My daughter has been doing this since she was 12. She’s now 16. She quit for a while but has recently started back. She’s currently at an acute mental health facility. She doesn’t seem to want to use the coping skills that are encouraged when she gets really sad or angry.
Sometimes she needs a hug sometimes she just wants to shut down. The coping things they may of taught her might not even work for her, i self harmed from the time i was 10 until about 21. On and off for 11 years, you might need to to help her find things that work for her. For me im a writter when it comes to feelings And then i burn the noted in a fire pit and it just helps me let go. Others like to drawl on themselves instead of cutting some need music or to just be held when things get bad. My heart breaks for you both 