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QUESTION:
"Does anyone else find after time being a mum that find out they don’t actually like kids? Or is that just me? I have two kids who I love with my entire being. I would do anything for them as my children BUT I don’t like them. I talk to them and support them and try to raise them to be good open-minded and respectful children. For the most part i enjoy being around my own kiddos - they give me space and come to me when they need me. However, I have learned a strange unsettling truth about myself over the years. I can’t stand children and I am fully aware it’s not their fault. I was a nursery teacher before i had my own kids and there was always one kid i wanted to stay away from me at all times because she was just awful. Her attitude was that of a 40yr old person who had all their stuff together and looked down on EVERYONE and i couldn’t stand that kid. Both my kids are young teens and one of my kids just drives me crazy because just like a teen they think they know better despite all the proof proving otherwise and I realized that I love my kid but can’t stand their personality. Am I an awful mum? I tell my kids every day that I love them. I hug them and help them. I do all the things i am supposed to do as a parent. My hubs finds it hilarious that i figured out i hate kids and he pointed out i can’t watch tv with teens and kids because i end up yelling about her stupid they are and he laughs his ass off at me. Please tell me I’m not alone."
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"Sometimes it just happens that way. Lucky for you, they won’t be kids forever! Nobody likes every single human, and sometimes it ends up being your own kids, because personalities just clash. Do your best to love and support them. Make sure they never know how you feel."
"I could have written this. Ask my own kids lol. And the funny thing is, kids flock to me. It’s like uhgggg go find ya mommy. I’d never be mean or cruel. Or neglect a child. But man. I have three of my own, raising my granddaughter, I’d do anything for them and love them more than my own life. And heaven help the person that ever hurts them. But I dislike kids. Lmao. The universe did not understand the assignment."
"I say this with all due respect and sincerity but you need therapy. You may have postpartum depression that was never fully addressed. Even if u tell them u love them and do all u can if u have these feelings kids aren’t stupid and they can sense when something is off and just not right. Plz seek someone professional to talk to and sort out your feelings. Also if you can’t stand their personalities it could just be a phase or stage that you dislike not their personalities. Like right now my kids are preteens and one is feeling his oats and how far he can push boundaries. We have it sorted out but I can’t stand the way he acts some days. I will pray for you and wish you the best."
"I’ve never been a kid person myself. I LOVE the hell out of my kid and want to be around her 24/7. She’s gonna get sick of me lol. I also love my friends kids, but I don’t care for strangers kids"
"I love and adore my kids…that being said, I never wanted kids and got these 2 while using birth control…God had bigger plans than I did! While I love them immensely, some days I don’t like them very much. Especially my teenager…because she’s a surly, rude know it all. I remember also being a surly, rude know it all at her age. I remember disliking my parents but still loving them. We go through cycles. I’m waiting for the day we are both a little more mature and can appreciate each other again. Hang in there mom. This too shall pass…"
"Not alone. I think this completely normal…"
"In my experience if you are finding them to be repellent, you likely have your own buried traumas to heal around the situations & behaviors that arise that make you ‘not like them’. If it’s true that you just don’t actually like them, you are fooling yourself if you think you can hide that from them. Why you don’t like them is ALL about the work you need to do for yourself and them. They are sovereign beings and the way you teach them to relate to themselves and others will impact the rest of their lives (and humanity). Full stop."
"I love kids but my husband didn’t. He loved our kids, but he couldn’t stand other peoples kids."
"For those saying you need therapy and your kids deserve better (at least you love your kids. There’s way too many kids with deadbeat parents who give zero craps about them, like cmon). I think this is and can be completely normal. I also do not like kids. I love my son, but other kids (and sometimes my son when he gets an attitude) drive me crazy and I am not a fan lol. I was never raised around little kids and I knew going into having kids I wasn’t a huge fan of other people’s kids. I’m awkward around groups of kids and have no idea what I’m doing or what to say, but I think it’s normal. Like you I love my son and would do anything for him but there are days he pushes my buttons and I don’t like him very much. It happens. We’re humans. We’re not supposed to click with everyone. I love my husband but don’t like him some days. I think it’s all relatively normal. Also, not against therapy if it’s something YOU want and think you need for your own self-growth."
"Nope you’re not alone. I used to work in a daycare myself but after having my own children I will not watch anyone else’s kids but mine. I do not want anything to do with any other child(babysitting wise) but my own."
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