligence than his disrespectfulness, his ex, you, or even a burglar could post that shit, dumb."
"Maybe he forgot to delete them but if he didn’t do that as soon as you brought it up, then I would think it’s intentional."
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