We (bf, 2 daughters and I) are currently living with my boyfriend’s friend and his son (not free, we are helping him pay rent) til July so we can save up some money for our own place. Well on Sat. night it was getting late and his son was still up playing video games so my bf told him to go to bed. Sun. morning my bf heard his dad yelling at him because he stayed up all night/morning and came out the room saying, “Can’t rely on anyone.” My bf said, “Your kid, not my problem”. So his friend ended up not talking to him all day. That night, my bf came into the room saying that his friend is kicking us out and called the police. What because we didn’t put his son to bed when it’s HIS RESPONSIBILITY! That’s his child!So they had a fit outside but calmed down before the police came and started talking. Now we have 30 days to move out. Came Mon. morning and they were both talking and his friend all laughing as if nothing happened! Now that pissed me off because how are you still going to be friends with someone who just tried to kick your family out for the 3rd time! Over some bullshit! So I’m upset with my bf that he’s still friends with him and can’t even stand being around his friend…I guess all I can do is bite my tongue… Is it wrong for me to be upset at my bf because he is still friends with this guy?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I wrong for being upset with my boyfriend for not kicking his friend to the curb?
This Is why I don’t live with friends. Save up and get your own space. Only thing you can do. Dude sounds like a mess anyways
Sounds like your bf and friend are just trying to be civil. The friend can kick y’all out depending on how long y’all have been there usually depends on how (check your state laws).
How awkward would it be if they weren’t friends and you’re still living there. Yikes. I would calm down.
I think the best thing to do is be civil until you move out
i d find a place ASAP
You have a right to your feelings. And so does your bf. You’re irrelevant to his choice of friends. You not wanting to have anything with homie doesn’t have anything to do with your bf
Move out ,he is finding anyway to get you guys to leave ,he did that on purpose
Y don’t live with friends
You should be glad you had that place to stay while it lasted take the hint of an overstayed welcome and move out.
Never live with friends… especially once you have kids involved. 9 times out of 10 it will ruin friendships
You and your children should find a low income apartments and get out
For the sake of the children and tension, I’d be civil with him as well til we moved. You’re not really in a position to judge what someone’s doing to make sure their family is comfortable & SAFE until further notice.
Yeah…you’re shocked at this when he’s got you living in someone’s house? Cmon. Your kids aren’t his kids…right? He’s showing you where your place is. Now Whatchu gonna do?
Guys fight thru shit and women talk shit… that’s how they deal.
This is how men “friend”.
That said, if they worked it out, dad needs to grab his son & have a chat.
An adult told you to go to bed. End of discussion. Games go off at whatever time. Some adult should be taking controllers or cutting off the wi-fi to ensure that happens.
If the dead expects help, all this should be discussed.
However, I’d still be finding anywhere else, ASAP.
Just save your money and move!
This is why I will never live with someone else again. I hated having roommates
Grown adults with children live in their own places. Be quiet or you will be on the street.
Sometimes living with friends can ruin the whole friendship ive been there.
It’s come to my understanding that most men aren’t as vengeful as most women can be. They yell it out, throw some punches then laugh at eachother and the whole situation the next day. Yes it sucks of your situation. Be civil, and move as soon as you can.
How miserable would it be if one of you didn’t try to keep the peace…save money and move out get some stability for your kids!
Having people living in your home is tough and can ruin relationships. If he’s tried to kick you out THREE times, get the hint and move out of his house.
You need to get your own place. It’s clear that the situation is not working.
You still live this dude…just keep the peace until you guys move.
Maybe he is trying to be civil until you guys move
Suck it up or move out before your 30 days….
See i do get what ur saying, not ur reaponsibility, maybe ur bf is trying to keep the peace. Ultamitly ur bfs friend is letting u live there with them, maybe hes thinks ur taking the p*** its hard living with someone else,
Personally i would try and find somewere else because its not fair to put that pressure on a friendship, specially when he let u live there… it probably wouldn’t of been his first choice either…
I would look for a place as fast as I can. Allow him to be friends with the guy. Once you get moved you never have to see or talk to him again unless you want to.
You have a roof over your head for now. Keep your mouth shut. You’re only dragging it out.
Some friendships are just like that. You can’t live together without fighting like hell. That’s just how some people are and you don’t have a right to control his friendships, especially when you haven’t been upgraded to wife yet.
As hard as it is just be civil until you find your own place as you still need a roof over your head in the mean time hopefully you can find your own place soon it’s hard when you live with other people.
If it bothers you, leave the boyfriend.
This is why I don’t live with anyone at their house. If it’s not in my name never ever ever
People do interesting things when they have leverage over you. I’m sure the friendship will settle when you don’t live with him.
It shouldn’t ever get to the point that you need to move in with others especially when you have a family of your own. It’s been some time obviously if you stated that he’s tried to kick you out three times now. Time to grow up, live on your own, and remember as adults that arguments happen and only children hold onto resentment.
Men. That’s how they roll.
Having a family live in your house is super hard. Has it’s ups and downs. I think you are being dramatic, it’s his friend, he’s allowed to decide if he forgives his friend or not.
Maybe the better question is, why are you habitually getting kicked out?! Just as it’s not your responsibility to put someone else’s child to bed, it’s not his responsibility to allow you to stay in his apartment. Clearly you have some things you need to work on. Don’t worry about it - we all do. But you need to focus on the things within your control.
There’s probably a lot more to the story than the issue with the kid not going to bed. There always is. Have you even been working on getting out of his house since you’ve been there or did you move in and plan on being there forever? Nobody knows the whole story. You’re only telling part of it. Grow up and move out. You’re both adults.
Do you want to be on the street? They need to remain civil until you move. This is what happens when you don’t have your own place.
Wtf? How old are y’all?
Hurry and get your own place. Living in someone’s home is not easy.
Friends are like that all the time. They are friends one day annd then they get into an argument and be pissed off at eachother and then they are friends again until they have another argument. Yall can all try sitting down with eachother and have a talk. What happened when your boyfriend told the boy to go to bed? Did he go to bed? All relationships are like this. There is an argument and stop talking to eachother and then friends again. How long has your boyfriend been friends with him?
even though you plan on leaving in July, times are extremely tough right now, rent is ridiculous so bite your tongue, keep it civil, and start looking for a decent affordable place.
I understand you’re upset but let the guys be cool with each other if that’s wha is keeping the peace.
all of you sit down, agree to how to run the house including where the line is with his son (was he at work and his son in your care?), and then write up a lease with the friend.
Just suck it up and save as much as you can to get your own place asap
Pfft. Some people don’t live together well. As an adult I had to live with my parents until I could get my own place and believe me, the stress and fighting was real. I moved out and were good now.
Get over it. Their friendship, not your business.
High school BS to me. He wants to play games, doesn’t sound like he’s very good at parenting either.
I would NEVER allow a whole family to live with me. There’s two grown people who can work and they are homeless or struggling bc they either don’t want to work or can’t manage money. Also your bf was very disrespectful. Y’all should have been kicked out. Now grow up get a job and take care of yourself.
So you’d think refer there to be a hostile environment with animosity instead of everyone getting along?
And honestly this friend is doing you a favor letting you live there, regardless if you’re paying or not (which you should). If the expectation is to help with the kids then help with the kids or go be independent. Sorry, you and your boyfriend are wrong here. The friends only fault was being dramatic and calling the cops.
Get Out ASAP… That’s not a good FRIEND… more problems to come !
Time to go. By yourself if you must. This isn’t a healthy environment for children. All of the children. Just move out. There must be some sort of option for you
I had a situation where we were renting from my husband’s cousin for 3 years while he was in another country. He came back and my husband was driving him around, we made up a temporary room for him, and I was cooking for him and cleaning up after him. We were planning to buy the place we had made home, and he was giving us a good deal since we had been paying rent on time for 3 years. He decided to back out on us the day of closing and made things so difficult and uncomfortable us that while he gave us 30 days to vacate, we took the first apartment we could find and moved in under a week. He also said some really hateful stuff to and about me. While my husband did defend me in the moment, at family events and stuff my husband acted totally cool with him and at first it made me mad. I wouldn’t be cool with someone who made life that difficult for my family or talked negatively about my husband. But my husband is a peacekeeper and I had to realize that his relationships are not mine. Let him deal with his personal relationships how he sees fit. Because even if you have alllll the information about their relationship, you’re not a part of it, so let him do what feels right for him. I do have guidelines about my involvement with this cousin in the future that my husband respects. He’s not welcome at my house, I don’t want to go to lunch or dinner with him, and the only time I want to be around him is at family events where I will be cordial and polite but will not be spending any time with him.
All of this to say, you can limit your involvement with this friend, but let him manage his own relationships.
Living with others is so hard. He probably so sick of y’all being there so anything a little major is a good excuse to kick y’all out with it being yalls fault and not his. Then come sunrise he feels bad because that’s his friend! They best thing you can do is quickly find your own space and to let your husband deal with his friend. That his relationship to save, not yours to judge. Get over yourself.
If yall recieve mail 30 days notice by law
Move out so he can deal with his own child
Sounds like a best friend kinda thing. I would be upset but at the same time I would let them be civil as u have to be there 30 day would u rather them fight and argue 30 days?
Very difficult situation…
Men will argue and get over it quicker then woman…
Living in someone else’s SPACE is very difficult.
You should be thanking him instead of bad mouthing him.
He is doing you a HUGE favor.
When you look back you will understand…
Try to help more instead of taking the NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY root.
You think maybe he’s just trying to play nice so his family isn’t on the streets?? Try talking to your man about this.
Just shut up and wait it out. Youre moving in a couple months.
Is probably a good time to move. Should start looking again.
You’d prefer he loses his best mate over a petty arguement? Multiple families suddenly living together is often going to be messy.
If you want somewhere to stay they need to still be friends.
Personally i would leave on my own WITHOUT THE BOYFRIEND, YOU DESERVE WAY BETTER THAN THAT. Take the money you have saved and just you go, even if uts with family. That is no life for you.
If the friend is providing the roof over your head then you better suck it up and find your own place sooner than later.
Sounds like your husband is staying nice until you can afford to move out. What’s the alternative? Living on the street with your 2 kids?
So you want him to kick his friend to the curb while you still need to live in his house? Yeah, that makes a ton of sense. Sounds like your all just using each other.
Get your own place and move out. Evidently your friend thinks it is your place to handle his affairs. Now you know why he let you move in!!! Get your own place and never look back!! Good luck.
Do you have anywhere else to go? If that’s the best situation that’s going to keep a roof over your head, then yeah. Stay and bite your tongue. We all gotta make sacrifices sometimes
They are over it its a petty argument and obviously friend realised his fault.
Your bf is doing what he needs to do to keep a roof over top of his family’s head! Let him do that! Or u can’t find a place for y’all!!!
If he wasn’t home I don’t see the issue in making the kids go to bed! Friends step on and help especially when they are being helped… he didn’t ask your bf To rob someone…geesh
Well 30 days is close to July anyway
Have you tried to get public housing until y’all can get on your feet and that way you don’t have to live with anyone else
The 3rd time ? Smh it would if only took one time for u to try to kick me and mine out never have someone even put u in a situation like that u might be better off in a shelter until u can save up and move
Should he not be friends while y’all continue to live in his house?
Maybe your bf understand he has to bite his tongue and play it cool until he can find a place for all of you
Sounds like he is playing nice to keep a roof over your heads. I’d be looking around and getting thing ready to be moving out soon July is only a month away !
You are making an emotional decision, when you need to be more strategic. Do you have anywhere for you and your children to go? If not, is this location preferable to a homeless shelter? If you are able to move, how quickly can that be accomplished? Are your children in school? How disruptive would the move be for them, as the school year is wrapping up? And so on.
Your boyfriend, at least is playing it smart. You need to do so as well.
Men are not as petty as women and can get over things much quicker. I wish more women were like this. Your living in his home, you can stay and deal or leave pretty simple solution.
Wait… How is your boyfriend going to kick his buddy to the curb in his own house? I’m so confused. If you’re that upset, move out NOW. Don’t wait until July. You should be grateful his buddy is letting you stay in His place!
You do not have a place to go , so yes …. Shut up, sucked up and move .
Guys dose not still mad over stuff as long as women.
You guys live in this guys house ! You really can’t say Shit !
Is this the friends house? If so then time for you to go get your own place. The police won’t make you leave unless he takes you to court and evicts you. Where was the dad Sat nite? Was he home? Asleep? Not your child not your responsibility if he was home.
I think there’s more to the story. Especially if its the 3rd time he wanted to kick you out. Perhaps this situation was a last straw of many other issues.
If I were you I’d leave with my daughters and get my own place. Since they want to be so buddy buddy he can stay with his friend. And since he wants to call police because you wouldn’t take responsibility over HIS kid I would have called cps letting them know he neglects his kid and expects everyone else to stepup and take responsibility for said kid. Because he needs to step up and be responsible for his own kid. What’s the kid going to be like when noone else is there to do dad’s job for him?
I don’t know what state or country you’re in but if you have mail coming there he will have to go through the courts you to be evicted and if your names are on a you least there only people that can kick you out are the landlord check your laws
No it’s not wrong of you to be upset but maybe your boyfriend is just trying to keep things on an even keel until y’all move out. Hating each other for 30 days won’t be fun.
Maybe the boyfriend is trying to be nice till you can get out?
I guess is better to be in good relations till you can get out rather than be all mad and stuff.
Thats no friend… why on earth would kick a family out on the street… and then call the police… over something that wasn’t even ur responsibility in the first place…
That bloke is a total A hole!!!
Perhaps ur boyfriend needs reminding about loyalty and where his should be… I would be fuming too!!
Don’t live with friends, rarely ever works out and usually lose a friend doing so. Sounds like it’s an overstay on your part. I’ve had plenty of friends that overstayed their welcome and it sucks. Kids always involved. Also, may be his son, but when me and my friends lived together we all helped raise the children. Living with someone you hate for 30 days isn’t good for anyone. Find some where else whether your bf comes with you or not.
In most states u have to be evicted, especially if u can prove you’ve been paying rent for more than 30 days. Also, living with some people just doesn’t work. I am friends with many people I wouldn’t live with. It’s rotten to threaten this but it’s his place and when he wants u gone, go…if u can’t go somewhere else, then u need to follow his rules, whether u like them or not or whether u think they are unreasonable or not. Sucks but true.
Guys fight and argue differently than women.
Yes, your wrong. Why would he stay mad? Perhaps, your boyfriend has a better level of understanding in regards to empathy, compassion, grace and gratitude. It certainly cannot be easy for his friend or his son to have an entire family and children move in. It has completely upset their family dynamics. Perhaps some communication and ground rules were discussed. You seem to be looking at this from your side only. Personally, i would work extra hard to get a place of my own. Even if it is only a one or two bedroom. Make it work. Untill you can do better. Friends, true good friends are hard to come by. Dont burn a bridge of someone who was willing to upset their life to save yours. Best wishes. Much peace and love ☆
i had a ex bf like that i had a Toy Poodle size of a cat she wasnt friendly with kids soo i had too give her away the lady who gave me her said that her vet said if i was too mate the dog it would have too be same kind of Toy poodle well his friends gf (i never got along with her she had a attitude problem) they had a miniture poodle and i said no we had our own apt soo his friends came over his friends gf wanted too fight me because i said no and all my ex did was smile and said shit soo i few monthes after that i broke up with him tg best move i ever did he took his friends over me
It’s not your place he can put you out any time he chooses for whatever reason and he can be friends with whomever he chooses.
This is between them.
True friends learn how to work through things instead of calling out quits… They have probably been friends for a really long time but still, that’s tough it probably would have taken me longer to work through lol
Your living his his house….
Don’t be mad. He has to keep things ok to live there till u move. Why would u want to walk on egg shells vs bite your tongue. Lose the kid once u move