Your entitled to a mothers day it’s not all about your mum, flowers and a card should be enough, not a whole day spent catering to her.
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Not wrong. You could always spend an hour with her in the morning. Bring coffee, some flowers and a card, etc. But it’s unfair of her to expect you to do host a whole dinner every single time because that’s what SHE wants. Especially if it’s your first mother’s day!
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you do what makes you happy, But, yes call your mom on Mother’s Day & wish her well
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This is tough. Could your family do a potluck or everyone pitch in for those premade meals? Could who hosts be alternated? I have a kid. I am not a clean house person. I clean some but it’s still messy.
I can not remember a Mothers Day without my mum.
I am 69. Mum died Feb aged 91.
1 day of the year for her, also Nearly every Xmas Day, and every birthday. 3 days out of 365 days.
Mum was always there for me every one of my life.
I am grateful for every celebration day with her and Dad.
As to the hosting fine change venues, have a morning or afternoon tea. Lunch but the fact that you have a child doesnt mean you can not see your mum.
Also the grandchild is part of this too.
He or she might feel the same one day.
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Mine will not be around me cause she is toxic. Has been cut out of most family affairs involving me cause I can’t handle her anymore and my step kids and new baby are more important than pleasing her
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I understand both sides. Doesn’t matter how old you get, you will be her baby… however, your child and your wife is your priority. Make your mom feel special as mischief as you can and she will have to adjust.
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Mothers come around once and when they leave the world that’s it… do breakfast with her on Mother’s Day and then take the rest of the day for u and ur wife and child… Every time spent with family is precious…
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Ask yourself in 20+ years when your child doesn’t want to spend Mother’s Day with you…how will that make you feel? That should give you your answer…
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I always try see my mum on Mother’s Day although I’ve worked every one for the past 7 years. If I can’t see her then I see her on the next one, last few years I’ve treated us (my parents and myself & daughter if she’s not at school) to a meal out) better than cooking 
maybe suggest a meal out so your n cooking all day and you and your sibling split the cost of your parents and pay for yourselves? I can understand if you’re entertaining your not getting to enjoy the day yourself
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You should be able to enjoy that day, which sounds to be your first, the way you want. Understand that you are HER baby and she wants to see you on that day, but she also needs to understand that with you being a mother now, it’s also your day and you should be able to celebrate it the way you want. Especially with it being your first.
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No it is absolutely OK to want to spend the day relaxing with your own little family. I’ve had so many friends that have had mom’s guilt them into shit like this and it is just wrong! Tell her if she wants to have big family gathering she is more than welcome to do it at her house. Seriously if she wants to do it so bad why doesn’t she just do it herself? Probably bc she doesn’t feel like doing all that work either and who could blame her. As mothers we do enough work every single day so if we can lighten the load a little on mothers day then why not do it?! Good luck…hope you get to have the relaxing day you deserve.
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I know it can be hard but typically we spend it with my mom and grandma then I typically spend the day before or after as my own Mother’s Day
Why can’t you all just go out to a restaurant and eat so nobody has to cook or clean?
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Not weird at all, sometimes I think our mom’s forget that it’s our day also after we have kids, my oldest is 16 now and very few times over the years has it been a day for me that my mom didn’t make me feel guilty.
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Mother’s Day is for your mother. Not your wife. Your wife isn’t your mother. Unless your mother was a terrible mom it’s the right thing to spend it with her. You can spend any day alone with your wife. It’s selfish and self centered. Not surprised. That’s young people today. All about themselves
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I see both sides. Your mom wants to be with her children on mother’s day. That’s not too much to ask. You want something with less work & with just your immediate family. The only thing I warn you is that you may regret not spending mother’s day with mom after she’s gone. I personally don’t celebrate mother’s day because it’s a reminder that my mom is gone. I would do anything to celebrate another mother’s day or any day with her. I can’t even fathom the thought of refusing her that day with me & my children.
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I hate holidays and this is why.
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No you not let someone else do the entertainment since you’ve done for last 5yrs pick day b4 to celebrate
You only have your mom for so long you will have many years with your own children.
Not wrong but pick another day to celebrate with her. I’m not big in little holidays but she is a mother also
Every year on Sunday i go out to brunch with my mom, Gmom, and sister. We are all moms now and we still do this. By 12 I am back home and spending the day as I please. I honestly would feel super sad if my son’s didn’t want to see me on Mother’s Day.
I agree that you shouldn’t have to clean and cook etc. I’d just go out (even if it’s just the diner) to take that pressure off. I almost died last year and didn’t get to see my own children on Mother’s Day. My point is, you never know when it will be your last.
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Coming from someone who’s mom has cancer … Spend Mother’s day with your mom. You never know when it’s going to be your last. And one day your kids will be grown and have families, do you want to be ignored on Mother’s day by them because this is the behavior you modeled?
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No this is your day to rest and let your husband treat you like a queen
I dont understand how people could do this to their parents even think to exclude their mother on mothers day, how selfish rude and ungrateful are you, i hope your child does this to you when they grow up!!! You get what you raised, and even if she wasnt the type of mother you needed all your life shes still your mother and one day shell pay for it, you leave that to him!!!
One day you’ll never have to do it again for her, because she will be gone.
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Someday your mom won’t be there anymore, and I promise you, you won’t have any regrets for doing too much for her. That being said, if it’s too much just do something small for her this year. Stay positive always, with no regrets.
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Imagine your child telling you that they no longer want to celebrate YOU on Mother’s Day. How much would that hurt?
I might be a little sensitive as my Mom passed away 3/1/19 & my MIL passed 1/12/22. I no longer have that opportunity to celebrate with them.
Is it hardwork to host everyone - ABSOLUTELY.
Is it a memory that you will cherish FOREVER??? ABSOLUTELY.
Choice is yours and remember, even at a young age, you are teaching your child how to treat you.
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I’m all for avoiding toxic family situations. So if that’s what makes you happy- then go for it.
But I will say this. I am 34 years old and I just lost both my parents in 2020. The ache of losing a mother is just somehow different for me. I suspect it’s because I am a mom as well.
But, there’s so many things to process in general and some of them have to do with the times when it was absolutely right to set and stay resilient with a boundary and others where it would have been easy and not as detrimental to just let it be.
I am not saying one or the other. I don’t know you. And I know any relationship can be complicated. Mine definitely were with my parents.
But maybe just take in the idea of what is important to you and her and meet in the middle if possible?
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Torches get passed on as new families begin. Spending mothers day Saturday with them and Sunday celebrating your family is a perfectly normal healthy boundary. My mother would never be upset for me having my own day. Ever.
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When your mother is gone, and especially when Mothers day votes around, you’ll regret this so much, that you couldn’t make this ONE day of the year, special for her. Imagine your child telling or doing this to you, 20 - 25 years from now. Also, DONT allow anyone to make that decision for you to not depend mother’s day with your mom. Take it from somewhere will be spending the 11th year without a mother. And I didn’t spend every mother’s day with her. Regrets don’t make it easier. But , hey, do what makes you happy
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I don’t think it’s too much to ask but maybe you could both compromise a bit? Maybe have everyone meet for lunch somewhere? She can still have her time with her kids on Mother’s Day, you don’t have to entertain anyone or have the cleanup after, and you can still have a quiet afternoon with your immediate family.
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YOU are entitled to have the day that you want. I see a lot of people on here guilting you about when your mom is gone and what if your kids do that to you. You are allowed to have boundaries and peace. No one can tell you you’re wrong for that. It’s YOUR life. If your mom is so mad at you about this then know that she doesn’t respect you. I hope things can be ok.
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I would do anything to have a Mothers day with my Mom. I spent years living to far away to see my Mom on Mothers Day so it was always a phone call and flowers. Now that she is gone I would give anything to just spend time with her again. Your wife and child is with your everyday and you should celebrate her everyday. You should do what makes you happy but remember you can’t change things later.
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You could spend time with her somewhere else. That would allow you to do less, leave earlier and still keep Mom happy. Remember You are a Mom now and someday that could be you your child refuses to spend time with. Celebrate your special time weekend before or after Mom’s day.
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A lot of y’all aren’t reading - OP is a mom and has a wife. There is no husband in this relationship.
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Even though my mother and I had a “rough” relationship I always made it a point to see her on Mother’s Day, today I’m sitting at her funeral so I won’t see her this year. It’s small sacrifices we make as mothers. You’ll be her age one day and imagine what it’ll be like when your child tells you they want to spend Mother’s Day without at least seeing you.
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And OP, you absolutely do not have to entertain and go to all that work. You’re still offering to do something special with her to celebrate, but that’s apparently not enough for her, and that’s not your problem.
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Absolutely nothing wrong with it. You’re still making time for her. You’re allowed to spend time with the family you created. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about it.
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Some of y’all are being way too hard on OP. She is still saying she’ll have a BBQ with her mom. Her mom is acting spoiled bc she’s not getting exactly what she wants. I cannot imagine acting this like as a mom. Your adult kids continue to grow up and have kids too, and busy lives and different schedules. You can celebrate holidays on different days. It doesn’t make the significance any less. I can’t imagine expecting my child to go to so much work and host so many people instead of enjoying her first mother’s day with her family just because I wanted to throw a fit.
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The most rewarding thing I ever done with my kids was to have all holidays just us and did all the gatherings before or after. For example we have Christmas with our family, but it’s always a big gathering a couple days before or after. Christmas we spend just us, playing, cooking, and spending time strictly just us without all the rushing
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I wish I could have Mothers day with my mom. 
she passed away several years ago. Oh so much left unsaid. Just one more I love you!! 
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Do what you want! If this is upsetting so be it. A nice day with your wife would be what is a happy day for her!
I wish my Mum was still alive so I could spend time with her on Mothers day. Have a smaller lunch out with her and the family then spend the rest of the day with your child. Days gone by can never be replaced and neither can memories made.
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I think youre in the wrong honestly your mom wont be around forever and you’ll regret not spending mothers day with her eventually. I get where you’re coming from about not wanting to cook and clean but she’s your mom
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One day when she is gone you will wish you can have one more mothers day with her. Or any day as a matter of fact. Appreciate her while she is still here. Just because you are a mother now doesn’t mean you can do this to your mom. You can say you take her out for breakfast with your hubby and kid and she can go to dinner with the brother.
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i think you should spend time with her. just maybe not the whole day, because it’s nice to be celebrated yourselves as well. this will be my first mother’s day without my mom and i’d give anything to show up with a hanging basket…
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It’s your Mother’s Day too so you also get to do what you want.
I just told my children to pick a day out of the year for our NEW MOTHERS DAY. I WANT them to spend it with their family and I don’t want to share my day. I get a Mother’s Day with each one all to myself
I wouldn’t feel the need to do the big entertainment but I would still make a point to see your mum on Mother’s Day if possible. My mum passed 12 years ago and I would give anything to spend the day with her again. She won’t always be there. I’m not saying pander to her just make a point of seeing her. My friends mum actually died at 3 am and it just shows how fragile life is x
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One day maybe your child will do the same and then you’ll know how it feels.
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I have my own mother day and if I lived close to my mom I would have a day just fir her. Just like when divorced parents share holidays…
We usually celebrate one day fir me and make a day fir my mother in law.
Remember how will you feel once your children are grown up and have their own? Do as you wish to be done to yourself.
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Picture yourself as a grandmother and your child saying they don’t want to spend Mother’s Day with you.
She is your mother and will not always be there. Get the others to help you more. You will have many Mother’s Days without her.
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I would give anything to have a day with my mom again. Even if it meant hosting the rest of my family. #missingmymom 
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I wish I could spend another monthers day with my mum there not the same any more . U will regret it one day
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I understand how you feel, BUT, you talking about BBQ and going to peoples houses, But you never mention the love for your mother. You more annoyed by everyone else’s, which I understood that to very well. Enjoy your mother, this is not about me me me. You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for her.
You only have one mother, go ahead and spend time with her. You never know when is going to be last time.
She will feel bad because you spending time with your partner family than her, that’s to much drama. Enjoy your mother.
I have a different opinion on this then what I am seeing. When you got married and had a baby they are the most important family members you have, everyone else becomes secondary. You also deserve to spend Mother’s Day the way you want as you are also a mom. You have her an alternative to spending actual Mother’s Day with her. Give her a call and tell her happy Mother’s Day and that you can’t wait to spend the day you set up with her.
Then spend the day with your wife and baby.
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Enjoy your mom now I lost mine back in January and you will regret doing things with her I would do something small and cater something that way you could enjoy your special day or a nice dinner
Not wrong at all, especially with a small child to tend to. Maybe you can all do dinner out on another day?
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I would give anything to spend Mother’s Day with my mom
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If you don’t want to host, maybe pick a restaurant to eat at, have a picnic at the park depending on your weather, etc. she is your mother. If it weren’t for her, you wouldn’t be here and neither would your child. It’s one day out of the year. Mother’s should be celebrated every day but i would say no matter what, at least to see your mom. You don’t have to spend the entire day with her but at least make it a point to see her, maybe take her out to lunch, etc. Think about how your wife would feel if all of a sudden your child said they didn’t want to get together on Mother’s Day. Mother’s are irreplaceable and one day mom won’t be there anymore. Celebrate her while she is still alive.
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Be careful what you wish for. Enjoy family gatherings as often as possible. Celebrate Mother’s Day on a different day with just your little family separately. Best of both worlds.
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Maybe this is a different opinion but I say do what want for Mothers Day. Maybe let them know nicely ahead of time you made some plans for you and your wife that you’re doing something nice for her this year and hopefully they’ll understand: yes it would be nice to see your mom but your own family is jjst as important now
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No it’s not weird at all. You are a mother, it’s your day too. You should get to enjoy it however you want
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It’s literally a fabricated holiday to make us spend money. Invite her over some other day and make a deal then. In the meantime, do what makes you feel happy.
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I would do every 2nd year with you mum and every other year just you and your family or something like that.
If not, could you do Mothers Day with your Mum a day (or two) earlier and then celebrate Mothers Day how you want.
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What about a potluck BBQ at a park where everyone contributes and you aren’t stuck with all the cooking and cleaning but the whole family gets together and can leave when they want
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Nope you have a family now. You and your family do you. I like the idea of the bbq.
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Why don’t you guys celebrate it a day early with her? However not wrong for wanting it.
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No, you are not wrong. Your mom is.
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Not wrong. You’re a mom too, and entitled to spend the day as you want. It isn’t only about your mom and what she wants.
You celebrate with YOUR family and pay her a visit at some point on another day or later in the day.
We celebrate me on Mother’s Day my mil and mom get a different day that week it’s just whatever day works best with everyone’s schedule
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Time to tell everyone I am a mom too so someone without children or son’s can put on the event. Tell them now so they have time to plan…I would suggest a one email to everyone.
Your gonna miss this.
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I guess im odd one out,many of you are saying things like “how will you feel when you’re children choose to not celebrate with you” welp id encourage them to spend mothers day with their children’s mother,i had my turn,now its their turn❤OP enjoy you’re day,let the dust settle
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Could you celebrate Saturday with your family and Sunday with your mom or vice versa? One day you will be wishing you had another day to spend with your mom.
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For many my husband and I hosted mother’s and father’s days, including many extended family and our kids and grandkids. It was our choice, loved it. This year we won’t as both of our parents passed last year.
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You are not wrong at all. You could always take her to lunch or dinner or to get mani/pedi or something like that the day before or something. Or have someone else host and you guys can show up when you want and leave when you want. Without all the stress.
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Call her and wish her a happy mother’s day. If she wants to throw a tantrum, don’t have anything to do with it. It’s not unreasonable to want to spend a holiday with your wife. It’s not just about your mom, it’s about all moms.
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DO restaurants not exist where you live, you ever hear of catering? She’s sounds like a Karen and hardly deserving of a celebration if she’s going to be a selfish prick.
Your mom’s kids are grown… yours are not. You deserve to spend mothers day however you want as a mother.
No! Your mom sounds spoiled, but sometimes you should have a day of your own 
Yea its ok until you no longer have the option of being with her. My mother is gone and I wish I could spend mother’s day with her.
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Nope, you have a right to your peace and happiness and don’t have to explain your reasons to anyone.
Why can’t you split the day she won’t be around forever you’ll REGRET it when she passes you have plenty of time for yourself
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When my mom was alive we went through this. She wanted to just spend the day with my father and I and her mom also freaked out. It was like that every year until I got to be about ten and she just got tired of fighting it every year. It’s okay to want to spend those holidays with your wife and small children. There’s really nothing wrong with it. I think y’all should celebrate your wife one day and your mothers the next. She is a grown woman and it seems like y’all have a new lil family and deserve to celebrate it!
Do you boo! It’s your day now!!!
One day she be gone and you be in her place with your child , having grown up with out my mom I couldn’t imagine not wanting to spend a little bit of time with your mom on mother’s day , but that’s just my thoughts growing up without one
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You are doing the right thing. Call her and wish her a happy mother’s day and do not let her guilt you in spending day with her. You so right to want to spend time with your child and wife. Hugs.
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I agree with others, you’re gonna miss this. I’m a mother now, have been for a few years but a celebration for my mother turned into a celebration for us both. This will be our first mother’s day without her as she passed in February this year… I’ve never wanted this day to celebrate alone, now I have to.
You can spend Mother’s Day however you want. You just have to remember that each year your mother gets older and she won’t be around forever. If it was me, I would cherish each Mother’s Day with my family, which includes my mom.
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Give her some time to adjust. She will come around. Send her something nice to do with a friend for Mother’s Day like two tickets to the spa, and cash for dinner.
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Don’t let people guilt you by saying “you’ll miss this” or “you’ll be in her shoes one day” etc
Everyone deserves a break. Maybe try a get together on mothers day every other year. Or if you have siblings, co-host so not all the cooking and cleaning falls on you.
If you do decide to do every other year maybe take mom out for a quiet lunch during the week and don’t forget to call her on mother’s day
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I have 6 kids and they all come see me. But they are the reason I celebrate mothers day. Not much to celebrate if they aren’t with me. The adults with girlfriends split the day. I see my mom every mother’s day.
My mom and her sisters used to take her mom to a nice restaurant for breakfast on Mother’s Day… they would exchange gifts and celebrate my grandma and then they would all say good bye and go home to celebrate with their own little families and kids… ( just an idea… you can even do something like that with your brother the day before . Take her to her favorite restaurant and avoid all the cleaning and hosting duties)
No ,send your mom a bouquet and card. You have a family now and have every reason to enjoy the day with your wife. She’s a mother to your child.
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What is that YOU want? Not your wife or your mother but you
Nope! Its a power trip. My mother does shit like this to me