Anyone else feel guilty for working and not spending much time with your kids?

Does anyone else just have this enormous guilt for working and not getting to spend as much time interacting with their littles? My daughter starts school this year (4 and turning 5), and I am currently working from home from 8-6. An by the time I get off, I’m just so done talking with people. Because I’m on a headset talking ALL day, and I just feel so bad because she’s here with me all day, and I’m not able to play with her or entertain her. Is it normal to feel guilty for HAVING to work so much to make ends meet? And then just feeling like there’s not enough time left in the day to make up for it with my little. Please tell me I’m Not the only one!

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Anyone else feel guilty for working and not spending much time with your kids?

Yes! It’s the worst guilt in the world. It shouldn’t take 2 incomes to raise a family. At least comfortably. Let alone beging a single parent doing it. It’s all just not fair.
Life is hard. Beging a parent is hard. Rasing tiny humans is hard…
I’m right there with you.
Hugs. :heart:

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I’m a single mom and I work Friday-Sunday. I started working those hours so I could spend more time with my daughter and also focus on my mental health. When I was working 5 days a week, I hardly ever got to see my daughter, but now I see her more often.

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It’s definitely the worst feeling. I try to make the best of time out of work.

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I’m right there with you but I work out of the home & I feel like barely get to see my babies (4&6) I try to make weekends extra special. As they grow they will understand why we work so hard.

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It was one of the big reasons I started working a graveyard shift. Spend time with kiddos during the day and work while they sleep

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Nope because I know Im providing the best lifestyle I can for my family…but there was a time i felt like it.

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Take a twenty minute you break after work and then engage with your child. Hire an younger not expensive child to entertain her while you work. Then she getting people time. Do board games they don’t take long. Do arts and crafts. Have her do chores with you. Sing and dance. I know you are tired but squeeze that quality time in. There will be no regrets

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That’s how I used to feel and now I feel worst since I work night shifts and my kids are stuck at home all day/night while I sleep in the am and work at night smh…it’s horrible but what I started doing is when I get out I shower relax for a little and by 7:30-8am I’m waking my kids up so we can eat and try to enjoy the outdoors for a bit

Do not feel guilty for making a living. I have worked since mine were infants. Now they are 9 and 5. They know mom and dad go to work and they go to school and day camp in the summer. Weekdays we have dinner together and watch a movie before bed. Weekends are going out to breakfast and maybe the mall or playground. Do not be so hard on yourself.

I don’t feel guilty at all. I still manage to drag my ass out and do stuff with them after I’m done work, daycare run, dinner, dishes and all that fun jazz :roll_eyes::joy: some days they leave me the fuck alone and let me be lazy lol I appreciate those days :heart:

I feel it too! I wish I could stay home with my daughter; there is just never enough time in the day for everything!

Yup a lot some weeks I work 72/84 hours but I know my child is very well taken care and has everything he needs and wants

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All the time. Know you’re not alone, and that guilt is proof that you care dearly for your kids, so don’t best yourself up. Until we can support a family with 1 paycheck we have no choice but to do what we have to.

Mom guilt will get you either way. I worked 9 hours a day 6 days a week for the first 4 and a half years of my daughter’s life and felt the same guilt. Now I’m a stay at home mom and I feel guilty for not working and making money to give and do more things with her. I feel like we all feel guilt no matter what we do and it’s just a part of being a mom. Think of it more as showing your kids what a strong working woman looks like. Teaching them work ethic and dedication.

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You aren’t the only one mommy.
I work 7 to 5, have to come home, cook, keep my son in his route and still find time to play with him, I’m so tired by the time I’m done that I just don’t have the energy

With kids it’s quality over quantity. Spend every night at bedtime telling her how much you love her and encourage her. I work two jobs Nightshift and sleep during the day. I feel so bad for my 5 year old but I tell her I have to work. I make it a point to do things with my kids like go to the beach, mainly movie nights as I am tired. I am taking a 3 week vacation in August and I can’t wait to give them all my time, even if they prefer to play with their cousins.

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I worked 40+hrs a week, went to college 3 days a week taking 5 courses a semester, put in another 20hrs a week in internships… Its been 10yrs and I will never forget my 6yr old son telling me one evening how much he missed and that he only gets to see me 3 hours a week. I laughed and played with him only to realize a few hours later he was spot on. Guilt a little that felt like I was doing the right thing to make it better financial future for us. 10yrs later and a 4yr hiatus from school and I am back to school and working 70-80hr weeks and looking at my soon to be 16yr old son thinking to myself that this work and education so that I can make a better financial future for us won’t happen anytime before he turns 18. Now I have guilt necause it was all for nothing. I guess if I had enough taking the time off for those couple years right now we would already be set.

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Omg me! I’m a single mother (my bf is amazing and helps out so much but I still try to do most things myself). I work 60hrs a week overnights, and when I get home I’m exhausted. I dont get to play with him as much as I want much less one on one learning time. I feel horrible when i talk to his doctors about his speech and development because he has an obvious speech delay. i feel like if i weret at work or so tired all the time he would be right on track. I would be able to sit with him and do flash cards and practice numbers and letters.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Anyone else feel guilty for working and not spending much time with your kids?

Absolutely sweet mama!! And I’m gonna tell ya, I lost all those years with my babies! 45-70hr weeks for their entire lives, now my babies are 23,17&15 and those are years I’ll never get back. My suggestion is make every non working moment about them, I did not do that all the time, and I regret it tremendously now. But what can you do, you either provide for them or you don’t. Hang in there mama :heart:

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I drop my son at daycare at 7am and pick him up at 5 to 530pm 5 days a week. I miss the majority of his life. But he also needs to have a warm clean and safe home, eat, have clothes to wear etc etc. There is so much pressure on women to be everything and we simply can’t. Don’t beat yourself up too much.

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Sweetie Do your best that u can be there now that she’s going to school be there when she gos in and and be there when she gets out and don’t feel guilty about it volunteer for stuff much as u can. Your lucky u work at home. And love her when she is with u.

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You are not alone. :two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts:

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Anyone else feel guilty for working and not spending much time with your kids?

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Anyone else feel guilty for working and not spending much time with your kids?

I’m sooo sorry for you. It’s not fair that both parents have to work their lives away just to make ends meet. The world has gone mad with the prices of every thing going through the roof. I feel so sad for all young families.

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Just remember that you’re providing for your family, you would feel guilty if you couldn’t work.
Just know that working moms and stay at home moms feel guilty no matter what.
And there are a bunch of us that support each other no matter what.

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Dont feel guilty but I would make am attempt to do things with her that will make memories with the few hours you have before she goes to bed. Like one night a week plan a fun thing like dinner tea party under the dinning room table. Or shut the lights off and use flashlights simple things she will remember and forget you worked hard for her all day becuase you love her.

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Of course, all good moms feel that way. If you are able, what about a part time job instead of full time. See if your current employer would accommodate that. I worked from 9-3 for18 years while my son was growing up and I was able to pick him up from school and spend the rest of the day with him. :slightly_smiling_face:Sending hugs…

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As a single mom I always worked full time and child went to day care, then school and extended day and then home alone til I got home in the evening. It hurt and I had no choice. However, my evenings and weekends were 100% devoted to my child even into the high school years. We do what we have to do.

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You are not the only one by a long shot, but you are the only one who knows your situation, your heart, your family goals, financial restraints, extended family/friends help, etc. Sifting through all of that ( and it’s a lot) might help straighten out emotions in this issue.

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For those that are able to, it’s not for everyone, I did early childhood in home day care… I was able to stay at home with my own children and hopefully provided a home/family environment for working parents children while they were working from home. And yes some of them did feel guilty, and yes we feel for them, it’s hard bothways. We some way or another have to provide for our children.
Spend time with them when you go home, take time to sit read, play a game, do a puzzle, play with the cat or take a dog for a walk, with them.
All the best to you, and your family

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I’ve often felt guilty… but then I think of my own upbringing. My mom was a single mom and worked long hours. I learned how to entertain myself, developed a love of reading, was able to be super well behaved so I could tag along just about anywhere… I don’t feel like I suffered. So, I know that my kids are okay, too!

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I have the same feelings. I work 5 12’s and no weekend day off with my husband and kid and I get home after she goes to bed. I see her in the morning when she eats and that’s it. I’m struggling with it.

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Cant you do a bunch of fun and different things with her over the weekend? Let her plan your weekends out and do as many things that she wants to do that you can. I would think that would make you feel better. During the week you can find a fun way to count down the days until the weekend. That way she can look forward to spending time with you on the weekend. I’m sure it’s completely normal for you to feel that way. My daughter is in a program we have called Headstart and it’s basically school for kids too young to actually go to kindergarten and she absolutely loves it! She loves me and misses me but she adores her teachers and loves playing with her friends at school so I don’t feel very guilty because she’s so happy to go to school. She has loved it since day one but my kid is very outgoing and always wanting to meet new kids and wants to play with any and all kids so she thrives at places like that.

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I was in the military for 6 years. I was overseas the whole time and deployed. She lived with me in Italy and had to fly her back and forth all the time to the USA to her dad. It’s rough but she loves both her dad and I equally and has her both in her life. Sometimes adaptability is the best thing to teach a child.

Put her in preschool a few days per week.

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Listen you may feel guilty now but just think to yourself where would she be now if you weren’t providing for her properly at the end of the day when she’s older she will understand why you had to work so much and later in life she will thank you for giving her the best life she could possibly live. I’m sure you are doing a fantastic job as a parent keep up the good work :clap::clap:

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It’s normal to feel bad . But when she’s older she will understand . Read her a story before bedtime . It’s relaxing and quality time . Make weekends memorable .

Start your own business and have control,
people are so brainwashed we praise ourselves for working more days

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Many people feel guilty. But lifestyle and funds are something you should evaluate before children. Be realistic, know if you’re going to be working or not. If you can afford everything you need to provide and want to provide.

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Cant relate. I stay home with the kids . Sux to be u putting money first and kids second

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I feel this. I work a 2nd shift job and it’s a great job to have. I’m state employed so benefits are amazing. But I’m a single mother and my time with her is soooo limited during the week. I feel sobguilty about it, but my family have assured me she will understand when she gets older. I’m the only one taking care of her financially. So, it’s one of those, “kinda do what you gotta do” things. So many people that I’ve expressed the guilt to say the same exact thing. At least we are taking care of our kids! I still feel guilty but I just can’t let my job go or even get another because they will be super low paying and horrible if any at all, benefits. So I feel ya mama. Just know, we do have to work. We have to provide. Not telling you to not feel guilty but just take a look at what your job provides for your family. Hope this helps a little.

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It’s the quality of time that you spend with your child, not the quantity. Kids grow up so fast and unfortunately there’s no getting that time back so make the most of it as best as you can.

I cut back on everything…so I could cut back on work

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We shouldn’t have to work long hours to barley survive, what your feeling is normal.

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You can’t add hours into the day so make the little time you do have special. Have a bedtime routine that’s special just for her and do that every night. Or even just a cuddle session on the couch after dinner every night. An hour of quality time that’s focused solely on her she can look forward to each day will go a long way.

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Blame our government for taking our money in the form of taxes to give to people who don’t wanna work! All to get votes for there party!

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Many live that life You are not alone

I get it. I work 6 to 6 m-w +f-s. On Thursdays I work a 2nd part time job. I have two children but im a single parent and I have to provide for them.

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Yes… I wish I could stay home… but us momma’s do what we have to to make ends meet . Even when it hurts…

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When my daughter was little, I worked 3rd shift and she wanted everyone else but me. As she got older, she understood. Now she’s 11, I’m a stay at home caregiver for my mom and my daughter is homeschooled so life is so good now. I enjoy being home everyday with the ones who mean the most to me. I always felt the guilt, I was either working or sleeping. We just have to remind ourselves that it takes working to provide. ((HUGS)) to all you mamas who work away from the home, just spend time with your babies and love on them!

It’s definitely hard but in the end your child will know you did it all for them

Definitely not the only one. I have 4 kids (single mom) but spend most of my time at work. But the time I get off I’m exhausted I just want a shower and to sit or lay down. And on my off days I’m so tired I don’t wanna do anything. But somebody has to pay the bills and buy groceries so not much I can do about it.

I work 10 hour days and i feel the same way!!! Single mamma of 5 here and it honestly breaks my heart to see the faces of my children when its time for work… you are not alone

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Yes I feel that way I lost my babysitter so my two boys go with me to work. ( my boss dont mind but still cant spend time with them) my coworkers play with them when they can since I cant cause Im the manager on the shift.I feel bad cause I know they get tired of being at work with me but I finally got us an apartment and working slowly to get us all the stuff we need.

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Yes it’s normal, most working parents feel extremely guilty for not getting as much time with their kids, just like stay-at-home parents feel guilt for not contributing financially to their families.
Parenting is hard for us all, and gult is the worst feeling.
You should not feel guilty for providing a comfortable life for your children just like state home parents should not feel guilty of providing at least one parent for cargiving.
We all struggle with certain choices and wonder if we’re being good parents but that wondering that guilt is proof that you are a great parent and doing the best you can.

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I work as a EMS/security guard at my local casino 40hours a week from 4/midnight but I make time to spend time with my kiddos not as much as I want but they understand

You are not the only one!!

All the time. I work first shift and get up at 2-230am be to work at 4, get off at 1230-1pm. And I’m wiped out. Then have my son until 730-8pm. But inbetween pickup and take home; bath, cook dinner, etc. Then finally get to sleep at 830-9 and do it all over. I feel like I don’t have even have enough time to relax let alo ne play and do everything I had planned to do with him (but then exhaustion hits). It always kills me when I’m in the middle of something and he says “mom, can you play with me?!”

I work two jobs, one full time, one part time, but both from home. I understand not being able to entertain your kids while you are working.

My son is a bit older, so I’ve given him some different projects and things to do. He’s mastering the rip stik and earning his scraped knees.

Instead of taking weeks long vacations, I found that taking a friday or a Monday off once a month and doing a quick weekend away has helped alot. We go camping and fishing at some state park’s. We go exploring the little towns around us.

I am the queen of being broke, so I’ve found ways to keep costs down while still making memories with my son. (We camp, sometimes in a tent. Sometimes we rent a cabin in a state park, it’s really inexpensive).

U can chat with her in between if u get a few minutes break an give her lotts of huggs and kisses just to reassure her u love her…
At nightime in bed is a great time to chat an cuddle her …

I try not to allow myself to feel guilt over necessity…I NEED to work 8 hrs a day m-f to be able to adequately take care of my children and I won’t allow myself to feel guilty about that

I work management in a heavy call center I worked long hours( pre COVID) I feel 100% the over people after dealing with it all day! When I come home tho I take a shower and my kids and I head to a late night park trip at least 3x a week even if it’s for 30 minutes. I have so much work that I end up taking it to the park most of the time. And on days off we have a routine SLEEP in breakfast and a whole day just with eachother. I have to switch kiddos weekends and have date days Sunday! It’s definitely harder with more than one kiddo

It’s the sign of a good parent, feeling guilty. I’m in the same position. Miss out on so much but it doesn’t just affect me

I quit my RN job the second my husband called me at work and I heard my daughter crying and crying. We knew then and there that I needed to be home with our child we tried 3 years to get pregnant with. We decided I would stop working while they were babies up to kindergarten. We sold one of our cars, sold some of our antiques, didn’t sign them up for any sport or piano or guitar lessons. I then started my own home based business of transcription and I would type for doctor offices while the girls were napping or I could hold her against me in a sling and I could type with both hands :muscle:t3::muscle:t3:. I wasn’t about to miss out on those first young informative precious years We just learned to get by on a lot less than we thought we could

When my kids were little I drove a school bus and they rode with me from the time they were 1 year old

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Drove a truck during her formative years. Paid a lot of bills. Wasn’t worth what I missed.

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I work on maintenance for General Motors for 26 years and I will schedule 7 days a week for all 26 years I didn’t get much time with my kids but the money raised them well they are all doing super great in their adult life

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Maybe if you can include her somehow in your work. Give her a pretend headset, clip board, paper, post-its and have her “work” with you.

I work 5 days a week, although longer hours just to make sure I have two days with my kids! We have to work, they would be more miserable without anything but it’s important to find a balance SOMEWHERE. Make time. Even if it’s letting your child stay up later.

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