Or or or, you be happy and content that you get to spend quality time with family and instead of going into debt over expensive gifts for your children or anyone else’s, spend time together
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Why don’t y’all draw names for the kids? You would only have to buy a gift for each one of your kids to give as a gift.
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Christmas isnt about gifts and I think majority of people have forgotten that. It’s the time you spend with loved ones and celebrate the birth of jesus (not religious really) but it’s the fact alot of families do just this and compete over who got the most presents or the most expensive when it isnt that way at all. It’s about family and the amount of love you give not presents
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I got dollar tree gifts for my sisters kids this year.
Well actually I would set a limit.
Equal share ,his side and yours. Eg 200.for yours, 200 for his.
He’s a wantabee, smart arse .Bignoting himself.
Christmas should never be about getting into debt.
We have a big family so we only buy for our godchildren! It is so much easier! I would suggest pulling names in your case so no one goes into debt!
I can’t afford to buy presents so we just buy for whoever lives in our house.
This year. Just like the last 6 years I don’t have the money to get my daughter gifts. (I get money from her dads side for gifts but this year i have to save it) My sister has already said she would get her something. And even told her kids it’s going to be a small Christmas so that we can have one too.
I am thankful for it and I appreciate it. But indont expect it. I dont demand it. And I will never feel like its owed to me.
If you cant get them their presents then dont. I promise it’s not expected from you.
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Never go in debt for Christmas
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I would of brought them a selection box 
better than nothing
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Tell him how much you spent so you can get your money back.
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We have lots of Adult cousin’s with kids. We do a grab bag for $25. It’s nice. When my siblings kids were little, they each had 4 kids and I only had 1 at the time. I would buy a family movie DVD for the family. The kid’s loved it.
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Our family is huge…what we do every year is the adults draw names then the kids draw names. So each person buys 1 gift…this has worked out well as some have extra money and some don’t. Of course we still have family that can afford to buy for all the kiddos but that is their choice. Just an idea to maybe throw at your husband’s family.
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Would you not have still had to charge your credit card, spending $600 more on your kids anyway?
Suggest to everyone that you start doing secret santa gifts where the adults draw names for the kids. 🤷🏻
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as someone who can’t even afford to buy christmas for my babies this year, you are not wrong. love can be shown many ways. presents don’t have to be the answer.
My husband family is same way bigger family than mine there has been times in past some his family couldn’t afford get anyone gifts but my husband didn’t care we still bought every one gifts 
Presence is better than presents. Maybe next year it’s time to change things, so you’re not going into debt. Also, do up a gift basket for each family, rather than spending money on each member. Cheaper & they can learn to appreciate.
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Christmas is not about presents Make em small gifts I saw a chocolate bar and mittens made look super cute. Very cheap So take em back make your own n love your hubby for wanting to try n make everyone happy. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you n yours
Say NO. GET YOUR POWER BACK.
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Have you ever heard of Jesus!? This isn’t about gifts or money!? 
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thats why we ARE NOT BUYING GIFTS THIS YEAR, WE ARE GETTING TOGETHER FOR DINER, tHE gifts are costing to much and the point is being together
My son will not have anything under the tree… We don’t even have a tree up! I’m so blessed… at 13 years old … when all his friends…cousins… Etc… are boasting about what expensive things they want … and will no doubt get … that he said “mom, I understand … I’m just so happy that we have ‘love’”. This post is honestly just gross. 
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So he can pay you back? He can pay you back so he can get the gifts. No I wouldn’t go in debt at all. With a family that big a secret Santa option so you’re not stressing about 20 something people and only one. I’d return them
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This year is tight in my family as well so instead of the grandkids buying gifts for each other we decided to do homemade gifts. It can be making cookies or candy to coloring a picture. Just something like that. All my grands love doing crafts so it’s doing something that has that personal touch.
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I have 3 brothers and 3 sisters and once they were married with kids we just did a name draw for each kid. (and for the adults too)
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Suggest secret Santa for the kids next year & even the adults or white elephant for the adults:woman_shrugging:t2: soooo much easier than having to buy everyone gifts, saves money & hassle, we do this at my in-laws except there’s not that many kids so everyone still buys for the kids & we do white elephant, we’ve done it for the past 2rys now & it’s been great on our stress & pockets around the holidays plus it’s super fun!! Growing up we would draw names (secret Santa) at my papaws since their were 20+ people, always so fun & much easier! Recommend this to your in laws I’m sure they wouldn’t be against it 
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See I have a problem with people who struggle in December to buy for children. Christmas is the same day every year , look at any Calendar. You have a whole year from one Christmas to the next to shop. Even if it’s a $20 toy. Give up the Starbucks for a week a month and buy a damn toy . Jeez
Tell me you forgot what Christmas is about without actually telling me you forgot what Christmas was about.
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My family is not that big…I have a sister and brother and with my 2, 7 kids total. We split it up every year. For example, My family bought for my sister and brother, and my sisters three girls, my sister bought for me, and my sister in law and my brother’s son and daughter, and my brother’a family gifted my two and my brother in law and my fiancé. All three families spoiled my mom and her husband with gift because my mom is wonderful and we wanted to. We took a family vacation as I live far away and the four women stayed up wrapping everything one night, we do not put from on the gifts (this was my idea because it’s not about credit for who buys the best gifts) we just put too. We even made stockings for all 15 people. It was so fun and I was about the only person that really knew what was what because I did the lists and do most of the shopping for my mom and sister too. Everyone had such a joyful day and stress free.
I agree with you. Never, in any situation, should you go into debt over Christmas. I refuse to. I’d start drawing names with them for the kids only. Start a holiday gift exchange.
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Return them or make him pay for them. Going into debt to please other people or make yourself look good is a terrible lesson for your own children. Do secret Santa with a family that big or tell them you’re tight too and won’t be getting their kids anything either then. Your husband shouldn’t have much of a say if he doesn’t make the money
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You have to draw the line somewhere. It ends up spoiling the whole day knowing the cost of it all. And most of the time it’s just more stuff to them.
Try to remember the true meaning of Christmas
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See I’m the opposite I don’t give to receive I buy for everyone in the family even though some of them have never bought for us it doesn’t bother me, I plan in advance because of the fact i have a huge family so I start in like August/ September this year cost me 2000 pound and I didn’t get into much debt used a bit on the catalogue but it’s worth it because I can’t buy for some and not the others.
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Just name cookies instead. Every kid loves cookies. Return the gifts. Christmas isn’t about spending the most amount of money.
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It seems by reading this that the problem isnt that you bought them gifts its that you bought them gifts only to find out you wont be getting gifts back in return and now your mad…so these gifts were NEVER being given from your heart so take them back.Your husband is right you are wrong.You basically just threw a temper tantrum because you werent going to get gifts back so my suggestion is for you to grow up and relearn the true meaning of Christmas.
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I come from a large family too and we stopped doing that cause it’s just too much money and for what. No one ever gets anything they really want. We draw names at Thanksgiving and do homemade gifts for the adults and we purchase for our own kids for a Santa gift. We are lucky enough to have someone dress up as Santa and call all the kids up. That kids is normally 10-20 bucks but your kid so you do you. There is no limits on the homemade gift. You do up to your ability… some do more high end things some do baked goods. No one cares cause there is no expectations. We used to have a dollar amount and people would go cheap while u spent a lot. Then people get made. There is no getting mad on this cause it’s totally up to you. We have been happy with this method and we don’t go broke! It is fun seeing what everyone comes up with.
I feel like things could be made or you could grab something cheap from dollar tree or 5 below… But stressing and fighting over money isn’t what Christmas is about. Giving shouldn’t be done expecting something back.
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You shouldn’t be going into debt for anyone, including your own children! Christmas is not about going into debt. Each year, we set a limit on the dollar amount that we spend on each kid. We have 4 kids and usually spend around $500 on each of them for Christmas. The 3 oldest, 18, 18 and 13, understand that if they ask for a $300 present, they’re only getting maybe 3 or 4 presents, while our youngest, 8, who asks for Barbies and Legos will have a lot more presents than them. Then we. Buy for our nieces and nephews, under 18. But it’s usually small, usually about $25 on each of them. An Amazon gift card, a RC car, arts and crafts… stuff like that. To be honest though, it seems that you’re more upset about buying for your nieces and nephews and your kids not getting in return, and that’s not what Christmas is about.
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Ooof. No one is entitled to your money. You and your partner are PARTNERS so I’m not sure why it’s his money vs. your money. Never ever go into debt for gifts- not even for your own children. Sounds like your husband feels bad for his siblings but he can’t save their Chistmas’s if it is taking from your household. Personally, I just shopped for my 2 year old daughter and a few things for my other half. Mostly due to stress and illness. Sounds like you guys are going through the stresses of the holiday and not communicating effectively. I believe true Christmas magic is seen through the eyes of children so I make sure it’s special for my little, everyone does what they can when they can. With a family that big, there should be a secret Santa situation. At this point, just enjoy seeing your children’s happiness on Chistmas morning and try something different next year.
We quit buying gifts for all the cousins we buy our own kids a 10.00 gift put them all under the same tree…all from Santa…over 30 kids is way too much to buy for…and everyone is happy
1.regardless who works, its YALL money
2.IF he saying he wkll pay you back where does he get money from?
3. You spent 400 on his family, and 1000 on your kids, so why mad at him?
4.sounds like youd have been fine with it IF they bought for your kids
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And buying YOUR kids pricey gifts because they want, thats on YOU
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1 white elephant gift for the Adults…My kids come home just for that from out of town …They Love it…We all get to pick a gift or take someone elses…pick a number 1st…so fun !!!
Yall dont read huh?
She spent 400 on family.
1000+ on her kids.
Found out his fam couldnt buy gifts for kids.
Now is mad.
However, she said her kids wanted pricey items and she had to charge it. So she still would have been “in debt” for THEIR stuff
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Next year have the kids draw names. You’ll only buy two.
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I don’t think you understand the meaning of Christmas.
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I am not sure why anyone would buy for anyone else outside the family home. If you feel the need then a Christmas card with a few scratch offs. For children- if they haven’t drawn names yet I’m not sure why they haven’t. Say 20 kids- each draw a name with a $25-50 cap on cost. Boom done
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I’d rather give kids a life experience ie like a trip than toys
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If it’s heavy on your part to give those gifts to his side of the family, don’t give them.
If it’s not heartily given and also you’re expecting something in return, don’t go to their Christmas event.
We’re i’m from, we call it being plastic. We don’t give to receive. Give because you genuinely want to.
Also, set aside a budget for each kid for the whole year. Or propose to have the kids a secret Santa. In that way, you’re only buying gifts for the names your kids picked.
Grow up you didn’t have to spend that much on gifts so that’s your fault for going into debt
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It’s not his money so he doesn’t care. If he made the money and worked for it, I think it would be different.
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I have 4 brothers and sisters plus they are all married and have kids. What we did is draw names for adults and kids. Adults would buy for adults and then cousins would buy for cousins. We had a dollar amount limit. When the kids got 18 they were then put in the adult drawing
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Dont feel bad about it. Dont take back the gifts have him pay u back… if thy can’t return the favor then u shouldnt have to go out of your way to do it for them:thinking: so u have to explain. To your kids why they didn’t get gifts?. So if a time comes that u are tight on money and can’t get your kids gifts it means no one else well 
nah it ain’t right. End the tradition and keep it within your family, hubby and kids.
So your husband contributes no money to this household at all ? Zero nothing . Why
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When you buy gifts for someone it is to make them happy and show you care it’s not about getting back yes we all love gifts but if someone is down on their luck and when your married it’s both your money no matter who paid that’s called being one seems you give to get
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Okay, it’s you that makes the money and spends it, but say “WE” went into debt. No girl. You are the one making the money, you are making the choice where you spend it. YOU are the one going into debt. If you decided to buy stuff for his family, you don’t get to hold it against him. Spend what you want, buy what you want to buy, end of story. If he were gone tomorrow, you’d still be left in debt. Time for some personal accountability for you and your choices. Your finances. Your hubby and kids are not working your job or paying your bills, why are you allowing all of these people to control the money?
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I feel this post. Maybe next year suggest a name drawing or fun game were you all bring same amount of price on gifts and kids draw numbers. I forget what it called. You could even set it for under 15 etc But honestly Christmas isn’t about ill buy your kid this if you buy mine an equal or greater value present. I would also have a major talk with hubby about not everyone has same responsibilities nor will they have same expensives for gifts and a family talk about the importance of Christmas and not so much the value of price tags.
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It’s called little man syndrome.
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I don’t understand the going in to debt thing. I have one child and we don’t make Christmas and birthdays about gifts. He gets one good present and a small present for each.
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You should suggest drawing names at thanksgiving or gift exchanging games where everyone gets one gift each
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I only got 1 nephew I got to buy for n he is close to the same age as my youngest so I ain’t worried
No one should go in to debt over Christmas. I’m sorry, but that’s a jerk move on his part. Especially since he’s not contributing.
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Or maybe don’t spend $1000 on Christmas gifts for your kids… just because they want something doesn’t mean they have to get it. His family became your family when you got married, regardless of how many family members. It doesn’t matter of you earn all the money of the house, or just some… you and your husband should be a partnership and he shouldn’t have to “pay you back” because all the finances should be yours together. So in short, yes you are wrong.
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You should have told him how you feel before buying the gifts. Also spending 1k on 2 kids is a bit ridiculous when you don’t really have money like that.
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Sometimes we do extra for our family members that are struggling. If they can’t afford gifts for your kids this year, maybe they are also struggling to buy their kids gifts. You never know, the gift you got them might be the best they get and they will remember that for a long time.
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A few times back in the day we did the ornament exchange. Everyone brings a wrapped ornament no saying who’s it from. Pass the basket around when everyone has their gift they open it to try & guess who’s it from. This was always a big hit.
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My opinion its all about the kids anyways.dont be so salty!
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First rule is you don’t buy gifts for someone just so you’ll get one in return… By breadwinner do you mean he’s a stay at home.dad or you just make more then him … cause the last time I check marriage is about being " Equal " … Maybe next time suggest that y’all draw names or just give a family gift …
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we used to do a gift exchange
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So if you take $400 and divide it by the 20 kids it looks like you spent est. $20 on each of them which is actually very cheap all in all we spend about $50 on neice and nephews just because things are so expensive but that doesn’t seem to be the issue what is worded here is that you don’t feel you should be spending that much when your kids aren’t getting in return…maybe start earlier next year you know you have those kids to purchase for we should have started earlier as well and we have 3 nephews and 1 neice then our 3 everything is super expensive but your kids should have came before buying for the neices and nephews in my mind that’s what we did we made sure we had enough for them then bought for the neices and nephews I still don’t expect anything in return I buy for my nephew his mom never buys anything for my child/children I don’t expect the return favor I just want them to have a good Christmas and know I was thinking of them
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you do know Christmas isn’t about buying pricey gifts, A few of what your kids choose is fine, but to spend a thousand dollars on them, is your choice. They don’t need everything they want, Now I will agree with all the nephew’s & nieces, If they are little, a coloring book & crayons are fine, or a little reading book, all cost very little. The older ones, even a 10 dollar gift card to the Gap or Old Navy or any store also is fine, but once they are older, yes, no gifts. So you still choose to buy & spend all of this money, so that is on you, not him
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First it is better to give than to receive!! Second whether or not she spent the $400 on his family or not she didn’t have the $1000.00 she spent on her own kids so in reality she went into debt for her own kids Christmas.
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That’s to many extra kids. F that!
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My husband’s family has a lot of kids (15 total) instead of everyone buying we let the kids draw names and buy a 25 dollar gift for the person we draw. Everyone gets a present, and the kids are not getting a bunch of toys they really don’t need. It has worked for us for like 7 years!
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We tend to forget the joy of Christmas is in the giving and watching the joy on the faces of those who received! Merry Christmas 
enjoy the time with the family for time is a present in itself…
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Take the toys back!!
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- Don’t go into debt buying Christmas gifts (let alone for someone else’s kids) 2. If hubby wants to show off and buy gifts he can get a job and do that (even then though he would be taking away from family’s budget and that’s no okay) 3. If the rest of his family decided that they are just keeping the gift giving inside their immediate family circle it’s completely acceptable you guys do the same 4. My hubby is from big family as in the last few years everyone started having kids we started doing pollyana around Thanksgiving for Christmas gifts (less money and let’s face it kids these days have sooo many toys already)
You sound kinda greedy it’s not about money spent
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We have 20 neices and nephews to buy for each year from both sides of our families (12 on his side, 6 on mine, 2 God children). But we always have to save a gift back for our kids so that when we do the gift exchange for the other kids, ours aren’t left out and have something to open too. This is because not a single person ever gets them anything even though we buy gifts for all the others every single year. I guess it gets a little irritating but at the same time all those kids know for sure they loved and thought about by Aunt TT and Uncle Mike
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You shouldn’t buy presents with the expectations of getting gifts back.
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We do a sock exchange in our family. As families grow it gets really pricey! So we each fill up a pair of Christmas socks with little goodies and trinkets. We lay all the socks in the middle of the room and then pick a number 1-? For how many people laid a pair of socks down. We go in order from the numbers. Number one picks out their pair, and we do that until all the socks are gone. The last person can steal a sock if they want because they were last!
It is loads of fun. We all take a family photo too wearing the socks. The photo is just a close up of the socks.
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I buy for my kids. My husband’s side of the family is also huge. I will go into debt for my kids. But I’m with you on this one. I’m the breadwinner in our house too.
Christmas isn’t about receiving gifts. You made the choice to spend a thousand on your kids knowing there were other kids in the family. Plus, just because you make the money doesn’t mean your spouse shouldn’t have a say in where it goes… that’s household money, not just yours.
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i have always bought for my kids 1st and now i buy for my grandkids 1st than if i have the money ill get something for the rest of family even if its just something small if i cant than i dont worry about it but my kids grandkids comes 1st always
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Wow. Gift giving is supposed to be based on what you m, or your kids get in return. And they don’t have to be gifts that leave you in debt. This sounds so greedy and selfish.
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Why not do q gift exchange from names in a hat. Thats what one of my sides of the family did. Everyone picked a name to buy for, this way everyone got a gift without going broke. Not all families can afford to buy everyone something Its about being together.
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I think to solve the issue here’s what my sister and I do for eachothers kids we do a together gift for all the kids. Weather it’s a movie with popcorn and candy or a board game. 
I would try to talk to your sister in law maybe and see if she would be open to that for years to come. Also the adults we do a name draw so it’s even couples get couples in my family. Then my sisters we buy for our parents together gift and our grandma. It works out and everyone’s happy and no one goes broke lol
Look just go to the cheap dollar store it’s about the thought that counts and I have always told my kids be great full for getting something.
No sense arguing during christmas sit all the adults down tell the no presents for anyone next year just a big christmas party do arts crafts hot chocolate play games who ever doesnt like it can stay home
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Regarding money it doesn’t matter who makes what and who is the ‘breadwinner’, buying gifts for anyone… especially children… should not be done with the expectation of something in return.
Also, you went into debt buying for your children, not others. If you didn’t buy any of the extended family gifts you would have still put $600 on credit, so the debt part is a moot point.
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I’d take them back simply bc of the financial strain. And he should hush, he isn’t even helping you pay for these things.
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I don’t know about anyone else but my husband and I love seeing the joy on the kids faces when they open their presents. We both agree we spend too much on kids, our own, nieces, nephews, and cousins! We also buy throughout the year on clearance. Can’t help it when it comes to babies and kids, they are our future after all!
You could always buy a board game for each family.
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We only have 10 cousins, and 7 of them are 4 and under. So we do a name draw. The kids each draw a name (they get a sibling or cousin) and exchange it when we get together for Christmas. They can pick it out themselves and love it.
We also draw names for the adults. We each get my mom a gift (my dad recently passed away).
We try to make sure not to make a big deal about gifts, at any time of year, bc I’m a single mom of 5 and just don’t have a lot of money to spend on extras.
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Nah. I’m a bit toxic when it comes to this because it has been the tune of my life before sooooo.
Let him pay you back. Dont return a gift. Going into debt over it is a big no no. See…this USED to be me until I chose the ‘toxic’ route. He buys for HIS side. With HIS money. My side I have THREE. (9yr,5&3yr olds)
His…15. (Oldest two are 16)
This year. I DID NOT BREAK BUDGET. my side got $5 gifts from 5below. My kids didn’t t get lavish gift…just one big gift each.
Do you want this situation next year? Because mostly EVERYONE pulls the broke card before the holidays. Families on my side and his rely for us to bail them out all year with finances and vehicles and my kids do not get birthday gifts from them or Christmas gifts. I put an end to the madness to keep MY sanity.
When my son turned 10 I stopped the whole Christmas present Bullshit. I let the family know that WE will no longer be celebrating Christmas the way society tells us too. Up until about 12 years ago I would buy little things throughout the year to let the kids know that Mom and Auntie love them but as for going into debt for Christmas? No !! IN the last 12 years I have walked away from every toxic person in my life so needless to say that my circle is very small these days and as for family? It’s my mom, Brother and his wife, my son and his wife… We are all very close and functional and the rest can Hell… We as a family unit are happy and Love each other very much and all understand that out relationship is based on truth and communication and not on how much money we spend on Christmas… We dedicate more time on Birthdays than we do Christmas…
First, I would tell him how much so he could pay on the bill. Secondly, he needs to swallow his pride and stop trying to boast about what he really don’t have. What’s wrong with drawing names? Therefore every one gets a gift and every one gives a gift. Besides all that, how about teaching the kids what Christmas is really about instead of making it all about presents. Do some community work together as a family. 
🧑🏻🎄
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Christmas isn’t about gifts or money.
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Bickering aside, suggest to the family that the cousins draw names at Christmas I have 27 nieces and nephews and that’s what we do.
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