Am I wrong to leave my boyfriend because he became a mommys boy?

I am so disgusted sometimes by the fact that my partner can be so needy of he’s mother. Am I wrong to feel this way? At the beginning of our relationship he was “Mr.Man”, I used to love how manly he was, taking charge and so independent but since last year he has came across as too needy when we are around he’s parents…Uuuuhg and it drives me insane to the point where I actually cry. I am pregnant too and we are moving in together in the next 2 months. I feel like ending our relationship as this side I’ve seen of him really disgust me and honestly I’m loosing interest very quick. Hes mom actually enjoys the fact that he can be needy, I can see it on her face sometimes… Wtf am I doing wrong? I love him but not as much as I used to because of the change of he’s ways. I feel like leaving him and raising my baby on my own. I know I can do it…I’m more saddened by sudden change to a “mommy’s boy”… I’m an emotional wreck because of it. How can I cut all ties as quick as possible and just make myself strong?? I have a made up mind … I give up No rude comments please. Just in need of some advice, maybe one of ya’ll went through this before? Thank you.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Am I wrong to leave my boyfriend because he became a mommys boy?

Saying he’s needy and a mama’s boy doesn’t exactly explain what it is about him you’re all the sudden turned off about or disgusted by that has you suddenly labeling him as a “mama’s boy” more detail is definitely needed.,… not to mention you are pregnant and pregnancy does a lot of things to our bodies physically mentally and emotionally maybe you need to pause.

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If it bothers you that much (not judging at all), then leave him now. He’s always been a mamas boy. He just didn’t let you see that side of him. He will always be that mamas boy. And mama will always win if there is tension between you all. He will not ever have your back. He’ll have mamas. And she’ll love it.

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You can’t “cut all ties”. You laid down and made a baby with that man. So you will be “tied” to him forever. You can’t cut a man off from his child because he’s a mamas boy. You sound a little childish as well.

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If you feel that strongly about it there is no reason to move in together. Just realize, mama can have him fight for custody or visitation

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You only have one life and if you are not happy with him then leave. But he’s the father of your unborn child and he will always be in your life. You loved him once so I think you owe it yourself, him, and your child to at least have a conversation with him about it.

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Just leave him but he still gets to be a dad to yalls kid lol. He’s not doing anything wrong it’s just your preference which is fine but don’t act like you won’t let him see the kid just bc y’all broke up.

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Not enough info. I’m wondering what happened in the past year (which, let’s face it, has been horrific for a lot of people). Did he lose his job? Did he or mom have a health scare? Have you discussed this with the partner?

And how do you want your child to feel about you? Momma’s boy or mamas girl? Or do you want them to not need you? I wish I had a relationship with both of my parents. I hope he turns out to be the best dad ever to his baby. I hope he finds someone who values that he close with his parents. And I hope he finds someone who will let him be a human and not have to be “manly” all the time. You need to grow up.

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The feelings you have could be pregnancy related.
Not all women experience that gush of love towards their partners when pregnant. It could be quite the opposite.
Also having a mama’s boy isn’t all that bad… my husband loves his mom so much and respects her and he needs her. I love that he loves her so much. She’s a wonderful woman, mom & grandmother.

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Is this his first child? If so, he might be coming across as needy with his mom because he’s in unfamiliar territory and feeling it. Add that to your pregnancy hormones and it can create all types of resentment or frustration.

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Maybe you’re just way to hormonal to look at this objectively. Chances are that you are the one changing, becoming emotionally insecure during a pregnancy is common. If the fact that he has a good relationship with his mother bothers you that much, you probably should not move in together or continue the relationship. Men and women should be able to be who they are and not try to be more "manly " or more "feminine " to suit another person. I will guarantee you that you are not going to change him, so don’t waste your time trying. Accept him or move on, there should be no room for causing animosity between family members to try to “build” the man you want instead of the man you got.:woman_facepalming:

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Sounds like maybe hormones since your pregnant. Then you say your moving in soon. He was a manly man now a mommas boy & you want out. Doesn’t sound like you’re even in love w him to throw in the towel so quick. W any relationship, even marriage you have to work on it talk etc. Things aren’t always going to be perfect. But are you even trying or letting him know before just throwing in the towel. I certainly wouldn’t be moving in w him if you feel like that, but that’s something you need to talk & decide w him.

Hopefully you don’t have a boy that becomes a mommy’s boy and hopefully if you do someone doesn’t do that to him

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I was in a similar situation but the MIL was very nasty towards me . We was Together 3 years before I even met her because she ran off. Came back my man forced a relationship so much I left him. Then I took him back but made him chose his family or his mom . He has stood with us for the most part sometimes it’s a struggle still . But I had set those boundaries and wouldn’t have it any other way. If your willing to have a grown up convo about it and have empathy for each other’s feeling it could go a long way. But be aware whatever happens the mom usually tries to get involved. Be on the look out for shady things especially being pregnant . I didn’t allow my MIL to see my children because of trust issues she got mad and called cps several times. Wanted my man to go to Court and get custody of my children so she could see them. Be on your Ps and Qs!

You can’t cut all ties, y’all are having a baby together. If he wants to be a part of his baby’s life and is a safe person, you need to let him. Completely unfair to deny a baby it’s father and a father his baby because you do not like how he acts with his mom.

Maybe his love language is acts of service. Everyone has a way they like to be shown love, regardless of the type of relationship. My mom died when I was 13 and when I visit on of my besties in Vegas who has a kid like 8 years younger than me, she babies the shit out of me. She brings me coffee and makes me meals. Sets up my bed and my area for me. I love it! I didn’t get that a lot and really appreciated her doing it. If it truly aggravates you that much, I guess leave. Just think about how pregnancy hormones can really affect the way you feel about certain things. Are you worried your mothering may not be like his moms mothering so he’ll think your a bad mom? Do you wish you had a mom to care for you in that way? Usually when something aggravates is greatly about others, it’s something inside us that bothered.

My ex husband was like this,it drove me crazy… I wish I would of left him alot sooner than I did… only good thing was my girls… yeah I would never again be with someone like that… Good luck…

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He had always been a mommy’s boy. This isn’t a difference for him. How long g have you known him? You have one life and even if it’s the hormones what does it matter. But know if this child is his you’re going to have toblet him have visitation so you are for thr next foreseeable future still have him in your life. My ex was a mama’s boy but that’s not ehat made him disgusting to me. He was abusive. I liked he had a bond with his mother to a point. Until his mother was his enabler. Through that experience I now have a long list of what I want from a relationship and what I see as red flags. Good luck. It’s you’re relationship you chose for better or for worse who you’re with. I just plead for you not to keep a father from his child.

You are pregnant and hormonal which could be part of the reason you feel so disgusted. Wait it out, talk to him about it, but also realize that hormones can make women feel and see things they wouldn’t usually see or feel.

Have you discussed this with him? Tried couples’ counseling? Since there’s a child in the mix soon, you need to try professional intervention first. This might be resolvable or it might not. But the question now is what’s best for everyone, including your child. You didn’t give examples of his behavior or state whether you’ve tried addressing it, so we really can’t say much more.

I guess it depends on what your definition of needy is. Like what is she doing that you find so disgusting? Or what is he doing that you find so disgusting? I think there is nothing wrong with a mother and son relationship that is still strong and at times still dependent on each other. If my husband wants to go to his mom’s house and have her cook dinner great. If my husband goes to his mom house and she offers to do whatever for him great. That means they have a strong foundational relationship. My husband and his mom are like the best of friends and when she is at our house there is no telling her no she will do whatever she needs to do in the house.

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You are the problem here. Leave him so he can find someone that truly loves him.

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Could it be you’re feeling this way because of hormones? I wouldn’t be so quick to act. How far along are you? Were you actively trying to conceive? Maybe he became closer to her because of that. Feeling that appreciation of what she has done and went through. How about having a conversation, and not an all out attack, but a conversation.

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So you want to leave him & keep him from his child because you’re jealous of his relationship with his mom? He’s not abusive to you. He’s providing for you & baby? I don’t think he’s offense is worth depriving him from a relationship with his child. I don’t think it’s worth depriving your child of their father’s love & from know their family.

Don’t move in together.leave now while it’s still ripe in your mind .

If you feel this way don’t move in with him. It will not get better it will get worse. Break up now.

You’re having a baby with him you will never be able to cut ties. You sound extremely immature and that you need to grow up.

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Gonna have to explain how he is needy exactly :woman_shrugging:t3: is he making his mom do things for him he can do himself or is his mom just doing these things being a parent? There is a big difference and even if he is having his mom do things for him he can do himself he probably just likes having his mom do things for him again when he’s around her. I think it’s great he has a relationship with his mom :tipping_hand_woman: wether he’s a momma’s boy or not be thankful he respects his mother :unamused: you’re a parent always and no matter what that’s her child

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Nope get rid of him!!

It only gets worse once the baby comes especially if he relies on his parents.

Hindsight is 20/20 and theirs a lot I would have done differently. If you decide to stay don’t play into the games do you and stand up for yourself

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Have you talked to him about it ?
If you’re set on leaving, do it. But I’m sorry to let you know, but you’ll forever be tied to him and his family. Because of the baby in your belly. Cutting all ties ? It’s his kid. You’d be shit person and a shit parent to keep a child from their father bc he’s a mamas boy…

Wait until you have a son lol

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Mama’s boys do not change

You’re pregnant. Those hormones will drive you crazy. I say just relax count to 100 when he makes you mad and reevaluate this 6 months after baby is born.

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