My boyfriend has kids with his ex. I have raised them when we first got together 2 years ago mom left state came back… He has custody she has visitation every other weekend and Fridays when he works till he gets off for his weekends. She is now throwing a fit that he won’t let her see them more and all this. In the summer they stay till Monday at her house till she works. She works nights. Then has let them go on vacation with her. Even though in papers it doesnt state he has to. Holidays we are attempting to split. In our state most people trick or treat on satuday if it lands on sunday… we are offering her to take them satuday to trick or treat so we can get kids to bed at a decent time on Halloween because of school the next day. If we mess up their schedule even by a half an hour we’re screwed they act out. We have tries to talk to her about splitting the other holidays. She is throwing a fit. She had them last Christmas eve and is demanding them this Christmas eve and all of Christmas break. She is refusing to pay the full child support amount and is throwing many different tantrums about all of. Now she is saying she is only getting to see the kids when it’s convenient for him… Mind you we are supposed to have a week notice if plans chance. She wanted them longer on his Friday… she asked that day and we agreed as long as she fed them dinner. She decided she wasn’t going to keep the kids longer. Even though we didn’t have to we was letting her. We explained if she talked to us we can work something out if she has plans and wants to keep them longer on his fridays… but if we have plans and can’t do it we will tell her again it is his weekends and if we make plans with the kid’s we explained we would tell her. But again she said it was only when it’s convenient for him… are we in the wrong?? I’m seriously done trying with her.
She should have thought of that before she up and left her kids? Y’all are being too nice if you ask me. 
I would only allow what was in the court papers. It was ordered by the court for a reason and I would be sticking to exactly what the papers say. No more. No less.
It is all about the kids in the end. I endured this with my husband’s girls, it’s hard yes, but we let her have them more than the court said and in the end things were no longer combative which was beneficial to the girls.
Stand your ground you are in the right she’s a deadbeat mam that’s not happy cos she can’t get what she wants she shouldn’t have left her kids
If my sons father wanted to be in his life, I would be Estatic! Who cares what the papers say, kids need their parents. Sounds like you guys are in your feelings. She can keep the kids later if she feeds them? What type of negotiation is that? Does she normally not feed them? You’re only hurting the kids by trying to hurt her and they will blame you in the end. That’s their mother, period and you’re a girlfriend. So many kids have parents who want with nothing to do with them and you’re concerned about child support? And this is coming from a mom whose kid has a deadbeat dad and doesn’t pay support. I’d give up all of the support in the world for his father to be in his life. Stop making it about you and do what’s right for the kids. People make mistakes, let her try to fix them instead of being so emotional about it. 4 days a month isn’t enough.
Sounds like everyone needs to sit down and talk like adults. Remember this is about the children’s relationship with their Parents. Keep the adult bs out of it. Kids should spend as much time with both parents as possible. There is no his day or her day. That’s what’s causing the problem. Let them spend as much time with both parents as possible. Leave the court papers and court nonsense out of it. These are children for heavens sake. If she wants them- why not? It’s their Mother. Let them go.
Get a set agreement and stick to it. No favors until there’s a better relationship
I think you both are being very nice and generous as far as it is. Honestly if she left her kids for two years you do not owe her anything but I can tell you are doing it for the kids which is awesome! However she needs to hold up her end as far as paying the full child support and realizing she is not in control of the situation. I’m getting the feeling you are a very kind person and you don’t want to risk any issues for the kids and I completely understand that but at the same time just remember to stand your ground together as a couple. You’re doing great!
Follow your custody agreement then, it’s pretty simple. That’s why there are court orders, because some people are not reasonable. If she’s not reasonable then revert to the agreement for everything. If she wants it to change, she can petition the court for an amendment.
Bio mom is being selfish. She was gone for 2 years. She doesn’t get to come back and make demands. Those kids kept on living while she was gone. They built routines and kids thrive on structure. I see nothing wrong with straying from the court order for holiday’s and such, but there is a court order for a reason. If she doesn’t like it, she can always take it back to court. Y’all are already being more than generous outside of the court order.
The more you give the more she wants only to mess you up, she is getting selfish cause you give her more every time she ask, if she wants more time let her take you back to court to renew the visitations and you only have to agree to what you want to give her.
Go by COURT PAPERS only !!!
Court order is a court order, you don’t have to do anything extra
They are her kids too…