Am I wrong to cut off my childs biological father?

Nope. You’re right. Child needs a consistent father, and one who doesnt hold other priorities before his child. Let the court know how inconsistent he has been and pretty much chooses to not make any efforts, or stick with plans to being with his son or doing anything for him.

Sounds like you have grounds to terminate his rights. Then nope, you don’t have to pet him see him at all. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. You gotta protect your babies.

you didn’t do the wrong thing at all your doing the right thing. your boyfriend also stepped up and became a father to a kid that isn’t his you have the right guy as a father for your son

It’s fine to cut him out a father who is not present with their child 24/7 ain’t a father just coz they help make one doesn’t give them any right. Go to the courts to your child a favour get him taken off as father don’t even bother with child support let your bf be the real father.

Just let him come at you with a lawyer in court, if he really wants to see his child he will do all that. If he doesnt then he will do nothing, tell him you wont let him see the child until he takes you to court :tipping_hand_woman:t2:

Maybe one day if he gets his shit together and actually starts showing up for his kid. Right now he’s only 2 but when hes 8 or 10 or 12 he deserves to know the truth. As long as you don’t lie to your kid. When he’s older and understands, then he can make the choice if he wants to see his bio dad or not.

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Doesn’t take blood to be a father speaking from experience a bi dad who not there or in and out affects the child’s mental my oldest son his biological father been in and our of his left he is now 10 and hasnt seen him in over 2 years and we live 15 mins apart

Block. And let him do the legal route. Been there. In the end…he never showed up as a father…only financial…and he remained in arrears after she turned 18…wasn’t until she was 19 going on 20 until he was fully paid up.

Omg please listen to my advice… my sons are 17 and 12 their dad left when they were 7 and 2. Oldest remembers his dad and its heartbreaking to watch him go threw the pain of losing his dad all over again every time his dad makes a “promise” to see him and doesn’t show. This has effected my sons mental health so bad he has talked to me about thoughts of suicide. It’s a absolute nightmare for him and there is nothing I can do but sit back and watch him go threw it because he still has memories of when “dad” was around. I remarried about a year or so after my ex and I split and my husband has always been there for my boys. He’s the one at every football game… hell he coaches the team lol he’s the one celebrating every victory with them and the shoulder for every tear that falls. He picks up the broken pieces and puts them back together again and he feels every heart ache and disappointment right along with them. See my youngest doesn’t remember his bio dad but he knows my husband as dad. He is so much better off because of it too we give him the option to reach out to bio dad if he wants but he has no interest. He loves my husband and THATS his dad. He is so much happier because he has no interest in being a part of my exs life because he sees my ex doesn’t make the time to get to know him. So I guess what I’m trying to say is if your kid has a DAD then let that be and don’t try and force the issue with the ex… when your child is old enough they will make their own decisions and they will know who was really there for them and who wasn’t but if you force it (like I did with my older son) your just setting your child up for heart ache and pain. Your son has a dad and that’s all he needs.

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*depending on the state, if child support due is over a certain amount, the payor can be arrested. The penalties would also vary from state to state.

In my case, the county attorney got involved; they got a Governor’s Warrant issued; he was arrested and extradited to Kansas.

This ended a little differently because the county attorney learned he was receiving disability payments - which made my child eligible for dependent payments.

*do you tell your son that his dad is coming for a visit? If so, for his sake, you might not want to tell him and save him the heartache. It’s harder on you because you love your son. And you know he’s not going to show up.

*document everything in a concise manner and without emotion.

*I don’t know what any legal visitation plan is in place, but it’s best to keep within the legalities of it.

*if he’s working, the state can attach a lien to any tax returns for child support.

*as for photos, unless it’s in any agreement, I wouldn’t give any, no matter how much he “demands”.

*check with a person who is qualified about the emotional harm this is doing to your son.

Make decisions from that.

*I believe that any child “abandoned” by a parent or someone significant in his life, needs to be reassured that it is not his fault. It’s the actions of his dad. This is really important.

*it’s great that you and your son have the support of your boyfriend.
My thought was, he’s not a stepdad because they aren’t married, but that was my age talking. Every kid needs that influence in his/her life.

*As my son grew older and his dad would call, I would pass along the phone number to him. At first, he would give it back or just lay it on the table. Then, he reached an age where he walked to the trash and threw it away.
I was allowing him to make that decision.

As hard as it was, I was careful not to say derogatory things about his dad because I didn’t want him to adopt my feelings as his own in refusing contact.

I’m not an attorney or a child psychologist - I’m a mom of a 34 year old who hasn’t seen his dad since he was 12.

In a high school autobiography, he wrote that his dad didn’t live at home because his mom filed for a divorce. That’s how he saw it.

Reading that broke my heart and angered me at the same time.

We talked. We’ve always been able to talk-a few times it was a struggle.

It’s not easy dealing with a young boy’s psyche.

It’s hard to deal with a man who does this to his child, your child - a child you love and put before everything else.

Because you’re willing to do that, I think you have the ability to make the right decision.

May God bless your family and continue to keep you safe.

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Speaking as a person who at 54, still doesn’t know the truth about her father, let me add this. Please always be honest about who is the sperm donor. I was fed lies until there is no one left to tell me the truth. It’s hard. Just be honest.

I have a věry same situation. Fingers crossed.

He is a selfish and toxic influence. Protect your child from him.

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I am in almost the same predicament bio dad has never see our son who is almost 9 and my boyfriend has been there since he was 3 months old and calls him daddy, all though my son knows that his bio dad just wasn’t ready to be a father when I had him, cause i want to be honest with my child, I do not even say your bio dad didn’t want him( which he didn’t) but that is not fair to the child, if you your willing to not have child support have your boyfriend legally adopt your son and then Bio dad has no rights to seeing him, you might have to prove to the courts that bio dad is doing more harm then good( not physically harm) but mentally by saying he’s gonna get him and never does, and that your boyfriend is the role of the father in your sons relationship

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Get an attorney and have his parental rights removed. Biological in his case simply means sperm donor not father. Document everything. Your child deserves better!! Good Luck!!

When i got divorced after 10 years of marriage, my daughters were 9 and 3. I insisted that we share custody because my ex worked shifts, 4 days on and 4 days off, he could see the kids anytime he wanted, he just had to give me heads up. I moved in with my parents, my ex stayed 10min away. He never made an effort to see them. I use to phone him and pretend that he phoned to talk to them. He would make promises to fetch them he almost never kept. I use to phone and remind him that he hasn’t seen them in weeks. On the off occasion he would fetch them and take them for ice cream or a drive, the kids would come home crying, sad or in a bad mood. I left it, i still kept the door open. He got remarried a year after our divorce. As they got older he would fetch the kids for sleep overs then they would phone me in the middle of the night to fetch the girls because they would not stop crying, only to find out they tell them ghost stories and things walk around in the house and the girls would be sleeping in the lounge, dark and far away from them, but still i tried to make sure that they have a relationship with their dad…My point is, my girls are grown up 24 and 18 now…at some point in their lives they started seeing him for what he is and they told me straight to stop trying, but they love and respect me for trying to make him part of their lives and know that i tried, the fault is with him…i think if i didn’t try and kept them away, they would have resented me…Kids grow up they deserve the opportunity to make that choice

Girl YOU DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG !!! Do NOT let anyone convince you to go back on your decision that is the BEST thing you can do for your baby !!! Your baby has a DADDY and there is NOTHING else that matters !!! DNA does NOT determine love and I learned that myself with my own babies and all our lives have been amazing and perfect since learning that so love your baby no one else and do exactly what you’re doing becuz YOU know what’s right for YOUR baby not anyone else at all :heart::heart::heart::heart:

My ex husband use to do the exact same thing. Make promises to our two children and never kept them. Even went as far as making sure to let me know that his gf was pregnant every month just to make me angry. With men like these you don’t waste time waiting for them to change , just take them to court and let the judge sort it out and if he still doesn’t follow protocol then it’s his loss.

Keep a journal so you have records…you need proof. How come you have a ‘boyfreind’ (no commitment there)…

What you need to do is file for full and sole custody thru court because without this he can show up at any time at day care, preschool, or school and pick him up and take him and its not kidnap because he is the father and there is no court papers in place a notorized paper is legal to an extent but not sufficient. Once full and sole custody has been awarded to you and he has given up his parental rights then he cannot just show up anytime and take him. I’m telling because this happen to me and I was told he was the dad and I could not file any kidnapping charges because I did not have any court papers signed by a judge that I had full sole custody even though he was a wanted man for murder, I didn’t get my kids back until he was suppose to turn himself in and while in custody he gave up his parental rights but the damge had been done and you don’t want to put your son thru that. I was very young and dumb I know its a pretty lame excuse but I was only 18 then I’m 41 now and my daughter is a single parent and its been the best advise I could give her is do everything thru the court system forget the mediator have everything signed by the judge and follow the agreement to the T to avoid any arguements and miss understandings.

Threaten to pursue gobs amount of child support to intice him to sign over rights. Have step dad adopt him.

Block him. Make sure you keep a journal

Girl ignore him and continue with your lives. Never speak bad on him to your son no matter what the case and don’t allow ppl to do it either especially around him. There’s gonna be this magical moment when he gets old enough to realize wtf is really up and it is wHt it is. I raised 2 young men now alone with the same issues and they’re 21 and 23 and they know whats up and that’s all that matters your son will too🥰God bless and take care of that baby and you mama’s

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I have a daughter that is 20 now. Similar situation. My boyfriend became my husband.
My best advice coming from experience, DON’T ever speak negatively of bio Dad and DON’Tcut bio Dad out. When he pops up or in and out, take it for what it’s worth.
Let your S.O. raise your child as his own and allow your child to call him Dad and respect him as his father. As your child grows, he or she will form their own opinion of bio Dad.
My Bff (our kids are same age, same situation) She cut the bio Dad out and her daughter as soon as she turned 18 moved out and spends time with her Dad. She resents her Mom something awful to this day! She feels she got cheated out of her right to know her bio family. :pensive: good or bad.

Dont feel bad. Let him either lose his rights or step up through court order. But document all your attempts and all his inconsistencies

At this point, you can take away his rights to the child legally. I personally would do so.

Trust me get something legal done if something happens to you the bio dad can show up take your son n there is nothing anyone can do protect the child to be with people he knows n loves not a stranger

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Don’t talk to him till he gets a lawyer he’s dodging child support and the work of raising the child he doesn’t deserve Jack shit from you lmao

Nope. Block him out. He isn’t needed.

I don’t have to read a single comment to know zero facts were checked. Blow up the assumption balloon!!!

Take him to court show proof of all the messages and ask for full and sole custody of him and he won’t be able to see your son but will still have to provide for him. I was in a similar situation and my daughter turns 16
next week and she doesn’t see her biological father. Do what you think is in the best interest of your son. As much as it hurts you continuing this pattern will also put doubts in your child head about not being loved.

You’re doing the right thing my daughter went to the same thing hang in there

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I wrong to cut off my childs biological father? - Mamas Uncut

Keep EVERYTHING documented !!! An if he ever does go to court then u got him. EVERYTHING even if it is something silly !!

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No. Just get full custody n be done. Popping in n out or not being consistent is going to hurt the child.

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I would write down everytime he doesn’t show up and says he will be there

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And again drama queen

Take it from someone who’s experienced the same thing. Cut that man off.

I am lost. My son is two and his biological father has never met him but biological dad pops in. He has either met him or he hasn’t

I would get a lawyer and find out the best way to do it. You can have him waste less of your time, don’t wait two hours, wait 15 minutes. And document everything. But don’t do it on your own, that may backfire.

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Just document everything. Regardless if he has paid child support or not the courts would still allow visitation… don’t go out of your way to contact him let him do his thing. Just keep living your life with your partner. Just be prepared if you decide to file in court snd he does show up more then likely there will be some type of visitation, even if it’s just supervised but prepare yourself for that… I would truthfully just go on about your business like he doesn’t exist… it’s his loss not yours or your partner…

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Once again your making identical posts on multiple pages your true identity and why your doing this is my question

My sister in laws both went through this. Get a lawyer. Get full custody and document everything in detail. Every message print out keep it all together in a binder. Every phone call as well.

No. Even if he just pops in every now & then at least he is popping in… He is his father & he may grow more in the future and become fully involved with his child. Your child will be old enough 1 day to make that choice for himself.

Under your discretion as long as he’s healthy and he keeps it strictly about his son and doesn’t cause any harm… And if you find he is not healthy enough to have a relationship and know his place then you explain that to your son when he’s old enough to understand, regardless if you get child support you’re not obligated to him just your son…

You have a right to protect your child from emotional and mental abuse. To have his dad popping in and out of his life is not healthy & a judge will look at it like that. As long as you have documentation & can prove what you are stating you will be fine. Don’t be afraid to ever go in front of a judge. Yes it’s expensive & a trial is no fun but at the end of the day it’s about the child, not you and not him.

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Coming from a child perspective… My bio dad was the same way never paid child support. Hardly called but when he did swore he was going to come and see my sister and I. (We are twins) when my mom met my now dad , he’s the only dad we know but my mom never kept my bio dad from us even after . It showed us in not only our parental relationship but others relationships that people can say whatever they want but it’s their actions that count.

I have been there, you are not a bad person at all. I remember having to say to my children, your father loves you but he doesn’t know how to be responsible for you. Get the parenting plan do your part and let go of what he does

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Nope, notba bad person. Cut him out completely to protect your child.

I totally understand you

Write down everything even the postive (if any) along with negative. I did this it help alot

Yes I would pull back. Let him get attorney for visitation. Unfortunately you picked him.

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You can safely pull back but if you block him and he decides to take you to court he can say you blocked all contact and you are not allowed to do that with proper documentation. The judge say you kept the child from him. I went through the same and that’s what my lawyer said.

This might sound mean… but I say it in the sincerest way.

It’s not about you. It’s about your child.

Now this being said yes it irks the hell outta ya when he wastes your time. It’s inconvenient. Yes its rude. Makes you feel like your child isn’t most important.
Yet. That’s still who you chose for his father… now here is what you do. Document every text message. Print them. Every receipt of when you wasted gas. Print it all send a certified sign upon receipt package. So he has no other option but to admit that he received it. And simply state. That this is how many times OUR child was not enough for him to follow through. He is 2 years old and doesn’t fully understand what is goin on. That he is growing up and becoming more aware of his surroundings. When he does become aware hes goin to have questions and need answers. Until he can get it together and be consistent…
Now as a child that called my moms boyfriend daddy. She let fill my father’s place. It was nice while they had a great relationship. Once they decided they weren’t happy. We became not his kids. We were baggage. Even called her suitcase by him and her. We all 3 kids have issues with how we were treated. So please remember it’s about your child and protecting him. If hes 2 and that’s all hes known why are yall not married? I dont need to know but you need to really think about it. Getting full custody your self sounds great. Here’s the thing though…if something unexpectedly happened and you passed away who then would take your child and love them like YOU? That’s who needs to then adopt your child. Its alot n this probably goin to sound rude and mean. I’m coming from a place that lil guy was. I found out in my late 20s that I had a inoperable brain tumor and that I had multiple sclerosis. I had hard decisions to make when my little ones were very young. This is why I bring up these issues. Prayers for yall. Hugs to your lil ones.

If you cut him off altogether your son may blame/resent you for it in the future. Even though you were trying to protect him from the disappointment his biological father is.

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So many overly dramatic answers in here🤦🏼‍♀️. Get your own custody lawyer to contact him to give him the option to terminate parental rights or to come up with a mutual custody arrangement, let the attorney handle it, and move on. Sometimes the cost of an attorney is worth not having to deal with it yourself. Yes, it’s that simple. Stop making it more complicated than it has to be.

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Well after some thought, this is my advice. Document everything and that means EVERYTHING no matter how small. Bio dad does have legal rights, so I recommend you look into them. Continue to raise your baby in the way you are with your boyfriend your child deserves a good father in his life, but always be sure he knows who his bio father is… Some day he’s going to ask questions and want answers from him, let HIM explain why he was never there. It’s his loss.

All you do going forth is about your child, and what will make him happy as he grows up! Demanding consistency from the child’s father might not be possible, but allowing the father the opportunity to see the child, whenever he wants, long as it suits your child and your family is fine! Down the line, you will feel better that you gave all of them every opportunity, to try their best! Hang in there, this is hard parenting! Do not allow your child to wonder about his father, let him see and experience for himself, under your guidance, kids are pretty smart! And you are a wonderful Mum, carry on! Everything out of kindness, people are having a tough time and sometimes needs understanding, just to help them get to their best!!! Goodluck and stay well!

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I would go to court and get full physical and legal custody of your child. If you don’t need or want child support from him, ask him to relinquish his parental rights and be done with it. You will still need a lawyer though.

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Just document it all and cut him off. U have shown effort for 2 years as you said.

As unreliable as he is don’t cut him off. When your child gets old enough to understand let him/her decide that way you can not be blamed for his disappearing ways.

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You have done what you can and provided enough opportunities for him to be an active part of the child’s life. Let it be. Continue to keep documentation as things arise but DO NOT GO OUT OF YOUR WAY anymore. Let his wallet and a lawyer do the talking.

No sounds like a sperm donor only

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Why does everyone always feel the need to put ‘he doesn’t pay child support’
So what…thats not the issue. The issue is the inconsistency

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I see nothing wrong with it, tbh my mom did this all the time when I was kid and by the age of 5 I’d end up crying for hours because she said she would show up and never would.
Honestly at such a young age kids don’t understand what’s going on so most like myself back when I was younger always felt abandoned whenever it would be time for said parent was supposed to show and wouldn’t.
No child deserves to feel like that, and I have big respect for you for cutting him off before he could cause those emotional scars on your baby :sparkling_heart:
good job :sparkling_heart:

I would keep the line of communication open. At least for your son. I know right now it seems like denying your ex, your son seems like the right decision, but it might in the future have emotional consequences. We never consider abandonment issues a thing. Yet your son at some point might have those. So never ever deny your son to his biological father. It will be hard.
That being said you do have the right to tell your ex he needs to decide and stick with and commit to whatever it is he wants to do.
Luckily your son is young and has another father in his life. Having more parents is good. Let that man take over day to day parenting duties. Your son will recognize what his stepdad does for him.
It will be hard, but you made a baby with that man and he will be in your life forever. Regardless of the choices he makes.

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Don’t cut him off just don’t get excited when he says he’s going to do something. When he says he’s going to come pick up your son act like thats not going to happen, bcuz 90% of the time he bails :roll_eyes:.
Your son will grow up, your son will see wit his own eyes who was there. At the end of the day it’s his loss :woman_shrugging:t4: . Good luck :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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I cut ex off 6 months ago and doing way better

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Please see an attorney before you do anything at all

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Kid needs his Dad. Leave a door open whenever he behaves respectfully.
Also Don’t take shit from anybody
He will go in and out of behaving respectfully, try to ignore him when he was disrespectful all together, and leave room for when he is respectful

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The best thing is to keep full records of everything. If he wants to see his son, give him a day and time, tell him he needs to contact you so long before if he is going to cancel. Never tell your child about it until you see the sperm donor at the set location. Explain that if he continues to act like a absent parent, you will have to stop setting up times as he is wasting your time with his lies. I know its a hard time as I’ve been in your shoes. You just have to make sure your side is fully protected so that a judge has no reason to try and point a finger at you for anything.

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I went through a similar situation like this and in reality he’s biologically allowed to do whatever he wants because he is dad yeah it sucks that he keeps disappearing and everything but legally you can’t keep him from popping up in his child’s life unless by the court he’s not allowed to see him. All you can do is keep documenting everything and doing your best but just because it’s an inconvenient and wasting your time to have to make these arrangements and him just bail all you can do is continue to document that because technically he could turn around and say you’re keeping the child from him because it’s inconvenient for you so just make sure you’re documenting everything with pictures writing stuff down text messages make sure you don’t get rid of anything to prove that he chooses not to be there but in reality court still going to give him some type of visitation unless he is a criminal in someway and a harm to the child. I did this for the first year of my daughters life where her dad was in and out of her life and chose not to be there and then things changed where he pull his head out of his ass but there was really nothing I can do to get full Custody because he’s no harm to her. Cutting him off will look bad on you keep that door open for him but he keeps messing it up so your child will see that eventually but that’s not for you to decide if the father can or cannot be in your child’s life he’s biologically dad whether you want it to be that way or not. It sucks and I feel for your situation I’ve been there with my daughters father and currently there again with my unborn baby father I wish he would just stay away but unfortunately he’s bio dad and he has a right to be in or out of his kids life when he’s born. Good luck

If the boyfriend is in it for the long haul and he’s been there for your son. Terminate the biological father. He’s a proven flake who will only cause you and your son drama and heartache. See an atty about the process.

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Honestly being a child and adult that had to deal with an absent father or beg him for his love, I think it might be best to just back away. Don’t ever let your child feel like he has to beg for his father’s attention. It SUCKS and should never be that way. It sounds like your boyfriend has been more of a father than his own. And we all know it doesn’t take a blood connection to be a dad.

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I’ve been the child in this kind of situation, just opposite parents. My dad always held up his end and allowed my mom to show her inconsistencies. This is what I remember very well from a young age. Do your part, document everything and allow him to show himself as he is.

On the other side of this due to my therapy I have learned I have issues with rejection due to her behavior to this day but my therapist is also happy to know I’m able to draw rules and guidelines for what I expect of my mother to have a role in my life and im 29.
Allow him the opportunity to show who he is to his kid rather than have your child think it’s your fault and be highly disappointed by their father in adult years. Who knows the damage it could do to your child in later years.

Your current boyfriend and you can actually go the adoption route

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You’re doing the right thing. I had a father who popped in and out of my life (mostly out), was totally inconsistent, and basically drove me into a deep depression with all his mind games…acting like he cared when he didn’t, lying about things, promising and not delivering, not paying child support, not showing up for scheduled visits, and forgetting my birthdays.

Honestly, I’d had been better off if my mother had blocked him from my life. Who needs that level of toxicity?

I’d tell him to sling his hook

Can I please reccomend to document every single thing he does and recommend your attorney request he sign over his parental rights. Then get a restraining order included within this. BSed on tye grounds that he is absent, undependable and unsupportive. Please keep high energy and let everything run its course. Most of all keep your patience and do not try to rush anything. Everything will work in your favor in the end. BB.

No. Do not do that because that can cause you more problems. Get custody. Do not block him just document everything. They will and can use you refusing contact from him as you keeping the child away from him and then he’ll have chance to go at full custody. Document everything, when he doesn’t show, every single thing.

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You have no right to cut him out of your child’s life, unless he’s a pedophile. Always give the opportunity, but never have high expectations if he acts like this

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#1: your boyfriend is not your child’s stepdad. That’s it…that’s all I got. You can’t force him to be there if he doesn’t want to. I’m not sure is meant by “cut off”. Without a court order, he will always legally be entitled to be a part of his life, but it sounds like he has already cut himself off. Sometimes the trash takes out itself :woman_shrugging:t5:

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Absolutely not. You are doing what every mama out there does. Looking out for the well being of her baby. Believe me a pop in wanna be does more harm than good in the long run :purple_heart::purple_heart:

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You and your son are entitled to live a good life. Biological contribution is not a relationship. You, nor your son owe this man nothing. Biological is contributing nothing but stress and confusion.
Perhaps, get an attorney yourself and shut him off. If your son questions you later…tell the truth. Neither of you need to live your life based on a sperm donor’s wishes.
If… the biological wants to straightened his crap up …monetarily and responsibility wise…that needs to come from him. Biology does not make a good parent.
Live your best life…:heart:

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Cut. Him. Off.
Your son is not old enough yet to realize that this man does not care enough about him to follow through. So, don’t expose him to a future of broken promises and heartache from a man that doesn’t deserve a space in his life. Move on and just keep looking out for your son.

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You are gonna have to let him keep wasting your time. If not he will blame you, and he will be right.

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Parenting plan is your best option. If he violates it, yoy can go to court and file for violation of parenting plan.

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Handle it legally. Get his biological father to sign off all rights.

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Terminate his rights now before it gets worse…. I’ve gone through the same thing for 14 years and my now husband is adopting the kids but we have gone through so many more hoops if we had just done it earlier

I’ve read I and MY to much in this post🙄 But yea cut his butt off seen as how he can’t be consistent💁

Went through this the first couple years with my oldest son’s dad…finally put my foot down and told him he was “all in or all out, make a choice”. He got him once a month, his comfort, which was fine and he kept that up eventually getting him more. I never tripped about it because his parents and bro/sis were very active in his life. Like many situations it was about him facing me, not our son.

I would tell him until he can start being a little more consistent not to even bother contacting you or the child. Nobody needs a part time parent. Children need to know you love them and are there for them all the time not when it’s convenient for you. The child is young right now so he probably doesn’t understand but once he gets a little older if you let his father continue with that type of behavior eventually it’s gonna hurt that baby’s feelings. Having a parent promise to pick you up and then their always a no show messes with a kid. They start to think that parent doesn’t love them and wonder what they did to make it that way. It’s terrible to do that to a child. Nobody could blame you for cutting that cord

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If you have full custody there’s nothing to worry about, no visitation unless ordered. Stepdad can legally adopt him but that cancels out support.

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Seems like “his” child is more of a matter of convenience when he feels like playing daddy, and even then, not so much. I have a problem with any “parent” shrugging off their responsibilities but wanting the “royalties” of the title when it suits them. It would be one thing if he’s actively played a role and helped with the financial aspect of raising a child …In this instance, I’d tell him to pound sand until he can grow up! Period. Until then, he hasn’t earned the title. Sounds like he has an active, caring, and loving dad already. Biology is overrated. It’s about who’s been there day in and day out. Through the tantrums, long sleepless nights, trips to the Drs, ER…etc. His absence from his life will tell him all he needs to know as an adult. I commend your bf. It’s not always easy

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Depends on the state honestly. For example, In Florida unmarried father’s have no rights unless they sue for parental rights. My sons father is 2.5 and has seen him 2x. Once in NICU at 2 days old for 20 mins and the second time was a week before he turned 1 for about 30 mins. He knows he is welcome to see him anytime but i won’t allow yo-yo-ing. So if He’s going yo be in his life He’s in it. If not then stay out. Never went after c/s BC its too much of a damn headache.

So do I think you’re wrong, not at all but make sure you know your and his rights before you take that step and document every missed visit, abd payment.

When he comes see you tape him he sound violent better leg to stand on get in jution order on him to so he can’t come in he get arrested when he start call the police say he might be violent

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I’d ask him to sign his rights away so his real daddy can adopt him

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I’ve recently gone through something similar… I didnt want to keep my children from their dad so slightly different as he is involved but had something put in place where he has to have them on certain days and have them back at a certain time. Get custody put in place first, try mediation, if he doesnt turn up they take it to court

Your son is still quite young to know any better you’d be best to seek legal advice and find out what your rights are shouldnt take it along yourself to decide if u find a lawyer u like and trust keep.him or her for future incase u need it good luck

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Children need consistency in their lives. Sounds like your boyfriend is it. Keep it up. Screw DNA!!!

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