So my daughter will be 3 in a week and she started throwing temper tantrums that will last up to an hour. I’m at my wits end, time out doesn’t work, ignoring it doesn’t work, trying to give her suggestions to do other than what I said no to doesn’t work (she’s developed an obsession with YouTube where she watched movie clips of her favorite movies on it and I don’t like more than an hour of screen time a day and when I say no it’s hell) idk what else to do. I don’t want to spank her. I used to be able to just pick her up snuggle with her and give her kisses and she’d stop now she pushes me away and screams ‘on my own I don’t want nobody!’ And it breaks my heart. What do I do to end these temper tantrums.
Does she go to day care at all? Maybe something happened there. Could she be allergic to something? Other than putting her in time out, taking away toys etc. I’ve got nothing. It’s exhausting, I know, but she has to know you are in charge, not her.
I would say no more Youtube period. Tell her to calm down and use her words. You just have to ride it out. 3 years olds can be rough to deal with sometimes.
The absolutely miserable 3’s are upon you!
My 4 year old has tantrums so I send her to her room or have her sit by the front door until she calms down. Then I talk to her about what she did/didn’t do and why it’s unnecessary to throw those big fits all the time. It’s been helping her a lot. If they get super bad I tell her to take one of the cats or my dog in with her and talk to them about how she feels so she can express her feelings safely. Kids have to figure out what they’re feeling and why they feel that way. It’s not easy and I can’t stand the fits she throws but it’s better to let her have her moment and be able to calm down by herself. At my house we don’t do the phones or tablets very often. She gets one or two movies a day depending on behavior. But we always discuss what happened and why she’s in trouble or why she doesn’t get a movie at night. And I always make sure to apologize if I happen to overreact to what she’s done. I help her be accountable for her actions while holding myself accountable for my reactions and actions as well. Explaining what’s going on and helping them figure out how they feel and a safe way to deal with those feelings definitely will help when they get older.
Cut off the youtube completely.
Out of control people want someone to be in control. Just pick her up and wrap your arms around her until she calms down. I had a grandson that this worked like a charm with
This is basically how my dd was from 1.5-3.5 & I never found a solution other than having other people deal with her… she was so bad for me… at 5.5 now, she’s much better!
Time to take away electronics for good
Maybe cut out screen time all together. Bye bye you tube. Kids dont need it…they learn to need it. If she throws a fit just walk her to her room and leave her there. She will grow out if this stage but it will be ruff. Enforce your love and let her know her behaviour makes u feel sad because u love when she is happy. You love her smile and her laugh but her screams make you sad. I would for sure stop screen time though. Seems like she doesnt understand the cut off. Most kids who have grown with a tablet on their laps dont know how to seperate from it. Its like a blankey to them. My youngest was 5 when we allowed him to have one. By then we could properly communicate the rules and he understood completly. Its hard. Maybe go outside more bow that its getting nice outside. Throw on some rubber boots and go to the park.
Let her watch YouTube, then let her play outside, dance to music on Alexa with her, chase her around the house. Sometimes these temper tantrums last until about 21 years old! Enjoy her and play with her…that will get her mind off just watching YouTube
We took the tablet away no more screen time she’s a kid!! Let her play!!
Try and distract with something she likes to do. If she likes to color put a coloring book and crayons out or tell her she needs to go to her room to calm down since she wants to be alone.
This is 3… we use the ignoring method or I put her in her room until she can be quiet for 3 minutes. Then she can come out & we can talk about it. But you can’t cave. Sometimes it takes over an hr of her having a meltdown. She’s going to push boundaries to see if you’ll cave. It’s soooo stressful but hang in there mama!
I’m not the poster but I have a question…my daughter is in a stage she repeats everything we say she is 5 so it’s not learning to talk …is this just a stage, what can I do bc it gets pretty annoying when I’m being dead serious about something with her…
Don’t let her watch YouTube and continue to take away things until her behavior changes
Take screen time away for a few weeks. She will most likely throw a tantrum at first. But eventually get over it, find something else to do then their won’t be that to throw a fit over.
Mine kids where the same 10 9 And 4 with PlayStation aswell as iPad so I took them all away first week was hard with them complaining but since no Tec in the house beside mine and hubby phones they have became their old self from never to wanting to play or read a book they are out side more
Take it a way completely it is only give as a reward
Take the YouTube away for a while. The tantrums will continue but subside. Read articles on screen time and children. It causes them to be so consumed that when you take it away, it makes them snap.
You literally just described a 3 year old
Read the book No Bad Kids by Janet Lansbury or look up her website. She addresses this and other parenting and toddler issues really well
Time for tough love I hate to say it and truly my opinion is children that young do not need to be on the internet. when no means no it means no. if you try redirecting in that doesn’t work and just walk away and allow them to have their tantrum and then when they’re done you tell them that’s not condoned and that’s not how we Act. and sometimes they just need a little butt whooping to know that you’re serious
My 4 yr old is like that, I just wait it out, I’ll ask her why she’s mad, try to talk to her but usually letting her just get through the emotions for a bit works best for me, then suddenly she starts acting normal again
Get her off all electronic devices. Take her for a hike, with picnic. Teach her, with books, not IPad or phone, to identify flowers, bugs, etc. Keep her outside, exerting energy, as much as possible. You stay off your phone, too. They develop their behaviorial patterns from us. She is 3. She is not the boss of herself, and most certainly, not of her parents. Rechannel her energy now, peak her curiosity about life now, or you will have a monster on your hands later. Put her in dance or gymnastics class. Mine was in class before that and enjoyed taking instructions in a structured environment.
Take away the electronics permanently. Or spank her.
I used to pick mine up and plunk in her room and tell her come out when your done.
Limiting her to an hour a day sounds pretty good to me but if she’s throwing a tantrum when that hour is over then maybe it would be a good idea to cut it out altogether? Too many people try to keep children occupied with tablets,(not saying you do just stating an opinion) phones and video games. I barely ever see kids outside playing anymore like when I was young. My great nephew who is 2 was using his Mommy’s phone to watch YouTube the other day and my sister asked her to turn it down as someone was using the house phone and my great nephew would not even let her touch the phone, had a fit! My boyfriends son is almost 16 years old and his whole life is video games, he’s not doing good in school, not handing in assignments. As soon as he gets home from school he is in his room and that is where he stays until he wants food so he will come down with his cell phone on YouTube watching it while he eats and then right back up to the video games, if I voice my opinion all I get is well he’s not bothering anybody…My nephew was brought up playing video games all the time as well and he dropped out of high school and refuses to work, my sister got him a job at ADIDAS and he went one day and said I’m not doing that, my feet hurt so my sister told him he had to move out so he moved in with his dad and all they do is play video games together… My baby making days are over but if I was to have kids now electronics would be taboo! I had my kids in the 90’s and they played outside and I’m so thankful for that.
Hugging and cuddling her to get her to stop a fit isn’t helping, it’s only showing her she will get loved. I suggest getting into a routine where you set a timer and once that timer is up she’s done with any electronics. If she doesn’t listen then she won’t get that time the next day. It’ll take time but she’ll get there. Consistency is the key when it comes to “punishing”. You have to stand your ground. Doesn’t matter what form of discipline you are choosing
I took a recording of my daughter and showed her what she looked like when she would throw a huge tantrum. She did not like what she saw. Also, give her little things she can be in charge of for herself. Picking out her outfit for the day, have two or three selections to choose from, let her pick her shoes, give two options for snacks and let her pick one, once and a while, give her an option for dinner and that’s what everyone eats that night. But remind her that you are queen bee. We have a saying, I’m a princess, but mommy is the queen and we do what the queen says (I was a single mom for the first 6 years of her life)she was more willing to listen after feeling a little in control of her decisions for herself and I kept that video and if she started back down that road is ask if she wanted me to record her again and she usually would tell me no and settle down. It got to a point that we could talk to each other. I got her to start telling me she’s mad, sad and the reason she felt that way. It’s a lot of work but worth it.
Honestly she sounds like a three year old.
Walk away to another room and let her throw the temper tantrum when she realizes your not watching or trying to talk to her she may quit
She is going to have trouble understanding her emotions. That’s normal. Aim for more physical activity. Honestly she will burn herself out on the YouTube videos. She will eventually get bored. Or use the… “it’s dead… no charge excuse.”
Stop being so wishy washy. State the consequences of her choice to throw a tantrum and follow through. For instance, if you continue to scream and cry, I will put you in your room and you may not come out until you stop. If she comes out, put her back in, again and again. This is very tiring and time consuming but if you do not set boundaries now, you will always be fighting with her.
Turn on some music and start sing. Music helps…
Stick to your guns and let her throw her fit. But pick her up and put in her bed and tell she has to throw her fit there because you don’t wont to see it. And leave her to it. If she comes out pick up and put her back. Tell once she is quiet she can come out
Stick to it. Right now this is an important battle.Its who’s the boss time. Prove that you are the boss
She didn’t develop an obsession with YouTube you gave her that obsession by putting her in front of it dip shit
shut off tube,the computer. no more.cuddle,snuggle.sing laugh
My daughter will be 3 next month and she does the same thing. I take the tablet away for a few days. Also, when I know she’s crying to throw a tantrum, I put her in her room. Turn in the light, sit her in her bed and tell her she can come out when she’s done. It drives her insane to be put out of the room that everyone is in, so she calms down faster so she can be with everyone.
Let her scream it out put plugs in your ears and wait it out it will soon stop when she knows your not going to give in be brave I’m a mom grandma and great grandma she is testing you don’t give in
I used to put my son in his room on his bed and tell him “if you want to throw a fit, you can do it in your room. You can come out when you’re ready to behave.” If he came out still throwing a fit, I’d keep putting him back until it was over.
It was a pain in the butt at first, but eventually he learned that I wasn’t putting up with it and it wouldn’t get him what he wanted.
I tell my 2 year old if she doesnt stop crying ima cut her toe nails because she hates when i cut them and it tickles her feet, i know its probably a shitty move but it helps alot she stops right away
My daughter has these same temper tantrums and they are so bad also. My husband and I try to ignore it but it doesn’t work. She will cry for hours. You have to get her attention on something else like coloring or drawing. Maybe take her for a little walk. It’s a stage they go through. It won’t stop until they realize they aren’t in charge and screaming at mommy and daddy is ineffective. When she calms down, sit with her and tell her we don’t throw fits around her. It doesn’t work. We need to use our words and listen to mommy when she tells you no okay!? My daughter usually says ottay! Haha
Take her to playground some hrs have some activities at home for her do just keep her mind off the YouTube
You obviously let her watch UTube with no time limit in the first place. Deal with it
As a parent and children’s therapist, I’ve found it best not to discipline tantrums. They are a way of expression their feeling when they don’t know how. The best thing to do is to teach emotional regulation and communication. So first teach the calming. Tell her to take deep breaths and do it with her. Hold her while you do this and explain you’re here to help her through it and it will be ok. Second, once she’s calm teach her to communicate verbally what she is feeling and empathize with this feeling. This does NOT mean she gets what she wants. It just means you understand she feels that way. Then redirect.
So it goes like this.
Come here sweetie. Let’s take deep breaths. Ok I’m sorry you are disappointed you cannot have the tablet right now. How about we play with barbies instead and at this time you can have the tablet.
It will definitely take time but eventually they will get less and less and her communication with you will increase.
We reserve punishment like time out for serious things like hitting a sibling or animal. And even then we still talk about it after.
Ummmm. She’s 3. She doesn’t need YouTube. Get rid of screen time. She’ll just have to suck it up buttercup. You’re the adult. She is a child. Just ignore her.
I dont let my daughter on my phone. And i keep the wifi off on her tablet when she does get it. But she hasnt asked for it in a month. Her dad lets her on his phome or ipad. But she knows when shes with me shes not touching a phone. I give her one of her baby dolls when she asks. She gets mad and askes another 2 times but after that she doesnt bother. If she throws anything she sits in her chair for afew minutes till she calms down.
My 3 year old went through a phase (few months) where her sitter would let her watch YouTube all day while I was at work and when I said no to it she would throw a fit, I’d pick her up, and walk her to her room and say you let me know when you’re done, then you can come out. She got over it really quick. Now when she throws tantrums she will actually walk herself to her room until she chills out. They are old enough to know that it’s not okay to be throwing tantrums like that.
Keep doing what your doing. Over time she will realize moms not messing around. Once you give in once or twice, it gives her the motivation to throw a fit even longer cause shes knows eventually she will get what she wants.
To keep your sanity. Put some headphones in and listen to music, go outside for a few minutes and take a break. Eat some chocolate or have a moment in the pantry. Do something that you can do to relax for a minute or just breathe.
You got this!
Take away the device all together. Since we took away the videos my 3 year old hadn’t had any outbursts.
There is no one answer. You are doing well, whether you believe it or not. Keep your chin up. My boy would start to have meltdowns over various things and, depending on what, I would tell him he needed to calm down in his room and he could come out when he was done. I always made it a point to talk to him when he did come out to explain why I did what I did and I understood his emotion. That gave me an opportunity to set those rules. Not every kid responds to this approach, heaven knows my daughter didn’t, but it was the best for him. Good luck and give yourself a mental hug.
My son I learned later on my son had sensory processing disorder. He had tantrums when there was excessively bright light, or noise. Then he had other issues too. It’s just not throwing tantrums there is a reason. Just look into it.
Stop letting her watch YouTube . Do stuff with your child like play music, chase her around the house , go to the park , get some arts and crafts out
Too young to be on YouTube. I don’t allow my 9 year old on there. Too much adult content that kids can come across.
My daughter acts similar at times. I put her in her room. She is allowed to come out when she calms down. At first, it took awhile. Now it is 5 minutes or less. She’s learning how to deal with big emotions that come and go quickly. It’s hard for everyone. Your doing great Moma!
Take the devices away!
Make her play with toys, the device is not good for kids of any age.