Am I wrong to cut off my friend for having bed bugs?

So I have a two-year-old. She became interested in her dad’s phone, and of course, he let her play with it. Then some months back, it escalated to her having her own phone to play on. I thought, okay, maybe I’ll install some learning games (which she doesn’t play). All she does is watch Youtube Kids. And the problem is, I feel like the phone caused her to regress in learning all around. Before she was saying words, she stopped talking and making any other advances in learning. SO - I recently put her phone away for good. And there’s already been such a drastic difference in her behaviorally and other ways. She’s attempting words again slowly. She’s attentive when I speak; she plays and interacts with me and doesn’t fuss with me when it’s mealtime anymore even. Just a happier child all around. So my question is, has anyone else had a similar experience? Where you felt a phone/tablet too early caused your child to delay or regress in learning or speech, then took it away, and they improved?

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Hell no. I know the fear. 100% a friend gave them to me with a 5 month old . It was terrible . Just stay away for your own mental health . They are destructive little bastards

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What does imagist mean?

I had bed bugs. It took moving and bagging everything we owned for a year.

I 1000% agree with your decision. It isn’t that you don’t care but they are hiders and can go anywhere.

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No I haven’t been through this but I’ve been through fleas. And fleas were extremely hard to get rid of. I had got two kittens and the previous owner didn’t care what happened to them and I didn’t realize until it was too late and one or two fleas turned into like ten million. It took 8 months to get rid of them and I went over to someone’s house a few weeks ago and they were jumping and biting me and I was freaking out thinking they were going to come into my house so I made me and my hubby strip when we got in the house lol. You don’t have to not be friends with them but hang out places until they have it under control and if you realize they don’t take it seriously then distance I guess

I have vivid memories of this pest.
We lost absolutely everything to them. Tons of money in exterminators and money replacing everything we lost. I hear bed bugs and financial distress, mental stress and despair comes to my mind.

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5 years ago my daughters friend brought them to my house. I called pest control, immediately. It cost me $1700 to have them treated. Haven’t seen one since. That being said, I treated before we got an infestation.

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You have every right to protect your home & family. It’s not worth it. I’ve never had bed bugs and I can imagine it would be hard to say something to your friend. If they are a real friends then they will understand and if not then I guess they weren’t a friend to begin with.

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If it was a friend of mine I would help them get rid of them.

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I used plug in pest repellents to get rid of our fleas and bed bugs. It was the only way since we live on one side of a duplex and cant control what out neighbors do.

I don’t blame you!!! Bed bugs are awful and very very expensive to get rid of. Might as well burn down your home and all your things in it.

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Its not shallow, its protection

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I moved in to a place, then found out about them. After 2 exterminators, they came back. Has to be heat treatment!!!

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Just so you know you can get rid of bed bugs without hiring people to come in and do it. I lived in a town where they were rampant at when it came time for us to move we bought some expensive sprays got rid of them and have not had a problem since.

Bed bugs are just like lice and will jump from person to person on clothing or hair. One of my adopted sisters had a problem with stealing and brought them home it took forever to get rid of them. I wouldn’t even risk it going to lunch with me as you can still bring it home.

I dont blame you and be honest with them. I found one once in my home and it was from my job. I freaked and anxiety was through the roof for months after thinking one survived. We payed tons of money to treat our house.

Just settle a purse down for a second you could bring them home .

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Lol! You stupid fuckers! A little vinegar in a spray bottle on the mattress after a room bug fogger and you’re good.

I’d cut them off. That is one of my biggest fears. :woman_shrugging: To save my mental state I’d say see you later for awhile

So iv had issues with this I had a exterminator come and he put this chemical stuff that gets them sick and it’s contagious for them around base boards and within time I haven’t seen any

property manager so much work

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I wouldnt blame u…i don’t go to my friend’s house much die the same issue…all it takes is One…my old apartment got bed bugs from somewhere …(i believe someone we let stay w us) but we couldn’t get rid of them …moved To my new house n didn’t have any for looking time…until we bought a chair home from Goodwill…shortly after we saw One…got rid of chair n havnt seen any since thankfully

It’s a no for me. I wouldn’t take the chance. I’d be honest and tell the friend that I don’t do bedbugs and I’d also be willing to let that friendship go if the person wasn’t understanding.

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My son went over to someone’s home and got bit over 150 times in one night. He ended up having a crazy allergic reaction and a doctors visit. We threw our living room furniture away because that’s what he slept on the night he came home. We never got any in our home but it did cost us $5k in new living room furniture. They found out they had them because of my sons reaction, ended up throwing beds out and moving. They haven’t had issues since.

I understand the feeling you are feeling, but I don’t think I would lose a friend over it, just have healthy boundaries to protect my home.

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I helped my bestfriend pack , clean and bag things . I helped her in every way possible ( with CAUTION ) . yes I had nightmares of them :sweat_smile:. Yes it kept me up at night but friends help friends . I NEVER BROUGHT THE BUGS HOME .

Put yourself in "you’re friends shoes "

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Tell them to use lavender essential oil’s in a oil defuser.

I literally wouldn’t even do lunch :woman_shrugging:

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90% alcohol kills bed bugs :+1:

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I would just be careful not to bring them home when you guys do hangout, undress just inside the door, bag them up and wash them. Don’t loose a good friend over a situation they can’t help if they are trying to get rid of them, some people don’t even try or care to and then I’d understand the cut off. But I’d just be cautious. Probably not let them over.

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If this friend has been a friend for a long time there is no way i would throw away a friendship over something like this. Yes, I would be cautious with things but to completely cut them off seems a bit petty and extreme to me. How would you feel if it was you?!

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The house we bought 7 years ago had them and we didn’t know until months after we moved it! NEVER AGAIN!! And I mean I will burn my house to the ground before I deal with that again! I haven’t stepped foot in my grandpas house in years because he had them and didn’t go the professional route to getting rid of them. You aren’t overreacting! You can still meet up with them but be vigilant when going into their home. Extreme heat kills them so if you think something has been contaminated then throw it in the dryer for 30 minutes

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We just dealt with that mess 2 months ago. If I knew someone had it they would NOT be coming around!!! Those little fuc*ers can hide in anything :weary: Just like when we had them we didn’t go ANYWHERE we didn’t have to not to spread them!!! We treated with crossfire and cimexa cause the professionals failed… I ALWAYS prepped and checked before my kids left for school but one day i found one in my 5 year olds uniform pocket :scream: You don’t have to LOSE a friend but if they can’t understand the fear of not wanting them then maybe they’re not such a great friend? I would NEVER want to burden ANYONE with those little he’ll bugs… We dealt with them for maybe a month but I’ve read how some people have had them as long as 3-4 YEARS Idk how 🤷but why would you chance it?

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I’m the same way. I avoid ppl who have them. I went through such a terrible experience. And if I even see bites. I avoid you like the plague. I know ppl who have gotten rid of them by spraying rubbing alcohol everywhere. But still…I’d avoid

I worked at a facility that had them. Government ran mind you. So they were doing what they could. Hired exterminators. Every time we seen one in a room we cleaned the entire room from top to bottom. And literally it was like a year and they still had them. They multiple fast. And their eggs don’t normally die from the pesticide so you have to wait for them to hatch and get them again before they lay eggs again. It takes soooo long to get rid of them

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I would do the same but daughter breaks out in hives from being bitten by one. I’ve had her in the hospital over it twice from being at someone house so the first one I see at someone’s house we aint going back and they can’t come over. Those things can be on someone’s clothes or purse and can get into your car house or onto you.

You sound like a great friend.

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We had a house fire in January 2016 and lost EVERYTHING. A lot of people donated stuff to us, including a friend of my moms who had a set of bunk beds with mattresses for my twin daughters. After we moved into our new place and got everything set up, they started getting bites. We thought fleas because we had cats. Ended up being bed bugs from the bunk beds that had been sitting in this persons attic for who knows how long. We couldn’t afford an exterminator. Luckily we caught them early. Threw the beds out, tore the carpet up, sprayed every nook and cranny in that room, put everything in the dryer. Surprisingly, we got lucky and no one else got bitten. They didn’t make their way to the other bedrooms or common areas. But they are horrible to deal with, get rid of and keep them gone. So no, you’re not shallow and shouldn’t feel so by not wanting to go over there. You have to think of yourself and your family because it only takes one hitching a ride on your shoe for you to carry them into your home. However, at the same time, it is possible to get rid of them without an exterminator/inspection.

I have had bed bugs they came home with my kids from school we’ve had him twice and every time we’ve gotten them I have gotten rid of them and I haven’t seen him since but yes you have to keep people out of your house if you don’t want to and you don’t want him traveling to other people

I think it is easy for people to SAY they wouldn’t drop a friendship over this, but if they had ever had them they would more than likely think differently from that point forward. I’ve never had them, but I wouldn’t risk it either.

So basically you are making the current friend suffer for the actions of the former friend. Either tell the current friend the truth, you are afraid of getting bedbugs or meet up with them and be careful.

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Heat treatments, steamers with lysol mixed with water. Put clothes, blankets, curtains in HOT dryer-run twice. Spray beds, baseboard, frames, everything with lysol.

If heat steam isn’t an option get the Ortho bedbug spray and spray everything that can’t be bagged up. Vaccum daily! It’s not really hard to get rid of them, it’s keep up the cleaning and spraying that’s hard.

No I have an issue with fungal infections. I can’t…even…comprehend life.

I’d be totally honest. We can’t control phobias, I’d keep distant and tell her I have an issue.

I wouldn’t loose a friend over bed bugs. We dealt with them little suckers and my friend came over help clean everything spray everything down

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Maybe offer other ways to help? If you are friends then you guys gotta be honest with each other. Excuses=lies even though you’re trying not to hurt their feelings. If y’all are good friends… I wouldn’t throw away the friendship. No way. Would they do that to you? If so… It doesn’t sound like a solid friendship. Maybe offer to help find some alternative sprays or treatments?

Regardless, I would be taking the same precautions until I knew they were gone. I have a fear of getting those as well. Never had them but heard they are awful and incredibly hard to get rid of. I feel bad for them

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Yes you will never get rid of them unless they got from someone support them

Bed bugs can survive 18 months with no food source. I don’t blame you at all. I have done the same thing. I’m highly allergic. I break out in hives when bitten. I can’t risk my sanity (itching alllll over all the time) because they don’t want to pay the money to get rid of the bugs. We still hang out in public places but I’ve been open with them from the start about it.

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Yes, end the the friendship. Because you are a shit ass friend who doesn’t help when things get hard. Your friend deserves better.

I’d be that way too, bed bugs are awful and it sounds like it’s been a long time issue

I have ptsd from those little buggers and if I hear of anyone I know having them I won’t go near them!!! I don’t blame you one bit! Protect yourself! Stay away!! Wish you the best :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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I’d be scared too and avoid them. I would still chat on the phone but not have them over or go over just because I’d be so scared. I had a neighbor with them and I swear I couldn’t sleep worried they were in my home.

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We got them years ago… you can be the cleanest person. They get be picked up even going out to a restaurant and hop a ride on your clothes, purse etc.

The only way we found out to rid of them is constant spraying of rubbing alcohol… it dries out the bodies…exterminator didn’t even work… rubbing alcohol sprayed everywhere in your house daily for 2 months… that way u got all the egg that would hatch too… and I bought a new mattress that I will for the rest of my life have a mattress casing on.

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My family has had them before. Believe me you can have a clean house and it just takes one to create an infestation. I wouldn’t cut them off, I would just be careful until you are 100% sure they’re gone. It is very embarrassing to have them in the first place. It’s worse to lose your friends because of it too.

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THE FEAR IS REAL!! LMAO!! I spent nearly 5k 2 summer’s ago. New beds! Exterminator! And new furniture and bedding!!! Never again!!! Never!!! You even say, bed bug. I’m OUTTY!

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I wouldn’t risk it either, spend a few thousand or hurt someone’s feelings

Your definitely not in the wrong at all! But it might help to maybe just honest and explain :revolving_hearts:

We had them a few years ago…was getting bit thought it was fleas until my husband found one on the couch…my nephew had brought them over a few weeks prior after getting back from traveling on the bus(best way to get them is traveling) Unfortunately we had to throw our whole couch set away and get new mattresses as well. Thank God we had 0 carpet in the house. We cleaned and used bedbug spray and managed to get rid of them first try…had an exterminator out about 2 months later and he said he saw 0 bed bugs but I think thats uncommon most people say they are very hard to get rid of…I think you should explain your fear of getting them to your friend she should understand being in that situation herself

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My son had a horrible infestation in an apartment he was renting and of course I woke up to their classic bite marks on my arm. Discovered those demons at the foot of my bed where my electric blanket plugged in. Flushes them all and bought an encasement the next day. I never saw another one but 2 years later when I bought a new bed we found evidence of many more inside that encasement. Ugh. They are straight from Hell.

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I mean I’d still communicate but I wouldn’t go there or have them come over my house for a whileee to be sure they’re gone. Horrible experience once that I wouldn’t even wish bed bugs on my worst enemy now. Reality is that anyone can get them and you don’t always have the chance to know from who or where it came from so being cautious is a given. I will add on that an exterminator did nothing for me but take my money. I had to find another way, so them not calling one wouldn’t worry me as much, just be honest with them.

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Yes the only way u can get rid of them is heat takes pest control very expencive

We got them from a neighbor
She never told me She had them until after i had been in her home several times and sat on her furniture. We thought we got rid of.them when we moved and lost a lot of furniture but nope. Even worse. Had to pay 1000 bucks to have it taken care of and lost even more furniture. They suck man.

Look out for you and your best interest!! I wont go near anyones house, that i any mention of bed bugs!! :flushed: im not bug friendly at all, of any kind!! 🤷

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I feel itchy reading this.

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I lived in an apartment building 10+ years ago that had them. I will forever have PTSD from that!!! I literally packed a bag of clothes to wash at the laundry mat and left everything I owned. I do not let people come to my house to this day because I dont want to risk it. Those things are the absolute worst!!! I dont blame you one bit!!!

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I won’t go to anyone’s house if I know they have roaches or smoke inside. And they sure as hell wouldn’t come to my house for anything if they have roaches because I don’t want them!

U don’t need a professional to get rid of them

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Bugs in my home is my biggest fear!!! I don’t blame you one bit for feeling the way you do because I probably would do the same thing.

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Nope not until completely gone

No over reacting. I wouldnt shame or embarrass them but there worse than lice n if u ever felt with lice. Its something u never want to do again!

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How about you help them get a good exterminator. I’m sure you could even raise money for this somehow

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That’s pretty disgusting honestly

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If the live in a multi family property, if their neighbors don’t get rid of them at the same time it’ll be vicious cycle.

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How does someone let bedbugs go on for a year just seems like they don’t care just gross

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It is never wrong to set boundaries especially when it comes to your personal health or environment…but as a genuine ‘friend’ you could offer help and support and be understanding…if the only way you see them is in public then so be it .

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Uh no. You can text or talk on the phone. But we won’t be visiting knowing there are bed bugs tagging along. That’s contagious

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How about grow up and act like an adult.

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I wouldnt cut them off, if i were you id express my concern and tell her how i truly felt. It happens sometimes. Unintentionally so

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Ned bugs are incredibly difficult to get rid of. We had a very good exterminator come and they were still a problem. Didn’t have money for another professional for a damn long time.
And especially if they’re getting them someplace else. My boyfriend was picking them up unknowingly from someone he worked with because they had work lockers next to each other so stuff would hang on the guys bag and then travel to other people’s stuff. Then it’s a constant cycle of getting rid of them and them coming back and that shits expensive.
I’d never cut off a friend for having to deal with them especially after I’ve had to deal with them as well. I’d jump in and try and help her get rid of them

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I’ve quit hanging out with others until they get it resolved. :woman_shrugging:t2: One person in our friend group had them then all 10 of us did. Took thousands of dollars to get rid of. Not doing that again. We can still be friends, you’re just not getting in my car or coming over till they are gone lol

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Help her. If you value her enough to ask this question you should offer to help her instead of judgement

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Encourage your friend to move get rid of all her things and start fresh as much as possible. It is nearly impossible to get rid of these things. Even after exterminators come. It’s deffinetly a problem I would not want to deal with.

I get not wanting to get bed bugs and all but why would you cut your friend out of your life over it? You can still be friends and talk over the phone or be cautious when around them as to not bring them home with you. Real friends don’t play childish games and throw ppl out if their lives over something that can happen to anyone. You got a lot of growing up to do yikes

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Don’t chance it, they should be able to understand your point of view.

You should let her go for both of y’all’s sanity. Explain to her why you’re so leery about what she’s saying & let her make the decision.

Find cleaner friends. 🪳:spider::ant::cricket::mosquito:

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Bed bugs are EXTREMELY difficult to get rid of. You can hire an exterminator, spray every other day, and keep a clean home yet still have them.
Bed bugs aren’t attracted to messes so regardless if a home is kept or not, you can still get them.
It’s an embarrassing situation but ending a friendship over something they can’t control is even more embarrassing in my opinion.
They probably did think they got rid of 'em, as bugs can go a while without biting you, or can bite you in places you don’t think to look.
They hide in mattresses, bed frames, picture frames, under furniture, and in little crevices…

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It took me 6 months to get ride of them. Sprayed everyday, stripped empty and threw half my house away. I got them just for staying in a hotel for one night.
They were so hard and costly to get ride of, thank god I have hard wood floors that’s the only reason it was “easier” than other cases

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Doesn’t sound like this is an actual FRIEND of yours. If my friend wound up getting bed bugs, fleas, etc. at her house…I’d be doing everything I could to help her out and help her get RID of them, not dismissing the friendship.

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I wouldn’t go to their home. Period. I’ve had them, I didn’t think I’d ever get rid of them. That said I would take every precaution !!!

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We moved into a house once that had bed bugs. We didn’t know about them until after the fact. We tried everything we could to get rid of them; absolutely nothing worked. Not even top dollar stuff. We ended up having to move out.

I do not blame you. I wouldn’t go either or let them at my house! It is not worth the risk!

I would never be around them ever again unless I knew for a fact they got rid of them. I don’t ever want to have bed bugs. Them things ain’t no joke.

I don’t blame you. They are super hard to get rid of. I’d be honest n tell them why u don’t hang that much. No other explanation needs to be given.

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Hell no you ain’t wrong for not going. If you have lice, roaches, bed bugs or any other type of critters that you have living with you then I won’t be coming. Period! Meet that friend outside at a distance. Them bugs jump and you could carry them to your own house. Hell no!

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Girl you can come over and hop into the jammies I got special just for you! Ya know, outside before you come in :joy: and if you need a ride girl I got you! But I’m pretty serious about the whole quarantine thing so please zip up in this cdc suit before you get in, and then place it in this ziplock bag when you get out :joy::joy::joy: just be honest and tell her, girl I don’t do bedbugs, I know it isn’t your fault, and they’re super hard to get rid of no matter how hygienic you are.

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It’s hard but you can get rid of them. Have to have some one who’s dealt with them…

I don’t blame you! They’re so gross!

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Yes. My daughter came to visit with baby. She brought pack and play that had been stored in her landlords spare bedroom. She nor i knew then the ladys house would b found infested. Even inside the walls. Those things jumped off that pac and play on to my bed. Discovered them about 2 months later. It took the loss of a comforter , a mattress, a chair, wicker baskets, and countless bed pillows and decorative pillows , curtains and several clean outs and spray downs to get rid of them. I couldnt afford a professional exterminator. The can spray was $35 a can. I bought 2 and just kept after it. Finally i got rid of them. But now i will not let my daughter bring in her own bedding when she visits. She. is respectful and understands. She felt very bad about what happened. Im 69 yrs old. Clean up was very difficult for me. I think i caught them tho before they had progressed too much bc they only seemed to be on my bed. I did have to just drench the head board and bedframe bc they get in small dark crevices. And not just frabric but wood, metal, sheetrock etc

Dude I’m right with you.

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I have an immense fear of them so I don’t blame you!

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NO, I lived in hell for 4 years because of believing and being nice

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